Josephine, Josephine. How sad that you should have been confronted by some one whose only solution for dealing with which he cannot understand is to kill it. Useful for governments perhaps, but not for civilization. Think Hitler, Stalin, Pol Pot, Ceaucesu and all the rest. You did marvellously well. The only other thing I'd like to say is that I did my little bit of service on the medical side, and I can assure you that the big pigs squeal the loudest when the are hurt!
If you always do what you always did, you'll always get what you always got!
Josephine, you did the right thing. Bad people like that just steer clear, they try to ruin everybody's day. Now if he pushed you into a corner. just tell him. Hey, I did not bother you. Now if you want bothered keep it up. I took American karate, art sport and self defense. Now the best thing to do is steer away from any fight. You did the best you could, you left the environment. But any big man can fall as easy as any small man. In Karate, I concentrated on the big guys and how to take them down. Heck just poke him in the eyes hard. That would stop him long enough to run out of there. A girl does need to work on self defense. I could protect my SO and I when we are out. But would always walk away from a fight if I can because somebody would get hurt bad.
Part Time Girl
The guy is a moron, and he will get his, really in front of his wife? Do not feel bad and do not fight with these types it will get you nowhere, just stay safe, and ask for help if you have to. If he is on active duty he could get in so much trouble for this kind of behavior. If he is too dumb to know that this is another reason you did the right thing by not confronting him.
On behalf of those of us in military service, and the Navy Department in particular, I apologise with all my heart. I believe he is not indicative of the mindset of all marines, nor does he represent the true spirit of our military service.
Please also take into consideration that if, as you said, he had just returned home from a deployment, he is probably hurting as well. War does nasty things to the human mind, and often it retreats into a "safety bunker" of what it holds to be "right". HE is the sick dog, not you; and he doesn't need to be put down, he needs help and lots of it. I understand your fear, but just remember he has his own psychological wounds to deal with and though his are somewhat self-inflicted (he didn't have to enlist), they are no less heinous than the ones inflicted on the transgender and transsexual populations.
Please don't let this color your view of those of us who offer ourselves on the altar of self-sacrifice (even me in my oh, so small way) so that we all can enjoy the possibility of freedom and the pursuit of our own brand of happiness.
What Victoria said goes double for me... It hurts me that my shipmates, my brothers-in-arms would lash out at the very citizens we swore ourselves to protect "from all enemies, foreign AND domestic."Originally Posted by Victoria Demeanor
Know that you are loved. Loved for your courage, loved for your tenacity, and loved for the example you set by daring to be yourself. Strength is not measured only by how much you can physically carry, the intellectual and emotional weights are sometimes far heavier with longer reaching consequences.
Oh sweetie... I, for one, didn't think you were denigrating those in service. That was done by the guy who verbally attacked you! Know that I support you, and that I joined the service to give you (and me) the ability to seek your happiness whatever the price, whatever the cost! Just know, there is always a piper to be paid...
Last edited by ShayLeigh Dominique; 05-30-2015 at 11:40 AM. Reason: More support, Captain... She needs more support...
“Anybody can look at a pretty girl and see a pretty girl. An artist can look at a pretty girl and see the old woman she will become. A better artist can look at an old woman and see the pretty girl that she used to be. But a [master] artist [...] can look at an old woman, portray her exactly as she is...and force the viewer to see the pretty girl she used to be...and more than that, he can make anyone [...] see that this lovely young girl is still alive, not old and ugly at all, but simply prisoned inside her ruined body. [...] Look at her, [... growing] old doesn't matter to you and me; we were never meant to be admired - but it does to them.” ― Robert A. Heinlein, Stranger in a Strange Land
I'm really sorry that happened to you. I think you were absolutely correct not to confront the guy. Escalation is almost impossible to control.
Was he in military uniform? If so, I would put in a complaint with the US Department of Defense. Someone wearing a military uniform presumably is supposed to behave in a way that reflects well on the military. They might be able to track him down, or perhaps the restaurant owner knows his name.
In response to going after this guy through channels, I do not want to go after this guy at all, why look for trouble.
I want everyone to know that in no way am I putting down our people who are serving. I appreciate very much the fact that I owe my ability to transition at all to the people that protect our country and rights. I would like to thank all of you that served or are serving.
I, on the other hand, am a big sissy, weakling, etc., and always have been. The woman in me has always come through, even though I did my best to try to act like a male. I have been beat up quite a few times. Once in grade school, I was actually beat up by a girl. The boys used to pull sticks to see who got to beat me up that day. Mostly because of my feminine ways and not wanting to do what boys do. I liked playing with the girls, and got caught dressing like a girl at times. I never had the desire to learn to fight, as I hate all violence. I refuse to inflict pain on others, even at my own expense. I know, many of you are going to say that is just plain stupid. It is the way I have always been, and can't change as its a part of my soul. Besides, I can run really fast!! lol
Last edited by Josephine; 05-30-2015 at 11:39 AM. Reason: addition
Maybe I should have stated, I was in the Navy and had friends in the Marines. We went through sensitivity training and this behavior in not condoned. If you were to make a complaint it would go in his record making a permanent mark. I would let his wife and his buddies, which will likely find out straighten him out. I have been with Marines when they do stupid stuff like this and they are just looking for a fight, not exactly like this but close enough. I have had to physically pull them away before we end up in a brawl.
Take care Jean
im going to open reply to the responses i recieved. i learned to really fight by my middle sis who would not take crap from anyone and she is far from being a sissy. i got bullied because i looked more like a girl then a guy,i was scrawny,no indication of muscle mass and those bullies learned real quick to listen to me when i told them to leave me alone. ive had dirtbags talk to me and make threats and i responded that they were beneath my time and energy,guess they heard the edge in my voice for they learned to leave me alone..lets put it this way i give off a aura that tells people mess with me and some one is going to get hurt. sure im not on hormones but ive seen a 125 lb girl take down a 250 lb jock with one kick,so just cause you identify as a sissy,dont make yourself one,self defense is more then fighting,it gives you a backbone on dealing with these peopke without a fight.. 27 yrs ago i lived in n.o. la. first job was at this day labor place that opened at 6am and was first come,first in line for the good jobs. prob was this place was in a real bad part of town,2nd day i got there at 5am and was dozing by the door when two huge black men approached me and asked if i was afraid to be here,i pointed to my car and said why should i be afraid,if i can put a 4 cly engine in the trunk of my car by myself why should i be afraid.( at rhus time i was 23 and weighed 138 and stood 6'1" and looked like a sissy)they did not believe me til i showed them the engine in my trunk,word got around to leave me be. so self defense is more then fighting.
Cheryl,
I am not saying you are wrong, you have a lot of valid points. Its just not for me. Maybe someday I will find a mentally and physically strong man with an attitude like you, to protect me.
This thread reminds me of someone who used to post a long time ago.
During a thread about all the hugging that goes on when CDs meet at various events he posted something like "if anybody tries to hug me I'd probably break their arm".
I literally laughed out loud.
...and then I was just kinda sad.
I think the only way to truly understand us, is to be one of us. Nobody really understands us better, even the therapists. Unless you are transsexual taking the hormones and blockers, and doing all the other things to transition, you can never understand. A man never really will understand a woman!
Last edited by Josephine; 05-30-2015 at 02:54 PM.
Just remember you can not fix stupid! You did the correct thing by just letting the fool stew in his stupity.
Just and older girl trying to experience all that life can bring.
"Life is not a dress rehearsal"
badtranny, those are my thoughts exactly!
Paulette, I do believe I did the right thing too. When it happens again, and I am sure it will, I will do the same thing again.
Women can be just as strong as men without sacrificing our femininity. My sisters and mother are among the strongest people I know.
Choosing how to react to a situation like the one you faced is highly personal and no-one can criticize how you handled it and how you plan to follow through (or not). But that's you... it's not that women are weak, it's just that you don't want confrontation and that's fine.
I'm a veteran (Viet Nam era) and I know that veterans are no different from others. Some are good, some are fools. This penchant prevalent now to call every veteran a "hero" is ludicrous. Anyway, the electrolysis around your lips likely hurt more than he's ever gonna hurt you.
I agree wholeheartedly with this. At least, the calling every veteran a "hero" part .. haven't had electrolysis yet, not looking forward to it.
try telling my wife she is weak,lol or my sisters or my mom that they are weak,i know women better then i know men. men to me are much harder to figure out,and ive had to pretend i was one of em. i learned at a early age some fights can be won without fighting,but if a fight were to happen make them never forget that wanting a fight was a bad option. i may never want to transition and i have my reasons for that,but that does not mean im ignorant,been dealing with this to long to be ignorant.
This is the most sober thing, regarding the military, I've read in a long time.
Wow there is enough testosterone in some of these posts to drop a transmans voice 2 octaves!
This sounds like a really scary situation, you did the only reasonable thing you could do, removed yourself from it.
No matter what you write, there are always critics! I never said or implied that women are weak. I said I am weak, not all women. Nor did I say that all veterans are hero's. I never called anyone ignorant or stupid. All I am saying is that if you have testosterone in your system, your emotions and reactions will be different than mine. Even your answers are driven by your testosterone. I am sure that someone out there will take these words out of context too.
Bad, Bad Deal all the way around, I would have bailed to it's not worth it. Just another DUMMY in a SEA of DUMMIES. That think everything is Black and White because this certain Problem does not pertain to them directly.
FEAR,,FEAR, (ANGER ) is a natural reaction to FEAR ! He feared YOU, Remember that, So when some Bone Head does it again just remember they fear you not the other way around.
An if it EVER gets to Crazy appeal to woman close by you an tell someone to call the Cops,9 times outta 10 the Bone head will Run away because of the fear of Cops. I would nave just moved to another table or asked the manager to do something, Embarass Him back.
It's not all that important to them really, Just trying to show off an prove his Man Hood anyway. Bet he had Pink Panties on just like you. Friggen SUPER MAN complex I'll bet. Most of those Sissies will cry like a Little Girl when the Cops get there !
Josephine,
I believe you did imply that women are weak, but I don't want to belabor the point... I do agree that your reaction was appropriate and that no-one has the right to tell anyone how to react. I doubt my answers were driven by testosterone because I've been on spiro for almost 9 months and my T levels are waaaay down.
It's tough being TS. It really is. So it helps to develop a somewhat thicker skin to deal with the problems life will throw at us.
Give me a break!!!!
He is unable to see you. He has spent the last several years in a testosterone-laden, competitive, unforgiving environment. He doesn't know any better.
Credit him like the limited-view child he is. If it were some 10 year old saying that, you wouldn't feel threatened. The difference is his level of physical threat.
You have EVERY RIGHT to be who you are, and no jarhead can take that away. Some of our soldiers go out there and never come back, they treat the whole world like it was the battlefield. They are deluded and wrong.
He went out there to protect your right to wear that dress, (though he may not have been thinking about it t hat way) and to preserve your right to be yourself. He is just too close to it to see it.
I feel bad for him.
- MM
Last edited by mechamoose; 05-31-2015 at 07:37 AM.
- Madame Moose - on my way to Anne
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"I yam what I yam and tha's all what I yam." -- Popeye the Sailor
"If I am not for myself, who will be for me? And when I am for myself, what am 'I'? And if not now, when?" - Hillel the Elder
So I have read all the way through this thread. There was some good advice and bad. You now know these people are out there. It is real. Some people would rather see us dead than have to see us at all. Each and every time you walk out the door, know they are out there. Have a plan for your safety each time you step out the door.
As always, Jorja, the voice of reason
Listen carefully to what is said, quite often you can hear what is not being said
The joy of correcting a mistake can bring pain to another
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