Is there a dead end to crossdressing?

[adrienner99]

Do you sometimes feel that crossdressing has a dead end? You've spent hundreds, probably low thousands buying women's clothes over the years. You've gone out in public, at times felt comfortable, but you know you don't pass. You've explored where you are on the CD spectrum and found it a hard thing to pinpoint. You yearn to be feminine but are sure, at least pretty sure you are not TS. You take photos of yourself dressed up; if you're very lucky you find a GG or other CD to be good friends....is that it? Is that as far as most of us will take this obsession?

I am thinking it is kind of like being a serious runner. You've achieved your personal best time at some distance. You aren't going to surpass it. But you still love to run.....and I still love to dress. Maybe that is enough...

[ShayLeigh Dominique]

Right now, I don't think it's ever about the "destination", but about the journey. Once upon a time, I used to love to run. I ran for the sheer sake of running. Not to outpace anyone, not to beat some "personal best", but because the feel of feet against pavement and wind in face felt like... Felt like flying, I guess... I didn't like to compete with others, the measuring sticks were all wrong. I ran because running was good.
Does (or can) crossdressing do that for you?

Just to clarify, I am not trying to equate "running" and "crossdressing". It was intended as an example of something I used to do simply for the sake of itself. I didn't run to go anywhere, I ran because the sheer act itself was pleasurable.

If I were going to make analogies, I'd go with Katie's... It is art. Creative and delightful. It is a symphony in form and fashion, every movement part of a dance which creates the music to which it moves... It is the pleasure of being both wired and peaceful, excited yet perfectly still... It is delight of self, and self awareness. Abstract AND concrete...

Dichotomous to say the least.

[justmetoo]

No dead end for me, because I'm not going somewhere with this. I'm just being me. For me it's not a destination or journey so much as it's self-expression. If that makes sense.

[AKKaren]

Sigh....This is about how I feel too. You reach a point in your life where you just strike a balance and be at peace with your life.

[Andrea Renea]

I don't see an end. Soon to be 58 years old. More comfortable in my life than ever.

Maybe when I get too old remember I'm a crossdresser.

[lostinmyworldcd]

As shallow as I may sound ..... I think there might be a dead end for some of us .....

I envy you girls that can easily pull off passing as female .....

I don't think I will ever be able to ..... sigh

If I had been born with more girly features ......

I probably would have crossed over ...... long ago

[cheryl reeves]

to me its about the journey and exploring,not the end game,for the only end to this is either transition or death

[Rachael Leigh]

Great question and for me when it's to this point where it's made a mess of a relationship its like what now? I've made the mess so do I just accept the mess or stop dressing and move on with life

[kimdl93]

For me, no. The end has never been to pass nor to complete a CD bucket list. The end is in being myself, feeling I synch inside and out.

[Pat]

You've gone out in public, at times felt comfortable, but you know you don't pass.

Maybe the issue is trying to pass. You're not a woman, you know you're not a woman -- why are you trying make people think you're a woman? If you accept that you're a man, then accept that you're a crossdressed man and a lot of tension rolls off. Interact with people as a crossdressed man who is in control of his life and is happy with it -- most people have never seen such a creature and there's a chance they'll be delighted to know you exist. And maybe you'll be delighted to know you exist as well.

I am thinking it is kind of like being a serious runner. You've achieved your personal best time at some distance. You aren't going to surpass it. But you still love to run.....and I still love to dress. Maybe that is enough...

So there you've answered your own question, right? It's not a dead end. You still love it.

[Katey888]

It is a thoughtful question...

I don't think it's like running - to me it's more like a combination of listening to music and a creative art... I like to listen to all types of music, some I come back to again and again, and I'll often discover new stuff that I like... but it has no end objective and I will still keep doing it until I drop dead or go deaf! <Pardon?>

The creative part is more about discovering other outlets and ways of doing something - I could spend a long time messing with makeup and different wigs, and have done... I have spent a long time doing this solo, and then I went out... maybe I'll spend some more time solo and then go out a bit more, try something different... I like the idea that this is about self-expression - for me it is definitely about 'self' and trying to find that indefinable other part that makes my being whole and harmonious...

I sometimes get the feeling that the forum can instill a kind of accepted flowchart for us: find the forum - take pictures - practice some more - bin the mini-skirts - get blendable - get out! - do clubs - do shopping - do hormones... OK - maybe not so far... It's easy to be sucked into wanting to emulate the 'successes' we hear about but then we've lost sight of what is right for us as individuals... It's that self-acceptance, self-fulfilment and self-actualisation that's important for me... that we're all doing what we feel is right and balanced and not just 'keeping up with the Janes's', pardon the pun, and with due deference to any Janes..

Don't take this wrong, but it helps to step back from this forum on a regular basis and get some individual grounding...

Katey x

[carhill2mn]

I don't see an "end". For me it is continuing to enjoy as much of my life en femme as I can.

[Sandie70]

As Cheryl said in the thread: it's about the journey. And as far as wanting to pass? Maybe I never will, but the fun of it all for me is to get as close to that as I can - and to relish all that happens as I work to do this. Inch by inch I work toward that goal.

And I think having a goal is very important... even if it's one that may seem to be impossible. You latch on to your goal and then enjoy the trip. And frankly, I don't see how I will ever run out of things to discover about crossdressing, or myself. Like an onion, I strip away some revelation or discovery only to find more waiting for me.

No, I don't think the journey will ever end... at least until I stop breathing.

[Dana44]

I dont think there is one for me. I have many things on the bucket list to go and accomplish.

[Adriana Moretti]

there was a time i feLT I hit a dead end with crossdressing. There is only so many times you can dress up in your closet and prance around the mirror before you turn into a hermit. I got lonely, and bored with that and felt it was time to get OUT of the closet , and socialize and meet others like myself in person. At times...even THAT has had its fill lately...there is only so many times you can go to the SAME places & see the same faces , so I try to get out further, and meet as many new people, and go to as many new places as I can....I just keep saying " Ok...whats next? Looks like next weekend will be Philly....I have not been there yet.....Detroit in July.....and hopefully Fire Island for the 4th of July too.....keep it interesting

[ShayLeigh Dominique]

Scotti,

If you look, you will find that there are GGs out there who look far worse in a dress than you do... The art of femininity (and it is an art) is to accentuate the positive and deemphasize the negative. Supermodels (VS Angels in particular) don't look very impressive without makeup... If you can find the right clothes to flatter your figure and the right makeup style to emphasize the good and deemphasize the bad you will look and feel a whole lot better about yourself and your presentation.

Just remember, no matter whether you believe you "can" or "can't" you are always right...

[pamela7]

bin the mini-skirts

Sacrilege, Katey!!! While I might not wear them to go to the shops, at home they're lush!

As to the OP, is this a dead-end (and an acceptance of enjoying what is)? I never knew the direction when it began, there are no roads here, yes I've settled into an accomodation and life now has to go on.

[Kaitlyn Michele]

the idea that there is a progression is wrong..i

maybe people find out more and more who they are but you are who you are the whole time...

how can finding that out for yourself be a dead end?? as a ts person finding out and living as myself was a holy grail.



i

[Kandi Robbins]

Well put and certainly something I've thought about.

I don't think I am anything more than a crossdresser as I do not wish to dress more frequently than I do. I have begun to structure my life to allow for a weekly or bi-weekly opportunity to get dressed and put myself in comfortable positions. It's not different than my everyday life. If I felt like stopping somewhere to grab a beer and watch a game, there are certain places I would not go and others where I would feel quite comfortable. Same here. Now if I were or become something more than a crossdresser, than it could be considered a dead end into something else. Transitioning or depression or something else. Not sure, but I don't think I'm headed that way. Despite the fact that I have been out in public only a few months, this has been a lifelong struggle and I think I have finally wrestled it into a situation that best suits me.

To use your analogy about running (which I also do), as I age, I'll make changes, adapt, lose interest, ramp up, who knows? All I know is that right now, I have never been happier with ME and my life in general and admitting who I am has been the catalyst. That and a loving and accepting wife and the two greatest children I could ever have hopes and prayed for. Life is good right now, and this type of introspection is helpful.

[CynthiaD]

In the beginning, you learn a lot of new things, and have a lot of new experiences. But eventually this will come to an end. This doesn't mean you've come to a dead end. It means you've "graduated" from the learning phase to the "living your life" phase. So, go out and start living!

[justmetoo]

I guess for some of us crossdressing is a sport and for others of us it's an art. (just being lighthearted here; I don't mean to imply those are the only options)
I'm in the artist camp, but strictly amateur.

[larry]

I agree--When I am dead I will stop..

[Robin777]

I don't see an end. Soon to be 58 years old. More comfortable in my life than ever.

Maybe when I get too old remember I'm a crossdresser.

I'm with Andrea. I am also soon turning 58 this year. I enjoy it too much to stop. If I get so old and I can't remember anymore what I am doing,then I will probably stop.

[Mink]

I agree--When I am dead I will stop..

not even death will stop me!

[TrishaTX]

Personally, I never tried to pass, I think I look good. I love the way it feels especially in the bedroom. I am satisfied of how this has turned out and happier now then ever. The more my wife accepts it the better I feel. It took a long time to get here.