I came here to this site to ask questions and wished to be enlightened. Is it weird for a guy to think about such trivial things and not have a full understanding on life?
This will be pretty long thread as I will mention my experiences in life , though partially in relation.
When I say dressing I mean to basic levels , not trying to change appearance in any way. I see females get called tomboy , cute , or nothing at all.
If a guy does it they are often seen as weird , disgusting , trying to start a fad to etc. You could probably guess all the other things said to these individuals.
I see celebrity guys often pull it off but they are well off and have support in their endeavors , which could be any for that matter. Where I am , I'd fear getting beat up or becoming victim of other acts. I would also be burning a lot of bridges with people in my family and with people that once thought I was just the average guy. It wouldn't just fly with people , they would want me to be emitted to see some therapist to see why I am trying to express myself this way...
What got me thinking about this is that there is a part of my life where I started doing some crossdressing but only in secret. I explored all the way to partially to just putting on the clothes. Keep in mind this was 10 years ago and I have my reasons for stopping for good. I was a kid during it all , earned more money than I needed at my age or older from doing odd jobs to mowing lawns. My downfall was I didn't grasp the concept of privacy and wasn't as entitled to it as I once thought. When I was caught , I was going home from school like regular day and whole family(immediate family) was gathered and stuff was lying on ground in front of them. I got the long talk about the "gay" and that I am hetero male and shouldn't confuse myself as anything otherwise. I felt broken and ashamed knowing that I was getting picked on/ridiculed by cousins/the adults for years to come. I wasn't gonna leave this coming out the closet outing/moment alive with different opinions than them. I had to leave moment with a lie. I wasn't going say that "guys can wear what they want and be straight". That was route that would lead me into therapy and the doctor giving me look for having such an answer. I cut my losses and played the "I am a kid and don't know any better card." I said that I was going through "puberty" , "these clothes had a nice smell to them" and "that I got it from a girl at school". I didn't disclose any names and spoke that I have some honor and this is about me. They accepted that answer but life didn't go back to normal for quite some time and even now I still feel off around them. I am extremely lucky that they didn't follow up on the "mystery person."
What destroyed me the most was that my mom didn't talk to me first and made it everyones business. They aren't as close to me as they think if I wouldn't give them the light of day and talk to them at all about it. You can't expect someone to be open minded if they want to hear only the conventional answers that they are looking for.
But I guess life is what it is and some things can't be changed about it?
Anyway , I would appreciate all answers and views here , so lay it on me.