Has anyone else felt that you need to show someone what you look like when dressed? My fiancée knows I crossdress but doesn't really like it or speak about it. She knows about my make up and wardrobe which are not hidden. I feel the urge building for someone to see me but want it to be her. Any suggestions?
I totally relate! I think there's an inate need to expose our true selves , especially to those we love most. We need to be who we really are. I feel most alive when dressed as a woman with my wife. Know who you are! Like who you are ! Be who you are!
I think we all want to be seen all dressed up. My advice would be to take it slow. If she knows about you and is still willing to marry you, then it will either be dadt or she will slowly come around. The best thing is that you have already told her. Be patient, let her decide if and when she wants to see you.
It's essentially an expression of yourself and after a while I find you need to express it to others, otherwise it wouldn't be a problem
It is a pretty normal ting to want to be seen by others and pretty normal to want to involve ones SO.
BUT BUT BUT ... you have to carefully think through this before you take the next step. Always consider what she cannot "unsee" you later! The image of you dressed as a woman will stay in her mind forever and cannot be erased nomatter how hard you try. It might change everything in your relationship.
If she has already let you know that she doesnt like it and dont want to talk about it, I think it is much too early to force her see you in girl mode.
I think you should first work on getting to a point where you can talk about what this means to you, what you like about it and how it makes you feel. See if you can get her to talk about why she doesnt like this about you! Find out what fears or concerns she might have and then address that with her. She most likely have a very different impression of what this is, than what you have.
Try not to let your emotions make you do something you will later regret. Take slow steps and constantly judge how she reacts to it.
Good luck!
Suzie
Yes, that's why we go out and post pics online. But it's not a good idea to show someone who knows but doesn't want to see. If you do, you're just thinking of yourself. Don't show her unless/until she asks.
I think mostly because we want to be loved for who we are. However, given the choice between being loved for who I ain't, and no love at all, I'd take the former.Originally Posted by Suzie Petersen
THis goes back to the theory of first impressions. People are attracted to each other not by who the other person actually is, but by what they THINK that person is. Stories of women married to men for 30 years happily and then finding out he cheated on her 25 years ago and then divorcing him because 'he's not the man I thought he was' aren't uncommon. Another, easier example. A guy saves a woman from another man who's bothering her. Bad guy challenges him to put up or shut up, and now having his manhood on the line, they go outside to fight. The white knight guy isn't a good fighter, and is significantly smaller than the bully. They leave, the bully walks out and slips on grease, hitting his head, passing out. Girl comes out a few seconds later, seeing white knight standing over bully, embraces him, impressed. White knight doesn't have the heart to tell what really happened, doesn't want to stick around, and so takes girl away from scene. At some point they get together and wind up getting married. Ten years go by. They're on vacation, bully is there and recognizes him, comes over yells at him about cheating and drags him out, beating the crap out of him. Wife now knows what really happened, and no longer sees her hubby as the brave warrior, and is disappointed. Take that up a few notches and you have what happens when a woman is faced with the fact that her SO is a sissy. Doesn't matter if you're not. The image she has of you dressed up trying to be a cute girl is firmly planted in her mind. Few women are going to be sexually turned on by that image, worse, they're turned OFF, and that can be permanent. Once set in, you'll never change that, and marriage is essentially over, because women want romance, and if you're no longer the object of her lust, some other guy will be, and once the lust is gone, so is the love. You'll become like a brother, and HE will become new boyfriend, it's only a matter of time. So don't push it. If she wants to see you dressed, decide then. but you're playing with fire. Be very, very careful, as you can drastically change your entire life forever by making one mistake. [/QUOTE]Always consider what she cannot "unsee" you later! The image of you dressed as a woman will stay in her mind forever and cannot be erased nomatter how hard you try. It might change everything in your relationship.
Last edited by sometimes_miss; 06-05-2015 at 08:12 PM.
Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.
You can not force her to want this. If you do, you are more likely to lose her.
If you want people to see you, go out.
acceptance every human wants it only about .09% get it lol! we live in a crazy world
Ask her and then listen to her.
Ok, let's get to the heart of the matter. Your fiancé and you need to talk...
Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one.
Eleanor Roosevelt
Like a few people have said you really need to get communicating before a reveal. If she's not really comfortable talking about your femme side, she is almost undoubtedly going to be really unhappy about seeing you presenting your female persona. I'm sure she has real fears, and strong emotions that you need to understand together before taking this step. My wife has only seen me dressed up a couple of times to try things on, and only in pictures with full makeup, hair, jewelry etc. We talk a lot about my crossdressing, shopping, fashion etc, but as another post says she needs to decide when she is ready to see what can't be unseen.
My GF knows what I look like en femme. She's been to the club with me dancing.
Second star to the right and straight on till morning
Kate, You are oh so fortunate, to have met a lady like you are seeing! So very rare, indeed. Some of us will go to our graves, and never meet such a single lady!
I have a DADT relationship with my wife in regard to crossdressing. When I have opportunities, I go out crossdressed. That allows me to satisfy my need to be seen as Sabrina. I would not present myself as a female unless she made that request.
Love, Sabrina
I'm with the others. You don't want to impose yourself on someone who is not ready, it can backfire. If you want to be seen dressed, you can join a support group. This is a good way to ease into going out in public.
If, on the other hand, you feel you do need to dress in front of your fiancée in order to be happy and you need to do this soon, then you might reconsider your engagement or at least let her know that her refusal to see you dressed does not bode well for the future.
Ultimately though, if she doesn't like it, you cannot make her like it and it is best to know this before entering a lifelong commitment.
Reine
Thanks for your replies and advice folks. Maybe I am getting a little carried away and need to realise this may never happen. Where I live there is nowhere to go out and the locals wouldn't really take to a guy in a dress all that well so it has to be kept at home or in hotel rooms when away. Recently my fiancée has been asking what I think about her make up and opinions on what she is wearing, more than she used to. And the other day when I said I was away to do something she replied "you go girl" but not in a sarcastic tone more like a playful one. I don't know if she is slowly coming around to it or not. After the last time we spoke about it I said we wouldn't talk anymore until she was ready to so can't really get the answer right now. Apart from everything we are still madly in love and she assures me of this daily. The wedding plans are also in full swing!
It looks as though you're handling this properly, Peach. There are a lot of stories on this forum about the CD going too far too fast and destroying the acceptance they had.
It's up to the two of you to talk honestly when something is unclear.
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