Finding being Jean completely normal

[Jean 103]

At this point I find being out as Jean completely normal. I no longer feel uncomfortable in awkward situations. I do remember what it feels like to be afraid to get out of the car and walk in to a store. Last Thursday was karaoke night at the bar. I’m a little tired, got home late from work and not feeling like going out. I was thinking of a recent post about a pair of animal print shoes and that I have a pair of leopard print pumps that I have only wore as part of a costume I put together. I start looking for what might work, thinking of black leggings and come across a skirt I like and have never worn. I pull out a top, light sweater that match and a pair of nude pumps, yes this outfit screams stockings which I usually don’t wear, but I put them on anyway. The skirt is long and the outfit is something you could wear to church. I finish it off with gold press on nails and black purse not wanting to be too matchee. Get to the bar, there a big crowd, I don’t see anyone I know. The bartender is in the back, Ms. S comes out, says HI and reaches into the cooler for my usual lite beer, I wave no she comes over and I order a rum and diet coke in a tall glass, I have decided this will do two things, I will drink less and a girl has to watch her weight. I sit at the only empty table, the bar is full. It’s about 10:30, after a couple minutes Little Jo walks in says Hi Jean, goes and gets a drink, returns and climbs up on a stool at my table. Jo is only like four foot barely taller than a bar stool, she is a little doll. She said she just had to get out, she asks where is everyone, well in a short time a couple other girls arrive and a guy. Now it’s a party, we are singing, talking and just having too much fun. This is why I come here. So this new girl I haven’t met, the others know her and think she is a little too much and she is. Well she is holding hands with me across the table telling me I have to let go and stuff, she is drunk, I’m thinking it is because how I’m dressed. I normally wear low cut tops, short skirts and the like. Latter she tells me she would like to get me into her closet and dress me in some of her dresses, that I would look better than her in them. I probably would as she is a bit overweight, hey don’t bag on me, the girl sitting next to me commented on how big her belly was. She likes to sing and has a new car, I’m thinking Vegas Baby. I have been thinking lately of getting some of the girls together and going to see Frank at the piano bar. The problem is we will need a bus if everyone wants to go. After closing I had already decided I would go to subway as it is now open 24hours, the only other place in this town to go is J in the box and that is getting old. Across the parking lot is W-Mart it too is open 24hours. I need a few thinks and go there first. The store is empty, well it is full of employees restocking the shelves. Here’s a twist in the middle of shopping I’m in the shoe aisle, I know nothing new. I need a new pair of shoes for work, steel toe, like a tennis shoe style. So I’m dress girl mode trying on guy shoes. The shoe I like, there is as they say one for her, the same shoe with a pink lining and it is five dollars less. They have a size 11 (women’s) my size. I try it on and it fits, at first I tried to put on the right shoe but couldn’t because the security thing would not let me adjust the shoe lace. I try on the left one, it fits and in the basket they go. I finish my shopping and go to the checkout. It’s W-Mart I have some girl things (blush, panties, bra), shoes and a few food items. I’m leaving the store and the security alarm goes off. I usually ignore this when this happens but an employee comes over and asks for my receipt. I hand it to him, he is looking in the basket and I remember the shoes. I open the box and there is the tag, the clerk hadn’t removed. He ask if I wouldn’t mind waiting while he has it removed. I tell him it is fine and I can wait. This is the point I want to make. In the past I would have been sweating bullets, and upset. Now it doesn’t bother me at all, hey it happens, just part of life no big deal. Subway for a breakfast sandwich and coffee. A couple hours of sleep, go to work in my new shoes and no one noticed. This is now small my world is and why I felt I had to tell my boss and the secretary. I found out yesterday they both know Ms. Jo. At the end of the day I returned to the office to put stuff away, I’m talking to the secretary point out my new shoes, she’s like so ok, I mentioned about putting together a Vegas trip with the girls and she said she would like to go, what I wasn't inviting her. And then she says something about next she will be seeing me at church. I didn’t tell her what I was wearing. Her birthday is a couple weeks and she said she would like to meet me at the bar for a couple of shots. It will be Thursday Karaoke night, I’m thinking birthday party, and making sure all the girls are there. If I wasn’t living this I would not believe this is my life.
Love Jean

At this point in my life I don’t know what I am and I don’t care, I’m just having too much fun.

Ok for those who may not follow my posts, when I refer to girls above they are all GG. I'm the only one that is not.

[Barbara Black]

Keep it up until you drain all the fun out of it!! LOL

[Jean 103]

Short update still having too much fun
Last night I went out, nothing new about that, but I did wear my leopard pumps. I put on some shape wear, I usually don’t wear any, corset pulled as tight as I can take with a butt pad and another shape ware over the top to hide and smooth things out. Black leggings, red tank top, all skin tight and a black jacket. I has playing pool with Mr. D I won. These two cute girls challenged the table. We played them in a game of doubles. We won of course, Mr. D and I weren't taking the easy shots just to make it fair. No that's not the reason, OK they are cute and fun that's the reason. The one girl looks like Marisa Tomei the actress, too bad she was there with her husband, he was like passed out at the bar. Here is something I love about being a girl. Girls get real close when talking in a noisy bar, there was a band last night, I mean like pushing up against you close. I didn't tell Mr. D but the girls probably thought he was my boyfriend as we are close, as we didn't have a chance with them and they were leaving I didn't see any reason to tell them any different. Mr. D like most guys is clueless, if he knew he would be, not mad but, well let’s say not happy. Her friend I had to tell that I loved her shoes, black strappy sandals with four inch heels and silver studs on the straps. She told me she was had them for like four years and had only worn them a couple of times.
Like always Ms. K thru everyone out but me. I stay and talk while she and Mr. M the bouncer clean/close up. Oh, Ms. K is a lifeguard at this beach to the south. I asked her if I go out there like today and I’m like drowning will she swim out and save me. She said no she will send the new guy out that she will be sleeping in the tower. I told her if that’s the case I’m going to Pismo Beach instead. LOL She did say if I came out she would surf with me. I know we would have fun but and it is a big one, I surf in guy mode and I don't want her to see me that way. I know it is silly, that's just the way I feel.
Love Jean