Do you know how boring your life is?

[CarlaWestin]

This is sorta' to my wife. Do you really think that this crossdressing thing is like an unnecessary malignancy on my persona? I look at your life and the pursuits that turn into just laborious tasks that have to be ground out and I just don't see the ROI (return on investment) factor. At least, not compared to my gendering. And, you want me to conform to that? Damn! Just let me dress up for the occasion and I'll just be totally onboard. I just want to be comfortable but, not in your societal religio filter. We all just want to travel life in the channels of less turbulence.

Honey, I'm just a crossdresser. Just be my friend. You're already my wife and I've validated that I'm a quality provider.

Just let me live, already.

[krissy]

I know that feeling .I have gone through this for al my 36 year marrage Just hang in there

[deebra]

Carla, she's finding fault and criticizing why you would want to crossdress when she does it to be clothed and accepted when going out in society; she just can't get it that it's more for you, it's pleasurable, stress relieving, feels good, the fun of being feminine and so much more. If only she could change her thinking to see what's required of her is immense pleasure for you. She probially hates to wear a bra all day and it's a turnon for you, it's such a job to get dressed for her but more and more pleasure as you dress. Women, we try to be like them but just don't understand them????????????????

[Teresa]

Carla,
I could add so much to what you've written , I may not have said in that way but the meaning would be the same !

Sometimes I don't know what validates us as husbands, I appeared to have ticked all the boxes, oh sorry there's more on the next page how silly of me to miss those, maybe I'm going senile ! I failed to tick that box !!

[ReineD]

This is sorta' to my wife. ... I look at your life and the pursuits that turn into just laborious tasks that have to be ground out and I just don't see the ROI (return on investment) factor. At least, not compared to my gendering. And, you want me to conform to that?

I'm sorry if your wife finds no joy in her life (if this is what you meant), but please know there are lots of people who do not crossdress and whose lives aren't just filled with boredom. In other words, people don't need to crossdress in order to gain enjoyment and satisfaction out of life.

I'm not suggesting you shouldn't find joy in CDing, but you are making judgments on people who aren't like you and putting them in a box. You did say this was addressed not specifically, but "sorta" to your wife, which implies other non-CDers too?

Back to your wife, if she is that unhappy then maybe the two of you need to sort that out? In any case, I'm sorry that you are having marital issues.

[sometimes_miss]

As much as I'm not happy with the way women feel about their SO's crossdressing, I do understand it. Our sexual identity is key to the mating process, and once you mess with that, it can cause all kinds of problems. Some women won't even complain out loud about it; they'll just let it fester, and then express their discontent about all sorts of other things instead, feeling that to complain about crossdressing would be politically incorrect, and they don't want to be seen as insensitive. As long as she's still with you, give her a break. Because as I've written here many times before, you've hit the crossdresser lottery; maybe not the jackpot, but at least if she's with you, that's something. There's a line of crossdressers a thousand miles long waiting to find a woman who will even tolerate having one of us as a mate.

Find the silver lining in the cloud.

[Kate Simmons]

Everyone's life can have real meaning. It's just a matter of perspective.

[sometimes_miss]

As I was sitting on my porch waiting for my pizza, my landlord's wife was outside taking her niece and nephews out. Out of curiosity, I asked her what her hobbies were. She said, and I quote, "My family is my hobby". I think we tend to forget sometimes just how relationship driven women's lives are. And a lot of women at work seem to be the same way. They get together with other women and talk about their family. That's it. That's their whole life. Guys have stuff we do outside of work and family. Most women don't seem to. Carla, YOU are the focal point of her life. That's why it's such a big deal.

[MelanieAnne]

Marriage is not a natural situation, and it goes against nature. Marriage is societies rules and laws to protect children and the family. I'm always amused by the magazines at the supermarket checkout counters. It's all about "What women want" or "What women need". Never about mens needs or wants.

[Sara Jessica]

As I was sitting on my porch waiting for my pizza, my landlord's wife was outside taking her niece and nephews out. Out of curiosity, I asked her what her hobbies were. She said, and I quote, "My family is my hobby". I think we tend to forget sometimes just how relationship driven women's lives are. And a lot of women at work seem to be the same way. They get together with other women and talk about their family. That's it. That's their whole life. Guys have stuff we do outside of work and family. Most women don't seem to. Carla, YOU are the focal point of her life. That's why it's such a big deal.

Your posts come from a point of view that can sometimes come across as being on the cynical side (see #6 above)...and I totally get where you're coming from. However, this one here has to be the most astute thing you've written. You nailed it. Those of us with SO's, the reality is that to them this thing of ours is just another "thing" we do. Well done!!!

[JessicaJHall]

Elvis is in all of us.

[ReineD]

It's all about "What women want" or "What women need". Never about mens needs or wants.

MelanieAnne, have a look here:

http://lmgtfy.com/?q=what+men+want

There are tons of articles in women's magazines about the same thing.


To SometimesMiss & Sara Jessica, my life also was all about my family when my kids were young. It had to be. And other than work, it was the same for my ex husband. But now they're grown and my life is my own again. I dare say the same is true for my ex.