The Forum made me do it?

[Hell on Heels]

Hell-o Donna,
As you mentioned, this is not a race.
But seeing what others have done ahead of you
it's easy to say "I want that", and the process of getting
the point that we are comfortable enough to "do that" is often
times sped up.
Reguardless, you are here, you are participating, and your doing
what seems right to you, for you.

And Katey, it wasn't me that coined the term "FIC" (forum induced courage"
I first saw that used in a reply to a post about being comfortable. That reply
came from Wildaboutheels. I'm not sure if Wild came up with it, or if had been used before.
My thread was adapted from that, and was about "FIG" forum induced guilt.
Much Love,
Kristyn

[Jorja]

Yes, it is all this forum's fault. I was such a level headed responsible person before the forum. Now I wake up with boobies, a vagina, and get to dress 24/7 as a woman. I got those ideas from the forum. Oh wait, this forum wasn't around in 1980. Damn, now I got to find something else to blame it on. I know, maybe it was the fruit at breakfast time!

[Barbara Jo]

This forum is sort of a confirmation of the validity of your CDing so, of course it has to have some influence at some level.

In this respect it is no different than the audio forum which specializes in turntables and vinyl records that I frequent......which is a passion of mine.

iI's just human nature to seek acceptance for the things we do and forums, no matter what the topic, give us that acceptance .

[SandraB]

I think the forum has made a huge difference for me. First and foremost, I felt normal. Beyond that it has and continues to help me reflect, stimulate ideas and provides varied perspecitves to consider. Without the fourm, I'd have no external stimulation.

[alwayshave]

Donna, Of course the forum made me do it. I came to this forum to find other like minded individuals and share my experiences and learn from theirs. Their experiences gave me courage because if they could do it so could I.

[Eryn]

Oh yes, the forum is totally responsible for everything i did!

Well, let me qualify that. The forum provided me with information and contacts. It introduced me to ideas and people that I otherwise wouldn't have encountered or would have encountered at a later time.

Now, what I did with that information is completely my own responsibility. I was free to do with it what I wanted.

[Hell on Heels]

Hell-o again Donna,
I've thought about this thread a lot today, and the way most members
had responded to it.
It's like your in a strange house. You wake in the middle of the night, and find that you have to pee!
The power is out, and everything is dark so you cautiously find your way to the bathroom. So now your in the bathroom, everything is still dark, but you know your gonna do what you came there to do.
Now you need to find that toilet. Feeling your way through the bathroom. you finally locate that thrown.
You take a feel, just to make sure that seat is down, you turn, and ever so cautiously take a seat.
You finish the task, what a sense of relief, but you still need to find the toilet paper roll, and then locate that tightly wrapped end of the roll.
Eventuly your done, and just as cautiously as you made your way there, you head back to your bed.
Imagine how much easier this all would have been if the lights were on!
That's exactly what this forum does, it shines a little light on those tasks we want to do, and makes it so much easier than finding our own way.
Then again it just might be the fruit!
Much Love,
Kristyn

[Jenny Elwood]

Finding your way to the toilet in the dark is a daily occurrence in my country. They even coined a name for it: Load Shedding!

And Jorja, you are a (real(ly funny)) fruitcake in and of yourself, you don't need any external inspiration!

[Hell on Heels]

Jenny, have you considered sleeping with a flashlight readily available?
And setting aside a few neatly folded stacks of toilet paper may help too!
But as with everything... familiarity, and confidence will always get the job done!
Much Love,
Kristyn

[Donnagirl]

Thanks everyone, there does seem to be a general consensus, some unique variables but many threads of commonality.
I think Kirstyn has really hit the nail on the head though. The forum lights the way, stops us stumbling in the dark, saves us from metaphoric scraped shins along our journey but also can leave us grasping for something soft and absorbent.....

[Raychel]

The forum made me do it all.

Before the forum I was complete hidden from the world. Just sneaking around.
The forum has given me the courage to come out to y wife and kids,
It has moved me from filling bras with whatever padding I could find.
to taking the step for breast forms.

Taken to the step of buying the pretty dresses I like.

It has also given me some great life long friends.
Non of which I would trade for the world.

[Sarah-RT]

I'd agree that the forum can cause two emotions, for me personally anyway, courage, with regard to "if they can do it, so can I" it's good to know that we are not alone, that there are accepting people in the world and that the bedroom/closet does not have to be our only refuge. Many of the things I have done such as bought a wig and forms I probably wouldn't have thought about unless I stumbled upon it online, I used to just throw on any old thing and that filled my desires but the forum has helped me grow physically into a better version but also mentally in the sense of not thinking badly about myself or reducing that level at least.

I also experience shame or guilt after reading some threads however, whether they be someone's bad experience etc and the purge alarm starts flashing.

I think that the idea of doing something you feel is right because you are influenced from here can be a concern, as a crossdresser I obviously want to emulate women as best as possible, I get disappointed because my physical shape does not support clothing correctly and when I'm fully dressed I have such a comfortable vibe. I was confused for some time about whether I was just a CD or if I would become a TS, influenced slightly from here for various reasons but ultimately no one can deter or persuade a different identity in you, it's really something you have to figure out for yourself.
Through several experiences recently I now know I am simply a CD and I enjoy being male even if the pink fog or other events make me feel different at the time.

[Teresa]

Donna,
It's an interesting question !
It's makes me think back before joining, my dressing and makeup was going OK mainly because I could take and print my own photos , I had been out for drives and an evening walk but not taken up shaving body parts . I had shopped for underwear, clothes and shoes and visited some very iffy shops !
The forum has awakened the fact that CDing is for life , I've grown to accept myself far more, much of the shame and guilt has gone.
If anything the forum members have emphasised the implications of not being careful when coming out and going out in society ! One aspect that I never imagined before joining was showing pictures of myself, whether it made me do it or not is questionable but I'm glad I have . It's helped with my own acceptance and given a clear message to others of the depth of my CDing .
The forum has helped find myself , it's the acceptance of others that's the hard part !