Life getting weird.

[Tracii G]

I have a good male friend that ever since the Bruce Jenner thing broke in the news has gone off the deep end.
He thinks Caitlyn is a joke plus he sends me anti gay/trans emails thinking its humorous.
He even cancelled his Netflix account because they sponsered a gay pride event.
He has never said a mean word to me ever and we do a lot of guy things together. Never even commented on how I dress which isn't normal guy clothes by a long shot.
Never said anything about the fact I keep clear nail polish on my nails.Have both ears pierced and wear hoops or studs with different colors.
Never says anything if I wear a barrette holding my pony tail or a pink hair tie even.
Is he too close to even see the trans signs in me that I put out?
In the 2 years I have been hanging out with this guy and 5 or 6 other guys and one female, I have always dressed this way and nothing out of the ordinary happened and never been called by him a "homofagqueer." (his word not mine).
Anyway Its a really weird position to be in.

[Nadine Spirit]

I agree. I am in a similar circumstance. I think they can't connect "that" to us. To them "that" is something so far removed from thier world that they can'teven see "it" right in front of them.

Truly very weird.

[FeliciaCDSNJ]

I've been in a similar circumstance and the position that we get put in can be quite awkward. Normally, just let it ride and see if their blinders come off because then you can tell if they are true friends or fake ones.

[Tracii G]

Maybe so Nadine.
Felicia thats what I am going to do for now.

[Adriana Moretti]

Thats pretty interesting........they say that people do not understand us because most people dont know a transgender/cd....its amazing how many people DO know a transgender /cd ...they just dont know it. Not that I am saying you should out yourself ....but alot of the ignorance is based on lack of knowledge ...I wonder how they would react if they did know someone so close to them was one of us

[OCCarly]

Since I married my wife 15 years ago I have been living with one foot planted very firmly in the gay community. Her youngest brother is gay, and she has several close friends who are -- which makes for an interesting mix at our parties. I have only had a few incidents so far. Some of my guy friends have not so much shown hostility, as have said, "what's up with that guy?" The guy in question being a makeup artist who looks like an Asian version of Nathan Lane in "The Birdcage," or Hollywood in "Mannequin." And so I usually quietly take them aside and teach a little tolerance.

[Shelly Preston]

Tracii

Could it be he is overcompensating as he my have something to hide. Also he may think its the right thing to do to be see as a rough tough man.

With you he either cant see it or chooses not too.

[Marcelle]

Hi Tracii,

Interesting that he would all of a sudden get all trans/homophobic over one breaking story. Was he always this way or is it a recent behavior? I sometimes wonder if when a person protests so loudly they are in fact hiding something about themselves and all the over the top behavior is just camouflage.

Hugs

Isha

[AllieSF]

Maybe he has other serious issues and this is one way of letting off a little steam. Ask him.

[kimdl93]

Ha gotta wonder what is going on in such a mind. What do they find so troubling? Why invest so much energy in hating someone?

[Katey888]

Is he too close to even see the trans signs in me that I put out?

^^ This, I think Tracii... he probably just sees those as being a bit 'edgy' - but then there is a gulf between Caitlyn and most of us, although being so unaccepting of a transsexual says something about his understanding of any trans* issues or conditions. I guess there are actually a lot of men that feel that way and the whole publicity train around Ms Jenner is catching a lot of air time and bringing these subliminal issues into the foreground.

I'd be the last person to suggest outing oneself, but I'd be tempted to casually bring up some discussion about your overtly feminine aspects and see if he's actually noticed. Keeping quiet in those circumstances would seem really weird...

Katey x

[CarlaWestin]

Jeez, I've noticed the same thing. I've had to unfriend a few on Fbook due to the seethingly hateful nonsense they've been compelled to repost. On the other hand, I get posts that are so far left that I wonder what planet these folks are from. It's just another one of those times to ignore everyone for a while.

[I Am Paula]

Last week I went to a car service center I had not been to since my guy days. At first they did not recognize me at all, then they saw my truck, and put two and two together.
We chatted for a moment about the new me. I said 'You must have seen it coming, I used to wear makeup, carry a purse, and keep my nails painted'. 'Nope, never saw it at all, you've always just been Paul, Harry's son in law'. I think short of a dress, and a tiara, people only notice that which they wish to notice.
BTW- They did congratulate me on the way out

[Erica Marie]

Tracii I do also believe that he is compensating for something. Either that or in his mind he thinks it is ok and some one he knows went off on him about it and now he thinks he needs to follow suit. Sometimes it is peer pressure. So either he is that backwoods that he cant think outside of plain male/female gender roles, or he needs to grow a pair, get a backbone and stand up for peoples rights.

[suchacutie]

To paraphrase Shakespeare, "...me thinks he protesteth too much..."

[ReineD]

Tracii, you're a musician if I recall.

It's a wild guess, but don't people make allowances for the unconventional way that some musicians (and artists) dress? Some musicians wear makeup, nail polish, have long hair, etc, all while not attempting to present like Caitlyn on the Vanity Fair cover. Maybe he's not connecting the way you dress to Jenner's situation, if he knows you as a male. Have you ever confided in him about your gender identity?

[CONSUELO]

Whatever is motivating his nasty reaction at least you have an insight into his personality. Sounds to me that this person is one to be avoided.

[Dana44]

Traci. wow the way people react to different things. I often wonder about people who get caught up in their views. None of those people are hurting him or bothering him. he is just reacting. I think gone are the live and let live days. I grew up in and area that had the term. Don't bother me and I won't bother you. He just may be feeling sissy about himself and over shows his manhood in this way.

[Stephanie47]

My wife and I have a friend, who is married to one of the most bigoted people I know. Now, he is not overly bigoted, but, the most bigoted I know. He always has to say something negative about anyone who is not like himself. If we did not have a relationship with his wife, we'd never have anything to do with him. Over the years I've seen people flip flop on a relationship, when there is a "reveal." The world is full of a@@holes.

Traci, you need to tell this a@@hole to just knock it off!

[Adriana Moretti]

Hi Tracii,

I sometimes wonder if when a person protests so loudly they are in fact hiding something about themselves and all the over the top behavior is just camouflage.

Hugs

Isha

I have to agree....I also get a kick out of reading all the hatefull comments on some of the news articles on the subject....you can see just HOW uneducated people are by saying we are mentally ill, and they get in these x and y chromosone discussions they know nothing about. The comment that really urked me was one in an article about a TG getting pushed on to the train tracks here in NYC...the comment was " Oh...NOW we have to hear about this too".....no honey THIS has been going on, YOU are just learning about our hardships now !!.....another comment was.." Why dont they go back into a closet" ......Really???? Hide a group of people? Shut them out & Pretend they dont exist because YOU dont agree or understand???

[LucyNewport]

The Caitlyn Jenner thing has really brought out the homo/trans phobes to be sure. What your friend is doing seems over the top even for that though. Of all the reasons to ditch Netflix - Pride sponsorship is what does it?

People are funny like that. They can get all wrapped up in an abstract ideology, rail against this group or the other, and not even notice it when their friends represent what they say they are against. Or maybe he just makes an exception for you because he knows you, and you don't pose a threat to his worldview. Or maybe this dude is just overcompensating for something

[Tracii G]

Maybe he is overcompensating? I really don't think so.
He is a very intelligent person and we do agree on political issues. He is a Constitutionalist/conservative very much like I am.
He is a devout Hebrew and we discuss religion quite frequently but its always very nice and he is not pushy about it so the discussions are always fun and entertaining.
Reine you may have a good point because all my friends know I play and work as a roadie/guitar tech.Maybe they see the way I dress as "edgy" so they accept that.
When conversations about gay people come up with this group of friends nothing mean or hateful is said and some even have family/friends that are gay and they accept that too.
I guess I should just play it by ear and not rock the boat too much.Maybe do a little reverse psychology on him.

[STACY B]

I tell ya ,, This whole Jenner thing with all the folks comparing Jenner to Military Hero's an putting stuff on facebook an just commenting about it an generally freaking about the whole thing seems really strange to me? Almost like the ones pointing it out are hidding something? Maybe it's just me ? But Tracy girl you know as good as I do that Trans stuff can be hid REAL DEEP so don't discount your Home boy. lol .
I just think Ye who yells the loudest has the most to hide, So it's just my Two cents,, But I got enough problems myself. That's why I don't sweat the small stuff!

[Gillian Gigs]

There are people out there that would not see the baseball bat until it hits them up the side of the head. Maybe your friend is having a more difficult time ignoring your taste in clothes since the Caitlyn story splashed across the news.

[kimdl93]

I tell ya ,, This whole Jenner thing with all the folks comparing Jenner to Military Hero's an putting stuff on facebook an just commenting about it an generally freaking about the whole thing seems really strange to me? Almost like the ones pointing it out are hidding something? Maybe it's just me ? But Tracy girl you know as good as I do that Trans stuff can be hid REAL DEEP so don't discount your Home boy. lol .
I just think Ye who yells the loudest has the most to hide, So it's just my Two cents,, But I got enough problems myself. That's why I don't sweat the small stuff!

That 'real' bravery thing falls in the category of a straw man logical fallacy. That guy wanted us to assume that bravery takes only one form,and that was participation in combat. Of course, we know that bravery takes all sorts of forms...children facing a horrible illness, people coping with disabilities, Gandhi and Martin Luther King, and yes, even Caitlyn Jenner. the person offering this straw man reduced bravery to one thing.