I wasn't sure where to put this but this should be fine.
I really just wanna get somethings out. talk about how i have been feeling, ect.
so I finally feel like I'm on my path to self discovery. I realize that what I have been doing before now has been part of that self discovery.
however I'm finally in a position where I can start to explore & expand my horizons.
a couple years ago I really started to crossdress. I did some mild crossdressing before that but it was rare that I did it.
Then I had to move back in with my parents. I didn't really have the money to go out & buy clothes. even when I did, I was often to scared to go buy clothes. I live in a small town where I often run into people I know. also I didn't have any friends to go shopping with you know for emotional support. I couldn't order online because I lived with my parents. I'm just not ready to tell them, especially sense i have no Idea how far I want to take it. I did manage the courage to go buy some new clothes.
anyways now Im living on my own in a new place. In a city too which is great. Ive always been more of a city gal *chuckles*
Ive got a good job too so I have money to do the things I want, or at least I will. just got this job less then a month ago. anyways until very recently I had been very conflicted. Ive been putting to much thought into whether or not to transition.
sometimes I felt like I was trying to trick myself into transitioning. other times I felt like I was trying to trick myself out of it.
now I know that Im not going to find an answer by just thinking about it. I have to get out into the world in femme as often as possible.
so I can get a feel for what it is I want. maybe I will decide that presenting myself as female only some of the time is good enough. which is absolutely fine. or maybe I will find out that I want to live as a woman full time. If that happens I will have to look at what kind of options I have.
anyways i plan to go out dressed here in a couple months. hopefully with a friend, tough stuff like this is always better with a friend.
First I gotta get me a new wig. the one I had is ruined, because I wasn't able to take proper care of it. plus gonna need some more clothes, plus shoes. right now all i really have is a couple pairs of girl jeans, a few blouses, and some lingerie.
one thing I would also like to do is start taking dance lessons. I'm honestly horrible at dancing. besides If im gonna go out to the clubs in femme then I should probably learn how to shake my booty lol.
anyways I feel really good about my future right now, even if it is sort of uncertain. besides the best part of an adventure is the journey itself. well thats all for now, thank you for listening to me. If you have any advice for a newbie crossdresser getting ready to go out into the world for the first time, just let me know.
