Are You Clandestine, Flamboyant or Somewhere In-between?

[Ilsa]

​How do you categorize yourself and is it self serving or do you think you're helping the cause of the transgender community by the way you dress and express yourself? As we have seen lately their are those that believe they are helping themselves or a greater cause by becoming more public and the question is are their actions well intended and are they having a positive or negative affect on the way people perceive the CG or TG community? With your situation, do you perceive yourself as an activist or pacifist in this matter and do you wish you could do more, think you are doing enough or are you just doing it for yourself?

To clarify, in my case I'm pretty much a pacifist who wishes they could do more but is frustrated, in a way, that they can't do more given their situation. How do you feel?

Ilsa

[Dana44]

I'm not a pacifist, yet it is frustrating as I am in an area that there is no LBGT or tri-ess. I've tried to contact the tri-ess in Austin and the LBGT center. No response from them so it would be hard to get involved in anything. Totally frustrating.

[kimdl93]

I'm certainly not keeping myself a secret, nor would anyone describe me as flamboyant; but I'm not sure that clandestine is the opposite of flamboyant. If I were to describe my presentation, it would be casual and understate, leaning towards blending. But I harbor few illusions about how I am perceived. It greatly surprised (and pleases) me on those occasions when I am seen as a woman. When I am recognized as transgendered, whether or not a conversation ensues, I feel that I've made some incremental contribution. When I've been asked, I answer as openly and completely as I can.

[Sarah-RT]

Im a pacifist, id like to do more for the community but that would expose myself which im afraid to do because not enough of us have done it already, irony, I know.

In terms of the way I dress and act when dressed though I like to think if I could carry that over to the outside world that I would hopefully do us justice, my style is just casual normal GG rather than drag queen or some of the more extreme varieties out there

[cheryl reeves]

i havent been active in 12 yrs,but when i dress i dress to blend,if asked a question about me being tg,i try to answer the best i can,im very open about myself.

[Kate Simmons]

What it's come down to for myself is basically a vehicle to have fun socializing and dancing.

[justmetoo]

Pretty much what kimdl93 said. I don't think I'm clandestine, but certainly not flamboyant. I go out in "vanilla venues", as someone put it on another thread, dressed nicely but not flashy by any means. I think some people don't notice (I don't think of that as "passing", because it's more about them rather than me) and I'm sure some do. I have talked to people briefly or had people talk to me briefly. Whether serf-serving or not, I think each CD or TG person people see and interact with in public has some impact on people's ideas and perceptions, hopefully in a positive way.

[Jenniferathome]

I am not an activist, BUT, every time I am out, I engage the public in a normal way, as any friendly person would. I try to present myself as any woman with a casual, bendable, confident style.

[CynthiaD]

I'm not an activist, but I like being out and about. I'm not flamboyant either. To me that means hot pants, fishnet stockings, and breastforms the size of watermelons. I'm just a regular old lady who likes to wear nice clothes.

[Donnagirl]

Hi there Ilsa,

I'm not sure I'm able to adopt either category. Flamboyant to me suggests drag queen; clandestine, long coat, dark glasses, ect... But I'm fairly sure I know what your asking.

I try hard, fail, but try hard nethertheless to look 'passable'. In the right company, ie if it's just me and half a dozen real XX chromosome girls, well I scarcely warrant a second look. Out with my CD/TG crowd, well it becomes rapidly clear to everyone that 'all is not as it seems!!!'.

I am however happy to talk to anyone, answer any questions and be as open as possible. To that end I suppose I do provide, in my own small way some advantage to the cause! Flamboyant, no.... Extroverted, probably yes... Positive to the cause, well I hope so...

[Jean 103]

To answer your question I would say both. I dress the way I please, I don’t dress to blend or worry about dressing my age. When I’m a girl I’m all girl, complete with makeup even if I’m at the beach, a girl has to look her best at all times. If you have been following my posts you know I have been frequenting this bar. It is not a gay bar, I have met gays there but it is a regular bar. I interact with everyday people and have been well received. I hang with a group of GGs and they treat me as I am just another girl. I go there to visit and play pool. This I believe helps the transgender community. Helping the transgender community is just a by-product of me just being me. I also go out in the day time shopping, site seeing or just hanging out. Generally when I meet people doing this I don’t really talk to people it is more just hi isn’t this nice weather, there have been a few exceptions. If you frequent a place, it could be anyplace a coffee shop, favorite shop and get to know the people there this is where you will make the biggest impact. I’m not an activist, I’m just doing this for me. I have decided not to hide who I am. When talking to people and they ask what I do for work I tell them what I do and who I work for. This shows that I’m just like anyone else, well maybe not like everyone but you get the idea. This is why I have been so completely accepted even by the rednecks. I should point out that not everyone has been warm and fussy to me, but I have not heard an unkind word. Yes I was told that there were some laughing at me behind my back and the manager shut it down. I have made friends with these people and have won them over. This is where I see I have made the biggest contribution. Again I did it for me, helping the Transgender community is just a bi-product.
Love Jean

[Marcelle]

Hi Ilsa,

I guess I am an "accidently activist" of sorts. I go out in public often but try to blend but will engage others and answer questions/educate if the situation calls for it. However, as I realized this was a bit more ingrained and the need to present female became more prevalent, I sought workplace accommodation. Now don't get me wrong this was not me waving the TG banner saying "Hey, how about us folks who are caught in the middle" but predicated on a need to do so. Unfortunately, being a senior officer in the military and the first to come out as what some will refer to as a "part-timer" (there are quite a few trans women/men serving in our military), I became the face of redefining the term TG in military policy. So . . . activist by events not by choice.

Hugs

Isha

[flatlander_48]

Neither clandestine nor flamboyant, and this would apply to male and female modes. I would probably rate myself as distinctive and that probably falls in the middle somewhere. I usually have a strong color or 2 somewhere just because it pleases me, but it isn't trying to make a statement. It's just how I see myself. It could a be an article of clothing or a scarf or ??

DeeAnn

[Nadine Spirit]

I suppose that I am somewhere in-between.

While cross dessed I don't relly think that I am helping the cause of the TG community. Possibly in only being well put together, friendly, and outgoing. I am willing to be who I am, unashamedly. I am willing to talk with others openly about being a male dressed as a woman and answer any questions they may have. I am also willing to do small things, like give them my male ID when using my charge cards just like I would when I am presenting as male

I suppose that while presenting as male and doing gender non-conforming things is a bit more out there. While dressed fully I feel that I can hide, most of my close friends wouldn't even recognize me. But while presenting as a male, like at this very minute while waiting in a doctor's office with my wife, I don't have a wig on or makeup, but everything else is female, well besides my Yankee's bb cap. My nails are painted, my body hair is shaved, and all my clothes are female. So many people that know me will recognize me, easily. Thus it is unavoidable and obvious that it is me and I am dressed in femle clothes. To me, this is more my way of heing the cause of the TG community. I amwilling to put myself out there and let people that know me really see me. It is easy for people to dismiss us when they don't personally know any of us.

[Teresa]

Ilsa,
My interaction with people when out and about is open and friendly in drab mode, even when I'm shopping I try and have some fun !
If I was allowed to be out dressed I would still be the same so I would be be more activist rather than pacifist, I would like to prove to the public that the minority I belong to is harmless and can integrate into society, the stumbling block is being in a DADT relationship, my wife would definitely want me totally clandestine , like hidden in a dark cupboard !
It is very frustrating when you fully come to terms with your CDing that the identity of part of you has to stay hidden when you know an enjoyable part of your life is going to waste !