Got caught out!!!!

[Michelle 78]

Hi all,

The other day I had all afternoon to myself as Michelle!! a whole 4 hours to relax, try on some new outfits and enjoy some girl time........bliss. I am still in the closet apart from my Mother who knows about Michelle but apart from her nobody else. I have just bought myself a new wig I wanted to try out which I really like, so I thought I'd take the opportunity to wash my normal wig as it's looking a little worse for wear. So I washed my wig and left it to dry in the bedroom for a few hours. Anyway my 4 hours went by too fast as usual and I changed, cleaned off my makeup and re drabbed, I went back into the bedroom and had a look to see if my wig was dry yet, it was still a little damp, but I had to put it back into it's bag as everybody would be back home soon and I couldn't leave it out as I might get caught out so I put it away.

Fast forward to the next day and I finished work and went upstairs to the bedroom and got out the wig again to see if it was dry yet, it was still a little damp, so again I left it out to dry and then took the dog for a walk as nobody was due home for a few hours yet. I returned from walking the dog and my brother was home from work, no big deal I thought, but I better nip upstairs and put my wig out of sight just in-case he goes into my room. As I walked up the stairs I noticed something.............yep you guessed it, the bedroom door was open and he had gone into my room and had saw my wig!!!!!!!

I asked why had you gone in there!!!! he wanted to borrow some deodorant as his had ran out! I told him that I had some in the bathroom he could use, he went off to use it and I quickly went in my room to hide my wig, too late of course!! he come back and said "what was that in your room that you've moved?" I said "what do you think it was?" he replied "I know what it was, what if Mam or Dad had seen that?" I told him that it was from a long time ago when I tried dressing one time and I forgot I still had it, (He saw one of my videos on the computer once for around 2 seconds and he has never mentioned it since then) he said "I don't know what goes on in your head!" and he left it at that.

So the moral of the story Girls, always make sure you put everything away!!! I've learned the hard way now, it's just as well he didn't check in my wardrobe or under the bed as they are bursting with shoes, dresses, skirts, tops and bags!!!!!

Michelle

[bridget thronton]

When you are hiding things eventually you will forget something - for me being out to my family ended the hiding and the fear of discovery

[Alice Torn]

M,B, You are so right. We will forget to put something safely away sometime. i was staying temporarily with an older lady from my church, and dressed up when she went to shop, took a shower, and left my wrist bangles in the shower. I went away for a while, came back, and there they were next to my bed. Nothing was said, but later, after i moved out, i sent her some photos of me dressed. She said she suspected it, and does not approve of it at all, and that i should stop it.

[OCCarly]

Thank God I am out to my wife (best thing I ever did) and no one else lives with us. I only need to worry if we have people coming over. But of course that adds one more reason for her to get after me when we are cleaning the house for a party.

[DebbieL]

They aren't fooled.

There is way too much here that suggests that your family probably knows a LOT more than you think they do. As you said, your mom knows.

Your dad probably knows but is in denial mode. Your brother probably suspected, which is why he went into your room, and may even want to talk to you about it. Don't shut him out with lies.

You obviously enjoy dressing, and you seem to have some transgender desires as well. At this point, your family is probably assuming that you are like Bruce Jenner, and are wondering if you are suffering the same way he did. The mask is hard to keep up. You have to shut yourself down emotionally, sexually, spiritually, and keep friends, family, and other loved-ones at arms length.

Take the time to talk with you mom and your brother, now that they already know. Ask your mom if your father knows anything and how he feels about it.

Once you are free to be you, you can start to really explore where you want to go from here. if you could have a wand that would change you from the guy you are now to a reasonably attractive woman who would always be accepted, would you change to a girl and break the wand? Would you change to girl only for the week-ends? Or would you change to boy only for work?

You are transgender, but probably NOT someone who MUST transition. On the other hand, you have spent up to this time in your life being forced to hide your clothes, your wig, your feminine behavior.
If you no longer have to fear rejection and hatred of your family, would you still want to spend most of you time and life "drabbed out".

For some of us "drab" is "DRessed As Boy" vs "Dressed As Girl" (drag), but it's just a statement of our wardrobe of the moment. For others, Drab describes not only the wardrobe, but our existence when we wear that wardrobe.

Let you bother and mother know that you DON'T plan to transition AT THIS TIME. You don't even get out of the house. They may have found your "stash" but were afraid to talk to you about it. They didn't want to scare you or threaten you.

[Michelle 78]

Wow that's deep Debbie,

My brother didn't have any motives to go into my room it really was just by accident, not because he was trying to catch me out. I never lie to my brother we are a close family, If he does ask me why, I'll tell him the truth about Michelle. My Dad knows absolutely nothing about Michelle I can promise you that, so he's not in denial. My Mother does know and she has for a year now, but she is ok with my dressing even though she would prefair I didn't do it, but she won't stop me because as she says it's my business and she loves me and accepts me for who I am.

Yes I do enjoy dressing, Don't we all? and who on here hasn't even thought about transitioning? yes, all of us on here! That doesn't mean that I plan to anytime soon if ever. A magic wand to turn me into a girl at will, if I could invent one of those I'd be a millionaire overnight. Yes hiding my clothes is a pain, and as a cross-dresser whose time is limited we always want to as much as we can. I hide my stash because my other family and friends just wouldn't understand, and besides it's my business and they don't need to know. And yes I do get out of the house and have done a few times over the course of the last year and plan to do it more.

Am I Transgender?....... all I know I'm happy being what I am and that's ME. Will that be a female me in years time? who knows, ask me in another 5 or 10 years. Things do advance for us all, and they certainly have for me over the last year or so, I've seen others join here the same time as me now living full time.

Michelle

[Meganfla]

I'm very new to all this and have actually made a list every time I get dressed, when it's time to put everything back, it gets checked off the list. Never realized there was so much to put on the list.
Megan

[Sarah Louise]

Oops! I hope it all turns out OK for you and if it doesn't, don't be apologetic. This is the way you are and if others don't understand that's their problem. Easy for me to say, still being in the closet, but I think that's how I'd treat the situation if I got caught.

[Teresa]

Michelle,
I had a similar thing with some washing , I hang my girl stuff on the inside of the rotary line and male stuff on the outside to hide it from neighbours so it usually takes longer to dry . I usually have to finish some things in the tumble dryer , how many times have I forgotten to empty it ? Luckily I haven't been caught out yet apart from I forgot my daughter was in the house once and she caught me ironing a dress which she knew didn't belong to my wife so I told her the whole story ! She has always been OK about it even to the point of seeing some photos .

[Barbara Black]

Hey Debbie, thanks for clearing that up for me, Dressed As A Boy, and Dressed As A Girl. I had never had that spelt out to me before.

[grace7777]

Michelle,

I think Debbie raises some valid points. People who are around you a lot often know a lot more about you than you think they know. I can say this from personal experience.

As to your brother, I think you should talk to him and let him know, since it seems he basically knows anyways.

[Maria 60]

My wife tells me all the time that iam very careless with my fem things and that's going to be my leg breaker. I have the double look rule, when walking away always look back, but sometime you don't have the chance. Hope things don't get weird with your brother.

[Mollyanne]

Maybe, just maybe you should have a talk with your brother. Only you know how accepting he is with issues such as this. If mom accepts the fact that you are who you are then maybe she would be willing to help you explain this to your brother. Sooner then later things will unravel and then the explaining will be harder. I can only speak for myself when I say getting discovered is very, very nerve racking. Consider it!!!!!!

Molly

[JessMe]

I learned a long time ago that I needed to be very careful about putting things back where I got them (and sometimes rather quickly at that!) However, there is always a risk when you have such "contraband" in the presence of people who don't know or understand. I look at it more as a when than an if when it comes to getting busted, and while it's not a pleasant experience, it CAN potentially open up the door for communication. As a matter of fact, the only reason I ever opened up to my sister is because I had failed to return a bra I had borrowed from my mother as a kid. To this day she's "got my back" and has saved me from getting caught by others quite a few times!
I agree that it might be time to talk to your brother, but only you know the situation...

[Michelle 78]

Hi Girls and thanks for all your responses your thoughts are very much appreciated,

To update, my brother hasn't brought the subject up at all since it happened. I hear you all, and I know that the talk is coming soon with my brother, I am ready for that and I will tell him everything about Michelle, I suppose he is in denial mode now, he is acting just as normal with me and he hasn't said anything to my Mother about it because I've told her what happened and she's told me he hasn't said a word about it. Debbie, Molly & Grace are right I will tell him, I don't like to lie to my family not even little white lies, if he asks me why I had the wig I'll tell him, Jess you are right maybe it's a way to open communication.

I have suspected that he has known about me for some time, but to be honest I've grown to a level of acceptance with Michelle now that I'm sick of hiding it, still a lot of people I know don't need to know, it's in their best interest as well as mine that it stays that way. I'm not ashamed of who I am and people will just have to deal with it as Michelle is here to stay.

Thinking about it Debbie you may be right, maybe they all know more than I think they do, only time will tell I guess.

Michelle

[jigna]

Whenever I left something loose, it came as a problem.
We need to take all precautions and extra care, especially you do some different activity.

[AbigailJordan]

I used to have similar troubles.. rushing around when an unexpected visitor came to the door.. making sure there was nothing incriminating lying around etc.. fortunately I live alone and have no siblings etc to just come wandering round.. and I am now out to most of my closest friends.. the ones likely to just pop round without warning at least.. and my family know.. so I no longer have to worry about that dress drying on the radiator.. or that pair of dangly earrings I left on the coffee table etc.. takes a lot of the pressure off.

[jjjjohanne]

The same thing happened to me once. I left some tights out on my bed. I took a walk outside. As I approached home, my brother and his daughters were at my house. They needed computer help. They had gone into my room. I went in, hid the tights, and hoped they didn't notice, or didn't assume they were mine. I don't know how his two daughters could have missed them, or how they could have assumed they were not mine! Nothing was ever said.

[Jennifer B]

I've never understood anyone who goes into someone else's room without permission. It's a private space, a personal enclave and should be respected as such. And yet I've lived with enough people to realise that many people just don't see the world that way. They either don't respect other people or they don't ever foresee why it might be an issue. Which in either case I believe is an attitude that signifies a personal failing. Although I'm sure many would disagree with me on that one.

Ultimately for those of us, "in the closet" we literally have to keep everything in the closet and more than that, often under lock and key. And I find that desperately sad. Because it means that you can't ever relax even in the privacy of your own home.

[Robin414]

Happened to me, my sister in law was living with us when first married. She found a woman's blouse in the wash and long story short I came clean and confessed it was mine. My wife was out of town for several days on business and my sister in law put some cosmetics and costume jewelry in my bathroom! Wow, talk about acceptance, I still love her for that! That was a long time ago and I've since come out to my wife of course. You can't hide what you are forever and keeping the 'secret' causes a way more self harm than coming out in the long term I think!

[Karolyn]

Almost happened to me twice with my friends. One time I had a black satin robe on my couch that I forgot to bring back to my bedroom, and a friend of mine was already in the apartment. I was able to hide it quickly behind my back, and go to my bedroom as if I needed something there. Phew!

The worst one was a bit later. A girl friend of mine saw my cute stuffed animals on my bed and entered my bedroom (the door was partially open) and when "visiting" she was going to open the door of the walk-in closet. Nooo!!! I was able to find a distraction in half a second so she looks somewhere else, and she finally forgot to come back to the closet.

Those were scary times, but since I came out 4 months ago, now I have nothing to hide So much more freedom.

[justmetoo]

That reminds me - once upon a time I came home from work to find one of my bras sitting nicely on a chair. I had a cleaning service to come and clean my house and that was their day to come. Obviously I had forgotten to put the bra away and they had picked it up when they cleaned. Nothing was ever said (but they usually came when I was at work so we didn't really ever talk). I figure if they thought much about it they probably figured it was left behind after a makeout session or something. I didn't worry about it.

I always make sure to pick up if I am going to have anyone over to my house, but that doesn't happen often. And if anyone ever does see anything I don't really care. What I do in my house is my business. (like my dad used to say, in a different context, "my house, my rules" )

[Angie G]

Before my wife knew. I left thing out a few time my wife if someone wes here. And was sort of happy they were my things.
Angie