Survey on pronouns

[alwayshave]

I found that the largest voting group in this site, when it came to these questions was quite interesting and substantial compared to others. This group was white, southern, females, age 45-65, identifying as democrat or independent. (the last parameter was too close to call) What I found really interesting was that this group had the lowest acceptance rate towards transgenders or at least in the two pertinent questions I looked at. Then again this was just a quick snapshot, though I thought it would be the opposite.

Well, I'm white, I suppose DC is the south (below the PA MD line), I am 45-65 and independent, and sometimes identify as female, so I guess I fit the group well.

[Stephanie47]

I'm going to put my two cents in. In the past I've been contacted by persons doing legitimate surveys. I say legitimate because the survey is truly one for gauging public opinion. Yes, I took courses in colleges dealing with surveys. Many of the survey questions have built in faults. I do not know if there was questions prior to this questions or an informational presentation made before handing out the survey. This survey does not define terminology. Was the person told a definition of "transgender?" The question in my mind clearly in gauging opinion for those persons who are "transsexual," i.e., the soul is trapped in the opposite physical body.

Before joining this forum I always thought "transgender" = "transsexual." I personally think the vast majority of adults think the same way. I am a "cross dresser." I like wearing women's clothing. I don't know why and I no longer care that I don't know. If someone were to ask me to self identify myself I will always state I am a cross dresser, and, I am not transgender. I am a man who enjoys wearing women's clothing.

I believe this question would get an "F" in my survey class. My answer is none of the above, which is totally different than "Not Sure."

[jigna]

I am also a "cross dresser." and I like wearing women's clothing. I don't know why.
If someone were to ask me to self identify myself I will not have any courage to state I am a cross dresser, and, I am not transgender.
I am a man who enjoys wearing women's clothing.

[MonctonGirl]

My answer is not on there;

The LEGAL address should correspond with what gender is indicated on the govt issued ID.
( That is, it should not be considered discriminatory nor libelous etc etc to address them by what record the govt states as true.)

Of course it is subject to discretion - such as...
- when a retail saleslady, hairdresser, medical receptionist or other person believes they can accommodate & show respect and
general good faith by addressing them by the other gender "if advised/asked" ( kinda like "consent" for sex - often a grey area )
... but they should not be deemed as committing an act of discrimination if they use the address indicated by the govt issued ID.
There needs to be that rule so that there is a clear legal "ok" way to do things when there is confusion.

Such as in Court or other legal matters - or say for example when a TG person wants to join a Women's Only Gym
and access locker rooms, showers, etc.

But then there is the question of whether a person with testes and penile extension can be legally deemed female,
or if a person with a vagina can be deemed male.

What would be good though is a universal pronoun for males and female
- such as how Mz. was developed to be and ambiguous female marital status pronoun
used in place of Miss ( unmarried ) and Mrs. ( married ) - to avoid the same type of thing.

[Bridget Ann Gilbert]

but again I ask...how would you know? It would be a moot question because anyone can get a name change...some states let you change gender marker without hormones.

You would know the same way you would know if answering D) when a person begins medical treatments. You would know because a) the TG person has informed you him/her self of a change in legal status or b) you heard about the change in status through common communication channels like friends, social media, etc. There is a third option here since to change anything about your legal status requires a court action, court records are publicly available so you could know that way.

I think a good example of a person who would not want to use a TG's preferred pronoun unless it was a legal change would be a very conservative politician making public statements about the TG person. Although the pol would not personally accept the change he or she would find it politically expedient to use the new pronoun to avoid sounding intolerant while justifying the change to the base constituents as just going by what the law says. That said, I was actually surprised when Rick Santorum, hardly a moderate Republican on social issues, referred to Caitlyn Jenner as she. There may be hope left.

[AbigailJordan]

Well, as many here, I would say C.. If I'm just sat at home chilling in some nice clothes and a friend comes round.. I fully expect to be addressed as male.. if I get all done up and present as female.. then yes it's nice when people refer to me in the feminine.. however I think it's a case of.. whilst that is the most appropriate point at which to switch pronouns.. I think many of the CD/TV members don't really care too much about it.

I can only assume that it's a little different for those transitioning to any degree. Perhaps they prefer the pronoun switch from the very start.. perhaps they too wait until they are far enough along their path to present full or part time as female (as this is the MtF forum.. just as valid for FtMs though).

[char GG]

In my experience, I think wives find it hard/awkward/weird, etc --- to call their crossdressed husbands a "she" when he goes home, takes off his dress, gets in the shower, and is obviously a "he".

[Claire Cook]

I think is just Common Courtesy to use the pronouns that are appropriate for how a person presents, if gender is not otherwise obvious.

So i see this as a C.

Claire (CC!)

[Greenie]

Oh I totally think its e. But I know people who idenitfy as dual gender, or genderfluid. Its very common at our support group in Seattle that there are many people who go by they, or use pronouns opposite their appearance. I hope we all move towards just asking instead of assuming.

Lucas for example, when in womens clothes, still wants to be a he. So c, would be an inappropriate answer for him, as well as many other CD's on this forum or at the groups we meet. They is a common identifier.

I think that as a community, we should be more hesitant of assuming we know someones gender identity just because they are wearing a skirt.

[Carla4Guage]

Is the proper response not C,D & E ?

[Ezekiel]

Oh I totally think its e. But I know people who idenitfy as dual gender, or genderfluid. Its very common at our support group in Seattle that there are many people who go by they, or use pronouns opposite their appearance. I hope we all move towards just asking instead of assuming.

Lucas for example, when in womens clothes, still wants to be a he. So c, would be an inappropriate answer for him, as well as many other CD's on this forum or at the groups we meet. They is a common identifier.

I think that as a community, we should be more hesitant of assuming we know someones gender identity just because they are wearing a skirt.

Exactly, I can't agree more. I'm quite surprised that you all fall into society's trap of "assuming by appearances", while at the same time you claim the exact opposite thing saying that gender is in the brain not the body. Quite contradictory.

Just as when you don't know a person's name until you go ahead and ask them, you should consider asking their gender preference too in situations when you meet a transgender individual, whatever their nature might be.

Im a man, whether Im dressed up pretty or not, and I can tell you I prefer "he". Don't asume I'm a "she" just because I'm dressed in female associated clothes. Even If I'm one of the few exceptions, its always better to ask.

[ReineD]

I think that as a community, we should be more hesitant of assuming we know someones gender identity just because they are wearing a skirt.

This has been my experience too. So "E" is a good choice. Ask first, and if they identify as such or want you to use the feminine pronouns, then do.

[Meganfla]

I would agree with most, C is my choice.
Meg

[NicoleScott]

Ask first seems like a very bad idea. I don't want to be asked, when shopping en femme, "should I call you sir or ma'am?" (OK, they aren't pronouns). Who gets asked? Anybody who looks "questionable?". That's going to upset a lot of people, like guys with no gender issues but who like to dress somewhat feminine, women who have a masculine look, and others. It's only logical to use pronouns matching a person's presentation, unless/until that person states a preference.
I agree with Stephanie47 that it's a bad question, and so are the answer choices.
If I'm ever asked if I'm transgender, I would need a definition before answering.

[Samantha Clark]

Isn't it time we had our own pronoun?

he - she - fab..?

Katey x

I agree! How about "hermit," a combination of her, him, it? Or how about she, he, it? Oops, maybe not!

I read the other day that a new honorific is out there: Mx. pronounced, appropriately, "mix" used instead of Mr. or Ms.

[Jaymees22]

I think "C" because it is who you would "See". If in doubt just say "Hi".

[Collette Z]

If someone feels more comfortable referring to Collette as a 'him' or Ted as a 'her', then it's not me that feels silly...