Been about 2 years

[Staci G]

I haven't been here in ? I can't remember. I miss you all, I haven't dressed in about 2 years or so. I decided my marriage was worth saving. If you ask do I miss the feel of a soft dress or the sound of pantyhose swishing to the nylon of a slip, or maybe they smell of Merle Norman and the taste of lipstick on me. I will tell you, more than anything I can think of. I so want that touch of lace on my favorite bra and panties set, the feel of the hair on my back as I shop in the ladies stores of the mall. This all sounds sentimental and I guess it is, but I wanted to say it to someone and I love you all for being there to listen. XOXO

During this time I have gained weight, my health isn't what it was, Hypertension, and the like. So all in all I guess the dressing does relax us and is key to keeping our health and well being. I never thought it would effect me so but I am living proof that it is a health lifestyle choice.

[LexiMay]

Welcome back! Nice to meet you, I hope you stick around :-)

Lexi 💜

[Suzie Petersen]

Hi Staci,

Welcome back .. maybe

I can relate to your story, both the reason for stopping and the feelings of missing something important.

I too chose to force myself to stop dressing and keep my marriage intact instead. For me it was an easy choice although not easily implemented. As time has gone by, it has become easier to not get myself down and depressed because of it.
No, the desire doesnt go away, but at least for me it is something I now have control over instead of the other way around.

I have not had the health decline you mention and I am sorry to hear it had that effect on you. I am getting older, sure, and with that some things are drifting in the wrong direction, but I dont feel unhealthy and I dont feel it was caused by stress over not giving into the dressing desire.

Anyway, good to have you here! Looking forward to chatting more.

Hugs
Suzie

[Bridget Ann Gilbert]

Hi Staci,

Glad to make your acquaintance. You are not the only one who has put off dressing to keep a marriage. Going on 18 years here myself, but I understand the tension, which is why I joined the forum. Sometimes you just need to express yourself to people who really understand how you feel. So rejoin the discussions and have some fun. I hope you can get your health markers back up to snuff.

Bridget

[TrishaTX]

LOL I almost killed myself not dressing...Head up girl. You will figure out a middle at some point , just keep plugging away.

[Teresa]

Staci,
You'll never stop being a member, rules won't let sign out completely so it's good to know the door has been left open for you !
I hope the two years has been worth it to protect your marriage, I don't think I could survive two days without dressing to some degree. I have to agree with you on Cding giving you a healthier lifestyle, I watch my weight because of my figure, I shower and shave everyday to feel good even when in drab . The only down side I don't sleep too well because of the DADT situation, I'm sitting here now in a nightie and dressing gown at one in the morning catching up on the forum, I always sleep better when I've had a good PM with someone !

[Staci G]

Hi TX thank you for the kind words of encouragement. I think coming here and talking about it may help. That with the occasional pantyhose.

[RADER]

Welcome back Staci; I was very lucky, my wife was OK with my dressing;
At times she would tell me to go and get dressed.
She knew that it had a calming effect on me.
Good luck, and maybe some day your SO will be more tolerant.
Rader

[Julie Denier]

Welcome back, Staci! I know how you feel -- be strong

[Helen_Highwater]

Staci,
I may be faced with the same dilemma. Circumstances may dictate that my opportunity to dress may be severely restricted in the a few months time for the foreseeable future. There will be small windows of opportunity but I suspect few and far between. I hope I can cope but only time will tell. Stay strong

[Katey888]

Welcome back Staci!

Must be hard for you and those that have to make this choice - I don't envy anyone in the situation but I do admire your grit for being prepared to sacrifice your own needs for others... So DO use this place to vent a little if you need to... and maybe just a little, subtle, covert dressing on the side will help your balance.. And you can always hope that things will change...

Katey x

[Maria 60]

Welcome back, and it's funny you should say that about the weight, because as soon as the dresses and skirts start feeling tight I start to work out. I have great respect for you making that choose, GOD knows before I told my wife how many times I tried, but since she was alright with it I now just have to keep it under control. Good luck with everything.

[Marcelle]

Hi Staci and welcome back. Choices are never easy and we sometimes have to make toughs one to protect the things we hold dear and you have made such a choice. It takes courage and great strength to give up something so heavily ingrained in oneself so I applaud your conviction. Do try to make some more healthy lifestyle changes to deal with some of your physical ailments as that might help to give you focus away from dressing. Naturally, we are all here for you should you wish to talk or just vent.

Hugs

Isha

[Mollyanne]

I must applaud your decision and willpower to "not dress and save the marriage". KUDOS TO YOU FOR DOING SO!!!!!! I personally could not do it, I am what I am and probably would go down the divorce road if I couldn't dress or partially dress. Dressing the part of a female gives me the incentive to lose weight (vanity), update my wardrobe, decide what new make-up applications are for me etc etc. You are a "sister"here.

Molly

[STACY B]

It's not just the Cross dressers that decline while being in denial or being denied the RIGHT to express ourselves in the way we feel. Trans people do the same thing as you but maybe even worse as in my case for sure. Small example just not to long ago got on HRT and had a strange doctor an didn't feel comfortable about it and stopped the hormones and didn't go back an fell into a deep depression and gained lots of weight and all the Goodies that go with it at my age.

So if we are denied the right to be ourselves for the sake of others you are not going to make a very good spouse anyway so most women end up ether leaving for other reasons or just let you do what you gotta do.

As for me , I was a DRINKER,,EATER,, WORKER, To the fullest you can't even imagine in your wildest dreams how much I did in those catigories. So in order to save my own life an the life of my family I am where I am now, But that was the begining not the Bad doctor thing. As far as the Bad doctor deal went it was all eating and stop working out, I fell into a depression and just gave up, I found a new doctor and am back on track now.
But don't think this stuff don't effect your whole life. It does, An the more you are denied the more you want it.

So if your spouse wants any kind of life they need to educate themselves or hit the door running, CUz it don't get better it gets WORSE over time. I think the older you get the worse it gets. It did for me, Good Luck.