Kicking the habit

[Sarah-RT]

I would completely agree that you can physically stop dressing, in the same way smokers and alcoholics quit, however like they say "your never truly off"

If you have the willpower to resist dressing and you feel that's the best option for your circumstances then I commend you on your decision and wish you the best, none of us here can say you shouldn't stop, it is a choice to dress or not to but do think of yourself, I have found that resisting it can cause uneasiness and other behavioural problems so while you put your family first which is quite selfless make sure your own mental health is looked after too.

Sarah x

[Claire Cook]

Kp74,

Obviously we are all different, and have different takes on our CD'ing. There is no problem in saying "I'm done with it", if that is how you feel. We all probably have had periods in our lives when dressing was either unsatisfying, unnecessary or inappropriate. I've had long stretches when I had neither the urge nor the circumstances to dress.

But then for me it's like Mark Twain's take on smoking: "Quitting is easy. I've done it thousands of times."

[MsVal]

I sincerely wish the best for your family and for you. I further hope that the inevitable compromises one must make are simple and benign. One compromise that you seem to be willing to make is to set aside this part of your personal satisfaction for the sake of the family. That is a noble and selfless thing that many have done before. I, for example abruptly quit smoking, and later quit drinking just as abruptly. I decided one day that I wanted to lose weight and dropped 1/3 of my weight in about six months. I did all those in an effort to be a better father, husband, and provider. When it comes to willpower, I'm Superman. When I attempted to use my super powers to quit crossdressing I encountered some unfortunate consequences. I became depressed, anxious, and resentful of my family. My therapist said this was to be expected. Smoking, drinking, and over eating are behaviors that can be changed. The urge to crossdress comes from another part of the psyche. It is not a behavior, and not directly treatable.

I hope that in your case, the crossdressing was merely a passing interest and not the manifestation of an inner need.

Be mindful of unintended consequences, particularly when the children are no longer home most of the time.

Best wishes
MsVal

[Vale]

Everyone's different.

To me it seems reasonable to set dressing aside ( or de-emphasize if you prefer) when it is not serving your best interests. It also seems reasonable to pick it back up again if your situation changes and it now can make a positive contribution. I guess I don't find this scary at all. There is nothing bad about changing what you emphasize as your life progresses. I would call that healthy.

So no dire warnings from me. As you can guess, I've done what you're doing, the kids are now gone, and I am now putting more emphasis on dressing again. It's all OK.

Enjoy your life babe.
Love,

Vale

[jigna]

I am sure I will not leave CD.
It's a great pleasure wearing woman garments.
I feel envy for those who are able to wear this in public.
This is addiction and can't leave without it n don't want to leave.

[Stephanie47]

You used the word "struggle." You haven't posted for several years with one post within the last six months. I can understand your motivations. I wish you well. However, please monitor your behavior. I found trying to give up cross dressing was "a struggle sometimes." It also may lead to frustrations that may manifest itself in ways that are injurious to marital harmony. Good luck.

[rocketscientist]

Yes, check in often and let us know how this is working out for you.😜

[Alice Torn]

Human beings, are very adaptable, and have the ability to change habits, but it is not easy for most. I heard it takes 3 weeks of abstaining, to be on the road to overcoming an addiction. I would say, for me, the desire would never totally go away. If i had a beautiful mate, it might subside a little, but i am a bachelor. I am not quite ready to purge everything, but am trying to not let it control my life, as I need to address many tough issues. I believe it is possible to pretty much stop, as we must never say never.

[reb.femme]

If it works for you, fantastic. I gave up smoking at 25 years old, sugar in my drinks at 32, but I am most definitely not giving up my dressing.

As far as medical studies have previously shown, it will not make me put on weight or cause lung disease. In fact, it makes me want to lose weight. So for me, it has medical benefits.

Seriously though, good luck to you and your family and with your futures.


Rebecca

[sometimes_miss]

Let me just say, in my case, I could never understand why people always accused me of being an angry and never happy guy, now I know it was do to all the repression.

^this. Yes, I could stop crossdressing. I have, several times, for years. However, during those times, everything else in my life was going well, especially in the romantic aspect. I had a steady, nice girlfriend, or was engaged or married and things were all looking up. In hindsight, the desire to crossdress was always there, but I was able to keep it in the background. When other things in life go bad, I'm unable to do that, and the desire comes to the forefront. Then if I don't crossdress, I feel frustrated, uncomfortable, uneasy, can't sleep, can't sit still, can't concentrate, get cranky, irritable, slowly progressing to nasty. In short, I'm miserable. And I don't want to feel miserable all the time just so I can fit into the what the rest of society thinks is normal, especially when I'm not hurting anyone, and am alone in my own home.

[CarlaWestin]

I guess you just take up voyeuristic, gender correctly clothed, cd site lurking.
Or golf.

[Angie G]

I've alway said if one really wishes to do somethig they can. I do think one can stop dressing it one really wants. Gladly I wish not to. All I can say is good for you if that's what you want.
Angie

[AmyVanessa]

It's great that you know what's important in your life.
I wish you the very best

[Aleca]

My father in law passed away in 1999 and I stopped, my wife threatened to leave me in 2000 if I didn't stop cding, so I stopped, each time I moved to a new town and started a new job I stopped, when I became a Christian in 2008 I stopped, when my dad developed dementia in 2010 I stopped, when I attended a rigorous school, job training program in 2014 I stopped. The only time I really could put it down was when I fell for another woman once and lost interest for a while, yet it came back. Point here being that no matter what life throws at you, holds you back, or think you have found a cure In all these difficult life changing times cding was always in the back of my mind,.

[Nyla F]

Keyplayer74,

Just curious. Do you consider yourself a crossdresser who no longer crossdressers? In other words is being a crossdresser like being an alcoholic? Like an alcoholic who has been sober a long time might still consider themselves an alcoholic.

Nyla

[OCCarly]

Crossdressing lowers my blood pressure, calms me down, and motivates me to cut out the beer and soda pop in order to lose weight. And wearing a sports bra, yoga shorts and women's running shoes keeps me on the treadmill longer. Now why on earth would I ever even consider quitting something that is so darn good for me?

[Keyplayer74]

Wow.. some mixed responses here. Someone indicated that in 2012 my posts were shopping for clothes. That may actually be true. I've forgotten, and that may have been a momentary relapse. I'm not perfect. I'm also not saying anyone who dresses is wrong. I'm not judging, because I've walked a mile in your high heels. Some here seemed to almost take my quitting personally.

I can say that I've put the crossdressing desires behind me as much as possible and it doesn't consume me like it once did. Oh how I remember how much it consumed my every thought at one point. The "pink fog" was really thick back in about 2007. I don't plan to go back to it.. for me it was completely self serving. I believe I'm personally much better off with nothing to hide, and nothing preoccupying my daily thoughts. I don't own a single fem item. All purged years ago.

Someone else mentioned that if I've quit, then why am I here? Simply to share with some who may wonder if quitting is possible that, yes, it's possible. Can you fall off the wagon? Absolutely. Get back on if you want to quit.

Take care..

- KP

[ReluctantDebutant]

I can say that I've put the crossdressing desires behind me as much as possible and it doesn't consume me like it once did. Oh how I remember how much it consumed my every thought at one point. The "pink fog" was really thick back in about 2007. I don't plan to go back to it.. for me it was completely self serving. I believe I'm personally much better off with nothing to hide, and nothing preoccupying my daily thoughts. I don't own a single fem item. All purged years ago.

Well said, I feel much the same way. Good Luck KP

[Jenny Elwood]

Hopefully I can join this elite club of two (three?) one day...