hi again,
i am a member for about 6 years now. in the beginning i knew i have to transition. than i became scared, liked the idea of androgyny and pushed my limits further. seven month later i had my first therapy session, because i knew that it is more for me than being androgyne. but i became scared again. it was like a rollercoaster-road. there were month i felt okay and there were month i thought i became crazy, because i can't go on like this anymore.
i went to 3 therapists and everytime thing got serious i got soooooo scared that i quit going to them. the last time i went to a therapist is 6 month ago. i had my letter, i had an appointement with an endocrinolgist. and what have i done? i shaved my head, thinking about being a manly men. and it was good for about 3 month. since then i feel desperate. i know what would be the best for me, but again, i am sooo scared! i am 27 years old now.
i am scared that i won't pass, that i won't find a job, that my family won't accept it. and to be honest... i have these feelings since i was 3 years old, but i am scared, that transition might be wrong for me! please, don't get me wrong... i know how i feel inside and if you would give me a pill i would not hesitate, but there is no pill. i would have to go the difficult road of transition and i am scared.
please, give me some advise, bolster me up