Mum

[leannejacobs]

Well I've pondered over telling my mum for quite some time, wondering what if anything was to be gained by it, we were having a conversation today regarding stress etc, which I'm on medication for, I told her I've not been taking my pills to which she disapproved.

I seized the opportunity to come out, I said "there are other ways to relieve stress " she looked puzzled,,, I gave her the whole 9 yards, emphasising that I'm not gay, I don't wish to transition and there is no perversion or sexual element to what I do.

she remained calm throughout and asked the usual questions, I even showed her some pictures to which she delighted me by saying "you make a bonny female" lol all in all it went very well.
I've not told my wife that I told her yet.

Who else has shared their secret with their mum? how did it go and how did it make you feel?

[Marcelle]

Hi Leanne and congrats on having that discussion with your mum. I am sure a weight has been lifted off your shoulders.

Hugs

Isha

[Michelle 78]

Hi Leanne,

Yes I have shared my dressing with my mother just coming up to a year ago now. It was a shock to her and I explained everything exactly the way you have and covered all the obvious questions. You are lucky, a year later my Mother won't even see a picture of me yet, but we have grown much, much closer because of her knowing about it. Give your Mother time to get used to this news, Mothers can see past anything and no doubt she will support you going forwards.

If you need any advise send me a PM.

Michelle

[Brenda Freeman]

I wish I could she has late stage Alzheimer's so sad, I remember when I was young she said on several occasions that I had such pretty curly hair that would be nice for a girl. She also wanted to dress me up as a girl one Halloween which I regret not doing, but was afraid at the time! lots of good memories though, I wonder what she would say if I told her given things she would say to me when I was young. Glad you had the opportunity.

[DonnaT]

Congrats Leanne.

Came out to my mother several years ago, and it went well. She's even given me fem items.

May as tell your wife before your mum mentions it.

[justmetoo]

My mother was one of the first people I came out to. She is a very opened minded and experienced world-savvy person, who did some modeling in her younger days and later became a hippy mom. She was totally accepting and not shocked at all, but didn't say if she already knew or suspected. She has met me in femme mode and seen pictures, and has used words like "beautiful". She said I would have her full support if I wanted to transition, which I don't and told her so. But it's good to know she supports me. We have talked a number of times and I have tried to convey my position and feelings, which I think she understands by now. Now she likens it to having 2 wonderful twins, 1 male, 1 female.

[suzanne]

A couple of years ago, there was a death in the family, and we got a rare opportunity for a reunion. During that weekend, my mom confessed to me that she had two years older than me, that she gave up for adoption. I already knew this, as my father had told me as part of a smear campaign in an ugly divorce more than thirty years ago. I had decided not to mention or discuss it until mom told me herself.

In the spirit of open disclosure, I thought maybe that was a good time to tell her my story. Twice I began and twice she cut me off. I got the very distinct sense she knew something about where I was going and would have none of it. I wasn't upset or disappointed, though, because she is an adherent of the "God hates fags" school of Christian religious bigotry. I let it go. I don't know what she knows or doesn't know about CDing, but I'm pretty sure she will quote to me from Leviticus and then disown me. So be it. I know how to deal with toxic relationships.

[bimini1]

I told her in my mid 20's because I was struggling and we were close. I felt hell if I can't talk to her about it then who? If I did it over again I would not have told her. I think she somehow felt responsible for it and failed me as a parent. The last time we talked about it was about 10 years ago. Its like she has pushed it so far out of her mind I honestly think she tells herself its some phase I went through. And I am not about to let her think any different. I did not know it at the time but she is trans/homophobic. And it has gotten worse as she's gotten older. I'm not about to push it with her as I respect her and she is the only person on this earth that still intimidates me. You might say I've got "mother issues" lol.

[Rachelakld]

I came home from base at the age of 18, mum raided my kit bag looking for washing before I removed my girl stuff, she washed, folded and returned them. She said they were nice but don't tell your dad. I so miss her

[Claire Cook]

Hi Leanne,

I think it is wonderful that you came out to your Mum the way you did and she reacted the way she did. Back in the Dark Ages when I was aware of my TG (but I didn't know what it was) -- and getting into my mother's closet whenever I could -- such things were not discussed. Mom knew I did this, but we could never bring ourselves to talk about it. She wanted a daughter, but I was the only child. I often wonder how my life would have been different if I could have discussed this with her early on. I'm really happy for you and hope this brings a new dimension into your relationship.

I assume you will tell your wife about this?

Hugs,

Claire

[leannejacobs]

Yes I'll drop it into the conversation with my wife later, it won't be an issue, I'm feeling a nice release of secrecy now, I just wonder how long my mum was googling cross dressing last night lol I told her to, to get a better understanding.

[Rachel292]

Leanne , well done for having the courage to tell her. But I accept it is not for all of us to tell and it does not always go well.

My mum was the first family member I told, about 18 months ago. (I actually told my Daughter at the same time so that she had someone with her , when I told her) She is nearly 88 and is my rock that I rely on. She's been absolutely brilliant. the only thing I have not done with her yet is take her out with me when i'm Rachel. I even arrived at her house (150 miles from mine), a couple of weeks ago, as Rachel with a Friend who is well into her transition. We then went off to do some sightseeing and I eventually arrived back at hers in late evening. Me and my friend went out again the following day. Unfortunately I had to deal with my non accepting sister the day after, before bringing mum and my friend back to mine. I then went out a couple of times ( a river cruise and BBQ) while she was visiting. And we called in to see a couple of T friends in a pub, on our way home from a trip out, but I was in Bob mode for that (scary , because it was the first time I've introduced / outed Bob to some T friends)
I love my mum and she loves me (she says, she always will no matter what).
Initially she was really scared when I told her, but she used to be a doctors receptionist and is also open minded and worldly wise. Her biggest issue was it something she did or caused. So she contacted her doctor who explained things to her. Having put her mind at rest. all I've had since is support.
Note: she accepts that I crossdress / am Part time Rachel , she also has a friend ( ex neighbour) who she is aware of has a Daughter awaiting GRS , and said to me that her friends daughter is much more serious than me because she is going the whole way. To be honest, I don't know where my future lies , and if I should Transition would she still be OK ?

[cheryl reeves]

i told my mom 15 yrs ago,and showed her cheryl later on at holloween,she told me i looked great,then she told me she always suspected i dressed for their were times her dresses werent in the spot she hung them. i love my mom even though we never got along,,her fault not mine. as for leviticus,it states women should not dress in mens battle gear while the male dresses and takes care of the house and kids,nothing to do with crossdressing as most of us practice it,formost of us dress male and female.