I was called "Caitlyn Jenner"

[Michelle789]

Sorry for another Caitlyn Jenner thread, I know the brew ha ha is probably getting old.

This afternoon, I was walking from my car to the supermarket to pick up a few things. A woman yells "hi Caitlyn Jenner" to me. I first ignored her but then decided to approach her and talk to her. She was with a friend. We spoke briefly about being trans. He said that he has an aunt who is transgender. They asked me a few questions about being trans, just the usual stuff that we sometimes get asked by others because we're trans. The woman said how she liked my energy and how I seemed happy. She asked me what my zodiac sign was. She also complimented me on my dress.

Anyways, this thread isn't about me. I am just wondering, has anyone else actually been called Caitlyn Jenner by a complete stranger? As if someone calling you Caitlyn Jenner is a way of saying they know you're trans, or some subtle way of teasing you about being trans?

[I Am Paula]

I've not been called Caitlyn YET.
Yesterday in line at the supermarket, I picked up THE Vanity Fair. The woman in front of me said 'Why would anybody do that to themselves.' I said 'I did, and it saved my life'. She looked shocked for a second, then said 'Yeah, but you look normal'.
I have no idea what she meant, but I don't think she was being transphobic in any way. Might even have been a compliment.

[Kaitlyn Michele]

I was called Chaz Bono once. No lie

[kimdl93]

I must say, it was a bit crass and presumptuous of this woman to call you that. I like e way you handled it.

[Jorja]

I would have responded my name is Michelle not Caitlyn. Don't ever forget that! Then I might have had a conversation with her.

[Kaitlyn Michele]

I guess i'd have a problem

I'd have to say "my name is not Caitlyn, its Kaitlyn"

[AllieSF]

I male mode at my local coffee shop and a young girl told me that I looked like Caitlyn Jenner. My only give away, I think .....???, was my long hair in a pony tail. I smiled and thanked her for the compliment.

[Dianne S]

Um, wow, that's a weird one. I wonder if it'll catch on as a non-pejorative codeword for someone to probe if you're trans? (I hope not.)

If someone called me that, I'd say "Optometry department is that-away, my dear..."

I'd have to say "my name is not Caitlyn, its Kaitlyn"

That's a great quote. Do you mind if I interview you? Maybe the network will pick it up as "Dianne interviewing Kaitlyn" ?

[PretzelGirl]

I haven't had it or any other name used to address me....yet.

Yesterday in line at the supermarket, I picked up THE Vanity Fair. The woman in front of me said 'Why would anybody do that to themselves.' I said 'I did, and it saved my life'. She looked shocked for a second, then said 'Yeah, but you look normal'.

I think you ran into someone who had no experience to derive a good thought from. Now she has an education and may look at it positively since a real person was in front of her instead of a magazine cover.

[Robin414]

I like the way you handled it as well...start a conversation, we're real people and have an interesting story to tell for sure!

[Sara Jessica]

A couple years back just after I cut off about 12" of my hair, my niece told me that she was bummed, that I had this Bruce Jenner thing going on.

[stefan37]

Guess you need some work on your presentation.

[Krisi]

That's pretty much what I was going to say.

[GenieGirl]

My mom called me Caitlyn Jenner when I was leaving her house the other day since my hair is so long.....she still doesn't know yet...

[Barbara Black]

Here's to being called Normal. Even if it was backhanded, it was a compliment from her.

[Sara Jessica]

Guess you need some work on your presentation.

That's pretty much what I was going to say.

That isn't very nice.

[stefan37]

On its face the comment sounds cruel. Getting read while passing a stranger that is far enough to that they have to yell. There must be clues that tipped her off. As a 58+ transitioner, I lived full-time for over 18 months without the benefit of FFS. I experienced my fair share of humiliation and misgendering. I would then think about what it was our ask somebody with me what they thought.

Unfortunately not everybody our there is so Polly Anna, that they just accept us and respect us. We need to work that much harder on erasing those male cues that give us away.

I was with my ex the other week getting lumber loaded on my truck. That asked if us ladies would like help and they offered to load the truck. I needed to load it a certain way, so I just jumped in and started to move it where it was needed. Afterward my ex said they were looking at me funny. I asked if my facial surgery was a failure. She replied no it was that way I moved. So yeah there are clues and if a stranger can pick up on them from a distance, then some more work is needed. That's the cruel fact.

[anna.h]

When I first read this, it didn't sit well with me -- it sounded like an insult. But then I started thinking about why she would have said that. Are there people who had no idea what a transgender person was before Caitlyn Jenner came out? It's as if she thinks Caitlyn Jenner is the original, and all others follow in her footsteps.

[Starling]

..."my name is not Caitlyn, its Kaitlyn"

Well, you could text it...

Lallie

[Michelle789]

That isn't very nice.

I think it would be nice to get some feedback from people who know me personally to find out what cues are responsible for getting me clocked. Saying "you need work" won't do a thing. Telling me what I should work on, objectively, will work - meaning don't say something just to be nice, and don't say something just to be mean. One difficulty I have is finding people who can be objective - most people are either too nice or too mean. I could decide that the people who are being too mean are telling the truth, but if that's the case than I really do have Aspergers and I really am going down a path of self-destruction.

My feeling is there are many not just one. The lucky ones have only one cue to work on. I believe my voice is one, and there are at least two others. I didn't open my mouth and she read me from a distance. I do still suspect people might be a bit more vocal about clocking us since Caitlyn came out.

Here is a picture of me with Jeffrey Tambor. I met him at Trans Pride on Saturday. I'm wearing the blue dress. Any cues from this picture that could get me read? And can it be corrected? I say that because there are some things that just can't be corrected. I know you can't pick up movements from a pic, but we can at least get visual cues.

[LeaP]

I'm wearing the blue dress. Any cues from this picture that could get me read?

Yes. Absolutely.

… It's the fact that you are sitting with Jeffrey Tambor.

(I detest that show.)

[Dianne S]

You look completely feminine to me. But you're sitting down... how tall are you when you stand up? Maybe that made you noticeable?

[Michelle789]

I'm 6 foot tall.

… It's the fact that you are sitting with Jeffrey Tambor.

This picture is from Saturday. I got called Caitlyn Jenner on Tuesday and I was not with Jeffrey Tambor on Tuesday. I'm just giving you my most recent picture so you can see what I look like.

[Badtranny]

Pictures are not the answer. Being 'read' is rarely about your look. It's almost always about your presentation and that includes everything from hairstyle to posture.

From the pic with Tambor I can see that you are carrying weight in a way that is typical for males. That alone isn't likely to 'out' you but if you add in voice, and mannerisms, and height, and posture, and gait, then you're as good as read, if you don't score female on most of those.

I can tell you from experience that it's the little things that linger into the first years that will get you every time.

At this stage of the game I would be horrified if someone read me from 10 yards away. This lady did you an immense favor. Take the lesson and start fine tuning your presentation.

Pro Tip:
For most of us, the 'little things' turn out to be the easiest things once we finally learn to stop editing ourselves. Remember who you were at 8 years old.

[Krisi]

Sarah, You may not feel that my comment was "nice", but it's obviously the truth. There's not much point in constantly posting "You look very feminine." or "You poor baby." If this forum is to be of any use to anyone, we have to be honest.

If you are trying to pass as a female and you are constantly read as a male, it's not the other people's problem, it's your problem. You need to examine your presentation or even have friends help you by pointing out your "non-female" looks or actions. And that's the truth.