Maybe Discovered by Friend.

[ChristinaK]

My best friend showed up at my hotel room with a bottle. We drank a lot, then I went to the bar to buy us more. Later, I discovered that he had put shaving cream on door knobs, threw towels in the tub,etc. In addition, he took the pillows off my bed and stashed them in my closet, loaded with women's clothes and shoes. If he looked in drawers he would have found wigs, jewelry, makeup,etc.

I called him and laughingly berated him for the tricks. He laughed as well. No hint of any issues.

Did he think those were my wife's clothes, who is due to visit soon? Did he not notice the patent leather pink Mary Jane's he set the pillows on? What do I do now? He is very anti gay and thinks Caitlyn is a freak (course, so does my wife). Just ignore what happened? Maybe he was so drunk it didn't register. Is that possible?

[Katey888]

OMG!!! Christina - that is the stuff my nightmares are made of...

Notwithstanding it's just those sort of antics that put me off a lot of guy stuff, it is just possible that he didn't notice, especially if he knew your wife was joining you sometime... sounds to me that has to be the top plausible, deniable justification if it is ever queried...

So yes - ignore what happened. Seems like he thinks it's a minor prank and will likely soon be forgotten - I feel sure he would have been less cheery if he had any suspicions.

I guess you also discovered something new about your best friend too... (pardon my little dig, but...) in that it's not right to be gay or trans* but it is OK to be infantile - but that's most guys, I suppose...

Chin up! Brazen it out...

Katey x

[charlenemichaels]

Maybe he was so drunk it didn't register.

Why not go with this scenario? Forget being paranoid. The way you had outlined the scene and then more bottles purchased, I'd take the gamble and be done. Fingers crossed it plays out that simple.

Just my take.
~Charlene

[DanaR]

Christina, it probably didn't register to him or else he would have said something to you. If he does say something, don't admit anything unless you want to.

[Nikki Heat]

I agree with Dana. If he had any real suspicions, he would have aired them right away. If it does come up, definitely go with the "they were my wife's things." He'd never have the balls to bring it up to her...to do so would open him up to her saying "what kind of pervert ARE you going through my lingerie?!?!"

[Marcelle]

Hi Christina,

I agree with the others in that he was probably so drunk and so intent on his shenanigans that he probably never even registered the female clothing and if he did, he probably assumed it was you wife's clothing brought in advance. Besides if he is super transphobic as you state, it is unlikely he would have even taken a call from you let alone laugh during the conversation. I would just forget it and chalk it up to a learning mistake. I would however brief your wife (I assume she knows about your dressing) so she is not thrown off should he come up to her and apologize for potentially ruining some of her clothing.

Cheers

Isha

[Claire Cook]

I think Isha nailed it (as usual...)

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Christina, Only time will tell, And maybe you will find out if he really is a friend.

[ChristinaK]

Thanks to all of you. He has not said anything about what happened, much to my relief. I have thought about throwing hints, but you are all correct, it's better to let a sleeping dog lie.

[Judith96a]

I agree regarding letting sleeping dogs lie. However, if he should attempt to make an issue of it my opening gambit would be so etching along the lines of "exactly what were you doing with my wife's lingerie? I'm sure that she would like to know." Anyone who knows my wife would think very carefully about what they would say next!

[bridget thronton]

Not sure I need a friend like yours in my life

[Jaylyn]

He seems like quite the prankster but maybe the joke is on him as he was too drunk to notice the sizes and that might not be your wife's clothes. Also he might have been in a hurry and just didn't dawn on him that your wife hadn't arrived yet... Being drunk I think if he would have noticed he might tell your wife later what he did to get a laugh out of her as well. She might be fore warned if you are out to her.

[Fany27ab]

If he is really your friend, and if he really notice thats your clothes, you should not have any problem
But if he noticed and dont support you, you need to find better friends

[Caden Lane]

Throwing hints is a huge red flag. I was a police investigator earlier in my life. That said, over explanation during an interview always threw up red flags. It makes a typical person who isn't even trained interrogator suspect there is more to the story than is being offered. Just let it lay. Say no more about it, do not hint at it, do not even bring up the evening or prank. To talk about the evening further may even hint at concerns or a nexus of importance about that night, which would be an indicator it wasn't just a typical evening. Many things happen in life that are worth remembering. Then there events which are just sort of "throwaways." Treat this a if it was a throwaway night, and completely unimportant in anyway.

Ever & Alway,
Caden Lane

[Sandie70]

I have a number of friends and family who still don't know a number of interesting things about me: that I'm bi, a crossdresser and have been "out" to most of the world (except them) for quite some time.

So, recently I have slowly and, in some cases unconsciously, been revealing myself to them... having both ears pierced and wearing some larger fake diamond studs all day long, not hiding my shaved legs, arms, chest and speaking out strongly in support of the transgendered. And when I'm at the mall with a friend, remarking how pretty some of the dress displays are... even once drilling a GG friend (who is puzzled by why I had both ears pierced) while shopping to explain how women's clothes are categorized and sized.

Of course, none of this shouts "I'm a crossdresser and bi!", but I think each little subliminal "reveal" will lessen the shock when I finally confess all. Of course, I have so many gay, lesbian and transgendered friends, they will probably react with "What's all the drama about? We had you clocked for a long time." (LOL)

Christina, I wonder if maybe your not hustling your male friend immediately out of your room might have been a subliminal way of doing your own "reveal." Maybe testing the waters in a way?

[pamela7]

here's the problem with letting sleeping dogs lie, to quote a few responses:

it means the prejucied, uninformed, lowest-level worldview prevails. Is the guy really a friend if he would think you a freak, or would (quite likely), the close contact of the real thing make it human and real to him and change his view?

I've been prejudiced in the past, and seen the errors of my ways. We don't know any better if we don't travel the world, see other cultures, realise our world views are not for imposing on others.

It just feel so victim-oriented to hide and effectively give power to the perceived prejudiced.
Rant over.

It needs no explanation cos to do such a prank likely means he was too drunk to be cognitive.

[Caden Lane]

@Pamela - In this case, it is not about letting the narrow world view continue to prevail. It is about being outed against her will. The odds are high that if they were to have an open, frank discussion about her dressing, it would not change his mind, he would continue to be a transphobe, and would likely go around letting anybody who listened know their mutual friend is a "freak." Mind you, thats a worst case scenario, but very likely. My brother is a transphobe/homophobe, and has more than likely been told by my ex-wife about my dressing, or at least what she knew at the time. He is still a homophobe/transphobe, in fact he is worse than ever, which is why I believe it was revealed to him. Closeness to an individual who IS what a person is phobic about will not lessen the shock, nor will it give them some sudden epiphany. To out herself simply to try and educate and inform her friend is huge risk, and the cost versus benefit is just too great. If you feel she should go out and educate the unenlightened masses, fine, thats great, this isn't the right battle for that; winning a fight is about choosing your battles wisely, namely the ones you know you can win.

In this case, I feel that by not talking about what they may or may not have seen is not empowering them; it is taking the power of their assumptions and ignorance from them. They cannot say or do anything when they have no confirmation or validation of their beliefs. The man was drunk, which may or may not speak volumes of his character, he pulled a childish, immature prank on an unsuspecting friend, again, his maturity level is in question. For Christina to throw her safety, privacy, and security to the wind in order to try and enlighten her "friend," is somewhat reckless and ill-advised.

Ever & Always,
Caden Lane