Do CD's really get to Appreciate "What Women Go Through'?
The other day a guy at work made a comment that he couldn't understand why his wife complains about all the effort she puts in to look good. He sounded really perplexed. Some of the other guys agreed, some said nothing as I did.
Just wondering what do you think you have a better appreciation for that you learned from cross-dressing? Anyone that sort of surprised you? I will add mine soon. Have you learned of some advantage women have that you didn't realize until you cross-dressed?
Not sure about advantage. What I have learned is that when we are going out somewhere special, she really takes time to look her very best -for her, and for me. At our age, she is not "on the pull". She simply wamts to look elegant and beautiful, and trust me, the end result is more than worth the time it takes.
OK, so I am a crossdresser. One of my main foundational thoughts is this. I will NOT be seen en femme in less than the best I can be in terms of style and presentation. If I am to present as a female, that is what I shall do. No beard stubble, chest hair, leg hair and so on. Anything less would for me, be insulting to the GGs we seek to emulate.
That said, this is only my view as it affects ME. If wou wish to present with leg hair, a beard or whatever, I will not criticise you. That is your choice, so feel happy. It is not mine.
Last edited by Amanda M; 07-13-2015 at 03:38 PM.
If you always do what you always did, you'll always get what you always got!
When it comes to getting ready to go out, purchasing clothes that actually work for our own bodies, yes, we can appreciate what a GG goes through. From there on it gets a little less likely that we really will appreciate all those other things that they go through unless we are out there as a woman 24/7, or at least a lot of the time.
Well ... "what women go through", is probably a hot button phrase.
There is a whole universe of "authentic female experience", that I cannot ever truly know. By the same token, no GG will ever understand "what a male-to-female transgender goes through".
We're similar, but completely different beasts. First cousins, maybe. There's a lot of common ground for sure.
Do I understand why it can take do long to get ready? UH ... YES! :-) it takes me upwards of 2 hours, if I'm doing it right, and I don't even have real hair to play with! On the other hand, a g GG doesn't have to deal with facial shaving, and trying to do beard cover without looking like a Vegas show girl at the supermarket, lol.
"Why shouldn't art be pretty? There are enough unpleasant things in the world." -Pierre-Auguste Renoir
My wife doesn't have to use makeup to look feminine, while I have to use it by the bucket load, just to give me a fighting chance of vaguely passing.Originally Posted by Sarasometimes
Rebecca
I think it actually takes a lot more work for Us to get ready than it does the average GG. We have to do a lot more cover up than they do and from the looks of today's average woman, they don't do all that much to actually take too long. Going out for an evening I can see it and yes, I have become a lot more patient with my SO taking a while to get ready because I know what all goes into it from CDing.
Flip Flops were made for Beaches & Bath Houses, We have neither in 2017. Lose the flip flops!
Presentation is such a small part of what women go through in this world of ours. Yes, it's the part y'all care about, but there is so much more to it.
If I were to think about "what women go through", I would start with that once a month thing. Being pregnant and having a baby doesn't sound like a piece of cake to me. In most cases, women's career opportunities are limited compared to men's. Then there's that need to look good while it's fine for a man to look like a slob.
It's not just about putting on makeup.
I do think that going out dressed can help us experience shedding our male privilege and being related to as "less than" or even objectified, as so many women are. But then, we can just shed the clothes and recapture that privilege, so I don't think we experience the chronic sense of frustration and hopelessness that a woman experiences living in a patriarchal world.
As for advantages to CD'ing, I have found that, when others relate to me as a woman, they are softer, less combative, and more willing to talk things out. Some of that could be what I project en femme vs. en drab, though.
Tristessa
I think we gain a greater appreciation of the body issues and societal standards women are unfairly measured against. When on gains that perspective, it's really heart breaking to think of the struggles and sadness imposed by unrealistic expectations.
Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one.
Eleanor Roosevelt
I do appreciate what a pain in the butt it is to try and look good.
Real women who work in offices or any place where their appearance is important
have to deal with it every day.
I only play with it a couple weekends a month. They have my respect for sure.
I do think it's harder for us, like others have said we have a lot of stuff to cover up
that real women don't. But it still requires much more effort than being a dude.
Last edited by Samantha2015; 07-13-2015 at 06:38 PM.
Hugs
Samantha
I can definitely appreciate the effort women go through to look their best, picking the best outfit and working on your makeup really can be a lot of work but the result can be worth it. The only "advantage" I see women having as experienced by CDing is that women can improve on their looks by accentuating features through makeup and clothes, where as a guy you're much more limited in what you can do to look good
The bottom line then way I see it is that maintaining looking nice takes a lot of work, plain and simple.
Second star to the right and straight on till morning
As far as dressing goes, that part didn't surprise me. I grew up not only with my mother, but also my grandmother and aunt. My first wife did Mary Kay for several years, but I do wish I had paid better attention.
Our first child was our daughter and about 6 years later our son was born. In total, I've spent a lot of time around the women in my family; nearly all of them were very aware of how society devalued them.
The key thing for me is how pervasive the notion of sexism is. I do think about this and although I often fail miserably, I am better than I used to be and sometimes I even get it right. The important thing is to understand how sexism is a drain on the lives of women and that we always have a choice not to buy into the idea.
DeeAnn
Hi Sara, Being in this program gives me a real appreciation for the feminine side of life.
Having my ears triple pierced is AWESOME, ~~......
I can explain it to you, But I can't comprehend it for you !
If at first you don't succeed, Then Skydiving isn't for you.
Be careful what you wish for, Once you ring a bell , you just can't Un-Ring it !! !!
All of this and then some......all I'll say is that if men had babies, there wouldn't be any
I think some of us do, to the point if we were/could become 'full on dudes' again we could be the ultimate players, but having been there/done that I can't imagine any of us would, having a complete appreciation and respect for the feminine condition ourselves! Just my thoughts☺
Yes, I think we appreciate the effort that our SO's put in to getting ready to go out a little more than a none dressing guy would. Obviously there are differences.. the amount of overall shaving/waxing that needs doing (I'm thinking chest and arms as well as the legs.. something most women don't have an issue with).
I think we are far more likely to be able to help our SO put together an outfit and be patient if things aren't perfect.. rather than the whole "oh just pick an outfit already!!".
And I think most of us are far more understanding when our SO sees that gorgeous pair of shoes that she just HAS to have.. we've all spotted clothes.. or shoes that have made us feel that tingle of need in us, so we can understand the need without getting worked up over the price etc.
So yes.. I think we are more likely to be understanding of a womans efforts to look good.. but as many have said, that is only a small part of the difference, we can never really go through the true trials of female life.. some might say unfortunately.
I have a great appreciation of what they go thru not only in the realm of make up and trying to look their best also the way men objectify them.
By objectify I mean the cat calls and hey baby looking good comments that can be quite unnerving at times when it happens to me.
Of course guys that do that to me need glasses.
I read the comments posted above. I'm wondering for whom the wife is trying to look good for? Is it for her husband? Is it to impress other women? Is it to hide some perceived imperfections? When my wife and I go out to be among others it really depends who the others are. My wife does not have to dress for me. She knows that. Yes, we are in the senior category now. That does not mean we are "dead." It just means we accept each other for who we are. So, when we are going to a social function, such as a wedding, she is dressing for others.
Now, if you ask me to backtrack several decades or more, she did spend a lot of time preening herself to impress me. I think she and most women have been conditioned to doll themselves up, and, that takes a lot of time. A lot of time mentally..planning. And, a lot of time doing the actual preening. Yes, there is an acknowledgement and appreciation for her efforts.
However, if you come to our home the picture that is prominently displayed in our living room is of her and I. She is leaning against my first car next to me. She is wearing really short shorts and a Superman tee shirt and barefooted. It is my favorite picture. At that stage in life makeup would have been a waste of time and only hid her natural beauty.
Sara,
It started for me as, yes, all of the effort that goes into trying to "look good". But now it's not so much about "the look" and what goes into achieving it. What I'm learning is how wonderful it is to be accepted as a woman, or at least a sort of reasonable facsimile of same, by other women -- and to learn to see life through their eyes. Sharing thoughts and talk with them is really where it seems to be for me. Not what they go through to look good -- more what they have to deal with in everyday life.
Hugs,
Claire
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC] Proud member of the Lacey Leigh Fan Club
Hi Sara,
In response to your questions. I think those who CD can gain an understanding of what women go through from a superficial (on the surface perspective). Specifically, what women go through to get ready, make-up, hair/wig, clothing choice all in an effort to look as good as one wishes to. Now for those who go out in public, other insight might be gained by as Tracii indicated . . . objectified by the odd guy or two who processes "woman" and proceeds to leer, stare, cat-call or whatever. You may also gain an appreciation of just going about your day and dealing with things like manipulating a purse and parcels while trying to open a door, walking in heels, holding your skirt down during a particularly windy day. However, these are all superficial abstracts of dressing and presenting. IMHO this is akin to a friend of mine who for a historical documentary (he is an actor), volunteered to live a week as a Roman soldier. This included dressing in typical historical clothing and armour, living rough in the wilds, eating as the soldiers did, no modern day conveniences whatsoever. He was able to get an appreciation of what it meant to dress, live and eat like a Roman soldier, but not a true appreciation of what it really meant to be a Roman soldier because he was not socialized as such from birth (i.e., citizen of the empire, schooling, military service, war, battles and whatnot).
So while a CDer can gain appreciation on a surface level, they will not be able to truly understand what it means to be a woman because they lack early socialization as such. Now before anyone goes off on a tangent, I am responding to the OPs question "Do CDs really get to appreciate" and we know it will be different for those who meander further right of CD.
Cheers
Isha
I'm always looking very close at women's makeup and I'm amazed at the precision they can apply it with. Sometimes it's just pure artistry and I'm envious of the canvas they get to start with. I guess the obvious advantage is that they're female to begin with. Curves generally in the right place and bone structure more feminine. Sometimes when I look at video it looks like a large primate got into my Carla closet.
I've waited so long for this time. Makeup is so frustrating. Shaking hands and I look so old. This was a mistake.
My new maid's outfit is cute. Sure fits tight.
And then I step into the bedroom and in the mirror, I see a beautiful woman looking back at me.
Smile, Honey! You look fabulous!
When I read this thread and many like it, I have to wonder what sort of women people are looking at. Many, many women wear little or no makeup to work. Factory workers, postal carriers, warehouse workers, and many times, housewives (home makers). They may get "dolled up" once a week to go out but that's it. And, for whatever reason, many women have given up (or never had) the "hot chick" look.
Being a woman is far more than putting on makeup.
This is where I was going with this thread. Things I have learned about this subject from CDing that were sort of expected are; makeup, even if you are good at it takes time to both put on and remove not to mention the time to buy it, keeping your brushes clean, most high heels do hurt to walk in for any real length of time, good looking hair is time consuming (I really love this part though).
One's that were a bit unexpected; being vulnerable when moving about and the need to be aware of who and what is around you, couple this with shoes and an outfit that limits your movements, the sheer number of items one has to decide to have on/with you (control brief, tights, skirt, shoes or boots, bra, top, shawl/sweater, earrings, bracelets/necklaces/rings, handbag, purse then see above makeup...
One positive I didn't expect to discover and one I now do even in drab are the little pleasant side comments made to strangers like compliments and other pleasantries along with smiling more! These really do make life more upbeat!
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