To change your brain or your body?

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Sarah, I don't want to change anything, I have the best of both worlds.

[sarahcsc]

Sarah,

It seems you seem surprised that option A seems to be the most common option that people are selecting. I think like Isha said a lot of how your question would be answered depends on where someone tends to fall on the gender spectrum.

Hi Paula,

It isn't the number of people that have chosen A which surprises me, it is its implication. Choosing A is really an act of defiance against society in order to preserve the self, while B is the opposite. The C option can be viewed both ways.

I'm surprised that so many people have chosen to defy society in order to remain who they are. In my culture, we do the opposite to preserve social harmony. If I wasn't so dysphoric about my gender, I would've chosen B in order to get that little nuisance of crossdressing out of me forever.

But I realised that it is in my dysphoria that I also learned compassion, kindness and patience. Hence, it isn't always a bad thing to feel miserable as along as we can transcend it and not get too preoccupied with it.

There are still some who chose the option B, albeit rare. I suspect this will always be the case because nobody wants their identity modified through artificial (surgical) means.

A change in identity has to be a gradual and arduous process that only the person themselves can decide to undertake. This allows for integration of the 'old' self and the 'new' so the change would appear seamless. To be honest, I would dread a change of personality which happened overnight!

If the part(s) of your brain that causes 'procrastination' was identified, would you then choose to zap it? I mean... I know I would be so much more productive!! Lol

Love,
S

[Krisi]

The year is 2015 and you don't need a new surgical method to stop your cross gender behavior once and for all. If you really want to stop it, just do it. Tell yourself "no more crossdressing" and stick to it. It may not be as easy as brain surgery, but you can do it if you really want to. Just like quitting smoking, alcohol or recreational drugs.

[kimdl93]

So easy. Change the body.

[Kate Simmons]

I think the point for myself would be somewhat moot as in 100 years I would be 168. The bottom line is that we are who we are for a reason and are exactly who we are supposed to be, regardless of what we choose to do.

[sarahcsc]

The year is 2015 and you don't need a new surgical method to stop your cross gender behavior once and for all. If you really want to stop it, just do it. Tell yourself "no more crossdressing" and stick to it. It may not be as easy as brain surgery, but you can do it if you really want to. Just like quitting smoking, alcohol or recreational drugs.

Hi Krisi,

I'm fascinated by your insight.

You are the first, as far as I know, on a forum like this, who compares the desire to engage in crossgender behaviour to addiction to substances.

You are also the first, as far as I know, on a forum like this, who claims that one could stop it by just willing it.

Can you please tell me more because I assume you speak from personal experience?

I would love to stop this once and for all without feeling well... utterly miserable and suicidal. You know... It happens.

Love,
S

[Krisi]

If not crossdressing would cause you to feel suicidal, you need more help than I can give you. See a professional ASAP.

The bottom line is, it is you who chooses to put on a bra and panties instead of a T shirt and briefs. It is you who choses to put on a skirt and blouse rather than trousers and a shirt. It is you who chooses to put on a wig and makeup.

I'm not suggesting that anyone stop doing this, I am saying that anyone can stop if he wants or needs to.

[sarahcsc]

If not crossdressing would cause you to feel suicidal, you need more help than I can give you. See a professional ASAP.

The bottom line is, it is you who chooses to put on a bra and panties instead of a T shirt and briefs. It is you who choses to put on a skirt and blouse rather than trousers and a shirt. It is you who chooses to put on a wig and makeup.

I'm not suggesting that anyone stop doing this, I am saying that anyone can stop if he wants or needs to.

Ah, of course.

That is to say that one can control one's actions the way one controls which foot to put forward first when walking. In fact, I can even choose not to walk and just stand still in one location.

None of this take into account of the time factor however.

For example, I can stand still in the middle of a busy road for as long as I want but how long will I be able to do so without feeling the need to move again due to whatever reasons (ie. fatigue, fear of being run over by a car etc)

Sure, I can stop crossdressing. It is my choice, like you said. But it would be meaningless without a time factor.

How long do you reckon that a person can stop crossdressing before dressing again due to whatever reason?

Have you been able to stop dressing indefinitely? If yes, you need to teach me, and you need to do better than saying 'just do it' because 'just do it' didn't work for me, and it didn't work for a lot of people here. I wonder why...

Also, if one can stop the behaviour but continue to think about it all the time, is that considered 'stopping'? What are your thoughts?

Love,
S

ps: I do seek professional help, and I'm a professional myself.

[Confucius]

I have had a compulsion to crossdress for as long as I can remember. (Yes, even as a 3year old child.) For just about the same time, I have been trying to make this compulsion go away. I believe I set a record for not crossdressing (18 years), but the urges were alway, always there. Even in the years when I would not crossdress, I would fantasize about it.

I can understand all those who want to remain the way they are today. After all, crossdressing makes them happy, and is a great source of comfort. However, I could not live as a female indefinitely. I love being a man too. So where does that leave me???

My answer would be to make my brain fit my body. I may be losing the happiness and comfort associated with crossdressing, but people who have no urges to crossdress are not less happy than crossdressers. They fill their lives with other things that make them just as happy. I imagine that if I was not a crossdresser then my life would be just as happy, just as fulfilled, just as interesting as ever. Making my brain fit my body would lose nothing, and only make my life more authentic. Yes, MORE AUTHENTIC, because I would be hiding nothing from those people in my life that I love.

[Dana44]

a) Leave everything unchanged and continue with life the way it is.
b) Alter your brain to reflect your body
c) Alter your body to reflect your brain


I would select A. However, I may work on the C a bit. I would not do any surgery on my body for anything except emergency problems.

[natcrys]

In order for it to be an effective thought experiment, some parameters have to be set in place, hence the entire scenario. Okay, the part with the corgi was unnecessary...

Of course, parameters and boundary conditions have to be there, I agree. I guess I just think that the whole sadness part is irrelevant to the question that is asked. But let's agree to disagree.

You can't say it is an unrealistic premise. There are still 79 countries where it is illegal to be homosexual and 10 of those countries prescribe the death penalty (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/LGBT_r...y_or_territory).

Just because you live in a progressive nation does not preclude discrimination of others. Would you deprive them the option of B despite the real risks of dying? At least give them the option to consider maybe?

I wouldn't deprive anyone of anything. And I don't judge anyone who would choose option b) to protect themselves from a harsh backwards bigoted society like the ones you listed in your link. But that is clearly an external factor and doesn't tell me anything about how a person genuinely feels about their crossdressing.

I would also not judge left-handed persons if they would alter their brain so that they would become right-handed (as this was frowned upon in the early 20th century.. and in the centuries before that.. could lead you to be branded a witch or heretic).

[kimdl93]

Sure, I can stop crossdressing. It is my choice, like you said. But it would be meaningless without a time factor.

How long do you reckon that a person can stop crossdressing before dressing again due to whatever reason?

.

How long? Perhaps a lifetime, but, I suspect it would be a miserable lifetime. Many of us have endured fairly long periods without performing the physical act of cross dressing. And I think it's safe to say that many of us were miserable during the entire period of abstinence (or repression...however on wishes to characterize it.) And it's safe to say that the misery impacted upon other aspects of many of our lives to a greater or lesser extent.

I've known, and for part of my life been one of those who endured their lives, rather than living happy, fulfilling lives. The question...the thought experiment...really shouldn't be on whether suppression of CDing, as physical act is possible, but whether it's possible to live happily under such constraints.

I would argue that it is not.