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Thread: You see a crossdresser in the street?

  1. #1
    New Member Suzann3's Avatar
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    Mar 2015
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    You see a crossdresser in the street?

    Here is an interesting question. You are walking down the street, going to work or wherever. You are dressed as yourself and not 'en femme'. You see a person coming towards you who is a male dressed 'en femme', what are your initial thoughts? What are your reactions?
    Wearing female clothes at home both relaxes me and makes me feel good - realising my feminine side makes me a better man

  2. #2
    Silver Member I Am Paula's Avatar
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    Aug 2012
    Ontario Canada
    Cute shoes.
    No reaction.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member Angie G's Avatar
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    Jun 2006
    just west of syracuse n.y.
    I'd say hello And be on my way.Or maybe say nice outfit.

  4. #4
    Member vicky_cd99_2's Avatar
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    Sep 2014
    Western Washington
    I do as I do with all people. I nod my head and say good morning or what ever time of day it is. Sometimes I look back to check out there backside if I like what they are wearing.

  5. #5
    Silver Member STACY B's Avatar
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    Jan 2012
    South Miss
    Top of the Day to you Mam,,,, Wonderful weather we are having ,,, Have a Nice Day,,,,

  6. #6
    Call me Pam pamela7's Avatar
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    Jan 2015
    SW England
    It's difficult, cos it depends on the person. If they avoid eye contact then i'm just radiating a happy smile, if there's eye contact, then definitely "hi sis" or something appropriate.
    I used to believe this, now I'm in the company of many tiggers. A tigger does not wonder why she is a tigger, she just is a tigger.

    thanks to krististeph: tigger = TG'er .. T-I-GG-er

  7. #7
    Platinum Member Teresa's Avatar
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    Dec 2013
    To my knowledge I have seen two, no I correct that three including myself !
    The first when on holiday in the English Lake District, we were staying in a rented cottage and I popped into a general store to get some milk, there was line of several shoppers waiting to pay and in the middle was a CDer, very smartly dressed possibly too well maybe late fifties and I could sense her getting more tense the longer the checkout took. I really felt for her and was desperate to say something outside the shop after being served to see if I could calm her down, but I was too far back in the line and she was long gone when I left the shop.
    The second time was on a trip to San Francisco , I was sitting on a cable car at the bottom of Market Street when I noticed a tall, attractive, well dressed coloured girl . She knew I'd clocked her , we both exchanged that knowing look and a smile but she was loving every minute of it ! It made me feel good for the rest of the day seeing a CDer so comfortable when dressed.
    Last edited by Teresa; 07-05-2015 at 09:12 AM.

  8. #8
    Senior Member UNDERDRESSER's Avatar
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    Feb 2011
    Usually, wearing a skirt somewhere
    I haven't been able to interact with any of the few I have seen, but I would have liked to chat with some of those I've seen. There was one obvious male wearing a long loose skirt, and another time a couple dressed to the nines who were being stopped for selfies with the public, one of those was a "Nurse" can't remember what the other was dressed as. Still not 100% sure they were drag artists, but the look was...extreme? And about 6'8" for both!
    "Normal is what you get when you average out the weirdness that everybody has." Quote from my SO

    Normal is a setting on a washing machine, or another word for average.

    The fact that I wear a skirt as a male should not be taken as a comment on what you do, or do not wear, or how you wear it.

  9. #9
    Member jigna's Avatar
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    Jun 2015
    I will try to communicate with him, for sure.

  10. #10
    Gold Member bridget thronton's Avatar
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    Jun 2006
    Michigan USA
    Just smile and let her enjoy her time out

  11. #11
    Aspiring drama queen Isabella Ross's Avatar
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    Aug 2014
    A polite smile and nod or a quick hello if the opportunity presents itself. Perhaps compliment on her attire if I get a response.

  12. #12
    Did you say shopping? Caden Lane's Avatar
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    Jan 2014
    Savannah, GA
    Allow me to relate two short anecdotes, take from them what you will. I agreed to meet another CD for a girls night out in the town. She had a beautiful polished look, but that's where it stopped. Her behaviors were very masculine, from her applying makeup right at the dinner table to the hamfisted way she applied her lipgloss. Then, when we got to the clubs, she was very open to everyone that we were crossdressers. It allowed us a large entourage of women who sought to be in our company, and was sort of fun. But I tend to dress to blend. I do not wish o be outed as a CD. I simply wish to be seen as yet another woman in the crowd.

    Another time a well meaning person, who claimed to be a CD saw me when I was out with several GG friends. This person approached, and simply said, I crossdressers as well! I love your outfit. Now, what if I were transsexual, and my companions were unaware of my diagnosis? I'd have been mortified in that instance. What if I were a woman who used to play softball in high school? What if I simply did not wish to be outed against my will in public?

    Which is precisely what happened in both instances, I was outed, against my will in public. Both situations were rather benign, my GG friends knew the deal. And in the other, I still managed to have fun. But you cannot simply see someone in public and assume,
    "Why yes, it's appropriate to say something to them." Your assumption may be wrong and you may embarrass at the very least your self if not the other party. Or worse, that may be their very first outing, and you may spook them from ever wanting to go out again because you clocked them.

    If you must do anything, simply engage them as a person, talk to them, validate them, but do not assume they are merely a CD or assume they are a CD who won't mind being clocked. That's just my take and feelings in it, I may be wrong. But I've been in those shoes twice, and it was a real put off to me. That first instance I related drove me from dressing for two months, which in turn triggered my PTSD. To me, those consequences were real and severe enough. It made me fully cognizant of just how dependent I am in Caden as my therapy and outlet, how much Caden represents a coping mechanism. So just please be careful about unintentionally outing someone. By all means, treat her like another person, validate her, and if she brings up she crossdresses, then that may be your segue into telling her about you.

    Ever & Always,
    Caden Lane
    "These aren't 'women's clothes'. These are my clothes. I bought them with my own money."
    Eddie Izzard

    I'm flipping genders, what's your super power?!?!

    Please visit my wordpress blog:

  13. #13
    Transgender Person Pat's Avatar
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    May 2014
    Boston Area
    This question keeps coming up in various forms. I'm pretty sure the right answer is to treat everyone the same as you would any other stranger. The fact of their crossdressing is no more your business than it is the business of non-crossdressers also on the street. If you want to show solidarity, go put your girl clothes on.

  14. #14
    New "old" girl Suzie Petersen's Avatar
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    Jan 2015
    I am lost, and I like it. Don't find me!
    I completely agree wity Caden and Jennie. Dont out T people, even if you are clever enough to figure them out.

    Treat people you meet with respect nomatter who they are or whatever they are wearing.

    If you want to be especially nice to someone you think might be a CD or TS woman, the best way to make their day is to treat them like any other woman you meet. If you let it be known you have read her, you could be the one who completely ruined her day out.
    Dont be that guy.

  15. #15
    Senior Member Ceera's Avatar
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    Nov 2014
    Eugene, Oregon, USA
    Generally, I try to treat them the same as I would treat any genetic girl I happened to meet for the first time. I give them a polite smile and maybe a wave of the hand, or if they look comfortable and are looking good, perhaps I complement their appearance. If they look tense or uncomfortable I don't try to interact at all. I remember seeing one CD in Nordstrom's rack. She had been in the shoe section and was walking rather briskly toward the exit without any purchases, looking rather as if she had just been embarrassed and was wishing to get out of there fast before she got embarrassed again. I let her go by without any visible reaction from me, though I later asked my daughter if she had noticed her too.

    If I happen to start talking with someone and they admit to being TG or cross dressing, I might let them know I do it too.

    In a social environment where I am also dressed, when I see another CD I smile, wave, and perhaps make a polite comment like merely saying hello, or 'hello girls', if there are more than one. But I still say nothing that indicates they are not real girls, unless they open that topic. As one of the earlier posters stated, what if they don't want to be outed? Or what if you're wrong, and that person really is a girl?

    Personally, when I'm dressed I really prefer to be treated as if I am a real girl. I dress to blend in and to look as much as I can manage like a real girl. So it would bother me if some strange guy blurted out a comment about me being a cross dresser in a public setting. And I won't do that to anyone else.

  16. #16
    Gold Member alwayshave's Avatar
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    Dec 2011
    Washington, DC
    I once saw a member of this forum in Macy's at the Pentagon City Mall in Arlington VA. I mentioned her to my fiancee who said why don't you go say hi. I stated no, I don't want to embarrass her though I did smile. I know if I was in a similar situation, I would not want to be approached.

  17. #17
    Martini Girl Katey888's Avatar
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    Dec 2013
    Old Hampshire, UK
    The more I see of folk here in a non-social setting wanting to engage others they think are another CDer, the more it puts me off doing anything in the real world...

    My initial thoughts would be: Interesting - happens rarely (I can count on the fingers of one hand CD/TG/TS folk I've definitively seen away from a specific event) - check makeup, outfit, walk, all in passing - make note to post here.

    No reaction and no interaction.

    For anyone thinking of interacting, consider:

    - You approach a GG who appears a little more masculine than average... how rude would that be?
    - You approach a transitioning TS who just doesn't feel or need any affinity from a closet CDer and certainly not in public... also rude...
    - You approach an undercover cop...

    In my opinion, this recommendation should find its way into 'The Crossdresser's Handbook', 3rd edition:

    Quote Originally Posted by Jennie-cd View Post
    The fact of their crossdressing is no more your business than it is the business of non-crossdressers also on the street. If you want to show solidarity, go put your girl clothes on.
    If you really want to socialise with others, simply go to an event - they're safe, great fun, and you're unlikely to offend anyone... or be arrested... unless you go with Adriana...

    Katey x
    "Put some lipstick on - Perfume your neck and slip your high heels on
    Rinse and curl your hair - Loosen your hips, and get a dress to wear"
    Stefani Germanotta

  18. #18
    Junior Member
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    Jul 2015
    I wouldn't say much but admirer her for being out as she is and day dream of when I get there too.

  19. #19
    Silver Member Debra Russell's Avatar
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    Jun 2010
    If it is that obvious it makes me a little uneasy and I would hope this person may acquire the skills to at least walk down the street and appear more feminine. I would acknowledge her in a friendly manner and also feel a kinship of sorts knowing we all have roots and beginnings that are similar ................................Debra

  20. #20
    Silver Member Jodi's Avatar
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    Aug 2005
    This question comes up often on this MB. You make a siting of what you think is a cd. Don't ever bet the bank on it.

    Reminds me of something that I saw happen years ago. I was out with a group of cd's at a social function. There were a couple of guys who were hecklers. They thought they were going to be real funny and pull the wig off of one of the cd's. They picked out a tall girl to pull her wig. When they pulled, it was real hair on a real girl. They pulled her down on her back. When she screamed, two big guys with the girl proceeded to kick the crap out of the two guys. They then called the police and had them arrested for assault.

    The moral to the story. Be careful. Just because someone might look like a cd, does not mean she is one.


  21. #21
    always lurking geek's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    Capital city of Iowa
    I wouldn't do anything, as much like most people when out and about, I pay little if any attention to others. There might be a passing thought or a second look, but that second look could mean many things...
    Most any thing I post is from my phone, this is why my answers are short and also why I don't post all to often.

  22. #22
    Banned Read only
    Join Date
    Apr 2010
    First, I strike up a conversation with her. Then, I guide her out of the street so she doesn't get hit by a car. Finally, I excuse myself and go on my merry way.

  23. #23
    Aspiring Member Sarah-RT's Avatar
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    Aug 2006
    When I was out for the Pride parade in Dublin last month there were a number of drag queens and various amounts of inbetweens, and a lot of the time I thought I was the only one of us out that day but while waiting in a bar for one of my friends to come back with the drinks I noticed another girl who was only slightly shorter than me and had very similar hair who appeared to be avoiding eye contact with most of the other people in the area like I was.

    I figured that she was in fact a crossdresser too and wanted to go and give a quick hello as the day was for LGBT pride and I dont personally know any other CDers, I decided against going over for a few reasons, 1. I didnt want to be like ''Ive seen through your disguise'' as I didnt want anyone to do that to me either, Secondly I thought if it was a GG id be insulting her and Id look like a bit of a fool. We did make eye contact as obviously I was staring but every time I looked away and glanced back she was looking back over so I figured she was probably thinking the same thing.

    Sarah x
    I cant stand to fly, I'm not that naive. I'm just out to find the better part of me. I'm more than a bird, I'm more than a plane, I'm more than some pretty face beside a train. Its not easy to be me.

  24. #24
    Junior Member nevarrie's Avatar
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    Nov 2012
    Kasnas City, Kansas
    Usually a big smile and continue on my way. I know most of the time I would not want to be approached so I never approach anyone else. But I have found that smiling at people will usually bring a smile to their face where they at GG or CD.

  25. #25
    Member Tabitha_Lynn's Avatar
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    Aug 2012
    Louisiana, USA
    I would treat her as anyone else I encounter.

    If I knew her, I would acknowledge and say hi. I would also hope that anyone who saw me would do the same.

    So if you see me out, feel free to say hi.

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