I have been thinking about this for a long time. I've been going through transition now full-time for 3 years. As I've progressed into a "pretty woman," I have noticed more and more men making eyes at me or flirting with me. I'll never forget the first time a man opened the door for me at a gas station. He literally ran about 40 or 50 feet just to grab the door and hold it open for me. It was such a cool feeling and really made me feel good about myself.
Since then I've had other experiences that have caused me to start ignoring men. Purposely not making eye contact with them, not smiling, not doing anything to draw attention to myself. Even though I love dressing "sexy" and feeling the same way; I also struggle within myself when out in public. I find myself feeling like I'm somehow deceiving men. Even though I know I'm not. That is not my intention. I'm just wearing clothes that make me feel good yet I can't help but have these kinds of irrational thoughts attached to these feelings. I'm guessing most men that are attracted to me are because they assume I have the "right" body parts. Yet as a pre-op transsexual I know I don't have that yet.
Even though I love to dress and feel sexy, these thoughts and feelings prevail whenever I do. Even now sitting here wearing short, shorts and a top that reveals some cleavage (first time ever) I still find myself not wanting to make any eye contact or have any kind of interaction with men. All due to these nagging thoughts and feelings I have. Does or has anyone else had this experience? If so, how do you handle it?
Paulette