You Goal as a Crossdresser

[Krisi]

Reading the posts here, I have come to realize that we have many different goals as regards to crossdressing. Not goals as what we want to do or be in the future, but just our goals dressing each day.

For some, it seems to be wearing the clothes. Not trying to look or act like a woman, just wanting to wear the dresses or heels. For some, it's going out in public as a "man in a dress" to see how people react.

For others, there's a greater effort to look like a woman. Breast forms, wigs, makeup and jewelry. We may go out in public attempting to pass or blend in as women or we may just parade around the house looking in the mirror or taking photos.

The reason I posted this thread is, I recently saw a post in the photo gallery of a girl who had gone to a lot of trouble to get a makeover and get all dolled up and had photos taken. In many of the shots she looked like a beautiful woman, but in the shot from directly in front, she looked like a beautiful man. Her body was as straight as a 2X4 from her armpits to her knees. I've seen many other photos that were similar. A lot of work on the outfits, hair and makeup, but no thought for the figure.

I didn't say anything because she didn't ask, but folks, if you want to look like a woman, you have to add some padding. Look at woman's clothing size charts and you'll see that the hip measurements are usually slightly bigger than the bust and the waist is considerably smaller. Remember the term "hourglass figure"? That's what we have to aim for. Fail to do that and you'll be read every time. Boobs and a wig won't do it.

[Kate Simmons]

My goal is always the same, to have fun with it.

[kimdl93]

I agree. If one is seeking to be perceived as a woman, a certain amount of shaping is essential. The appearance of a waist and hips touches some primeval receptor in the brain. It may not totally offset other masculine features, but certainly helps set expectations.

[Sarah-RT]

Not all women are hourglass obviously, you must not have heard of the apple or pear shapes. With that said, yes being as straight as a two by four can be a give away but it depends on the goals. Around the house or for a personal photo, what does it matter, the person is happy doing what they are doing. The same goes for going outdoors too, most of us won't venture out unless we are happy with our look.

Sarah x

[CynthiaD]

Lots of women are straight as two-by-fours. The hourglass figure is for models.

[Katey888]

Krisi - my first read of this just tweaked my dogma alarm... and Sarah's summarised the issue here for me quite well - when you say:

Remember the term "hourglass figure"? That's what we have to aim for. Fail to do that and you'll be read every time.

- you're obviously not looking at how the 'average' woman looks anywhere nowadays. Hourglass had it's heyday a few decades back and has made a bit of a revival lately, but there are still plenty of non-hourglass women out there and for me, it's never been much of an attention grabber. I've personally always preferred more athletic-type physiques so I think your assertion that we'll be read because we don't have that type of figure falls flat: there are plenty of other reasons beyond that why we may be read, and just 'passing' isn't necessarily why many of us do the things we do.

In the same way that GGs come in all shapes and sizes (rarely hourglass...) so do we - and more than that our individual motivation for doing what we do is rarely exactly the same and - aside from those who may deliberately set out to offend, which are few - I think we need to positively respect the rights of everyone to dress and feel good about it, however they do it and however they look.

Personally, I don't like too much padding - we are what we are and while a good dose of makeup is as much of a facade as some GGs use, padding just seems weirdly false to me... (and yes, I realise the apparent hypocrisy of that feeling )

There are more than enough muggles out there who will judge us for simply doing this without us judging each other on the correctness of our presentation. There are no right and wrongs with this - do what you feel is right and good for you...

Katey x

[njcddresser]

A great question. I can't say that I have any set goal. I've know my entire life that I had very strong feminine desires and finally acted upon them about a year and a half ago. It has been a journey of self-awareness and self awakening. I love the person that I have become and have embraced every moment. So if I have a goal, I guess it will be to continue to embrace the feminine me and enjoy every moment of it!

[jigna]

I just wear it for pleasure and a satisfaction.
My goal is to grow my breast size from 38 to 42.

[bridget thronton]

To each her own - i observed what Katie has women my age have all shapes. I decided that being natural was the best way for me to go.

[Zylia]

While I think everyone should set their own 'goals', I do consider padding a necessity for practically everyone if you want a decent presentation. 'Hourglass' may be too strong of a word, but women in general do have certain proportions that a lot of crossdressers do not have. Hip pads help a lot in that regard. You may consider them 'false' or whatever, everyone's free to draw that line at any arbitrary point. More power to you if you don't want or need them, I'm just glad I do not look like an actual pencil in a pencil skirt.

[cheryl reeves]

with me womens clothes fit me better then mens clothes,for mens clothing just hangs off me for ive always been between sizes,ex. a womens 18 fits and looks better then a mans 38 which hangs on me. ive never had to add padding,other then bra fillers.

[Dana44]

h'm strangely my measurements are 38 30 38. The perfect hourglass is 36 24 36. So, I may be skinny and look like a 2x4 but I do look sexy when I'm dressed. I'm tall like a model and sure do look at their manners and clothing. Perhaps we are getting used to big hips. I like what I have.

[pamela7]

The goal topic has been extensively discussed before, on the forum. Personally I've had enough goals at work to live without another one in the rest of my life. I'm grateful to enjoy the CD experience without goals.

[Adriana Moretti]

I'm with Kate.....my goal is to just have fun with it...I will set small goals like " I must master putting on false lashes" or...'I need to travel more"...but no no goals.....and as far as padding...i like to show myself " as advertised" ...that way there is no fooling anyone when its time to undress, wink wink....

[Rachael Leigh]

Kate Simmons Im with you just have fun. I've gone out a few times and always enjoyed it. Did I fear someone might notice sure but so what it's none of their business. So do I try my best to pass sure I do but know overall I don't its just the experience for me.

[Nef]

For my part, i can say i got no goal at all.. I can't dress up all the time unfortunately and as soon as i can, i remove that men outfit. I do everything I feel like doing but in femme.. and the difference is, I just feel sexier while doing stuff around the house

[Candice June Lee]

My wife is straight and square like a 2x4. Only now she gained some weight and has larger breasts. She looks good in better than that to me. Kinda my model. Not to big on the breasts and make the rest work in clothing styles. I am just taller and thicker than she in the same proportions so the help issue there should be easy.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Krisi, My goal is to look as feminine as possible with breast forms and hip pads.

[Tracy Hazel Lee]

I can always extract fun from my dressing, but my goal, is to be happy with my presentation. A big part of that, is making sure that I do everything I can to hide as many male cues as possible, and at the same time, create a feminine shape. My hips and butt need a LOT of help in that area, so my padded garments are an absolute must. I get great satisfaction in putting on a dress, straight off the rack, and having it fit and shape to me in all the right places. Without padding, this would not be possible. To myself, these garments are no different than, and fill the exact same role, as breastforms. They all provide me with shape in areas where I don't naturally have it.

[UNDERDRESSER]

Lots of women are straight as two-by-fours. The hourglass figure is for models.

Hah! Don't think so. There is a bit of a swing back to more womanly ( hourglass ) figures lately, but the biggest trend has been stick thin for quite some time.

[Jenniferathome]

..., but folks, if you want to look like a woman, you have to add some padding. ...Remember the term "hourglass figure"? That's what we have to aim for. Fail to do that and you'll be read every time. Boobs and a wig won't do it.

I disagree. Padding is one more step to aid the illusion but it is not THE answer because there is no "THE" answer. If you are a cross dresser, there are a million other subtle cues that tell every person you interact with that you are a man. Perfect padding would not alter a persons impression of me as I ordered dinner or asked for help in a store. I am more commonly mistaken for a transsexual, I believe, rather than a cross dresser. I think that is about the best a man can hope for.

[Amy Fakley]

Well ... my "goal" when I'm dressing really is just to drop my masculine fascade and just let my girly self out into the world for a little while. Looking in the mirror and seeing a girl really helps, and to the extent that shapers and padding help me construct a presentation that doesn't trip my subconscious visual bs detector .. I will most definitely use them to the fullest.

unless it's hot out, because ... girl, it's like 200 degrees outside where I live, and sometimes it's just nice to put on a sundress and be in the sun, without sweating gallons into my corset, and my pads, and my forms ...

So I'm just sayin ... sometimes I just want to be pretty and comfortable ... and sometimes that means I have a really dudely shape for a lady.

C'mon Fall! Knee boots, opaque tights and sweater dresses! :-)

[flatlander_48]

Ladies, we must remember that Olive Oyl does exist! Perhaps not a 2x4, but similarly shaped.

Anyway, my goal would be reaching a state where I am comfortable with my presentation. That would be a mixture of clothes, shaping, makeup and attitude. I have hit it from time to time, but it isn't consistent. Usually I'm OK with my presentation, but every now and then it is "You got it goin' on, Baby Girl!!". Usually, if you look good, you feel good. And if you feel good, you're more likely to be pleased with how you look.

Classic Hourglass? No, but Semi Hourglass may be more descriptive as I have enough in back, but the hips are lacking a bit. With 38DD forms and no padding below the waist, I would be 42-34-43...

DeeAnn

[Hell on Heels]

Goals?
Save 'em for soccer, or hockey games.
You can use the padding there too!
I prefer to go without it myself.
Much Love,
Kristyn

[jemima_bates]

My hips and butt need a LOT of help in that area, so my padded garments are an absolute must. I get great satisfaction in putting on a dress, straight off the rack, and having it fit and shape to me in all the right places.

Me too! I can't do without the padding. However, as others have said, if that's not your bag then so be it.

My goals: to present an image that I can photograph that is attractive to me, and to be as damn sexy as possible!

Jemima x