Baby steps towards figuring this all out

[Jessica5536]

I've been secretly dressing up for most of my life, but I have always been at home and hidden away. I really want to actually move towards getting out of the house and possibly going out to a safe bar or some place where I can just enjoy being out of the house in a safe environment (and not be completely out of place).

I'm not even worried about passing, I don't think that I'll probably ever be able to achieve that (I have a very square build). I just don't want to look completely ridiculous. So, I'm watching a bunch of youtube videos on how to apply makeup and such, but I just feel completely out of depth by all of this.

I don't know... I've been looking at some makeover services that say that are crossdresser friendly. I was thinking that might be a good place to dip my toes in the water a little bit more. I'm also looking at various breast forms online, I'm hoping that a bit a silicone and makeup will at least help me feel more comfortable with myself.

Any thoughts from anyone?

[SharonDenise]

You live in a major city so I'm sure that there will be a cross dresser support group in your area. I belong to one in Chicago and we do the activities that you are looking for. Also, you could probably find a make-over artist who specializes with cross dressers. I recommend a make-over as you will be amazed as to how well she will transform you. She will probably recommend you to a friendly nail salon for maxi/pedicures. My make-over artist sold me my breast forms along with clothes, cosmetics and advice. Have fun!

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Jessica, The GGs' come in all different sizes and shapes, The important thing is to do your best and have self confidence.

[Candice June Lee]

There are lots of crossdressers in dallas. I believe lower greenville is the place we used to hang out. Tnere is a place in arlington and many of the other mid cities. Many of the clubs on lower greenville had changed names on my last visit from what they were 15 years ago.

[Jessica5536]

Thanks for all the feedback.

Regarding confidence, I think that is the hardest thing. I think I just have this belief that TX is a dangerous place for this kind of thing. Growing up here I had a lot of hate directed at me and that was just because I wasn't religious. Adding crossdressing on top of that and I'm half convinced there is an angry mob with pitchforks around every corner.

I've been looking at the various support groups. It's mainly getting the courage to get my butt out the door and actually interact with other people. It's going to take a lot of work to just feel comfortable in my own skin.

[victoria76]

You're not alone. There are many of us in this situation.
When I'm out and about (not often) I'm nervous about running into the wrong people.
Just be cautious, it is indeed fun to get out of the house dressed up!

[Kevyn53]

I just got back from a trip where I got to dress a couple of days each way. The biggest thing I noticed is that A) women come in all shapes and sizes, and B) a lot of them need fashion police. I'm starting to think that CDers are more careful about their attire than most GGs. There's an awful lot of spandex being pushed to the limit out there. Just experiment to find your own style.

[Marcelle]

Hi Jessica,

Makeover services are an excellent idea as it gives you a chance to view how experts do it and this combined with online tutorials and of course practice, practice and more practice . . . make-up will become easier. Another thing I would recommend it spend some time observing women in public (not in the creep stalker kind of way ). Find women close to your own build and see how they move, walk, manipulate a purse and multiple items, interact and so on. Make-up, breast forms, hip padding and what not are only part of the presentation, movement, gestures and so on complete the illusion for blending into the Vanilla landscape. Practice these things in concert with make-up, identify your own sense of style and when you are ready (and you will know), pick your safe venue and do some recon in guy mode so you know what you are getting into then . . . get ready and head there "en femme". I won't lie, it will be difficult to get out of the car (or even the house) that first time and should you give-up, consider it a tactical retreat, collect yourself and give it another try . . . you'll get there.

Cheers

Isha

[Tina B.]

Sorry, there is no short cut to make up, practice, practice, and more practice. Video's help, but putting it on, is the only way to know what looks right on you.
Oh and if you are looking at silicone breast, don't forget the hips, a little padding goes a long way.

[Katey888]

Baby steps are good Jessica and it's never too late...

If you don't feel confident with your own makeup then a makeover service is surely a reliable - but expensive - way to get that part done. I'd recommend you practice a lot at home because if you can become more proficient yourself it gives you more options and flexibility for when you want to go out. I'd also support the view of a safe, LGBT or TG friendly venue - my experience from seeing how others are accepted, is that you will probably find a little more respect for anyone who is less experienced and is more challenged hiding a male build... Perhaps obviously most of the other girls will appreciate what you are feeling and trying to achieve, and that can be a welcome confidence builder. While folk in the vanilla world might be respectful, they can't understand... And a club in the evening tends to be a bit on the dark side, so that does make an environment where absolutely spot-on makeup is less critical...

If you can make contact with someone who you know will be there and can help introduce you to the venue, that also is a big help - even if you only know one person, it means your confidence is better at the start and you'll meet other folk there for sure. I had my first outing less than a year ago to a friendly LGBT club and while I don't need to get out much, that first time gave me the confidence I needed to make other excursions more independent. To some extent it really depends on what you want to do with your time out...

Katey x

[Krisi]

We all have our own ideas of what it takes to look like a woman. Clothes, makeup, a wig and breast forms are a start but I suggest you seriously consider hip and butt padding as well. This can take some of that squareness away from your look.

Makeup is a big subject around here, but if you really want to look like a woman, less is better. Too much makeup for the place and time of day will call attention to you. Beard cover is the most important step, then some lipstick. If you wear sunglasses you don't need to worry about eye makeup.

As for places to go, I don't see the attraction of bars. A walk in the park, the mall, the downtown business district of a larger city are all safe places to go (in the daytime). Feminine sunglasses can be worn to disguise your face and avoid eye contact.

[kimdl93]

Every step will make you feel a bit more complete and confident. none of us started out thinking we could ever be remotely presentable, and many of us will never pass, ,but we can still be happy with ourselves.

[Stephania]

Jessica, I live in a little town about an hour west of Austin. I am TS and as such am dressed 24/7 for the last year and a half. I have never, in that year and a half had a problem yet. That's not to say that it won't happen. There is always a chance of being harassed, but it is a lot more seldom than you would think.

[cheryl reeves]

i live in the boonies 46 miles west of ft worth and never had problems when out dressed. i dont do the bar or club scene,but like being out and about,we usually go to weatherford and go shopping and out to eat and never had problems,other then the ocassional jerk acting tough in front of his friends. i dont do the city scene for i dont care for cities,im a small town girl at heart. my wife does my make up and she does a wonderful job of making me blend in.

[Adriana Moretti]

makeover services are great, however...you should REALLY learn to do it yourself to save you time & money...even by getting a makeover& watching them do it once or twice is good, you may pick up some tips, but makeup takes practice, then more practice. Instead of focusing on the entire face, maybe focus on one area at a time..like learn eyes ( the hardest part) then lips, contours, highlights, foundation etc not in that particular order..but you know what im getting at, there were nights all i did was practice eyeshadow, or just eyeliner...real nerdy stuff...it can be overwhelming to try to do it all at once.But little by little you can make it all work. Makeup is like art, and painting, you have to look at it that way....you use brushes to create depth, to highlight, shade, blend, ...and pencils too....think of it as an art. And the better care you take of your skin BEFORE you pick up a brush, the better the "canvas" you have to work with. good luck xoxo

[Jessica5536]

Thanks everyone.

I've been trying to practice my makeup when I'm home alone but it is tough and there is always paranoia about not cleaning up properly and outing myself with my wife(which I'm not remotely ready for). So I don't feel like I have the a good opportunity to practice and enjoy.

Fortunately I have a weekend coming up when I will be on my own. I'm trying to contact TGtransformations in Austin or Vanity Transformations in Houston. I'm really hoping that in addition to a makeover they can give me a basic lesson in makeup. I found a service in Fort Worth called funtasy photos that offers TG makeovers, but I think I would be more comfortable in a business that is actually specialized for cross dressers.

[Catherine383]

Hi Jessica!

Do you have a GG bff you can lean on? You mentioned your wife does not know about your crossdressing, but would it be possible to find a woman who can help you through this, and perhaps go "out" with? I think that would boost your confidence level at first.

I think at some point though you need to share your desires with your wife. Most of the time, a wife will be ok with it.