Haters crawling out of the woodwork, supporters rising up like flowers.

[Sarah Doepner]

Since Caitlyn Jenner came out and particularly since receiving the Ashe Award from ESPN I've watched my guy side facebook fill up with comments. It's made it real easy to find those who I will never make headway with and those who are supporters. I'm letting it all die down before I make a comment out there, but it will be a great way to add one more level of clarity to my list of friends and family and how they relate to the T world.

So even if she does nothing else positive for the whole community in gaining understanding, recognition and respect for Trans folks, she has managed to help me sort out a lot of the confusion in my world.

Other than coming out to people, have you come up with other techniques to find your potential supporters?

[AbigailJordan]

I'm not sure I look for potential supporters per se, The people I have come out to have in the most part been close friends that I relied on trust over anything else with (one let me down it seems but that's the risk). One I told after she confided that her ex had worn her undies quite often, another after having a conversation abut a relative who had always felt he was just born in the wrong body. the results of these conversations suggested they would be open minded enough not to judge me for it..

I have also told people that I had no idea how they would react.. these tend to be the guys rather than the girls.. so far I'm 2 for 2 with one guy giving me a cheer the first time he ever saw Abi.. the other is having a party in 2 weeks time and Abi has an invite.. so out of 5 or 6 close friends told, only one has really let me down.

I can understand what you mean about the Jenner comments, but so far I don't think any of my friends have passed comment on it. Believe it or not, Caitlyn Jenner hasn't actually been huge news over here in the UK. But then, most of us never cheered the Kardashian rubbish on in the first place so we don't have quite the same "hype" that you guys over there get.

[kimdl93]

Facebook posters are often like parrots, mimicking what they think is acceptable. One troll can lead to a cascade of parroting.

[Jorja]

Other than coming out to people, have you come up with other techniques to find your potential supporters?

My first suggestion is to get off of Facebook. At the time I transitioned there was no Facebook or even internet. You wanted to meet someone you had to do it the old fashioned way, you had to actually meet them face to face. People are not as bold and repulsive in their comments when they have to look you in the eye.

[Isabella Ross]

Jorja...for once I agree with you. (Actually, I agree a lot with you.)

[Tracii G]

Oh yeah I know who not to come out to as far as my friends go.

[BLUE ORCHID]

I stay as far away fromfacebook as I can.

[Genny B]

One of my co-workers is always bringing transgender conversations up and how they can't understand how society is suppose to accept this behavior and just goes on and on. He's also the only single guy in our area. Coincidence?

Genny B

[lily1974]

I am glad I found this thread. I was getting ready to vent on here about my moms closed mind towards crossdressers. She asked me this morning to drop by for cake and coffee. While there she brought up Ms. Jenner. How she thought she was going against the bible and how god doesnt make mistakes and if you were born a guy you should stay a guy. I wanted to tell her to piss off and walk out. Guess mom is not one of the people I can come out to after all. My SO was pissed when I told her about my mom too.

[Tracii G]

Lilly have your Mom explain why Ms Jenner is a mistake if she was born that way.

[docrobbysherry]

Sounds like u have a good plan, Sarah.

However, I'd have a hard time doing that on Sherry's FB page, telling supporters from, "admirers"!

[Sandie70]

Interesting. My male Facebook page has been around for years and I've developed some of the most caring, articulate and intelligent friends I could ever hope for. New friends are chosen carefully and some of the old ones have actually turned into face-to-face friends. I even have developed friends overseas who (or is that whom?) I have met in person while traveling.

Yes, Facebook has tons of freaks and haters - but you have the ability to filter them out. I certainly don't have time for them.

Now I am developing my Crossdressing FB page and I am going through the culling process with that. Right now I stand at about 130 friends and I no doubt will end up blocking some of them as I view what they post. But most seem to be really caring and compassionate people - and some of them funny as heck. And I'm learning a lot as our conversations can touch on areas that are taboo on this site.

And from what I've read on this thread I know many of you will never change your mind about Facebook... that's cool. I have close face-to-face friends who feel the same way. But, for me, it works and I love the friends I've developed.

Oh, and every single one of my FB friends are incredibly supportive of transgendered rights. Go figure.

[Krisi]

I use facebook to keep in touch with family and with friends both current and from my hometown years ago. Some of these "friends" aren't really friends so much as people I used to work with.

Facebook has unveiled some things about these people that I wasn't aware of from knowing and working with them personally. Some seem to be much less educated than I expected. Some seem to be less tolerant than I expected and some are just plain ignorant (for lack of a better term).

I have deleted some of the worst, but others I need to keep to keep track of things back home.

I said all that to say this: I haven't seen any support of Caitlyn Jenner, only jokes, cartoons and statements that she is mentally ill. I don't respond and I don't "like" these posts. Just as on this forum, nobody changes their mind from what they see or read on the Internet, these responses only result in arguments and bad feelings.

In time, the public may grow to accept this sort of thing but trying to force it will only make them defensive.

[CarlaWestin]

Carla doesn't have a FB account but, he does. The friend list is at about 20. I unfriend immediately if the following subjects are posted. Bible, gender orientation bashing, extreme liberal or conservative blathering, sick animals or children and others. Facebook is social media quicksand and the bait is narcissism.

[Maria 60]

WOW! I really was surprised by one person. I thought if anyone in my family would be supportive it would have been my sister in law. When we talked about it she made a few comments on how it's just not right and if her husband decides he has to express that side he will be doing it divorced. WOW! That was the last person I thought that would come from. Even my old fashion Italian mother in law made a comment like, as along as he happy that's all that matters. Crazy "A"

[Alice Torn]

I felt like coming out on my guy FB account, but decided against it, as most of my friends on there are in the church , or churches i have been with, and they believe it is sick and perversion, and i am a male because i was meant to be born one. A few are a little less judging, though, but i am not coming out on there. I closed my lady side account , because of privacy concerns.

[Tina_gm]

Caitlin will be like a lightning rod for both the haters and the supporters. If anything, it is sometimes interesting to see where some people fall if hey have never shared an opinion on TG issues before. personally, I am finding more support than hate, true hate that is. What I find the most are people that really do not care all that much, and are ok with having CJ live however she wishes to. I am fine with that.

[bimini1]

I've been off FB for about 2 years now. Just turned it off one day and never went back. Now, my wife still has a page. When the award story broke, she said she was more than surprised by the overload of hateful vitriol being spewed against Jenner. One response she came across that had the most likes was "if Jenner is so courageous, why isn't he courageous enough to get help to fix this sickness he has".
That summed it up for me. I'm not surprised by it at all. There is a lot of ignorance out there, I mean A LOT. You should be no more entitled to judge someone's experience if you have not walked in those shoes anymore than I as a CD could come on here and judge a TS. But alas, this is what most people do, sigh. It's what they do, and that is the reality. And they have for the most part been conditioned to do so. I try to concentrate on the positive but at times in my world there seems to be very little of it. You are just not gonna change that many minds out here. Sadly, this site does not represent the real world.