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Thread: Doubting is it right or wrong?

  1. #1
    Silver Member Bobbi46's Avatar
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    Doubting is it right or wrong?

    Do you have any doubts and self questions of what are you doing?. I recently came into this wonderful contented world of cd, having recent health problems took my mind away from cd but now (all is well) my lifestyle got a bit hectic and I was unable to cd but at the same time wondered about whether to cd or not and was it right or wrong.
    But all that changed this morning after a good nights sleep I woke up and feeling good within myself I underdressed only as my house is very warm also it was hot outside. The moment I did so I felt such a huge wave of contentment and relief wash over me. That was a good few hours ago and still the pleasure remains. All the self doubts were gone and I realised that yes this is what I want and need in my life to feel feminine within the confines of my surroundings. As for going out dressed I am still trying to get up the courage to do so! I guess only time will tell in the meantime I am definitely happy with being cd and have despatched all those doubting demons to far corners of the earth.

  2. #2
    Aspiring Member Sarah-RT's Avatar
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    I have that regularly, I over think, worry and panic that I've become bored or lonely and dress to seek attention or something but when I do dress all those worries go away and I feel much better, it's really difficult to keep a handle on. I think about dressing very often and that loops back to thinking I'm messed up, looking at pictures of myself dressed can be a mixed bag too, half of the time it cheers me up and the other half I see every flaw. The way I see it though is just putting one leg in front of the other and March onwards and upwards

    Sarah x
    I cant stand to fly, I'm not that naive. I'm just out to find the better part of me. I'm more than a bird, I'm more than a plane, I'm more than some pretty face beside a train. Its not easy to be me.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member Beverley Sims's Avatar
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    Me!
    I have been full of self doubt for years.

    Grab the bull by the horns and "Own IT".

    I think that some confidence is a good thing.
    Work on your elegance,
    and beauty will follow.

  4. #4
    Multi-Blogger Barbara Black's Avatar
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    I have the same doubts here, whenever my wife challenges it, or sometimes when I see pictures. I have the same feeling that perhaps I'm just showing off, experimenting, etc. But then I recall the comfort and relaxation that I've felt when I've dressed, and I go a step further, something sexier, another layer. LOL.

  5. #5
    Aspiring Member Angela1954's Avatar
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    Oh gosh. Doubts? All the time. But since I started accepting my feminine side they have lessened. I still have them of course; I'm not sure that there is anyone that does not if they are honest. I truly began to feel most comfortable oddly enough when I was not made up but in what some would consider feminine attire. I was going to my ballet class. T shirt and black tights. I had forgot my water so I had to stop at a convenience store. Previously I would have just gone without. Now I just walked in and in my nice feminine voice asked where the water was. Paid and left feeling perfectly comfortable. I know I will still have doubts from time to time but I continue to press forward.

  6. #6
    Member ErikaS's Avatar
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    Yes I have doubts alot and fear it's getting better but still there. I think as I move forward and I have accepted who I am as a woman things will be alright. The self doubts will always be with us we just have to keep thinking out side society box and be ourselves.

    Erika

  7. #7
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    I have my doubts all the time.

    But the way I see it, if it's something you enjoy and it hurts nobody, then there's nothing to worry about.

    x

  8. #8
    Reality Check Krisi's Avatar
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    From society's point of view it is definitely wrong. The important question is, is it right for you? If so, you need to balance this with society in a way that suits you. For some of us, that means wearing panties under our male clothes, for others it's walking around town in a dress and not caring what society thinks.

    For most of us, it's somewhere in the middle. We each find our own level of comfort although this often changes over time.

  9. #9
    New Member Chantel Lacey's Avatar
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    Hi Im new here

    Quote Originally Posted by ErikaS View Post
    Yes I have doubts alot and fear it's getting better but still there. I think as I move forward and I have accepted who I am as a woman things will be alright. The self doubts will always be with us we just have to keep thinking out side society box and be ourselves.

    Erika
    God made us all slightly different, an I am constantly worried I will not fit in.,.
    I dressed as a preteen, an I loved to dress an feel sexy, confident.,. My parents did not thinks so, an made me wear girls clothes to school an beat me senseless so often I had no idea what I was a boy or girl.,. Many times through out my life i found Woman's clothes gave me comfort an joy I was not finding through other means.,. Many times I collected clothes only to throw them all away later.,. Im fifty now an dressing nearly full time I love it an it still scares the crap out of me.,. I don't feel very passable so i never go out dressed.,. I've been told by my admirers I look great.,. I have eye challenges so I never try eye make up.,. Im not sure if we ever get over our fears.,. I feel we do things long enough it becomes a habit an then one day we find we have grown very comfortable with our look an were out in public showing our selves off in one way or other.,. Im thrilled to see Im not alone in this transformation we are finding our selves in.,. Its a blessing for me to read how others like me are handling their emotions an image challenges,., This gives me hope that together we are making a difference in the World.,. God bless You all,. Cheers Chantel

  10. #10
    Junior Member SandraB's Avatar
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    Since accepting it (only a few months ago), I don't have too much doubt about what I'm doing or when I do have doubts, it is short lived. On occassion when I'm challenging myself to do something and the adrenelaine is building up, I may sometimes ask myself why I am this way or why not just stop. But generally, I quickly come around to that I want to be me. The only regrets I have is where I chicken out and don't live up to the challenge.

  11. #11
    Silver Member Bobbi46's Avatar
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    having thought more I guess we will always have some sort of doubt no matter how hard we try the demons I have despatched are those which stop me dressing. The doubts that I do have are when and how should I go out certainly no doubts whilst at home, will we always say to ourselves should I or should I not?

  12. #12
    Member Jennifer0874's Avatar
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    I used to, but not anymore. Something that really helped was my wife b coming more open than she's ever been. I used to worry that if I dressed and someone saw me, what would she think? Would she be embarrassed? When she gave me the green light to be me whenever that changed how I felt. When she started going out with me dressed I knew she was comfortable.

  13. #13
    Diva AbigailJordan's Avatar
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    I used to have those doubts.. should I be doing this.. is it "normal" is it "wrong"? should I leave it behind?

    Personally I think that a lot of those doubts stemmed from the fact that I was still in the place of "society won't accept this".

    However, since I decided to head off the gossip that I know is going round town and chose to out myself, all those doubts have gone. I know this is how I'm meant to be.. and I no longer have those doubts.. it's who I am

  14. #14
    Weirdest woman ever! docrobbysherry's Avatar
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    Yes, I do!

    I often hear from the Angel sitting on my rite shoulder. She whispers in my ear,"U r wasting time and money playing dress up! You're NOT a woman, just an old, male, fraud!"

    Then, the Devil Woman on my left shoulder whispers, "But, you're running out of time. And, dressing is so much fun! Besides, u look prettier than many REAL women. Go for it, honey!"
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

  15. #15
    Exploring NEPA now Cheryl T's Avatar
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    Gave up the doubt and fears 10 years ago and haven't looked back.
    This is ME !
    Can you see the REAL Me?

  16. #16
    Silver Member Tina_gm's Avatar
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    Of course. There is so much pressure from society, from our partners, of kids, parents friends, Co workers finding out. All have the potential for damaging consequences. If none of that was a factor, we likely wouldn't have doubts.

  17. #17
    AKA Lexi Read only sometimes_miss's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bobbi46 View Post
    Do you have any doubts and self questions of what are you doing?.
    No, not anymore. But I certainly did for the first 30 years or so. Took me about that long to figure it all out. At least now the feeling of guilt is gone; but it's been replaced by something potentially worse: Loss of hope. I realize that the number of women who truly like or even accept a crossdressing male as a mate is virtually nil, and since we have no way to find them, it's unlikely that I'll ever find a mate who I can tell about this. It's OK; I understand. I know that most people don't tell their SO every single detail of their previous life, and I've had SO's that certainly hid secrets from me. But just knowing that this secret will in all likelyhood destroy the relationship makes it harder to feel right about never telling anyone again. I don't like disappointing people, it's something drilled into my brain by my family when I was growing up. And I remember so well, my ex wife's feeling about me when she discovered that I was a crossdresser. First was the sadness, the confusion, the feeling of loss, and of course, eventually the anger. I understand. I don't have to be happy about it, but I understand.
    Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
    There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
    Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.

  18. #18
    Member Ninna's Avatar
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    I have a lot of doubts, I think is normal I am 26 years old and for the first time I accept my crossdresser condition, but I think that i'm a beautiful girl and I try a lot to feel the more femme as possible!

  19. #19
    Martini Girl Katey888's Avatar
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    Bobbi - I still have doubts just about every other day...

    I do find they are easier to cast aside and less intense now than in previous times (when they would have caused impulsive purging... ) - I don't know that they are right or wrong, they just are... and are very much a product of our moulding by society...

    Self-acceptance is key, but doubts are probably also a good safety mechanism for sanity checking anything, especially if it involves doing anything en femme for the first time...

    Katey x
    "Put some lipstick on - Perfume your neck and slip your high heels on
    Rinse and curl your hair - Loosen your hips, and get a dress to wear"
    Stefani Germanotta

  20. #20
    New Member Brandi01's Avatar
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    I used to have doubts when I was younger, but not anymore!!

  21. #21
    Platinum Member
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    Hi Bobbi, I dress for about three hours every morning and at my age
    I don't worry about whether it's Right or Wrong.
    Having my ears triple pierced is AWESOME, ~~......

    I can explain it to you, But I can't comprehend it for you !

    If at first you don't succeed, Then Skydiving isn't for you.

    Be careful what you wish for, Once you ring a bell , you just can't Un-Ring it !! !!

  22. #22
    Platinum Member kimdl93's Avatar
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    That unpleasant phase is long behind me.

    Easy come, easy go;
    Easy left me long ago...

  23. #23
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    Oh yes have doubts, still trying to figure this love of cding. Is it ok, why do I, but in the end I'm not hurting myself. I have to learn to accept.

  24. #24
    Claire Claire Cook's Avatar
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    Oh boy did I have doubts! As a kid I always felt that it is "wrong" to get into my mother's things (even though it felt so "right"!) And for the longest time that guilt plagued me. Then came those magical moments of self-acceptance. Right or wrong? Neither -- it's me! My sense is that I'm saying what others here have said.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC] Proud member of the Lacey Leigh Fan Club

  25. #25
    There's that smile! CarlaWestin's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Claire Cook View Post
    Oh boy did I have doubts! As a kid I always felt that it is "wrong" to get into my mother's things (even though it felt so "right"!) And for the longest time that guilt plagued me. Then came those magical moments of self-acceptance. Right or wrong? Neither -- it's me! My sense is that I'm saying what others here have said.
    Perfect. The only doubts that are left are, I doubt that my wife will ever be the slightest bit accepting. I doubt that a major portion of society will feel that gender fluidity is an acceptable norm. And, I doubt I'll ever get make up to act right. Now, the other side of doubt is self assurance. I'm definitely sure that there's nothing wrong at all with this lifestyle. And, I'm sure that these activities are way more pleasing and fulfilling than nearly every other passtime.
    I've waited so long for this time. Makeup is so frustrating. Shaking hands and I look so old. This was a mistake.
    My new maid's outfit is cute. Sure fits tight.
    And then I step into the bedroom and in the mirror, I see a beautiful woman looking back at me.
    Smile, Honey! You look fabulous!

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