Crossdress vs. Transgender

[Confucius]

Society seems to classify gender into either male or female, with no other options. Nonetheless, science may allow for something more of a spectrum between the two genders. When researchers study the brain's neural network in action (using instruments like the MRT), they can easily see distinct differences between the male brain, and the female brain. However, when these researchers do the same tests with the brains of transgenders they find the neural networks are somehow between male and female.

I believe that we crossdress simply because it is the way our brain is hardwired. Our brains are hardwired to interpret crossdresssing as actual contact with a female, and it then releases the neurotransmitters that produce the sensations we love. And our neural networks make us all unique. Some of us are content to be a man-in-a-dress, while others need to pass as a woman, and still others find they need to transition. In every case, we want to be authentically ourselves.

[ReineD]

But let's put that debate aside, because that doesn't really address the underlying question, which I think, is why has your self assessment changed. One could assert that dressing is changing you, that the positive feelings you experience through the act of emulating a woman is rewarding and, therefore, encourages further progression.

Another possible explanation is that this part of you has always been present, but to use your own words, was much stronger than you wanted to admit. Take away the overburden of repression, add positive experiences and many of us have begun to realize possibilities we previously could not allow ourselves to imagine.

This!

I'd like to add to the first paragraph that in my observations, the degree to which any person experiences any reward mechanisms varies as it is a function of individual physical makeup. For example, some people get a lot more pleasure out of eating than others and these people might be apt to indulge more than a person who eats predominately for sustenance. Also if a person's environment somehow prohibits the undue gaining of weight (i.e. they want to project a certain image, or they need to if for example they are a public personality) they will be more motivated to control their sweet or savory tooth, whereas if they don't have external motivators to control it, they won't.

It also appears as if the more a person's dressing is pleasurable to them (degree of dopamine release?), the likelier they are to want to continue to do this more. So in the case of someone who is not TS (who does not experience clinical impairment over having a male body and male characteristics), is this a case of evolution, or personal preference.

As to identifying as a CD vs. TG (if someone is not TS), I should think this depends on someone's own personal definitions. Some members here prefer to dress full time when they can, yet they still identify as male (thus CD), while other people prefer to use the term TG when they experience the same internal benefits as someone who identifies as CD. I also think that for a significant number of people, the sexual aspect of the CDing diminishes with time and with age, although libido is also highly individualistic.

[Mayo]

now we know that only society defines male/female behaviour/clothing (outside of the obvious biological roles in procreation and breastfeeding), i can only really support the idea that the CD I do is indeed female, and probably therefore transgender.

That may be true for you, but it doesn't necessarily apply to other CDs (I assume you weren't speaking for everyone else ).

As I understand it, the TG 'umbrella' covers anybody who - basically - engages in behaviour (including dress) that is not gender-typical, i.e. that does not fit into the usual 'boxes' to which our society assigns each sex. In this very broad sense CDs are TG by definition. However, a more specific sense (what most people think TG means) seems to be 'having a feminine psyche' or 'feeling female' or 'being trapped in a woman's body' (or similar tropes), often accompanied by a desire to transition socially and (sometimes) physically and live full-time as the opposite sex (what this board calls TS).

I can, however, conceive of a man who simply enjoys wearing women's clothing because he likes the styles and colours, or finds them more comfortable, or is sexually aroused by them (TV), without having any feelings whatsoever of being 'female'. To me, that particular CD subgroup falls partly outside the umbrella because they have no inner experience of being other-gendered but are simply bucking current social norms. As an analogy, we wouldn't (these days) consider men who get manicures or who wear their hair long to be 'less than male' (or not usually, except perhaps by homophobes or radical social conservatives).

That's my personal take on how CD does (and sometimes doesn't) fall under the TG umbrella, but it does boil down to exactly how one chooses to define TG.

[Saikotsu]

First post in quite a while, but here goes.
As far as I'm concerned, I identify as transgender. More specifically as Gender fluid. My internal identity fluctuates throughout the day. 95% of the time I feel mixed and the ratio of female to male varies. When I can, I dress to match that ratio. If I'm more female than male, my wardrobe choices reflect that. Likewise if I'm more male than female. For me, my clothing choices are a means of expressing my internal identity. Thus, I don't consider it crossdressing. I simply wear what is appropriate for my internal gender.

That said, to an external viewer, that might well mean I am a man in women's clothes. Most people would define that as crossdressing. I for one dislike that label because I'm not dressing as the "opposite" gender from my point of view.

It took me a while to figure out why I disliked the label "crossdresser" so much. It wasn't until a couple of months ago that I figured out why. For me, it was always about expressing my internal gender. So I guess in answer to the original prompt, I struggled to find a definition for myself that I liked, and eventually I settled on transgender

[NicoleScott]

We toss around terms like TG hoping everybody who reads it defines it as was meant. Hardly. There are some who don't think CDers belong under the TG umbrella, those who are TS who don't want to be considered under the TG umbrella, and those who think TG is something other than the umbrella. It gets worse. A prefix has been turned into a noun - trans. That ought to include transvestites (CDers), transsexuals, and transgenders, whatever that is. If not the umbrella term, not CD, not TS, what is TG? No wonder those who are none-of-the-above can't sort it out.

[Belle Cri]

I'm not sniping at anyone, but I find these endless definitional debates, well, odd and very frustrating. If the point of the journey is to define oneself, one's sexuality, and one's peace and place of sanity, why clutter all this with endless definitional salami slices that would drive a seasoned lawyer to madness?

To the OP, I think you are in a perfectly balanced place given what you want. If you are content, then case closed.

[Sandie70]

I think you either identify as a woman inside or you don't. Since I don't seem to have that overriding feeling that I'm in the wrong body, I can't call myself transgendered. Not to say this couldn't happen. Certainly, as I spend more and more time dressed, I am becoming more and more feminine is many ways. My desire to present as female is becoming stronger. Some day, will I wake up and find myself with that feeling inside that so many speak of - that I am truly a woman in a man's body? I don't know. If that happens I probably won't mind it... I already have dreams of what it would be like to dress full time. If that is part of the process to identifying my gender as female, then so be it.

Whatever happens, I am not going to worry about it.

[Mayo]

I'm not sniping at anyone, but I find these endless definitional debates, well, odd and very frustrating. If the point of the journey is to define oneself, one's sexuality, and one's peace and place of sanity, why clutter all this with endless definitional salami slices that would drive a seasoned lawyer to madness?

To the OP, I think you are in a perfectly balanced place given what you want. If you are content, then case closed.

I believe that humans in general have a need to generalize - partly as a way of saving mental effort but also to infer the qualities of things that resemble each other. For some people, knowing their 'place' in the world gives them security, or at least self-knowledge. It's also a short-hand way of communicating something about oneself to others. Sometimes this works well and other times it doesn't (stereotyping, in-groups vs out-groups), but our brains are stuck with it and we need to make special effort to avoid doing it.

Certainly one can be happy with one's own understanding of self even if others aren't. Too bad for them, then.

[Krisi]

Where are all the folks who insist there should be no labels?

[Samantha_Smile]

Transgender, crossdresser, transexuals, transvestites....
Whatever you can think of, they're all labels, and labels are contextual in application.
I don't see why people get offended.
When I go out with with my friends, I'm "the tall one". But if I hung out with a basket
ball team I'd be "the short white guy that cant jump...LOLZ"

Slightly tangented, but I just think people need to keep in mind that labels, depending
on your persepective, will vary in all ways.
Just because someone calls you by a 'label', may not mean to cause offence, but they
might just not know any better.
I think if you start punishing ignorance alongside hate, then we, will never take
acceptance like we deserve (if we aren't hurting anyone).
Ignorant terms an belief systems based on pure lack of insight, do not mean a person
disrespects or hates you.
An ignorant opinion can be changed given a chance to enlighten people that
"What you learned as an outsider looking at us was not the whole story" (The actual response would be much longer given the chance).
Getting mad about the labels and worrying about definitions... It wont help, why not just
speak out when you hear something incorrect and you have the oportunity.
It's not political correctness, it's just re-educating those who you CAN re-educate.
Just make sure you choose wisely, and dont give away too much info, just enough to
make them think and see if they change.

Does what people classify me as bother me in anyway?
If it isn't offensive to me, you can call me what you like.

[Belle Cri]

That was very nicely put.

[CynthiaD]

I knew I was transgendered before I ever joined this forum. (By transgendered, I mean that I consider myself female, even though my outward appearance is male.) My journey since joining has been one of greater acceptance of myself rather than moving along the TG spectrum. I've always been very interested in transitioning, but I've never felt strongly enough about it to take any steps in that direction. I don't hate my body, or feel that I was born into "the wrong" body. Yes, I would love to have real breasts and so forth, but it's not something I need. Mostly I feel that being transgendered is a natural part of the human condition, and not something that needs to be cured.

[Eryn]

...How many people here have experienced this evolution and does it stop or does our feminine side become increasingly dominant?

I think that your experience is fairly common with TG people. When we first seriously examine our feelings it is easiest to rationalize them in terms of being a CDer. Later we learn more about transgenderism and ourselves and find that we happen to be at a point further along the spectrum than we thought. It's a natural progression.

[Krisi]

"why not just speak out when you hear something incorrect and you have the opportunity."

Well, what if you are the one who is incorrect?

[Dianne S]

Where are all the folks who insist there should be no labels?

We're humans. We've evolved to categorize; that's how we deal with the world's complexity.

Now to weigh in: A couple of years ago, I would have considered "transgender" to include all people who display any sort of gender-variance at all, all the way from part-time crossdressers to stealth transitioners.

Lately, though, I think "transgender" has narrowed in meaning to be specifically those who do, want to, or are likely to transition. So we need a new all-encompassing term. I would say "gender variant" is reasonable to act as the new umbrella term.

[Badwolf]

I think the term TG and TS are also intimidating if you don't see yourself transitioning. A lot of it does tend to be used in clinical settings and aren't really designed for people who identify more as a CD.

By many definitions we are all TG here, something I only came to admit somewhat later. I still pick and choose when I let that term apply to me since I like my male side, and transitioning is not really what I want.

And the definition that is most inclusive is the one currently in the oxford dictionary:

"Denoting or relating to a person whose self-identity does not conform unambiguously to conventional notions of male or female gender:"

I'd bet that any dictionary 20+ years ago when many of us defined ourselves as CDers that the definition for TG was a bit more aligned with TS which is why we formed a CD identity.

[Belle Cri]

Ugh I hate to be testy on this, but I lump everything into "LOC" - left of center. I really don't care about the infinite tribal subdivisions within the various communities. I understand why it occurs, but, really, I'm just too old at this point. So I just say Left of Center. You can be straight, bi, gay, bent, TG,TV - alphabet soup for all I care unless, and a big unless, we have invited you into our bed - then just be honest for Pete's sake.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Angela, I'm just a guy that loves to dress and look pretty, then go back being Mr. Drab having the best of both worlds.

[Robin414]

Good question Angela, IMHO given the fact that T naturally decreases with age and IF you have some 'predisposition for being a fan of the feminine condition' (medically identifiable or otherwise) I think the feminine side does become more dominant. Sorry to sound cliche but if there's a chic trapped in there and T is the lock on the cel door...it's going to fail eventually 😩

[Belle Cri]

That is very interesting. I had not considered that.

[Adriana Moretti]

I am REALLY starting to not like the word crossdresser ( no offense to the gals here at all, heck I am one )....but it's almost embarassing...for this reason...
(Link to Twitter hashtag/crossdresser removed)

that does not represent me, or most of you....thats why I cant stand that word anymore thank you twitter. ok...rant over

[St. Eve]

wow, I so much appreciate this whole discussion. I was a closeted CD until I was 24. At 24 I came out to my wife with the not very useful "surprise, here I am dressed" method. Not a good choice for anyone who is considering it!!

After a very short discussion, I went back into the closet (literally and figuratively - my "closet" and her clothes closet.) Fifteen more years led me eventually to recovery for compulsive masturbation, fantasy, and dependency relationship where I gave up my clothes and got sexually sober.

Six and a half years later, today, I am in the process of bringing back my dressing - slowly, consciously, in therapy with a plan, and with the knowledge of my closest family of choice - including my spouse. I am hoping by the time I turn 50 (13 months) I can be at peace with my CD and gender issues and have a community of loved ones who accept who I am and how I express myself in the world.

I am very grateful for every one of you who has been willing to walk the path in front of me.

peace, St. Eve

[PaulaQ]

Now I clearly identify as transgender. How many people here have experienced this evolution and does it stop or does our feminine side become increasingly dominant?

My experience is that once you've come out to yourself, there is a very good chance that this may become pretty overwhelming and unstoppable for you. At the very least, it may become inevitable.

[Stephanie47]

And, what do you think pops up when you put "transsexual" into a search engine? That's not pretty either. Over the years I have found when talking to anyone on any subject it is best to avoid trying to describe anything with one word. It is best to describe what you mean without a label attached to it.

I am REALLY starting to not like the word crossdresser ( no offense to the gals here at all, heck I am one )....but it's almost embarassing...for this reason...
(Link to Twitter hashtag/crossdresser removed)

that does not represent me, or most of you....thats why I cant stand that word anymore thank you twitter. ok...rant over

If you're going to recommend to your wife do research cross dressing on the Internet, I've always recommended leading her to reputable sites.

[Marcelle]

Where are all the folks who insist there should be no labels?

Cute . . . Okay I'll bite. I get why people want labels and heck I use them to educate because to be honest . . . people need definitions to understand . . . "Oh, I see you are a (fill in the blank)". However IMHO, the important thing is "if you are happy being who you need to be, who really cares what you call yourself" and trying to pigeon hole a person into a narrowly defined concept well just saying . . . seems kind of pointless. Why? Because as soon as we agree on a term to describe some aspect of doing what we do, somebody comes along and says "Hey, that doesn't describe me or you don't fit in that group . . . go find another word" . . . Yup pointless.

Being happy accepting yourself is a good thing, how you define yourself internally brings order to that happiness but what you call yourself is truly irrelevant . . . again IMO.

Now to the OP and yes, I will be talking some labels in order to help define my response

Hi Angela,

When I started out I considered myself a cross dresser because to be honest, it was the only term I knew. As I read here and learned of the myriad of terms people used, I clung to my "maleness" (go read my past posts . . . it is obvious) because I was not ready to truly let go and embrace the fact that it was more than just dressing. Fast forward a year and a bit and I have come to accept that sometimes I identify as a man and sometimes I identify as a woman and depending on what zone I am in, I present for the target gender (man/woman). Does that make me TG, TS, CD, gender fluid, gender variant or whatnot? I really don't know. The one certainty I can respond to is that for the first time in a very, very long time . . . I am truly happy and that is what is important.

Cheers

Isha