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Thread: Why do FTM transgender pass better than MTF transgender?

  1. #1
    Valley Girl Michelle789's Avatar
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    Why do FTM transgender pass better than MTF transgender?

    This is a spin off of another existing thread "FTM Transgender" - http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...TM-transgender

    The question is, why do FTM transgender pass better than MTF transgender?


    Conventional wisdom is that T is more powerful hormone than estrogen, and that FTM can pass simply after a year on T, while MTF often need 2-3 years, electrolysis/laser, FFS, and may never pass. While I believe that hormones are a part of why FTM's pass better than MTF's, I feel that there are other things at play to, mostly as a consequence of male privilege and male responsibility.

    So I will state some of my ideas, and I would like to hear from the rest of the forum their ideas.


    1. Hormones: T is stronger than E. See above.

    2. Male privilege: Male is the default gender in our society. Whenever any literature is written to society or large groups of people, the male pronouns are always used. A woman in my AA group once complained that the AA Big Book is sexist because it uses male pronouns. So in a sense, all women are automatically mis-gendered by the Big Book.

    3. Male privilege: If there is a doubt about how to gender somebody, gender them as male. If someone calls a woman "he" or "sir" a woman will generally not react with violence. Women are less physically strong, and are conditioned not to respond with violence. So although her feelings may be hurt, she won't respond back with violence. If someone calls a man "she" or "ma'am", he may react with violence. Even if he doesn't physically beat you, he will still let you know how you made a fool out of yourself or try to get you into trouble for calling him a girl.

    4. Male privilege: If on initial glance someone genders you as male, it is usually the end of story. He's a male, congratulations, welcome to the brotherhood. If on initial glance someone genders you as female, you now are subject to inspection by men and sometimes women. Men being interested in you for sex, women being interested in what you're wearing. While on initial glance you were seen as female, the further inspection and scrutiny may reveal that you are actually male bodied. Now, you no longer pass. Sorry, you're just an "other." Accepting, polite, and politically correct people may still call you "she" or "ma'am" and treat you as such, but others will call you "he and "sir" or "buddy", treat you as a dude, mock you, insult you, give you a dirty look, or physically beat you. If he treats you as a dude, he isn't giving you male privilege, but is being sarcastic. Yes, sadly the female body is scrutinized WAY more than the male body, and often transwomen get clocked during this "inspection" which comes after the initial glance. All of this happens in less than 7 seconds.

    5. Tall people or things stand out. We all know New York city for it's famous skyline. The miles long row of endlessly tall buildings that give NYC it's iconic look and many people who have never been to the USA often think the USA is all tall buildings. What people forget is the other four boroughs: The Bronx, Queens, Brooklyn, and Staten Island. The other four boroughs are WAY shorter than Manhattan. Most buildings in the other four boroughs are 3-4 stories tall, sometimes shorter. Manhattan consists of plenty of 40+ story buildings and buildings that are over 100 stories tall. People even think that Manhattan is all about the skyscrapers. What about the 2-3 story brownstones in the Upper East Side? We often forget about the shorter buildings.

    How does this pertain to transgender people and passing. FTM's are generally shorter than MTF's. No one really pays attention to short men. Tall women, on the other hand, stand out, just like the Manhattan skyline. Consequently tall women are going to get more attention, and more scrutiny. Couple this with the fact that people generally don't scrutinize male bodies and love to scrutinize female bodies, the odds of getting read increase dramatically.

    Remember this the next time you go to NYC and stare at, admire, and scrutinize, the Empire State building, but forget that the Bronx, Queens, Brooklyn, and Staten Island even exist.

    6. Male responsibility and male ego: Because of male privilege and the male ego, it is much more acceptable for women to act or dress masculine than it is for men to act or dress feminine. Consequently, FTM's often start dressing like men and acting like men much earlier in life, giving them the advantage of learning male behavior and integrating in society as men at younger ages. MTF's often have much more pressure to hide our true natures, and we often do so by overcompensating and acting like very manly men. We have much more male behavior to unlearn, later on in life, when our brains aren't as sharp as they used to be. We get a late start on learning how to socialize as female, and it takes us much longer to unlearn male behavior and learn female behavior. Or maybe the female behavior is largely natural and inherent in us, but simply unlearning male behavior is a tough task.

    7. Fashion rules: Men have far fewer fashion rules. Male wardrobes are generally simpler. Women have more fashion rules and more diversity in wardrobes. This means we MTF's have much more work at learning how to dress appropriately than FTM's do. FTM's just need to pick out any old guy t-shirt and jeans and sneakers and they're good to go. We have to learn about dressing age appropriately, body type appropriately, selecting the right hairstyle, heels, dressing for the season. Men simply need to dress for hot or cold. Women not only need to dress for hot or cold, but need to worry about four distinct seasons. We need to learn to dress appropriately for each season and the weather variances within each season. How you dress on a cool July day is different from how you would dress on a warm March day, even though both may be 70 degree days. Inappropriate, age inappropriate, out of season clothes, or anything else abnormal, increases your risk of scrutiny and therefore getting read. On, and we MTF's have to learn these complex rules much later in life than GG's do.


    So while there may be some truth to the T is stronger than E argument, I believe there are many more things at play causing transmen to pass better than transwomen. 6 out of 7 reasons I have stated have absolutely nothing to do with hormones. Much of it is societal bias and has to do with learning and unlearning behavioral cues.
    I've finally mastered the art of making salads. My favorite is a delicious Mediterranean salad.

  2. #2
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    it's easier for a woman to look like a man in his late teens to early twenties, male faces continue to change into their mid 20's

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    Wow Michelle! Thank you for catching onto to the FTM thing, I'm not alone! I've often heard the 'male privilege' and it's true 'Small step for MAN, Giant leap for MAN kind'. I was born into that 'Royalty' and I choose to denounce it (I think). The male privilege is so profound I think it's the root cause of all of the negativity towards us...'seriously, you were born into nobility and you CHOOSE to be a commoner...WTF?'
    Last edited by Robin414; 07-23-2015 at 01:15 PM.

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    Call me Pam pamela7's Avatar
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    Michelle, I think you've covered it really well.
    One problem is that out alone we just don't see it all because we're avoiding male eye-to-eye contact, and probably using less female eye contact (why cause a threat by looking at some guy's gorgeous girlfriend instead of him? - gorilla response activated). So we need a friend along who can see the scanning.

    Once you are a CD'er you're no longer scanning like a normal person. I didn't ever pay particular notice or pay attention to crossdressing before I woke up to it. If this is true for all normals then don't worry too much, most folk don't look. But women do. Today out shopping - first time in full dress with make-up (big broad straw hat instead of wig tho) I got a lot of obvious second-glances from women, and my SO said i got a double-take from a waiter at a cafe.

    At one shop (Long Tall Sally in Bath, UK), there were sales assistants my height (6'1") and female clientele of similar height (one even taller than me). I was completely accepted apart from one seriously disapproving older woman who left in a hump.

    Women look at women, men don't scan men, men look at women if they're not with another man. I think this is why we're outed so easily.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dJFyz73MRcg
    I used to believe this, now I'm in the company of many tiggers. A tigger does not wonder why she is a tigger, she just is a tigger.

    thanks to krististeph: tigger = TG'er .. T-I-GG-er

  5. #5
    Gold Member Alice Torn's Avatar
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    Very well said Michelle! Especially the part about being tall. I am almost six foot six, and it is the main reason, as well as being terribly paranoid, that i almost never go out.

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    OMG, There are soooo may beautiful models over 6' tall I can't count, dont let height itself be a discouragement, and if it's presentation check out Denver Williams on you tube! You can make it 'werk gurl'! 😉

  7. #7
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    Michelle,
    The sad fact is unless a woman is attractive with a reasonable figure she gets overlooked and passed by ! You only have to read the threads about seeing a well dressed woman and questions are where did she get the outfit or the heels and what fantastic job she did on her makeup. Take this a stage further , if the woman you passed but never gave a second glance was wearing heels you know her gender but if she had her cropped , no make up and wearing a check shirt and jeans she could pass as a man or a butch lesbian .
    A guy dressed as a woman will send far more messages out and raise far more eyebrows, why ? Because we have far more rigid stereotypes to live with and for some reason our sexual preferences appear to cause more concern than women !

    You repeatedly give reasons why you think it's a man's World, but so much revolves round women ! The forum alone is good example of this, the majority of us are struggling with various degrees of DADT because of our partners acceptance . Many wish to emulate women , giving ourselves enhancements to alter our shapes to look like women ! The irony of that is the number of women who look in the mirror and wish they could remove the padding, some of us are paying good money to add it !

    Women say that to succeed in a man's World they have to try twice as hard, again the irony is we have to try twice as hard to come close to being a passable woman !

    What come to mind now is something my counsellor said about my brain going round in circles she said it's full of assumptions, sometimes reality is far simpler and more straightforward ! We live our TG/TS lives with far too many assumptions, over thinking problems that may not be there and over complicating the whole question of gender ! I'm as guilty as most on that one !
    I was going to add this thought to another thread buts it's just as applicable here. If I was to set up my soap box in the middle of my High Street fully dressed and shout out that this is the way I want to be ! How many would stop and plead with me not to do it ? Most people would say so what ! Just get on with we're not really bothered !

  8. #8
    GG ReineD's Avatar
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    They don't all pass better than MtF.

    My SO used to belong to a trans group where there were half dozen or so FtMs. They were all young. The FtMs who were not on hormones still looked and sounded like women even though they bound their breasts and dressed like men. The FtMs who were beginning hormones or had been on HRT for not a long time (a year or two), still looked and sounded like women if they were feminine looking to begin with. There was one who did pass earlier on, but he was not all that feminine to begin with. Everyone has different physiognomies.

    The FtMs who are on HRT dosage long enough and strong enough to pass as men, are not much different than MtFs who start HRT while young and are on it long enough and in sufficient doses to pass as women. Again, it varies among individuals just as it does among MtFs, some of whom can grow breasts and manage to change their voices, while others need BAs and FFS in order to pass.
    Reine

  9. #9
    Valley Girl Michelle789's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Robin414 View Post
    Wow Michelle! Thank you for catching onto to the FTM thing, I'm not alone!
    My boyfriend is a transman. He and I have been dating for over a year!!!


    Quote Originally Posted by pamela7 View Post
    Women look at women, men don't scan men, men look at women if they're not with another man. I think this is why we're outed so easily.
    Yes perfectly said. Both men and women scan women, for different reasons. No one scans men, except for maybe gay men. Actually, sometimes men look at women when they're in groups.


    Quote Originally Posted by rachael.davis View Post
    it's easier for a woman to look like a man in his late teens to early twenties, male faces continue to change into their mid 20's
    It's also easier for a man to look like a woman during the late teens to early twenties. It's just that transmen tend to transition much sooner than transwomen.

    Most transmen start their transitions before 25, while most transwomen start their transitions after 25. The few lucky transwomen who start their transitions before 25 usually pass as well as transmen do.

    To give you an idea, both me and my boyfriend are 35. He is a transman. I started by transition at the age of 34, he started his medical transition at the age of 32. He started publicly dressing as male at the age of 23.

    34 is considered late for a FTM to start testosterone. 34 is considered average age to start transition.

    Quote Originally Posted by Robin414 View Post
    Wow Michelle! Thank you for catching onto to the FTM thing, I'm not alone!


    Quote Originally Posted by Robin414 View Post
    The male privilege is so profound I think it's the root cause of all of the negativity towards us...'seriously, you were born into nobility and you CHOOSE to be a commoner...WTF?'
    Yes,it truly is the root of all our problems. It's the root of sexism, homophobia, transphobia, racism, classism, corporate greed, the financial crisis, war. The root of all evil is male privilege, not the love of money.

    Teresa, we get clocked in 7 seconds. There are many points where we can get clocked - all in the first 7 seconds. We might initially be read as male wearing women's clothes. We might initially be read as female, but upon further inspection we get read as male. I believe it is a complex process. And it's more than looks that get you read as male or female - movements, gestures, posture, voice, and internal vibes all contribute too.

    @Reine: You're right, not all transmen pass, and some transwomen do pass. I'm just saying that, on average, more transmen pass than transwomen. This contributes largely to why transmen are invisible. My boyfriend constantly complains how it's sexist that transmen are so invisible and unknown, but I always tell him that at least most of you pass while most of my kind don't pass.
    Last edited by Michelle789; 07-23-2015 at 02:23 PM.
    I've finally mastered the art of making salads. My favorite is a delicious Mediterranean salad.

  10. #10
    Call me Pam pamela7's Avatar
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    let me clarify Michelle, I meant to say "men look at a woman if she's NOT with another man". I noticed this clearly in a cowboy bar in Phoenix, Az. Looking at a guy's girl there was tantamount to asking for a fight! Men in groups will scan women for sure.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dJFyz73MRcg
    I used to believe this, now I'm in the company of many tiggers. A tigger does not wonder why she is a tigger, she just is a tigger.

    thanks to krististeph: tigger = TG'er .. T-I-GG-er

  11. #11
    Isn't Life Grand? AllieSF's Avatar
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    One way of looking at it is that it is easier to go from attractive to ugly than from ugly to attractive. That is simply stated but it means to me that it is hard to change male features, even if they are handsome male features, to soft and attractive female features to a point of some type of regular passing. It is easier for a woman to dress down to a butch type appearance, which most of the FtM's that I have met or seen tend to dress like. So, with the right clothes, body movements and short messy hair, the FtM can get there quicker that a MtF can going the other direction. I have met and talked with several FtM's and some of them had me fooled even after they revealed their secret. Others could easily play that role with baggy jeans, a tee shirt and flannel shirt and their shorter hair. I do agree that even with short hair, some have a very hard time altering their female cuteness, features and attraction traits. Once on hormones with some facial hair growth it becomes harder to tell and even makes me wonder if they are cis-male or trans.

  12. #12
    Another fine dress AngelaYVR's Avatar
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    Because men are naturally better at everything.

    Wait, is this not the humour thread? Whoops!

  13. #13
    Silver Member Loni's Avatar
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    maybe cause society as a whole accepts a male woman. (F-M)
    aka tom boy, or even just a girl/gal/lady dressed as a guy?
    so they just blend into the background of everything?
    but just let a guy put on a skirt and he is front and center with a spotlight on him?

    we as a socciety hold beauty on a pedstal, and degrade anything that hurts it.
    sad most (M-F) do not look so great, (me included). would love to shrink 10 inches and lose 80 pounds, be able to grow my hair again.

    .

  14. #14
    Junior Member nevarrie's Avatar
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    I would agree with most of the 7 options play a role of some sort. I have found I get called ma'am more since I went back to only have small breast(large A/small B cup) to go along with my athletic build then I did when I was trying to pull off a C or D. Though not having a bra and the forms in to fill out my 36 B I get called sir in the same clothing. I even had the same girl call me sir one week and then ma'am the next week with the same clothing just I had a bra and the small forms in the second time.

    I also do not get the second look when I am not in makeup but in girls clothing. I think the statement or going from ugly to attractive plays a big roll. If you do not try to go to much beyond average you blend in better and no one notices as much. I know a lot of CD try to go as pretty as possible but i think that is part of how they get read since they are one of the ones that stick out. Even with me being 6 foot as long as I do not try to stick out I fit in better.

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