Bumbling into friends/ relatives

[RylieCD]

Just read a post about someone find out their best friend was next door as they wer dressed. How many times has this happened? I work at a very sizable company, I bet every one lives in. 50-mile radius, and I have a lot of family in a 20mi zone. It never ceases to amaze me who I can run into while out in male mode, heck I live in Ohio and ran into a work mate in Washington DC while on vacatïon?!?!
Or today I thought about going out partially fem, androgyness. Glad I didn't because I ran into a workmate who is dating my wife's niece at the grocery store, they do not live near us so I would have never expected them there.

I like to go out dressed but always fearfull that I may run into someone I know, and fearfull how fast word would spread. What would that do to my wife ( we've discussed it even though she doesn't want to see it she will stand by me) a or my career? I try to be androgyness, or full fem during a day off when everyone Seles should be at work

[Jaylyn]

The very reason my wife had me agree that I would not go out. She has said I could underdress as much as I want. At one time I had her convinced that we go out together in a large city that is three hours away. We went there to spend a weekend night and in the motel checking in was some of our friends from our small West Texas town. This scared her a lot as she said if I had been dressed she would have been very embarrassed and we'd have had to move from our home town. She might be right as we'd have been outed and a whole town would have been talking in about an hour. The gossip mill works fast in smaller towns.

[Meghan4now]

One reason CDS often hang at gay bars.

"Guess what. I saw Fred this weekend dressed up like a girl!"
"Really? Where?"
"Uhhhh.."

Choose wisely grasshopper.

[pamela7]

seriously, do folks here think that they can be recognised when fully dressed? I reckon most people I know would walk right past me without realising.

[Belle Cri]

To me this is the self confidence/not caring debate, which I still have a difficult time with, although differently now. Now I am unconcerned with what people I don't know will think. Largely because the interaction has been positive and I have a mass of support at home. I still have trouble in the professional context and in the 'guy friends' context. I still can't not care about that, and so up comes all the same crap, just writ smaller now. I rather doubt I'll be able to fully integrate, but well, maybe that's my issue for not feeling accepted because x..y..z. What's difficult for me to accept is that it's not really anyone else's fault because I get to control my own reactions (hah).

[Allisa]

I've gotten to the point that if anyone sees me that doesn't know, now knows and can deal with it or not. I'm not ashamed anymore and will not go back to hiding. If you cannot accept me for who I am than it's your loss. Of course I realize that others who are in relationships or married have others to consider. Just remember if you own it, they can't use it against you so you take away any power they have over you. I think it's the fear of being seen that holds others back from going out in the daylight. Let's lose the shame and be oneself.

[debbeelee1]

I had kind of an opposite experience. While at the Erie Gala last year, some moron hit my car while it was parked on the street. I was changing outfits in my room and happened to look outside the window of my room while the cop arrived. I changed to drab and when out to talk to the cop.

Later, I walked into the lobby still in drab and was walking directly towards a CD/female couple that I knew quite well from our monthly girls night out. I walked towards Laura (the female), smiled and said "Hi Laura". She looked terrified. She had never seem me in drab before and thought I was some old, creepy redneck.

I said "It's me, Debbee!" She recognized me and started laughing. Her husband, Kim, who is about 6'-8" in heels made a bee line to the woman's restroom. Laura went in and told her it was me. Kim said she was absolutely terrified because she thought I might be a relative or "normal" friend of his wife's who was going to see her dressed en femme!

Laura then told me I still had very noticeable lipstick on. I probably looked a little strange to the cop and the moron who hit my car!

We still laugh about that one!

[Eryn]

I don't worry too much about me being recognized, as my appearance is different and being a woman puts me in an entirely different context than being a man. What I do worry about is my spouse being recognized and that has happened a couple of times. In both cases we have had enough advanced warning that we have simply separated for a while.

I maintain a no-fly zone in my local area, but I violate it for doctor and therapist appointments. I don't fool myself into thinking that I won't be recognized eventually (perhaps it has already happened) but I'm doing nothing illegal and if I am seen the only option will be to hold my head high.

I am very memorable in girl mode and have been recognized by people I've casually encountered at venues miles apart from each other. That's a bit flattering!

[Alice_2014_B]

I can understand being seen en femme with the wife and running into family/friends/co-workers; obviously she can easily be recognized.
But by yourself there should be no problem; highly doubt anyone would recognize you at all.

[Krisi]

If you're out in public as a "man in a dress" or some other sort of partial dressing, yes, you will be recognized and for many of us, that's unacceptable. If you dress fully with a wig, forms, hip padding and female clothes and shoes appropriate for the time and place, I would hope nobody would recognize you. Of course if they see you walking out of your house and getting into your vehicle or if you drive a lime green Corvette they may figure it out.

Get a wig that's a different color than your natural hair and wear female styled large sunglasses. Take photos and videos to see how you look.

[nevarrie]

I have finally got to the point I do not care any more. It is funny that I know it would not be a problem for my work and I know several people know there that I do but none of them have ever seen me in a dress. I have beautiful wavy long hair that I do not cover up with a wig and I usually have it styled fem daily so for most it would be seeing me with forms, a bra, a dress or a skrit and makeup would be the difference then seeing me on a normal day. The makeup can change my face but I know that I could easily be recognized.

I found the guy bar does not work as well for me since a lot of my coworkers hang out there but that i why I know I could come to work in a dress and most people would not care.

I am not as worried for myself when i am out as much as for my wife or for my kids. I am not sure what her co-workers and my kids friends would think of it and if that would cause any repercussions. I do know that my long hair does freak out some of my wives friends husbands since the think it is wrong that I have beautiful long hair. One of her friends husbands would be ok if I styles it like a biker but that I leave it long and flowing bothers him, but he accepts it since he know I send it to locks of love every few years when it get long enough.

[Eryn]

Speaking of recognizability, the car you happen to be driving can also give you away if it is recognizable so leave the red 'Vette at home.

[Tracii G]

I've seen lots of people I know while I have been out in girl mode and none have recognized me that I know of.

[cheryl reeves]

almost everyone that knows my mom and my 2 sis's knows im tg,i just dont flaunt it for my sis's hubby's are rednecks but they leave me alone. ive showed my mom once and at first she did not recognize me til i spoke..landladys asst came knocking and had no time to change so went outside in my fem cover up over my nitie...the person i worry more for is my wife for she doesn't have my dont give a dam attitude.

[Claire Cook]

I find myself somewhere between Eryn and Allisa on this one. When I am out and about and friends see me, I'm usually not recognized. If they do, or I choose to come out to them, it's actually not been a problem. As far as embarrassing my wife, when the two girls are out we are treated as just that. Perhaps I lean more toward Allisa. It's really about being me -- losing the shame and owning it.

[Angela Marie]

I've not really run into anyone I know and I do go out frequently to many places; shopping, dining, etc. I have come to the point where I am comfortable with who I am. I don't necessarily go looking to get spotted. As some people pointed out most would not recognize us dressed. And since my wife is supportive, but does not go out with me, that is not an issue. So my reaction is spare me your judgmental nonsense. I am a taxpaying, hardworking, well educated member of society. If seeing me in a short skirt and heels is an issue you have one of two problems: 1. You like the way I look and are afraid to admit it and/or 2. you're worrying too much about me and not concentrating on your life.