To elaborate a little on the title, I'd like to know if crossdressing in any way muddled anyone's gender identity. It could be now or last week or last decade. Did you our do you feel like your cross dressing stems from a nonbinary/fluid/trans/androgynous identity? Or are you completely cool with being a cis male with a penchant for panties?
I used to have conflicting feelings but now that I've accepted them, I've amalgamated them under one authority, all of it being myself.
Second star to the right and straight on till morning
Junius,
As confused as ever, so I start my gender therapy next week, wish me luck, I think I'm going to need it !
Confussion is normal because of how society is modeled. It makes you think that because you like women's clothing or how they look, you are less of a male, and its simply not true.
I used to go through horrible, terrible confussion, even questioned my sexuality or if I was transsexual.
But in the end, I'm an heterosexual male with a tendency towards what society associates with the feminine, and with a strong obssesion with looking like a woman, without being one.
I am not TS, and I know this well because I can't relate to what they feel. They, are women / men already before any transition. If I transitioned, I would still be a man, can't change that its my identity.
I wouldn't (we all would not) have to go through all this trouble if society had a better comprehension and of course, acceptance. Its all their fault, not ours, we are what we are just like them.
Last edited by Ezekiel; 08-07-2015 at 01:09 PM.
Yes crossdressing has contributed to the confusion of my gender identity.
Confusion is a very constante part of the journey. but this journey really makes you happy
i think per kates reply CDs may become more self-assured in time or rationalise themselves into that one authority .. its so obvious that there isnt a one size fits all ... fluid/trans/androgynous reflects that spectrum ... and thats not even addressing the phenomenon of the later/mature cd - has it been latent,dormant or just evolved .... so its easy to get confused!
I think the CD has helped me into understanding the I am a women and in itself my identity. I have accepted this and I am moving ever forward.
Erika
Personally I'd like to see these boxes of gender abolished. We might be happier if we could agree that gender is an out dated construct of our own making. At the same time many people need gender in their lives to stabilize themselves in this crazy journey called life. If we could all think like Kate then we could move forward as ourselves but without that fight, would being ourselves be worth it?
I'm willing to set aside my own muddled identity for the time being and take on a more androgynous/fluid presentation. If this is who I am (even if it's not), then I will find out along the way.
I've been edging slowly into the TG realm over the last few years, though it all stems from a vague but long-time feeling that I've never been 'entirely' or 'completely' male. I started cross-dressing in the last 6 months and that's definitely kicked things up a notch. I haven't yet ruled out the thought of being TS but I have the feeling (frankly, I'm hoping!) that it won't go that far. At the moment I'm pretty much okay with the self-identification as a somewhat genderqueer or gender-variant man.
But yeah, I'm still a bit confused about it all, to be honest
Last edited by Lorileah; 08-07-2015 at 01:43 PM. Reason: no need to quote OP
Sometimes I will take a hiatus from fully dressing up, where I will just not feel like dressing up at all.
Other than that, I personally feel no gender identity issues.
Melissa: "... and why are you dressed as a woman?"
Coach McGuirk: "Because it's freeing."
-Home Movies
(cartoon series)
Shoe size: 9 US women's.
Dress size: M to L; 8-10.
Height: 5' 6".
Probably a little off topic but it certainly has/had confused my sexual identity, not so much gender.
It seems that nearly every one of my posts mentions my SO but she really saved me in more ways I thought were possible.
I stopped trying to put a label on my sexuality and just live it as best as I know how:.....say it with me......One Day At a Time.
I was confused and then thought I had figured it all out. I even proclaimed that I had managed to integrate the full range of my gender identity into one nice package, all tied up with a bow. I was ready to help others and shine a light on the truth. Wow, I was so ahead of myself and reality that I'm almost embarrassed by my uninformed false confidence.
I've peeled back a couple of layers now and I'm as confused as ever. Maybe therapy is contributing to that, because I have more facts and I've given myself permission to think about it in depth. I understand things better the more I think about it, but I have no good idea of where to go next. I'm just trying to figure out what will give me the greatest peace of mind and every option I consider is out of balance in one way or another. Nothing so bad that I want to quit or give up, but it remains a puzzle that keeps me guessing. Your ideal state that accepts gender as a range is something I've wished for, but since it doesn't exist now, I'm still attempting to find a spot where I can sit in balance for a while.
Sarah
Being transgender isn't a lifestyle choice. How you deal with it is.
I'm a woman with male body parts. When I get dressed, I'm trying to match the picture in my mind's eye. In other words, I'm trying to look more normal. I can do the male thing, but I always have to think about it. When I just act naturally, I revert to female mode.
No, I'm not confused.
It's never confused me as far as what gender I feel I am. I'm a guy and will always be a guy.
The confusing part for me is why I started doing it and why I still like it, now more than ever.
When I'm dressed I do feel & try to act more feminine but I know I can never be totally.
A little sad but it is what it is & I am what I am. Off to eat my spinach now.
Hugs
Samantha
Only confused when I need the toilet, sometimes go for the ladies room out of habit, when I'm dressed as a bloke.
My cross dressing stems from a duality (main personality and a strong sub personality who now wants her "air time" as she has had many decades in lock down mode)
See all my photos, read many stories of my outings and my early days at
http://rachelsauckland.blogspot.co.nz
The main thing I eventually realized is that I don't have to be "this" or "that", I only have to be "myself". How others view me is entirely up to them.
Second star to the right and straight on till morning
You've got your cause and effect reversed. Gender identity..you call it confusion, I'd call it natural variation...leads to CDing for many, if not most. In the case of fetish dressers, the cause is an association between the garments or appearance of a woman and sexual pleasure. I doubt many people are in it because the fabric feels nice.
Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one.
Eleanor Roosevelt
I think I may have been confused at first and then started cross-dressing. Or was I just a confused cross-dresser?
I was definitely confused, but time and thought has helped me to understand things a bit better. I still have a long way to go, though.
Eryn
"These girls have the most beautiful dresses. And so do I! How about that!" [Kaylee, in Firefly] [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
"What do you care what other people think?" [Arlene Feynman, to her husband Richard]
"She's taller than all the women in my family, combined!" [Howard, in The Big Bang Theory]
"Tall, tall girl. The woman could hunt geese with a rake!" [Mary Cooper, in The Big Bang Theory]
Hi Junius, It's Mind over Matter, If I don't Mind then it doesn't Matter.
Having my ears triple pierced is AWESOME, ~~...
I can explain it to you, But I can't comprehend it for you !
If at first you don't succeed, Then Skydiving isn't for you.
Be careful what you wish for, Once you ring a bell , you just can't Un-Ring it !! !!
I've never been conflicted about being a cross dresser. I'm a dude and happy being so.
When I first started dressing, I was super confused and worried. But over time I eventually found some answers and the confusion lessened. I'm still finding answers, but as of right now, I'm a genderfluid individual. My dressing didn't cause my gender identity to change. Rather, my identity caused me to change how I dress. However, the dressing did come first and prompted me to search for the answers. so I suppose the answer to your original question is yes, crossdressing muddled my internal definitions.
I am a bit confused when I try to examine why I feel the need to wear dresses; especially when I acknowledge the fact that by doing it could have negative consequences if I get caught. From some of the posts before mine, I get the sense understanding will come with time; I'm sure I'll figure this out eventually, I hope.
Definitely confused, but I think that rather than the cross dressing leading to more confusion, it's helped me to focus on and express a part of myself that I have repressed for far too long.
Labels are tricky things, because what feels true today may not feel right tomorrow. Life is an evolving progress, and not a fixed snapshot. Is it accurate to say I am gender fluid and pansexual? Maybe that is close, today. Will I still think that fits me six months from now? I really don't know.
For myself, embracing the fact that I have a feminine side to my personality and that i like to express it in clothing and presentation has made me feel better about myself. I've come to accept that while I primarily am attracted to women (regardless of whether I feel more male or female myself at the time), other genders and orientations can be attractive too. I am who I am, and the only person I really need to satisfy in that regard is myself. I am very fortunate that my daughter is fully supportive or me doing whatever I please. Will my sister and other family members be as open minded, when and if they find out about this side of me? I hope so, but I feel no pressing need to blurt it out to them and risk my relationships with them, just to find out.
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