Results 1 to 10 of 10

Thread: Now that the dust has settled...

  1. #1
    Member Nadya's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2014
    Location
    Utah
    Posts
    423

    Now that the dust has settled...

    Hi everyone!

    I haven't been online in a while because life has been crazy lately. I've had so many positive steps in my life moving closer to being the person I truly am. Today, I totally just got both of my ears pierced! Yay! I had recently gotten married to a wonderful woman that accepts me for who I am and she's been supportive of the decisions I hope to make down the road. While I won't talk about our wedding itself, we did sneak some references to me being transgender in our vows (subtly) as well with my wedding ring being pink and purple underneath and titanium on the outside. It helps me feel connected to the community when I can't be myself. Before the wedding, I told myself that I was going to come out to my groomsmen. This was an important step for me because even though I thought they wouldn't care, it was an important emotional barrier that I had to overcome. So let's back up for a second. If anyone had been following me on what's been going on with my life, I had come out to a friend of mine that was very much supportive of the LGBT community so I had decided that she was going to be the first person I told that knew me since high school. So, one day while her husband was at work and after a stressful morning dealing with family issues, I suddenly had lost the resolve to care about what others thought about me. Just one of those days where who gives a crap was kind of my attitude. I called her up and eventually got it out and it almost felt like an out of body experience. I heard what was coming out of my mouth but I couldn't believe it. It was like I know I'm saying it but I would never let out my deepest darkest secret. She had accepted it and even asked all the right questions (what pronouns? etc.). That made our friendship even better. This also made it easier to move on to other friends because she's married to a good friend of mine from high school. This was definitely harder to do. I have always felt better connections with women socially and having conversations about feelings with some of my guy friends was just weird.

    As I was working up the nerve to tell my friend's husband, time was running out. My wife and I were getting married soon and I wanted to tell the all of my groomsmen who I really was and my friend's husband was part of that group. In a last minute panic, I told my friend to tell him for me and I totally chickened out (Not all of the experiences can be winners). Her husband was totally fine with it and said some really wonderful things to me to make me feel better about it. Unfortunately, my plan to tell the other two of my guy friends didn't work out because of time. Our wedding was in a few days and we were traveling. My groomsmen had a bachelor party planned for me 2 days prior to my wedding. It was a nice camping retreat away from everything. It was just us, a shack with a nice wood stove and lovely stream that ran past the shack. As we were enjoying the night and after a few drinks, I thought "What better time to tell my friends?" These guys have known me for the longest out of all of my friends and they were always there for me. After gathering up some liquid courage, we sat in the shack and again I had that weird feeling like my body was on autopilot and words were coming out that I never thought I would say. My 2 friends looked at me (the other groomsman wasn't there yet) in a brief silence after I explained myself and then they both got up and hugged me. I began to cry as I finally could be myself with my friends in ways I couldn't before. Since then, there's been a few questions here and there and I expect more down the road but it's been mostly just expressing support and love. My circle of support is growing and what seems to be the biggest hurdle is my own preconceptions of what will happen and imagining the worst. I realize that not everyone will have the same experiences as I will when coming out to close friends. I've been planning and sorting out who I was to tell for a few months now. It really gets easier with more experience. Like I've said as well as many others here have said, if you have a desire to come out to people, chose who you pick to do that with wisely. Family may have a harder time with it but good friends are the family you choose to be with. Good luck to those of you who are considering coming out yourselves. Hugs <3

  2. #2
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Location
    A bit south of the 49th!
    Posts
    23,676
    It's truly a remarkable set of coming out circumstances. But I wonder if the fact that you were so forthright,..with liquid courage...fpreflects not only your resolve but also the calibre of your closest friends. I suspect that is why coming out worked out.
    Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one.

    Eleanor Roosevelt

  3. #3
    Member LeslieSD's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Location
    San Diego, California
    Posts
    354
    Congratulations!

    It feels good to come out to your friends and get their support. I am really happy for you. :-)
    Leslie's Advanture into the Unknown - http://lesliesd.weebly.com/

  4. #4
    Banned Read only
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    Location
    UK
    Posts
    13,082
    Allaryce,
    I'm pleased you managed to tell your friends, all your fears melt away when you find how accepting people can be and it does get easier . I hope the wedding has gone well and everyone enjoyed celebrating your day .

    Please don't think I'm being a wet blanket but I was content that the number of people who knew was growing but as I questioned in a thread you're not fully out to many still. There's a big difference between people knowing and the reality of seeing you dressed, in that respect I'm not fully out to anyone ! No one has seen me fully made over only through my pictures, which have had a favourable response.

  5. #5
    Aspiring Member Samantha_Smile's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Location
    Warrington UK
    Posts
    955
    As I am among the "not been following what's been going on" group I just have a question.
    You mention 'life moving towards being the person you truly are', but also that you just got married (Congrats by the way, I just married my lady at the end of May)...
    So I was just curious, who is the 'true you'... Is this a nod towards transition, or did you mean than you will be able to be who you already are without that bullshit fear we all know and despise?
    Samantha -x-

  6. #6
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Location
    S.E.Baltimore Co. Maryland USA
    Posts
    43,781
    Hi Allaryce, That's when you know that they are real friends.
    Having my ears triple pierced is AWESOME, ~~......

    I can explain it to you, But I can't comprehend it for you !

    If at first you don't succeed, Then Skydiving isn't for you.

    Be careful what you wish for, Once you ring a bell , you just can't Un-Ring it !! !!

  7. #7
    Member Nadya's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2014
    Location
    Utah
    Posts
    423
    Quote Originally Posted by Smile View Post
    So I was just curious, who is the 'true you'... Is this a nod towards transition, or did you mean than you will be able to be who you already are without that bullshit fear we all know and despise?
    Hi Smile! Congratulations to you too. That's a fair question you asked and I'd say that living as who I truly am is what I meant but that also involves undergoing a transition although not going through SRS. My biggest problem is learning to love myself and be the person I really am and not try to live by others' standards which has made me miserable.



    Quote Originally Posted by Teresa
    "Please don't think I'm being a wet blanket but I was content that the number of people who knew was growing but as I questioned in a thread you're not fully out to many still. There's a big difference between people knowing and the reality of seeing you dressed, in that respect I'm not fully out to anyone ! No one has seen me fully made over only through my pictures, which have had a favourable response."

    Hi Teresa,

    Although none have seen me dressed up in person, some have seen the pictures I've posted. I didn't want to lay too much on them at once and give them time to process everything. All I wanted from them is love and support. We can work up to other things when they are ready. I'm happy to just be making more progress.
    Last edited by Nadya; 08-14-2015 at 09:40 AM. Reason: Combining two posts into one

  8. #8
    Stand-up Comedian En Fem❤ Alice_2014_B's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2014
    Location
    Puyallup, WA (USA)
    Posts
    4,605
    Very cool Ryce!
    That does take a lot.
    And its true, like you said, about it generally being easier to tell friends before family.
    Melissa: "... and why are you dressed as a woman?"
    Coach McGuirk: "Because it's freeing."

    -Home Movies
    (cartoon series)

    Shoe size: 9 US women's.
    Dress size: M to L; 8-10.
    Height: 5' 6".

  9. #9
    Call me Pam pamela7's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2015
    Location
    SW England
    Posts
    2,925
    Hey Ryce, that is fabulous and now you can reap the benefits of trusting real friends and all the support that brings. So pleased for you.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dJFyz73MRcg
    I used to believe this, now I'm in the company of many tiggers. A tigger does not wonder why she is a tigger, she just is a tigger.

    thanks to krististeph: tigger = TG'er .. T-I-GG-er

  10. #10
    Gold Member Dana44's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2015
    Location
    Central Texas
    Posts
    5,982
    Ryce, Good for you. That is a nice story and I'm glad that all is working out.
    Part Time Girl

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  


Check out these other hot web properties:
Catholic Personals | Jewish Personals | Millionaire Personals | Unsigned Artists | Crossdressing Relationship
BBW Personals | Latino Personals | Black Personals | Crossdresser Chat | Crossdressing QA
Biker Personals | CD Relationship | Crossdressing Dating | FTM Relationship | Dating | TG Relationship


The crossdressing community is one that needs to stick together and continue to be there for each other for whatever one needs.
We are always trying to improve the forum to better serve the crossdresser in all of us.

Browse Crossdressers By State