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Thread: Rle

  1. #101
    Silver Member Angela Campbell's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Michelle789 View Post


    there are people that I know of personally who believe rigidly that you should revert to male mode in the event that a family member gets sick, and you need to take care of them, and they request that you be in male mode when family is present. I disagree with both sides. I believe it's up to an individual to decide what's best for their transition, and to execute transition to the best that circumstances allow. Sometimes, we just have no control over what circumstances life will present us.


    I agree that sometimes you have to do what is best for your situation, but this example is one of which tells me that the person is not full time and is not experiencing RLE. To de transition for any reason means that you are not living full time. You have not fully transitioned to full time if there is ANY reason you would revert back. That is the entire reason for the RLE, to gain the experience of NOT being able to go back. If there ARE reasons then you may not be ready....suppose you had SRS and later decided that you really want a penis because of a new lover....? You cannot go back....RLE is there to affirm that you get the experience of not going back.


    That said I also believe that everyone should be responsible for their own actions and live with the results of those actions. Therefore I do see RLE as both a useful tool for the person seeking SRS (one that I did follow) and one that is firmly a gatekeeper tool to protect you from yourself.
    All I ever wanted was to be a girl. Is that really asking too much?

  2. #102
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    Quote Originally Posted by Peggie Lee View Post
    LeaP
    As for me, RLE began 18 months ago and life's ups and downs will always be there no matter what, I have not experienced any difference in my second year other than my SRS date is now only 60 days away.
    I'm certainly happy that is has not been dramatic for you. Nonetheless, I would HOPE that those who commented on the phenomenon weren't simply talking about life's little ups and downs.
    Lea

  3. #103
    Senior Member stefan37's Avatar
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    It's not life's up and downs. My life is actually going well. I get along well and work well with my ex. My family is supportive. Business is phenomenal. I am extremely healthy. I had a rough month with a severe week of being gendered male. It most likely has do with expectations. I spent a small fortune on facial reconstruction and to pull up to someone and get gendered male was a tad deflating. Don't get me wrong the surgery worked and it introduced a whole new level of comfort. Living full-time without the benefit of facial surgery was a good experience. I had to concentrate on the little stuff that cues us male. Maybe it was the expectation of facial surgery. The surgery allows one to instantly be gendered female. But spend some time with people and they tend to figure out somethings off. If could be the stress of s tr SRS. Surgery is planned for early Nov. I am still waiting for preop clearances from my gastroenterologist. My family doctor has cleared me. I am still about 10 grand short and I need to have my payments in 6 weeks.

    2 years full-time. I have only begun to scratch the surface to being accepted as female. I am excepted in the woman's locker room where I swim daily, but it is a different interaction than the other women have with each other.

    I am comforted that others here father along and more experienced have gone through periods I am experiencing now. And this experience is more common than some of the fairy tale transitions I read about.
    "When failure is off the table the only thing left is to negotiate levels of success" M Hobbes

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  4. #104
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    I took this off the frequently asked questions on the NHS Gender clinics website. (West London mental health).
    http://www.wlmht.nhs.uk/gi/gender-id...ked-questions/

    How long will the process take?
    There is a two year real life experience (RLE) of living in the reassigned gender role at the GIC for people who want to have genital reconstruction surgery (GRS). This is dated from the start of full-time gender role transition after which they can be assessed for referral for GRS. The RLE includes at least a year in some form of agreed occupational activities.


    Why do I have to do the real life experience (RLE)?
    The RLE, sometimes called the real life test is the period of time when a person lives 100% in their preferred gender. This means that they are known to their friends and family as well as at work (paid or voluntary) or at their place of study or daily occupation as their preferred gender.

    The literature and our own clinical experience, as well as the national and international guidelines are very clear that people have fewer regrets after surgery and hormones if they have had experience living all the time in their preferred gender. Consequently before referring for surgery we do ask people to have completed the RLE.

    Occasionally people who are certain that they want hormonal and surgical treatment at the outset of their gender reassignment treatment at the GIC do revert back to their initial gender role even as late as 18 months into the RLE. There are examples of people who have “detransitioned” then regretted changes made in the course of transition.
    Last edited by becky77; 08-22-2015 at 02:35 AM.

  5. #105
    Platinum Member Eryn's Avatar
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    I read many statements like that above, but I've still not found any actual studies on the efficacy of RLE.

    What do statements like "The literature and our own clinical experience, as well as the national and international guidelines are very clear that people have fewer regrets after surgery and hormones..." truly mean?

    It means "We read that others are forcing their patients to have RLE because they feel it leads to fewer regrets so we will do the same thing here." "Literature" does not mean "legitimate clinical studies" though that is what they are trying to imply. Their "clinical experience" doesn't count for much because they have no clinical experience with anyone not complying with their concept of RLE! All their information about poor outcomes for people who did not do RLE is anecdotal, and anecdotes are not how science is legitimately done.

    One wonders what the reaction would be if women who wanted breast enhancements were forced to wear breast forms 24/7 for 1-2 years before being allowed the surgery? Yes, it would reduce the amount of "post-breast-enhancement regret" but it would be rightly viewed as condescending.

    Now, that being said, in my own case I wouldn't conceive of surgery without having lived the way I intend for a considerable period of time. I'm just not that focused on my genitalia for this to be a hardship. However, that is my own personal belief and others should have the freedom to feel and act differently if they see fit.
    Eryn
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  6. #106
    What is normal anyway? Rianna Humble's Avatar
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    Eryn, I'm glad to read that you are so familiar with the experiences of the trust that have been supporting me. I have heard a rumour, though, that my doctor may be considering retirement. Could you tell me how much longer he plans to stay?
    Check out this link if you are wondering about joining Safe Haven.

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  7. #107
    Platinum Member Eryn's Avatar
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    Rianna, I don't understand your question. I believe that you may be referring to my interpretation of the piece of boilerplate text that I quoted, but I don't see any relationship to a "trust."

    I am simply pointing out that many of those who promulgate RLE rules are simply repeating what has been done before. They try to make it sound justified by referring to vague sources like "the literature" but it still seems that there is no substantial research behind their policies.
    Eryn
    "These girls have the most beautiful dresses. And so do I! How about that!" [Kaylee, in Firefly] [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    "What do you care what other people think?" [Arlene Feynman, to her husband Richard]
    "She's taller than all the women in my family, combined!" [Howard, in The Big Bang Theory]
    "Tall, tall girl. The woman could hunt geese with a rake!" [Mary Cooper, in The Big Bang Theory]

  8. #108
    Senior Member stefan37's Avatar
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    Forget all the WPATH recommendations, surgeries etc. If you need to TRANSITION and live as the opposite gender FULLTIME 24/7. It will realistically take over a year to assimilate and integrate.

    If someone needs to move faster than a year. Good speed to them. I can almost guarantee they will have a very difficult transition. That isn't too say some have the genetics, financial means and legal support to do it successfully sooner. But the majority of us have at least one and in many cases multiple obstacles that prevent moving that quickly. There is so much discussion in this thread about SRS. Most later life transitioners will find it easier to live 24/7 and experience I higher level of comfort with FFS. FFS will do more to improve your quality of life. I am not addressing the small minority that differs from extreme body dysphora.

    Transition is a very long process. One should have a five year plan to fully and completely integrate
    "When failure is off the table the only thing left is to negotiate levels of success" M Hobbes

    "Never Let your Fear Decide Your Fate" Awolnation

    "A new dawn destroys the tranquility of the darkness" Steph W

  9. #109
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    Steph, yes. While I have been talking about speeding things up, in fact, I have been slowed by circumstances thus far.

    Control is illusory.
    Lea

  10. #110
    Member Kimberly Kael's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Eryn View Post
    I am simply pointing out that many of those who promulgate RLE rules are simply repeating what has been done before. They try to make it sound justified by referring to vague sources like "the literature" but it still seems that there is no substantial research behind their policies.
    It's not my field but I'd be shocked if "the literature" were intended as a vague way to obfuscate the lack of research. Collective psychiatric experience and what social science does exist may well confirm the need for an adjustment period. I'd be quite surprised if it were otherwise, given my own anecdotal experience with friends, colleagues, and acquaintances who have transitioned. Those who take a slow and steady approach seem to fare rather better than those who try to set speed records. I worked with one fellow who went full steam through BA, FFS, etc. at the same time as a public transition complete with television interviews. He has since de-transitioned.
    ~ Kimberly

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