Nicely put, Kristyn... yes, I think the same although I express feminine much, much less than some on this forum who just do it for 'fun'...?
And the accepted definition of the term is as an umbrella for gender identity OR expression that crosses NORMAL societal standards. It doesn't mean you're TS Eva, and you should just enjoy, manage, deal with... whatever... this weird condition in the best way you can.
There's a lot of denial and attempted rationalisation of what we do, but if any of us didn't have something more feminine about us than the other 99%+ of cis-males, we wouldn't dress like females, we wouldn't use a femme name (nods to Ezekiel here...), we wouldn't get all gooey about our latest dress or wig find, and we certainly wouldn't post those pics for a whole bunch of regular guys to comment on our choice of heels or accessories.. and it's that extra feminine expression shard in us all, that makes us TG. Or we'd all be on JUST the woodworking site, or JUST the train site, or JUST the car site, or JUST the bike site.... Not here...
Katey x
"Put some lipstick on - Perfume your neck and slip your high heels on
Rinse and curl your hair - Loosen your hips, and get a dress to wear" Stefani Germanotta
It's often been said in these discussions that labels are for soup cans. For what it's worth, I agree with Paula and Jorga, but increasingly it seems that the press and media seem to equate transgenderism with transsexualism.
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC] Proud member of the Lacey Leigh Fan Club
This question is asked here very often but periodic postings are good for us to review where we are. Back in the 80's when I was frequenting NYC events dressed to the nines in heels and satin dresses I never would have thought I was transgendered. With all the new info out there now and some more years under my body shaper I gladly admit that I am transgendered. I identify as male and female. My profession as a Hospice nurse allows me to express my more feminine side of compassion and sensitivity toward my patient's and their families' needs. Yet, like you, I still enjoy my time in the garage with my '33 Chevy and '65 Rambler. I have a wonderful relationship with my grandchildren even though I will admit that I am a little closer to the granddaughters since I am not a big sports fan. I am close with my grandson who is in the chorus and does lots of theater. I tolerate freezing in the stands to watch his brother play football like any good grandparent. I guess that sounds like "girlie whining" but tan that is who I am and I'm fine with that. I would have liked to be able to express my feminine self with all my family but that is Jenner's world, not mine. Maybe in 2050 that will be O.K. Maybe in my next life. Until then, I'm at peace knowing that I am transgendered and having found my place in the world. Transgendered is not the horrible label it used to be and as the public gets bombarded by shows like "Call Me Cait" and "Jazz" there me be some softening of public opinion.
I don't think transgender is what you are. You sound like me. You just love to wear womens clothes because they look good and feel good. I treat it like a hobby, that I hope I never grow tired of. Daviolin
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A CD AND HIS WARDROBE, ITS A BEAUTIFUL THING.
Pssst, look under the T.
*shakes head*
You do realise why I asked that question in response to Krisi's comment?
yes Jenni, we know why you asked it.. ironically, the intended target of the question is probably blissfully unaware of the irony of her original statement anyway and will therefore, quite ironically, miss the irony of your subsequent question.
Oh and Jorja.. haven't you heard.. it's now LGBT+.. we had to have a designation for all those who are "just crossdressers plain and simple".. next it will be LGBT+% for all the half and half.. and in 10 years time it will be have a high security rating as a password
Why is there the attempt to make sure members do not fit under transgender umbrella? If it is just about the clothes 100 percent then why the female names? Why associate or converse with other people who assume female names? Why wear make up or a wig or even attempt to present as female ? I understand that there a lot of you who love being male and this is a hobby. No complaints and I think that is great. But if you like expressing femininity and were born genetically male aren't you somewhere on the spectrum even if at the opposite end from me? Why so adamantly profess you are all male ? Isn't that part of the shame we all grew up with ? No offense intended I just want to understand how such all male people can have a need to have a female name and presentation.
Suzanne
Think about it this way. How do you feel when you make the decision to dress (that is before you start getting ready)? What is your motivation? Like Sugarbabe I have moments when I distinctly feel one gender or the other. Those feelings affect my reactions to situations, like am I going to act with empathy or with aggression. Of course its when my feelings are more feminine that I feel the pull to make the outside reflect the inside. Why that happens is the $64,000 question for all of us.
Bridget
Your friendly, neighborhood cyber CD.
1 - Transgender term has been so skewed by the media that right now it makes people think it equals TS.
2 - They seem unable to see that by standing united, whatever is your identity, we will gain the respect we deserve. For the people who's never had any proclivities of crossing gender norms in any sense, they don't really care as it is right now, what you are, they don't get it.
Stand united, explain properly that Transgender actually means "Transgresion of gender norms" whatever they may be, and we will reach a point where we will start to be seen as normal.
You are a male? Okay, its all good, but you dress in what your society considers ment for the other gender. So just by that little fact, you are already Transgender, as in you are transgreding the norm, like when you transgress anything else that is a rule by convention of society.
All of us here, whatever may be our identity or predilection, we are all the same in one thing, we are insurgents of gender.
Suzanne F, I think you might have just made some money for the makers of Tylenol or Motrin.
Chickens should be allowed to cross the road without having their motives questioned
as with everything in the world, definitions that are misunderstood, need to be corrected. By saying you're not something when you are confuses the people you talk to and everyone around you. I get the feeling that so many here will spend 6 hours on makeup and zero minutes on education because it's too hard for them
The earth is the mother of all people and all people should have equal rights upon it.
Chief Joseph
Nez Perce
“Love isn't a state of perfect caring. It is an active noun like struggle. To love someone is to strive to accept that person exactly the way he or she is, right here and now.” - Fred Rogers,
For me, When I first started going out en femme, I thought it was just about the clothes. I did not even have a female name for about the first nine months of going out. A lot of people do not want to confront the fact that they may be somewhere on the spectrum, so you just proclaim I am a male, who likes to occasionally dress up as a woman. It can be so much easier to not confront being on the spectrum.
I did confront that yes I am somewhere on the spectrum. It was much more than the clothes. Eventually I did select a female name. Now outside of work related stuff, I am mostly dressed en femme. Around a year ago I did not consider the idea of transitioning. Now I think of it as a real possibility. I have even changed my e-mail accounts to not reflect my first name, but now it reflects first and middle initial and last name. So if I go for a name change my first and middle name will still have the same initials.
Where I am right now is a place over 4 years ago I never thought I would be at. Now a lot of my thoughts are occupied with the idea of transitioning at least to some degree. In a lot of ways it would be so much easier if I could have clung to the idea that I am just a male who likes to occasionally wear female clothes. It is not always easy for me to confront who I am, but I am a better person for it. Now I am starting to view myself as a woman. Hopefully some day I can live as the person that I truly am.
Last edited by grace7777; 08-20-2015 at 05:15 PM.
I honestly wouldn't be asking these types of questions here. 90% of these people here are very unsupportive and will just start being completely rude to you after you have posted here a few times. I come to read, but hardly post anymore, due to the fact that many people here have nothing else better to do than to put people down, question their judgement, etc.
"Be who you are, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise"
"If you're not transgender, you don't understand, so STFU"
'I'm not transgender, I am a crossdresser'
Is the SAME thing as saying :
'That's not liquid, it's water!'
Exactly. But water IS a liquid. Much in the same way that a crossdresser IS transgendered. Why is this so difficult to understand?
Why do I get the feeling that people who don't want to exist under the accepted umbrella term, have some personal, negative association attached to it... Don't like the TG label? FINE, how about not calling it a label. Lets call the term transgender a category. A category that encompasses all gender variance in between the polar opposite ends of gender expression, or at the very least, what society considers normal expression for ones birth given gender. What are they going to say now? 'But I don't like categories'.... Sigh.
Don't like being thrown into the same box as all the other TG terms? Great, whatever makes you feel better about yourself. You don't need to use the term if you don't like it. But I really don't think it's fair for anyone to throw their opinion around like it's a fact. These terms, labels, words are there so we can decide for ourselves where we exist under the umbrella. Whatever word seems to fit most closely with your acceptance and situation, I would say, is probably the term you should be using. Not doing this just confuses the hell out of people who are truly ignorant to the actual meanings of these words, and now have someones opinion giving them (in some cases) flat out wrong definitions of said terms.
Tracy, Abigail, Suzanne and others...thank you for bringing some common sense to the post. Can't say it enough: you crossdress because you are transgendered. People, what is so hard to understand about this? Protest if you want, but it doesn't change the fact. So you can either wear the label with pride, or you can wear it in denial and shame.
Without reading all the comments all ready given I'll give you my $0.02. The short answer YES you like to where the clothing of the opposite gender. Now to explain.
I thik there should be a scale and maybe there is maybe a 1 to 10 rating with 1 being the lost, LIkes to dress occasionally in private and 10 transition. I would say you fall at a 1 or 2.
I am very similar I dress when I can enjoy it find it erotic usually although this has diminished as I have aged. I enjoy guy things, although not sure why we call them guy things, girls can like them to I just also enjoy high heels. My advice accept your fate enjoy don't worry about and please keep it in perspective with the rest of your life.
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]Sallee
I was never in any denial that I was transgender from the first time I ever put on lipstick and tights, even though the cross dressing has become mostly irrelevant to the means of expressing my identity now.
You gave a very good definition of what you do in the OP. If this is your definition of "transgender", then you can call yourself transgender. Everyone else does.
I define "transgender" as an umbrella term for anyone who engages in practices culturally deemed appropriate for the opposite gender than birth sex (for most people, gender ID does match birth sex). Dressing and presenting as a female, for a birth male, fits.
The media refers to people who have transitioned as "transgender". They have it wrong, people who have transitioned like Caitlin Jenner are transsexual. Caitlin is altering her male sex (her body) with hormones, she has had breast augmentation surgery, facial feminization surgery, trachial shave, she may or may not opt in the future for SRS. So in effect, Caitlin is moving ("trans" means to cross) from her birth-male-sex status into female-sex status. True, Caitlin will not be able to fully change her sex from XY to XX, but she is doing as much as medical science will allow. Hence the proper term, "transsexual".
Reine
It doesn't help to understand the differences when people are called trans.