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Thread: Have you been with a guy?

  1. #226
    Full time NY state girl MarciManseau's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Krisi View Post
    It almost seems like you are saying that being bisexual is somehow less deviant than being gay. Like you are trying to defend it.
    No less deviant, just more fun
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  2. #227
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    From my experience, I wouldn't say "more fun". I would say equally as enjoyable.

    DeeAnn

  3. #228
    Member Jennifer0874's Avatar
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    I would say not deviant at all. Just normal for a lot of us.

  4. #229
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lilli View Post
    Then the first disillusion: I couldn't do in reality what I had done to my prothetic piece at home. My throat wouldn't allow it. i tried and re-tried. No go. So I couldn't do what I imagined. What then? I tried to do what I could but after 5 minutes or so I felt sore and thoroughly unenthusiastic about it. It was like work. I kept up the smiles and the banter, but it was really work.
    Felt even stronger that i was pretending to be something rather than being something.
    Cheers
    I'm reminded of an old blues song by the late Joe Williams:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1qeM8kKynjc

    "If you're feelin' good, it's because you're supposed to/And if you're not feelin' good, you ain't doin' it right!"

    You may be right that it wasn't for you and best remains a fantasy, but there's always "If at first you don't succeed, try, try again"

  5. #230
    eyah! Mink's Avatar
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    with how strict they are about shutting down threads it is kinda weird this one survives?

    not only would it freak out wives / GFs etc just trying to learn about this whole thing...

    but what does Being With A Guy specifically have to do with Crossdressing?

    it's more of a side-note to what it's really about...

    I've seen threads closed for far far less!

  6. #231
    New Member CathyWallace's Avatar
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    I'm a gay male and have been with lots of guys. Most gay men are not attracted to crossdressers, but fortunately some are. I find that there is a little shame/guilt when I connect with a guy as a guy, but just pure joy when I connect with a guy as a tgirl. Perhaps I should have been a heterosexual female.

  7. #232
    Ice queen Lorileah's Avatar
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    Mink...first the OP asked about dressing and being with a guy.
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  8. #233
    Member Tashee's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by FeliciaCDSNJ View Post
    I've been with a guy before. It was interesting to say the least and without turning this post into a xxx story. Would I do it again? Yes, I've come to terms with myself that not only am I trans but also bisexual. I don't act on my urges because I'm with a wonderful woman, who I would not trade anything in the world for. It was different as I'm use to holding someone and to get held was different in a good way.
    Your last line You nailed it in my case--Being held (in that way) by someone who just happened to be the same sex was intense. It brought out ALL the same sensations I get when dressed. Can I replicate that as I searched? Nope Just as I can't replicate the call me Bi? I don't care. I dig & found the key to me is a deep connection Now if I was 18 and with all the BS Propaganda on the web I'd probably do things because of the heinous BS these young kids see repeptively: your a worthless man be a pretty girl you an do it while your young & objectify yourself & you will be happy-Awful advice- As time goes on that leads to alphabet diseases & as you age that once young shine goes away I swear some of these sites that promote that are borderline pedophiles and predators...JMHO

  9. #234
    Bad Influence mechamoose's Avatar
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    We are who we are,

    It isn't about genes. It is about want.

    I'm all over a pretty, sweaty man. It isn't about sex. It is more about appreciation of our differences.

    We all see and probably stoke those differences.

    - MM

    [SIZE=1]- - - Updated - - -[/SIZE]

    You either like 'gurls' or you don't.

    I like a pretty boi in a skirt. It isn't the same thing as a female in the same gear.

    It is a 'role' thing. Most men are far too butched up to even see it.

    - MM
    Last edited by mechamoose; 12-23-2015 at 04:03 AM.
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  10. #235
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mink View Post
    but what does Being With A Guy specifically have to do with Crossdressing?
    M:

    In my opinion, it is very definitely related as dressing seems to be an enabler for some. I think this is illustrated by the phrase "I feel like this when I'm dressed, but not when I am not dressed.". How often that occurs is difficult to say, but in the subset of the crossdressing population represented here, it comes up with some frequency.

    Anyway, that's my guess. Note that it does not apply to self-identified bisexuals. In my case, being intimate with men predated the first time that I dressed by about 5 years. Therefore, I wouldn't consider it an enabler for me.

    DeeAnn

  11. #236
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    For me, sex has to be preceded by some sort of romance. Kissing, hugging, fondling of body parts, etc. Not for long, perhaps but at least several minutes. I can't see me kissing and hugging another man, much less giving him oral or anal sex and strapping on a pair of boobs and a wig doesn't change that.

    And as for anal, once you pull down your panties, the stuff that flops out is certainly going to ruin the illusion of being a female.

    For anyone who identifies as gay, that's fine for me, I have no problem with a person's sexual preference. The problem I have is with people thinking that strapping on a pair of boobs and a wig can change their sexual preference. If you think it does, you are fooling yourself.

  12. #237
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    Quote Originally Posted by Krisi View Post
    The problem I have is with people thinking that strapping on a pair of boobs and a wig can change their sexual preference. If you think it does, you are fooling yourself.
    And that's the heart of it. I don't think it CHANGES anything. I think it UNCOVERS. My opinion, anyway. Consider it this way: what if crossdressing turned out to be a roundabout way of discovering one's true sexuality? I'm not talking about everyone, just some.

    DeeAnn
    Last edited by flatlander_48; 12-23-2015 at 11:13 AM.

  13. #238
    Senior Member samantha rogers's Avatar
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    I love how these threads come around periodically and stir up so many adamant declarations of defensiveness lol
    I consider myself pansexual but I also believe labels are silly and that sexual orientation is no more a binary than is gender. I think if people were not so conditioned by society to knee jerk responses about sexuality a lot more would be willing to acknowledge feelings they seem embarrassed to admit. I think guilt is silly and a waste of time. I wish more people would just relax and enjoy love where ever it can be found....it is so frequently not there when we need it.
    Most of my life I have been pansexual in theory but strictly heterosexual in practice because my partner was female, I was under the self deluding illusionc I was male, and I loved only her. Now, marriage ending, and five years into HRT, things have changed. Though still theoretically pansexual, I'm now interested pretty much exclusively in men. Regardless of theory, I've moved from hetero male to hetero female.
    And it's not just about sex, far from it. Truthfully the sex is a small part and far from the most important part.
    It's not something I can easily explain... it just is and it feels so right I can't believe it took me so long to get here. It's a very happy place for me.
    Every fear that held me back, when faced, has proven to be hollow.
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  14. #239
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    Quote Originally Posted by samantha rogers View Post
    And it's not just about sex, far from it. Truthfully the sex is a small part and far from the most important part.
    True. The concept of sexuality goes 'way beyond who you happen to be sleeping with and what you do...

    DeeAnn

  15. #240
    New Member StinaTv's Avatar
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    Thumbs up

    1. Has anyone done it before?

    Yes, finally after many years of fantasy!

    2. Did you feel guilty later about it?


    I thought i might but i didnt =)

    3. Did you get addicted to being with a guy?

    It was an great experience and i will "get laid" again *lol*

    4. Did you decide to go fulltime after being with a guy?

    No im comfortable bringing out the naughty woman in me att special accasions.


    Most Importantly
    5. Was it more pleasurable than straight sex? How did you feel?


    I hooked up with a older man (18years older) that i meet on a dating site. I came home to me. I was so nervous and horny that i shaked when i opened the door *lol*
    Im passive/sub. And when he started touching me like a woman it felt AMAZING. Everything felt great The feeling of have been used as a woman after he left my house was also great.
    Last edited by Sandra; 01-19-2016 at 01:08 PM. Reason: TMI

  16. #241
    Member XemmaX's Avatar
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    i have never had the interest, penises are kind of gross i think. but i guess different strokes for different folk and all that.

  17. #242
    Junior Member Nadine Robles's Avatar
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    1. Has anyone done it before?
    -Yes. The one and only time.
    2. Did you feel guilty later about it?
    -Not at all.
    3. Did you get addicted to being with a guy?
    -No, but had those rollercoaster like mixed feelings between "never again" and "Another ride please!"
    4. Did you decide to go fulltime after being with a guy?
    -I don't think that decision could be defined by one or more sexual experiences, it depends on a lot more.

    Most Importantly
    5. Was it more pleasurable than straight sex? How did you feel?
    It was... different. Strange, in many ways. Definitely pleasurable, but neither lesser or greater than straight sex. . The smells, the touch (surprisingly soft!) It felt weird at first but after I got into the role and became Nadine it became awesome!
    Would I do it again? definitely. But I'm currently on a steady relationship and I'm not the cheating kind, so it'll have to wait...

  18. #243
    ADMINISTRATOR Sandra's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by StinaTv View Post
    . The feeling of have been used as a woman after he left my house was also great.
    Sorry but how could have felt this you don't even have the plumbing of a woman.
    Sandra
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  19. #244
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    Quote Originally Posted by Krisi View Post
    For anyone who identifies as gay, that's fine for me, I have no problem with a person's sexual preference.
    Quote Originally Posted by Krisi View Post
    It almost seems like you are saying that being bisexual is somehow less deviant than being gay. Like you are trying to defend it.
    I'm going to call you out on your use of language here, Krisi. When you say that you 'have no problem with' it but at the same time state that being bi or gay is 'deviant' (while also implying that it's indefensible), it sounds as though you have at least some issues with non-heterosexual orientations. To say that sex with guys isn't your thing and you have no interest in it whatsoever is fine, but speaking in moralistic terms about others isn't helpful. What I'm hearing is "really, it's okay if you want to be a disgusting faggot", which resembles the sort of superficially-positive-but-implicitly-judgemental "love the sinner, hate the sin" stuff; it's a mixed message at best and a cloaked condemnation at worst. If I'm putting words in your mouth, though, please correct me.

    Quote Originally Posted by Krisi View Post
    This thread and ones like it are much of the reason I don't introduce my wife to this crossdressing forum.
    As to whether or not your wife would be confused about CDs by seeing this thread, wouldn't that present an opportunity for education? Pretty much every possible response to the OP is included here, and it just goes to show that the stereotypes of CDs are in no way accurate descriptors of every member of this group (or even a majority). In fact, I've gone through the thread, analyzed the responses to the best of my ability (which, admittedly, included some judgement calls) and attempted to relate them to the classic Kinsey scale of sexual orientation. I've come up with the following (based on 144 interpretable responses):

    • [0] Exclusively heterosexual (22%)
    • [1] Predominantly heterosexual (35%) *
    • [2] Predominantly hetero but more than incidentally homosexual (12%) **
    • [3] Bisexual (20%)
    • [4-6] More than incidentally homosexual (11%)

    More than two-thirds of the sample are entirely or predominantly heterosexual, and only 1 in 9 are more gay than straight. Many of the members, regardless of their orientation, also explicitly condemn cheating on spouses, which I think is a pretty positive statement.

    I excluded comments from GGs and, for simplicity, considered all remaining respondents as male (since we're supposedly talking about CDs rather than TSs). If people self-identified as a particular orientation I took them at their word even if I might personally have classified them otherwise based on their actual statements. Usually this was people identifying as bi when I felt they were less so, which I think accounts for the relatively high incidence of bisexuals [3] relative to lower ratings [1-2]. Based on the nature of this group, and because this is a voluntary survey, there's also certain to be some sort of response bias relative to the general population.

    * might consider it under certain circumstances, thinking about it but haven't done it, tried it with another CD, tried it but wasn't impressed
    ** bisexual but prefer hetero aka tried it and liked it but like women more

  20. #245
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sandra View Post
    Sorry but how could have felt this you don't even have the plumbing of a woman.
    To me the important word here is AS implying similarity. I wouldn't think that the intent was an exact comparison, but it would be interesting to hear what ST meant. And actually, how could one make an accurate comparison without a set of experiences from the perspective of a genetic female? I would assume that set of experiences would be all encompassing and not just limited to genitalia.

    DeeAnn

  21. #246
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sandra View Post
    Sorry but how could have felt this you don't even have the plumbing of a woman.
    It's amazing where fantasy can take a person, Sandra. I think it has to do with the whole role playing thing ... which renders having a vagina almost unnecessary.

    Quote Originally Posted by Mayo View Post
    • [0] Exclusively heterosexual (22%)
    • [1] Predominantly heterosexual (35%) *
    • [2] Predominantly hetero but more than incidentally homosexual (12%) **
    • [3] Bisexual (20%)
    • [4-6] More than incidentally homosexual (11%)

    More than two-thirds of the sample are entirely or predominantly heterosexual, and only 1 in 9 are more gay than straight. Many of the members, regardless of their orientation, also explicitly condemn cheating on spouses, which I think is a pretty positive statement.
    How did you classify sentiments like "Yes, I've had those feelings too" if they didn't say they tried it, or didn't disclose they tried it and it burst their bubble. I know people who fantasize about it but who were turned off by the actual experience of being with a man. So there's a category you didn't list, which is those people who are more turned on by the idea of being a sexual woman than having any real attraction to men (or perhaps even women). I think that being predominately autosexual is a different category than heterosexual, bisexual, or homosexual, although few people would be willing to classify themselves that way.
    Last edited by ReineD; 01-19-2016 at 02:49 PM.
    Reine

  22. #247
    KIM SHY KIM's Avatar
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    I never had any type of experience with a guy - many many years ago my wife and switched roles one evening -
    that was a fun and very hot time - We were both dressed as the opposite gender

    The concept at times seems like an intriguing fantasy, of which I am always dressed as AND treated like a lady

    Am I bi-curious? Maybe since the thought crosses my mind - don't know what the rule book says on that

    Not sure if I would ever follow thru if the opportunity ever came up (I'd probly kick off my heels and run)
    Sort of like when I'm in drab and flirting with a woman. If I sense she may have interest in me - I stop a.s.a.p
    (I joke with friends that I'm a catch and release type of guy) Perhaps "The hunt is more thrilling then the kill"

    Sometimes fantasies are best left as fantasies

    Those are ALL my non-committal - all over the road opinions

    Sometimes people try to overanalyze things - just go with the flow and enjoy life as it comes

  23. #248
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mayo View Post
    • [1] Predominantly heterosexual (35%) *

    If people self-identified as a particular orientation I took them at their word even if I might personally have classified them otherwise based on their actual statements. Usually this was people identifying as bi when I felt they were less so, which I think accounts for the relatively high incidence of bisexuals [3] relative to lower ratings [1-2].

    * might consider it under certain circumstances, thinking about it but haven't done it, tried it with another CD, tried it but wasn't impressed
    Quote Originally Posted by ReineD View Post
    How did you classify sentiments like "Yes, I've had those feelings too" if they didn't say they tried it, or didn't disclose they tried it and it burst their bubble. I know people who fantasize about it but who were turned off by the actual experience of being with a man. So there's a category you didn't list, which is those people who are more turned on by the idea of being a sexual woman than having any real attraction to men (or perhaps even women).
    Those responses I generally coded as a 1. If someone had never tried it but explicitly identified as bisexual, I coded them a 3 even though I personally felt they'd be more appropriately listed as a 1 or perhaps a 2. I don't claim it's a rigorous analysis but I did the best I could with the information I had available to me.

    EDIT: I'd probably code SHY KIM's post as a 1, for example, because of 'intriguing fantasy' and 'the thought crosses my mind', though I suspect it's more properly a 0 ('kick off my heels and run'). This is one of the tougher calls, though.
    Last edited by Mayo; 01-19-2016 at 03:08 PM. Reason: to reflect content of additional post prior to this one

  24. #249
    GG ReineD's Avatar
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    Fair enough!

    Although it would be nice to be able to factor in the fantasy element, which I think is an important one here and is a category in itself separate from any attraction to men and/or women. There are people who source their greatest sexual gratification on their own in this community.
    Reine

  25. #250
    KIM SHY KIM's Avatar
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    Shy Kim again
    To muddy the water more (and you can quote me) I hope I wouldn't run if the opportunity came up

    BUT more importantly. I think Reine had a great point when she mentioned THE FANTASY ELEMENT
    Anything created in the mind in many cases, for many people, is as real as if it actually happened physically

    As my wife and I both agree, the greatest sexual organ in either sex is the brain. Over 30 years together we have had hundreds of amazing sexual evenings together by sharing our fantasies.
    Doing so in some cases actually led us to follow thru on a few of them. When we did so we never had a regret.
    Maybe the "fantasy play" allowed us to be more prepared for the real thing?
    I'll leave that for others to weigh in on
    Kim

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