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Thread: Have you been with a guy?

  1. #26
    Still Exploring kryss.cd's Avatar
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    I've pleasured a few times and once with a couple (the female was not involved. Just watched) and at the end of it I felt like I was just being used for a fantasy of theirs. I do think I rushed into that situation instead of seeing the chemistry first though.

    1. Has anyone done it before? I've done oral with a few guys but never all the way. I enjoy it but if I think about going further than that I'm no longer interested or comfortable with it.

    2. Did you feel guilty later about it? I've been confused about it before but guilty isn't the word I'd use for it.

    3. Did you get addicted to being with a guy? Not really. I prefer women.

    4. Did you decide to go fulltime after being with a guy? I've never been fulltime and don't see myself going fulltime either.

    Most Importantly
    5. Was it more pleasurable than straight sex? How did you feel? I drew the line at oral so I guess it's about the same.
    Last edited by Sandra; 08-21-2015 at 10:58 AM. Reason: Read the rules TMI

  2. #27
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    ummm, i've a fantasy to do it with a guy and go all the way but it also creeps me out. I want to have that experience but its really hard. If i ever do it which i don't think will happen it would be with a stranger.

  3. #28
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    Quote Originally Posted by deebra View Post
    ... I think what you are feeling is what a lot of CD's feel as they advance along their CD journey which is adding more and more as we go along. Each additional step makes impersonating a woman feel better and better and we get more and more comfortable in the clothes. So it's only natural for you to be curious and have the desire to want to be in the same place as a woman having sex with a man, it would make you feel more womanly and validate yourself in female clothing. ...
    This can not be right. Dressing as a woman and have gay sex are unrelated! It is not a "natural" curiosity. Sex can not "make you feel more womanly" because cross dressers are not women. Unless you are trans this is just an excuse for someone who is gay or bi to come out of the closet.

  4. #29
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    Yes, i have been with both a gay man and another cross dresser. Didn't feel guilty. Find it very satisfying and prefer it to heterosexual encounters now.

  5. #30
    Gold Member NicoleScott's Avatar
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    Having fantasies doesn't make you anything other than a fantasizer. Acting on those fantasies does.
    The bridge between fantasy and reality is as long or short as you make it.
    My fantasies are mine. My bridge is long and has never been crossed.

  6. #31
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jenniferathome View Post
    This can not be right. Dressing as a woman and have gay sex are unrelated! It is not a "natural" curiosity. Sex can not "make you feel more womanly" because cross dressers are not women.
    I totally agree with you. In my opinion you are 100% right here. But in the last sentence...

    Unless you are trans this is just an excuse for someone who is gay or bi to come out of the closet
    Well, lets not jump into conclusions so quickly. Being aroused by men is one thing, and being aroused by a fantasy where one is crossdressed and acting as what the perceptions of being the "female" in sex with a guy, is another.

    Okay, I must say that the thought has never interested me in the least so I am not talking from experience this should be know, and im talking only in my humble opinion on the matter...but in my knowledge, there are others crossdressers, who are straight, and do like this type of fantasy, but they are not romantically or sexually attracted to men per se.

    As I said before, the guy seems to be there just for self satisfaction that helps to make them feel what they think femininity means, they don't actually like the dude, so thats why this issue is a little more complicated than it might appear at first.

    So no, in my opinion and from what I've seen, one does not have to be gay/bisexual to like this type of fantasy.

  7. #32
    Silver Member Tina_gm's Avatar
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    Just how straight are CDers when it comes to sex with women even? I mean, we have desires and fantasies to be a woman or to dress like them and a lot of other stuff.... and then we have sex with women, so, just how straight are we with women? I am not actually suggesting CDers are lesbians or that sex with women is actually gay, but, it does bend the line just a tad here and there perhaps? I would definitely stop thinking in terms of what straight is or what you are.... I don't think you are all that accurate with either, sorry.
    Chickens should be allowed to cross the road without having their motives questioned

  8. #33
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    Quote Originally Posted by kimdl93 View Post
    Our sexuality isn't what leads us to CDing.
    I know this is not what leads you or other TSs to express yourselves, but sexuality is a prime motive for many CDers. In fact, don't most CDers start off by masturbating while dressed or while fantasizing about being dressed? And once they experience that high, it sticks, even if it becomes less sexual with age. It has not been sexual for my SO for years, but it most definitely started out that way.

    To the OP, you should just bite the bullet and try it. You've been wanting to meet-up with folks on CL for years now. It's the only way to know whether it is for you, other people's experiences don't have a bearing on how you are sexually wired. Unless you just enjoy talking about it?

    You ask if being with a man will make you want to dress more. This all depends on how sexual the CDing is for you. Some CDers can get lost in the fantasy and they can maintain the illusion they are women even when having male-on-male sex. Just be smart about it and meet the person first in public, also let someone know where you will be when you do meet-up for sex. Bring your cell phone and let the person you are meeting know that people know you are there. Also, don't forget to use condoms.

    My SO did experiment with men and this is how he determined that it wasn't for him, even if he does occasionally have homoerotic fantasies. Fantasies are not related to what arouses us in real life. I have a fantasy that would literally be impossible to reconstruct in real life and if it was, it would be a real turnoff. lol.
    Reine

  9. #34
    MIDI warrior princess Amy Fakley's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by gendermutt View Post
    Just how straight are CDers when it comes to sex with women even? I mean, we have desires and fantasies to be a woman or to dress like them and a lot of other stuff.... and then we have sex with women, so, just how straight are we with women? I am not actually suggesting CDers are lesbians or that sex with women is actually gay, but ...
    This is insighful.

    When my wife and I are "doing things", my true nature comes out. In truth, it always has, which made sex before I came out to her pretty damn awkward for many, many years.

    These days, I can't even hide it. It's very obvious, from the way (and where) I like to be touched, and how I respond to that ... and the things that leads to (<monty_python>say n'more, say n'more</monty_python>) ... in my mind, I can't help but be who I really am in those moments, and who I am is really quite feminine.

    So ... from a certain perapective, it is maybe a little gay ... ??

    In the end we are who we are, and we like what we like, and it really just doesn't matter. Love is love :-)
    "Why shouldn't art be pretty? There are enough unpleasant things in the world." -Pierre-Auguste Renoir

  10. #35
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    I'm right there with you Amy. My wife won't have sex with me dressed as a woman but I still feel like I'm a woman having sex with another woman. You're right, I feel very feminine having while having sex even in guy mode. Does that make me a lesbian? I don't know nor do I care.

    In relation to the gay question, I'm generally not attracted to the male physique. When I first started CD I thought I must be gay but I'm not. However, I do enjoy things sexually that most gay men enjoy that my wife provides. All very complicated

  11. #36
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    Quote Originally Posted by gendermutt View Post
    Just how straight are CDers when it comes to sex with women even? I mean, we have desires and fantasies to be a woman or to dress like them and a lot of other stuff.... and then we have sex with women, so, just how straight are we with women?
    Sexual preferences do not change categories of sexual orientations. I don't like men, so I am hetero. No middle terms here, its a simple concept for me.

    The "just how straight are you with women" sentence does not make much sense to me, and honestly, it sounds a little narrow minded even if it attempts the contrary, to sound more open.
    Let me explain why I find it narrow... basically, it means that being straight is exclusively for folks who are, lets say, simple and traditional, in their sexual actions, and have none or little variance in their "roles".

    I am myself what I think you are defining here, I certainly prefer women who are assertive and have strong personality traits, and I prefer to take the submissive role in a relationship, however this does not make me gay in any sense, because I am only attracted to women, in whatever means or way it may be.

    With this situation, then why would I identify as anything else than heterosexual? When its obviousbly my right to define myself this way as I explained above given my nature?

    When my wife and I are "doing things", my true nature comes out. In truth, it always has, which made sex before I came out to her pretty damn awkward for many, many years.
    I get why you mean, and it is my situation aswell in a sexual sense. But seriously, I don't see why would that make us gay in any sense.

  12. #37
    Gold Member Samantha B L's Avatar
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    I've done it with guys 11 times. But I realize that there are large numbers of male to female crossdressers who are straight and they like girls.I like women too,my platonic lifetime partner was female.

  13. #38
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    Quote Originally Posted by gendermutt View Post
    Just how straight are CDers when it comes to sex with women even? I mean, we have desires and fantasies to be a woman or to dress like them and a lot of other stuff.... and then we have sex with women, so, just how straight are we with women? I am not actually suggesting CDers are lesbians or that sex with women is actually gay, but, it does bend the line just a tad here and there perhaps? I would definitely stop thinking in terms of what straight is or what you are.... I don't think you are all that accurate with either, sorry.
    Awesome point!

    Quote Originally Posted by ReineD View Post
    I know this is not what leads you or other TSs to express yourselves, but sexuality is a prime motive for many CDers. In fact, don't most CDers start off by masturbating while dressed or while fantasizing about being dressed? And once they experience that high, it sticks, even if it becomes less sexual with age. It has not been sexual for my SO for years, but it most definitely started out that way.

    To the OP, you should just bite the bullet and try it. You've been wanting to meet-up with folks on CL for years now. It's the only way to know whether it is for you, other people's experiences don't have a bearing on how you are sexually wired. Unless you just enjoy talking about it?

    You ask if being with a man will make you want to dress more. This all depends on how sexual the CDing is for you. Some CDers can get lost in the fantasy and they can maintain the illusion they are women even when having male-on-male sex. Just be smart about it and meet the person first in public, also let someone know where you will be when you do meet-up for sex. Bring your cell phone and let the person you are meeting know that people know you are there. Also, don't forget to use condoms.

    My SO did experiment with men and this is how he determined that it wasn't for him, even if he does occasionally have homoerotic fantasies. Fantasies are not related to what arouses us in real life. I have a fantasy that would literally be impossible to reconstruct in real life and if it was, it would be a real turnoff. lol.
    As usual, Reine hits the nail on the head. Also, I'm DYING to know what THAT fantasy is!!

  14. #39
    Non-binary/Questioning Mayo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ceera View Post
    Though I suppose it is possible that your feminine aspect is more inclined to the idea and might like it. Dressing doesn't change your sexual orientation.
    I think the OP is either potentially bisexual and very reluctant to admit the possibility or he is thinking that the more 'feminine' he acts (by dressing) the more that means he should want to enjoy sex 'as a woman', i.e. with a guy, as part of what's expected of someone in the feminine role. His language suggests to me that he may have a hefty dose of homophobic masculinity and is trying to deal with these thoughts but, as Paula said,

    Quote Originally Posted by I Am Paula View Post
    Having a woman in the room does not make it any straighter. Wearing a skirt does not make it any straighter.
    I think he may need to engage in some more introspection about this and what his feelings really are. If he decides to go ahead with it, he might indeed wish to 'have a woman in the room', but as an explicit MMF threesome, and that way he can see how he feels about being close to another man in a sexual setting (whether he is dressed or not). If he finds he can't deal with it, they can both concentrate on the woman instead. Or he could just watch some gay porn and see how he feels.

  15. #40
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    I was born a male, but i am 100% attracted to females. NEVER would i be with a guy. I'm a TransLesbian. I'm married to a CIS woman. Love her to death, and honestly, I don't want anyone else! Even IF i wasn't married, I wouldn't be with a guy, or a TransGirl unless she has had GRS. . .
    "Be who you are, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise"

    "If you're not transgender, you don't understand, so STFU"

  16. #41
    MIDI warrior princess Amy Fakley's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ezekiel View Post
    Sexual preferences do not change categories of sexual orientations. I don't like men, so I am hetero. No middle terms here, its a simple concept for me.

    The "just how straight are you with women" sentence does not make much sense to me, and honestly, it sounds a little narrow minded even if it attempts the contrary, to sound more open.
    Let me explain why I find it narrow... basically, it means that being straight is exclusively for folks who are, lets say, simple and traditional, in their sexual actions, and have none or little variance in their "roles".

    I am myself what I think you are defining here, I certainly prefer women who are assertive and have strong personality traits, and I prefer to take the submissive role in a relationship, however this does not make me gay in any sense, because I am only attracted to women, in whatever means or way it may be.

    With this situation, then why would I identify as anything else than heterosexual? When its obviousbly my right to define myself this way as I explained above given my nature?



    I get why you mean, and it is my situation aswell in a sexual sense. But seriously, I don't see why would that make us gay in any sense.
    In my mind, things feel very feminine, which leads to acts usually associated with gay sex between two women.

    Maybe it ain't gay, but it damn sure ain't straight.

    But then, as I stated earlier. It doesn't matter.

    People be carryin' on in this thread like you can accidentally "catch the gay".

    Loosen up, yall ... it ain't like we're all that normal of a crowd to start with. Why start drawing arbitrary lines between us?

    Love yourself for who you are, and forget about the rest of the BS in our culture!
    "Why shouldn't art be pretty? There are enough unpleasant things in the world." -Pierre-Auguste Renoir

  17. #42
    I am me! TrishaTX's Avatar
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    I think Reine is right...and if this is what you want then give it w girl. One time does not make you gay and who cares anyway...just a title...only you can know you.
    No regrets except I should have got dressed & stepped out sooner.

  18. #43
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    I think it's silly that some think as soon as you think about a guy, his appendage, etc. that you are bi or gay. They dismiss the CDing, the mimicing of females as little more than dressup. They discount any attempt to include the possibility that a female sexuality could exist in the mind of some CDers. If a CDer could have a partial feminine identity, why could it not also include sexuality?

    Why couldn't a CDer be 50% man and 50% woman mentally? Don't be so quick to label these CDers as people in denial. I had sex with a man once. It was "somewhat" enjoyable, but only when I "felt like a woman". I don't check out guys. I don't lust for them. But sometimes, in my most "feminine moments", I do. When I think about guy on guy sex, I cringe. When I see it online, I think "bleh". But thinking about being a she**** or a real girl? Yes, I like that. So tell me. How does that make me bi or gay?

  19. #44
    Silver Member prene's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by leonal123 View Post
    Hi,
    ...
    1. Has anyone done it before?
    2. Did you feel guilty later about it?
    3. Did you get addicted to being with a guy?
    4. Did you decide to go fulltime after being with a guy?
    Most Importantly
    5. Was it more pleasurable than straight sex? How did you feel?

    ... other's physical, emotional experience before taking this step.
    1) Never done that. I have been out with some gg's and a guy was with us.
    2,3,4,5) NA

    Have I thought about it ... YES

    Kind of wish I had a vagina though if that were to happen

  20. #45
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    AmandaM, i agree that cds can be a mix of both male and female but those two aspects are combined into one person. My understanding of bi is when an individual wants and would enjoy sex with both sexes. An individual man who enjoys only women is straight, an individual woman who enjoys only men is straight, but an individual who is part of both genders is still an individual and wanting and enjoying both sexes even when separated by the gender role you are in is in my opinion some variation of bi. I am also completely turned off by gay porn or man on man sex but having desire to be with both sexes to one degree or another puts me on the bi spectrum.

  21. #46
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    After dressing for several years I struck up a relationship with an openly gay man. We eventually met for coffee and continued to meet until it was sex in the car in a covered parking lot.
    1. I've been with him probably 15-20 times now.
    2. I never once felt guilty as I thought it was a part of me I wanted to try out always feeling as if I were deep-down, a woman.
    3. I see him maybe a few times a year so I know I'm not addicted to being with a guy.
    4. I am a closet CD and could not go fulltime due to work, etc.
    5. Some things were definitely more pleasurable than straight sex; I had always wanted to know what a woman feels like, giving and receiving pleasure and, of course, the ultimate for a woman. I know the physical feelings are different and that was wild, but so are the mental feelings of trying to imagine being the woman and letting go and enjoying it.
    I think after it's all said and done, I continue to enjoy it as a different variation of sex though I probably prefer straight sex more
    Last edited by Sandra; 08-22-2015 at 01:26 PM. Reason: Read the rules TMI

  22. #47
    Banned Spammer gabyespinotv's Avatar
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    i'm not gonna say names but everytime there is a post regarding this subject there are certain members who jump and say YOU ARE GAY I'M SO STRAIGHT...honestly..you're not fooling anybody but yourselves..

  23. #48
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    Leona,


    I really want to do it but I am wondering if I am going to regret it later. My questions are
    1. Has anyone done it before? Yes, several men.
    2. Did you feel guilty later about it? No not at all.
    3. Did you get addicted to being with a guy? Not really.
    4. Did you decide to go fulltime after being with a guy? No, I don't think men like CDs. Well some do.
    Most Importantly
    5. Was it more pleasurable than straight sex? How did you feel? Sex is sex. I love women and like men. Does that point it out clearly?
    Part Time Girl

  24. #49
    Stand-up Comedian En Fem❤ Alice_2014_B's Avatar
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    No.
    Nor do I have any desire to.

    Last edited by Katey888; 08-23-2015 at 05:19 AM. Reason: TMI - explicit content removed
    Melissa: "... and why are you dressed as a woman?"
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  25. #50
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    I've often times had the exact same fantasy. Always with a GG present. Never had an opportunity to live it though.

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