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Thread: Have you been with a guy?

  1. #76
    Non-binary/Questioning Mayo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by gendermutt View Post
    The MTF prostitutes are so feminine and convincing that the Marine who was found guilty for choking a TG likely did not realize what he was getting himself into, literally.
    Not that 'trans panic' or 'gay panic' is any excuse for murder whatsoever.

    And now back to your regular thread.

  2. #77
    Member Danielle Hyatt's Avatar
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    In a word NO WAY!!!

  3. #78
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    I've never had any interest in men either dressed as a guy or a girl. Don't get me wrong, there are a few men that I do find attractive but not sexually attractive.

  4. #79
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    Yes, I have been intimate with men. As a matter of fact, my list of male lovers is longer than the list of female lovers (note that neither is terribly long). However, the last time I was with a man was long before I dressed. At this point, I'm not looking for a male lover, so dressed or not doesn't really enter into the picture.

    DeeAnn

  5. #80
    Member StefaniLara's Avatar
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    To be honest with you, it's something that I haven't done, but it does intrigue me. One day, if I meet the right guy at the right time, maybe I would consider it. It's an experience I want to have, but just not right now.
    stefanilara.wordpress.com
    A Girl in disguise

  6. #81
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    if it was the right guy, and he was kinda fem, yes without a doubt, but its never happned yet

  7. #82
    Sixty Something Gypsy Sam's Avatar
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    1. (2x)some thirty years ago when adapting to new surroundings and no relationships. None since
    2 Confused but not guilty. Months latter frightened when confronting a previous partner in my work place serving the public.
    3. No further interest evolved as women were my preference for relationships.
    4. Not apply
    5. Stressful but not anywhere near the enjoyment of being with a woman.

    Do find the effiminate man who presents as female, a subject of my imagination.

  8. #83
    Junior Member Nolacdflorida's Avatar
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    I am surprised that I am answering this thread but here goes.

    1. Has anyone done it before? I have been intimate with two men. One was a friend and was my first encounter. We had both had a little too much to drink and so it went. The second was with a CD and we were both dressed. There was no intercourse, just oral on both occasions.

    2. Did you feel guilty later about it? After the first time, yes a little but we talked about it and the guilt went away. After the second time with the other CD there was no guilt whatsoever. Just absolute enjoyment.

    3. Did you get addicted to being with a guy? Definitely not, although I would like a repeat performance as I really enjoyed the second time.

    4. Did you decide to go fulltime after being with a guy? No. I love my wife (she doesn't know about my dressing) and I enjoy being a male.

    Most Importantly
    5. Was it more pleasurable than straight sex? How did you feel? Only had oral and it was absolutely wonderful, but still only want intercourse with my wife.
    "Life is too damn short to get hung up on gender issues" - Me

  9. #84
    Gold Member Alice Torn's Avatar
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    Only three men have i ever met dressed up. They gave me leg massages, and some touching, but i did not allow any penetration sex, or tongue kisses. Very few men want to meet, me because of my boundries and restrictions. I did enjoy it though.
    IT TAKES A REAL DRESS TO WEAR A MAN.

  10. #85
    When in doubt? Smile! Chrissi's Avatar
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    My sexual preference is men.
    As a "guy" I am gay, so is my BF.
    As Chrissi I am "straight" until the lingerie comes off, then I am gay again.
    Living my happiness and facing my problems as ME...no more filter... is...so...much...everything...better!

  11. #86
    Member drushin703's Avatar
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    I honestly never let things go that far. Role play. Foundling perhaps. maybe a kiss or two on my cheek. But never sex with a man........Although I must admit to being attracted to a certain drag queen at the local bar who is just knock-out gorgeous,
    the thought of waking up next to some skinny, breastform-less, male with their hip pads removed, causes me great pause. All crossdressing is the most fun a man could ever have. But mature, responsible crossdressing means you make
    logical, guiltless, healthy choices....just my opinion....dana

  12. #87
    Bad Influence mechamoose's Avatar
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    'Guys' are just us. We are walkers between worlds

    We want the same things, we just want to be accepted, wanted and loved. I fail to see how 'bits' make us any less desirable. We are glorious aberrations.

    I'm so tired of apologizing for my gender...

    We are special.

    - MM
    - Madame 'Kitty' Moose

    I yam what I yam and tha's all what I yam." -- Popeye the Sailor

    "If I am not for myself, who will be for me? And when I am for myself, what am 'I'? And if not now, when?"

    - Hillel the Elder

  13. #88
    Aspiring Member joanna4's Avatar
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    I do enjoy being with older men. Not so much into sex due to guilt afterwards but they do reoccur as fantasies. I also prefer the safest methods for both of us.
    I don't dress to impress, I dress to outdress

  14. #89
    Dr. Girlfriend AmandaM's Avatar
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    That's the quandry then. Some of us CDers want to "feel like" women, to immerse ourselves in that world, at least part-time. Some of us would even go so far as to have sex as a woman, as close as we can get anyway. But, we still have guy's physical bodies and we are still "men" as we haven't declared transsexuality. I don't believe if I feel any attraction to men that the CDing "gives me an excuse". And I don't believe I fit the definition of bisexual. Somehow, I cannot decouple the "girl" from the "sex". I think the definition of bisexual is insufficient in the case of CDers. There must be some other dynamic at play that would better describe us. I can't really define it but get by with the thought that my brain is half-female. Seems to make more sense. Of course, what I might really be saying is I am halfway between TV and TS. Half-transsexual brain? Maybe. But, if you tell me I have bisexual tendencies, I feel my "female side" is dismissed.

  15. #90
    Junior Member theresa renee's Avatar
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    i'm a member of a lot of different forums on various topics of interest, and never before have i read through an entire thread. color me impressed. there are so many quotable items, but here's what stuck out to me:


    Quote Originally Posted by Amy Fakley View Post
    Loosen up, yall ... it ain't like we're all that normal of a crowd to start with. Why start drawing arbitrary lines between us?
    i don't know any other CDs in my area, and i'm new to the forum, so reading this made me laugh and loosen a little. thank you


    Quote Originally Posted by sherri View Post
    So many guys are so coarse and insensitive, sometimes I wonder how the species survived.
    Quote Originally Posted by Alice Torn View Post
    Very few men want to meet, me because of my boundries and restrictions.
    these two quotes ring very, very true for me. i will admit to having been curious about the matter, and even joined a dating site as my alter ego to explore these feelings. what i found was a lot of gross behavior that caused me to immediately and permanently remove my account.

    of course, it led me to wonder how much of that was a reflection on my behavior "as a man". granted, i've never offered to send graphic photographs before saying hello, and i do try to be polite when i meet a new woman, but some fellas are pretty unbelievable. when i "turn girl", it's a complete turn-off, and as Sherri stated, it makes me wonder how have we survived this long. maybe that's the difference in the brain of a new CD that enjoys intimate moments with women rather than that of a GG - maybe hard-wiring (if there is such a thing) is the real answer.

    that's not to say that there isn't a man that will be a little more - what's the word - kind, perhaps? as noted by Alice, few men wanted to meet me based on my own restrictions - i won't mess with certain types of women in my every-day "man" life, why should that be any different for meeting a man as my femme alter ego?

    to the OP, i think what matters most is comfort and safety, as stated by so many here. how we define ourselves is going to vary from person to person, so while i personally think your self-identity and question(s) is/are valid, i don't think any of the answers will ultimately persuade or dissuade you from exploring yourself as you see fit. human beings have a tendency to wonder and ask for advice, but end up doing exactly what we want to do, anyway. if you want to go through with having an intimate encounter with a man while you are CDing, and if you think that will make you feel in a positive manner, then that decision is yours. what does any of this make you? only you can answer that. whether you end up defining yourself as gay, straight, bi, or any of the subtle levels in-between, that's your call.

    however, i'm pretty new to all of this, too, so take my opinion with a grain of salt. for what it's worth, at this point, i'd just as soon stick to enjoying women, whether i'm "as a man" or if i "turn girl".

  16. #91
    Member jasminepp's Avatar
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    Hi Amanda, I still personally consider that bi but I totally respect that you dont agree with that description. Maybe it could be described as being a mix of a straight man and a straight woman. Either way good luck on your journey.

  17. #92
    Aspiring Member karynspanties's Avatar
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    Well I am bisexual. And let's just say....I am VERY orally and anally talented. Always leave a happy customer!!

  18. #93
    Member Melanie 0339's Avatar
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    I've been with a close male friend in my late teens we didn't go the whole way just mutual pleasuring. This was in my early dressing years when I just wore womens clothes because I liked the feel of them. Now I'm a lot deeper into my dressing I find my self fantasising about being with a man but I'm not attracted to men at all I think what previous posters have said, that it's about having men be attracted to me as a girl for me that's the knowledge that I'm that convincing as a female men would want me. But if I was to go with a man I think it would have to be another CD'r because I just don't find men sexually appealing. I don't know I'm pretty confused but I'm trying to embrace my inner girl and see where my journey takes me. xxx

  19. #94
    Member Charlotte Haynes's Avatar
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    1. Yes, when I was 26, with a man I used to work with. One night only. I'm now 45.
    2. I felt very guilty the next morning, and for the days and weeks following that.
    3. Didn't get addicted due to that instance. I have craved intimacy with other males all my adult life, but I can keep a lid on it.
    4. It had nothing to do with my dressing. I don't equate my homosexual feelings with my need to wear women's clothes.
    5. It wasn't pleasurable at all. I was drunk, but still aware that I shouldn't have been having unprotected sex with that man.
    It wasn't gentle either, he was yanking and biting and stuff. He capped his performance off by shaking my hand afterwards.

  20. #95
    Dr. Girlfriend AmandaM's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jasminepp View Post
    Hi Amanda, I still personally consider that bi.
    Yes, technically, if I am in bed with another guy, then that is a bi physical act. But, mentally I can only do it if I feel like I am a girl "desiring him". So, it's not so simple. "Normal" bisexuals do not have this problem. They desire men and have sex with them. I suppose if I were to have sex with a lot of men, then the clothes might start coming off and I'd find out I was actually just bi. Maybe.

  21. #96
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jenniferathome View Post
    " Topping a submissive male is no different than topping a girl."

    Well, you are wildly wrong here. It's different. The number of penises alone makes it really different. Justify it or excuse it any way you like but it's different.
    I think MM was referring to the thought process that can occur in Latin cultures and not the physicality of the situation. I know this happens in countries in Central America, but I don't know about Brazil specifically. If you are the aggressive partner, conceptually your manhood remains intact. If you are the submissive partner, you are thought to be gay. It's an odd distinction to me, but that's how it works.

    Quote Originally Posted by AmandaM View Post
    I don't believe if I feel any attraction to men that the CDing "gives me an excuse".
    I don't think it is an excuse. I think dressing may facilitate or enable one to enter into same-sex intimacy. Similarly, I wouldn't dream of going for a bike ride without my lycra jerseys and bibs or go to church in shorts and a T-shirt. Being appropriately dressed is part of the event and works to complete the picture.

    Quote Originally Posted by AmandaM View Post
    And I don't believe I fit the definition of bisexual. Somehow, I cannot decouple the "girl" from the "sex". I think the definition of bisexual is insufficient in the case of CDers.
    If one is truly heterosexual or truly homosexual, the sex of the potential partner is the FIRST consideration. If that is not appropriate, then nothing happens after that. For those of us somewhere in the middle, including me, the sex of the potential partner is not the first consideration. It might slot in as maybe 3rd or 4th behind such things as general attractiveness, perceived sensuality, etc.

    I view it as a condradiction when someone says that they are straight but they are attracted to men while dressed. In that case, I think dressing enables a hiden facet of ones personality to surface. Said another way, dressing legitimizes those feelings that are usually supressed otherwise. I don't think you can tap into same-sex desire if there is none to begin with, regardless of how deeply it is suppressed.

    DeeAnn
    Last edited by flatlander_48; 08-31-2015 at 05:05 AM.

  22. #97
    Member laura.lapinski's Avatar
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    Never done it. Had the fantasy many times. I think I would still have to consider myself some sort of bi since the fantasy is so strong even though I am not attracted to males. I'm sure one could develop a like for it if the sex was enjoyable. I didn't like beer the first few times I tasted it. In fact, drinking a beer fast on one of my first times, my body had the natural response to gag. I had to sip it. Because I liked how a beer made me feel, I eventually liked the way it tasted. Acclimation. Yes, without the curiosity of how it would feel, I never would have tried beer.

    I think I am more of a CD/Admirer now Like many have said, it would highly depend on the type of guy. First of all, he would have to be nice and kind. Second, present as female. I could either be in male or female persona depending on what the other person wanted. After an acclimation, I'm sure my restrictions on roles would go away (this is my guess anyway). I don't need another woman to be present, but I can see how being in accepting company in general could make it easier. I have had other fantasies with multiple people of both sexes involved, and fantasies of only women too. I mean, like comedian/actor Raymond (from Everyone Loves Raymond) said "there is a cast of thousands in [my brain]".

    Let me make sure I've answered the original posters' questions:

    1. Has anyone done it before?
    No. Did some consensual experimenting as a young teen but nobody was dressed)
    2. Did you feel guilty later about it?
    Felt guilty and strange and regretful for the multiple times we experimented. I admit I might feel a little today if I were to do it, but I think it wouldn't be as bad because I am more knowledgeable about things now.
    3. Did you get addicted to being with a guy?
    No, I didn't.
    4. Did you decide to go fulltime after being with a guy?
    Not applicable. My experimentation along with my desire to dress were enough to add to my confusion as to "who I was" even though I was intensely attracted to females ll my life.
    Most Importantly
    5. Was it more pleasurable than straight sex? How did you feel?
    No. But I think if I were to try it as an adult, it would be better than the na´ve/awkward teenage experimentations.

    I think being gender fluid isn't necessarily based on whether you've been with another guy or not. Without any initial curiosity, it will never happen. After it happens, it serves as a measuring stick as to whether you liked it or not, and that will determine if you pursue it again. I think all of your thoughts about it are quite normal and healthy. If you do it, be careful (use protection, and make sure the other person is STD Free...don't just believe what they say, get tested). Obviously, don't do it if you are in a relationship with someone else.

    Laura

  23. #98
    Senior Member Krististeph's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Alice Torn View Post
    ....They gave me leg massages, ....

    I redact my earlier position then... I guess I was with a few men. This was, however, fully clothed (if you can all it that) and during bicycle racing. The team usually had two masseuses (sp?), guy from Jamaica and a guy from Nairobi. Damn if they did not make a huge difference- taught me to work the lactic acid up back toward the heart- strong hands, outstanding team members. They practiced good kung fu.

    The stuff you go to college for- therapeutic massage- these guys taught as they worked. What I learned, I am convinced that this contributed to me getting... ummm.. "intimate" with numerous ladies before I met the Kat.

  24. #99
    Non-binary/Questioning Mayo's Avatar
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    Reading the comments from that minority for whom being dressed is an important consideration in same-sex encounters or fantasies, I wonder if the clothes are a case of situationally blurring the gender boundaries, whether or not they actually identify as female.

    Over on another (more sexually oriented) forum where I'm a regular, there are numerous threads dedicated to "men who like c**k but aren't gay" and to the appeal of TS porn stars. Human sexuality and gender are fascinating things, as are the many ways that we in the West have developed to try and repress and constrain them to 'morally acceptable' paths (and failed). I think that many humans are bisexual to a degree and that people have ways of getting what they want without necessarily having to admit or take responsibility for it - getting drunk, not being the initiator, not kissing a same-sex partner, or having the partner look particularly feminine, are all ways of getting around the societal restrictions and penalties of homosexual activity. Many of us are also not firmly attached to the masculine pole of the gender binary (another contravention of social norms), which would further allow for the possibility of expressing one's female-gendered aspect in a heterosexual manner. In this context, I think that a CD who is interested in a same-sex partner may simply be expressing some combination of gender and orientation fluidity in a situation where it is more acceptable to them to do so. Dressing up may in some way be a license to engage in such behaviour.

    I'm certainly not saying that all CDers are repressed bisexuals, as obviously there are many of us who identify as firmly heterosexual regardless of what we're wearing, just that dressing might facilitate or encourage such interests that might not otherwise be expressed in some individuals for whatever reason. Personally (and as a bisexual myself), I consider our society to be far too inhibited about sex and that reducing sexual inhibition is a positive thing. I encourage people to embrace and explore their sexuality in a safe, sane and consensual manner.

  25. #100
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    Yes I have been with a guy. I guess I am bi

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