Have you been with a guy?

[melissa247]

wellI have never been with a guy before,but that doesn't mean i rule it out.but i haven't met many men i would want sexually either..there was one masculine yet thin gay man.i thought i could be intimate with..I never went there though so it never took place.I do have fantasies,but i am into woman as well as a man..but unless I went and was intimate with a man and it was pleasurable..i don't think i would not want woman either..so it is a tuff thing to discern from..do I think you are gay for wanting to try it..well the lines of gender blur a bit in anycase..if you sleep with a man are you gay...welll...i would say you are at the lest bi or kinky or adventurous sexually.if you find yourself falling for the guy..wanting to spend time around him without a lady present and want him more than a woman because he makes you feel a bit of romance inside..then yes..i would say you are more or less gay.waking up in his arms and spending the day in bed together watching love stories..well then you are his wife at that point or at least a grilfriend..so you decide..me..iI haven't been that adventurous yet.but I guess i wonder at times too.doesn't any lady who wants to feel fem?maybe not on the surface..but deep down perhaps.

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I would like to add though,I met a guy on a site,,well a nice guy on a very sleazy site,he was one of the few on there that I liked to talk to..he never got rude..or was sending me any pics of his privvies or asking me if i needed a daddy..so i talked to him a bit and he seems really nice.he tried to send me a pic today but it didn't go through unfortunately so i have no idea what he looks like yet..he has my pic..so well anyways..the site itself is a fetish site and at first i thought it was like this site where you can meet ladies and talk about your thoughts,clothing and makeup tips..and bam..after i posted a pic all these doms were hitting on me and making me understand why gg ladies despise many men.it was fairly gross honestly.i did speak with at least two decent men there and some ladies who weren't trying to rub one out at my expense..but I like this guy..I think he likes talking to me as well so even though it is a long distance thing and the internet..it is kind of nice having a little romance.even if it is only typed words so far.

[Peach13]

In my late teens when I guess I was trying to figure myself out I slept with my male friend on a couple of occasions. At the time it was hot and I don't regret it at all but I afterwards and after a lot of thinking I realised this wasn't what was missing in my life. I'm my late 20's now and learned what was missing was sexy lingerie, heels and some nice make up ... I'm now married with a child and couldn't be happier! My thoughts are life is too short to stress, try things, embrace who you are, enjoy every moment and certainly dont care what others think!

[Adelaide]

As Adelaide, I've done it with a beautiful long hair girl from this site. I felt so feminine, so me! I've also done it with pre op trans and it was amazing each time.

[Samantha_CD]

1. Has anyone done it before?

Yes, the first few times it was scary, exciting and wonderful all at the same time. Dressing as a girl made it somehow seem alright to do things with guys...that was my pre-teen logic anyway.... because it was OK for a girl to do stuff with a guy. The only time I ever found guys attractive was when i was dressed.

2. Did you feel guilty later about it?

Yes as a teen anyway. Right after I would orgasm I would have this rush of guilt and want it to end immediately. Depending on what we were doing, that could be difficult. Like when he is banging your brains out and he is doing a great job of making it last. A few times, I was under a guy after I orgasmed, I felt really embarrassed and guilty and this guy has his penis inside of me. I would be praying and counting the seconds until he finished. Sometimes I would be holding back tears, waiting for him to finish.

Then....A few days would go by and I would become horny again and it all started over. I finally just got over it after one incredible night with a really incredible guy....it just didn't make sense to feel guilty about having so much pleasure. I just realized it was OK/

After that I really began to enjoy the freedom women have in sex. I could have an orgasm whenever I wanted, because he is the one who has to stay hard to keep it all working. Its actually very relaxing with guys. They are actually really easy to please.


3. Did you get addicted to being with a guy?

I prefer women, except when I am dressed. That being said, it is a lot of fun being with a great guy.....its totally fun. Its relaxing. Its incredible to go all the way with a guy you really connect with.

4. Did you decide to go fulltime after being with a guy?

No I didn't. If I was a teenager now, it might be a different story. My guy friend and I get together about 4 weekends a year. Even though I am not passable, but I dont bring any male clothing on our weekend getaways. Basically I wear women's polo shirts, a women's leather jacket and clearly women's jeans. I sort of push it a bit further each time but no one has ever called me out. In the bedroom its anything goes.....bring on the corset and garters.

5. Was it more pleasurable than straight sex? How did you feel?

Sex with guys is just different. Its just as wonderful. it scratches a different itch. Its sex from the other side. You are the receiver. Its fun.

The fun part of guys is that you know what they like and how to make them happy. You can keep him right on the edge for a few hours. It is something that most women do not understand.

When i first started blowing guys as a pre-teen, I did it because it was necessary. Now I think I enjoy giving as much as he does getting. It makes me feel really girly.

when it comes to actual sex, For me it is much more intense of an orgasm when he is inside of me, than I have ever had with a woman. Its a whole body, holy cow, you cant believe it orgasm. Even after all these years, it is still a mind blowing experience to have a man inside me, and giving my body to him. And when he explodes...its heaven for me.

[Acastina]

dressing up does not change sexuality nor sexual tastes.

I'm not sure that's true. It is a frequent report by "straight" CDs that they do experience sexual attraction to men when fully in the female role by dressing and interacting. I know it's tempting to analyze the phenomenon as acting out a fantasy or tweaking one's autogynephilia (a problematic and controversial hypothesis at best), but the phenomenon is very real for some. I view it as the social training that tries to pound any femininity out of us as boys producing such an inhibited and suppressed sense of self that, without the "permission" we give ourselves by being fully in the role, something inside us just won't allow us, presenting as "men", to find males sexually attractive. Thus, we're quite different from gay men who love being men and love being with men. And quite different from CDs who love their straight sex lives with wives or SOs but just like to dress up.

Case in point: Samantha's candid and clarifying comment this morning, which I hadn't gotten to before posting the foregoing comment. 'Nuff said.

[atlflygirl]

Yes, I have. Many times over, and I can't imagine being with a woman romantically. I find that as a crossdreser, I attract a different kind of man, and often they're very big, macho guys who look at us like sex objects. The guys over 50 tend to be sweeter, and they're a blast to suck off, as they actually see that as a gift. Gay guys always take it for granted and often need to be ****ed in order to shoot. I will say that having smooth body and rubbing up against a hairy guy is the best experience a girl could ever have.

[AmandaM]

The person who said dressing up does not change sexuality or sexual tastes is absolutely correct. But, many men who dress up as women report "feeling like a woman" or "becoming a woman", at least on a temporary basis. I think that sometimes includes sexual desire. I.e., it's more than the clothes.

[Babbs]

not to be crude but this is a rather explicit question....so I googled crossdresser porn and.... you will see crossdressers with other crossdressers and crossdressers with men. With The few crossdressers you see with women, the woman have strap-ons or are dominatrixs. What does that say? There is a very strong relationship between homosexuality and crossdressing, like it or not. And the crossdressing porn market doesn't seem interested in straight sex. Is that because there is no market for it? I don't know.
A separate point, I think many men (not all) crossdress because they like to feel femme, they walk like a women because they like to feel femme, they give themselves a female name because they like to feel femme, they do all sorts of girly things because they like to feel femme...so it's not a stretch for them to have sex like a woman because they like to feel femme...No?

[melissa247]

So how does your wife feel about this?

Your post is the epitomy of fantasy. You know this.

This really annoys me about the cd community. That being being with a man is clearly a fantasy that is apparent in a a fair number of cd's, and yet if a cd comes out to his (sorry her) girlfriend/wife, then they hate it when the next (inevitable) question that they face is "are you gay?".

"No, no, I'm not gay dear wife/girlfriend".

How many here have, upon coming out to their female partner, and being faced with such a question, genuinely answered that question by saying, "well, I'm not gay, but I have fantasised about being with a man just so that I myself can feel closer to what it feels like being a woman".

How many? This is specifically asked of all those in this thread who have thought about it, but never, or ever have any intention on acting upon such a fantasy.

Judging from a lot of you who have responded to this thread - the ones who seek a man's attraction if only to validate their ideal status as being regarded as a woman, well, let's just say this, it's about time that you were actually honest to your partners. And it's about time that you realised why your partners, upon you coming out to them as a crossdresser, would respond with asking if you are gay.

For many, it seems that there actually is a link between dressing and sexuality.

I suppose you have hit a debateable point,to those that spend time with woman,like i do..I do not share that side of my persona with woman anymore,i told one woman about my dressing,we spent time dressed together,and she felt it was kink,she liked to be tied up and well she was into s&m..i obliged as far as i could until she asked for abusesI could not do to her..so in the end we didnt stay together..for one thing she eventually mocked me and called me a fag a few times..and well that kind of killed it for me.as for being with women now and not expressing that side of myself..unless i have been with a man..and have been very open to men..i do not see telling a woman..unless we become very serious..about that part of my self..but if i were to marry and was to be put in her trust...i would be compelled to tell her everything.otherwise it isn't fair to invest in a relationship based upon half truths.even though it does happen..i think it is not fair to the woman...s/o

[flatlander_48]

D H:

Correction. You have been bi forever, but you only realized it in recent times.

DeeAnn

I have been bi about a year or so before Donna came into my life. Know one has seen me as Donna. But the last few years I dream of a male making love to
me and slowly undressing me. He takes his time with each layer of clothes. He would have to know and be ok with me as a CD first. Trust and acceptances is
Very important to me.

[kellyanne]

...so it's not a stretch for them to have sex like a woman because they like to feel femme...No?

This can all be true yet the overwhelming majority of women and men prefer an undressed man so "demand" is inelastic and very low and the available products reflect this. Since the majority of men are hetero and self report more interest in sex than women do , demand for these " products" is quite elastic and high.

[paulaprimo]

I really want to do it but I am wondering if I am going to regret it later. My questions are
1. Has anyone done it before?
2. Did you feel guilty later about it?
3. Did you get addicted to being with a guy?
4. Did you decide to go fulltime after being with a guy?
Most Importantly
5. Was it more pleasurable than straight sex? How did you feel?
Before dressing up, I used to see shapes as masculine and feminine. Like certain shoes are obviously feminine (slim).. you know what I am saying.. Now I dont have those thoughts any more since I started dressing up. I am wondering if being with a guy would make one gender fluid. I am thinking about it but I want to know other's physical, emotional experience before taking this step.

if it's just sex you seek, you may have regrets.
but if you meet a man who interests you and you him, and there is some kind of connection then
it can be wonderful!

for me, i've done it and i've enjoyed it. but it wasn't about just having "sex"
it was about 2 people whom were interested in each other and connected.

and no, i didn't feel quilty at all. it was awesome and i enjoyed it.

it's not an addiction for me, but if i meet the right guy.
decent, nice, mature romantic men are big turn ons for me.

no, i didn't go "full time" after that.

for me it was more pleasurable and i felt wonderful. but thats because i was with the right guy.
it wasn't a sex hook up!! i think that is the big difference. i wouldn't just have sex with a man
because i wanted sex or was curious. you have to like men to begin with, then find the right guy!

[Sky]

I'm not sure that's true...Thus, we're quite different from gay men who love being men and love being with men. And quite different from CDs who love their straight sex lives with wives or SOs but just like to dress up.

Right on the money.

[melissa247]

if it's just sex you seek, you may have regrets.
but if you meet a man who interests you and you him, and there is some kind of connection then
it can be wonderful!

for me, i've done it and i've enjoyed it. but it wasn't about just having "sex"
it was about 2 people whom were interested in each other and connected.

and no, i didn't feel quilty at all. it was awesome and i enjoyed it.

it's not an addiction for me, but if i meet the right guy.
decent, nice, mature romantic men are big turn ons for me.

no, i didn't go "full time" after that.

for me it was more pleasurable and i felt wonderful. but thats because i was with the right guy.
it wasn't a sex hook up!! i think that is the big difference. i wouldn't just have sex with a man
because i wanted sex or was curious. you have to like men to begin with, then find the right guy!

i really like this.you said it so well

[CD_Erica]

I have and I admit that I really enjoyed the ones I have met,personally I don't need to feel like I'm in a relationship to do it either. I generally prefer older men they just seem to be more of what I consider a gentleman, they have always treated me very well and were wonderful lovers. I loved the attention they would give me and to see them so hot for me made it much more incredible of an experience. I've never felt guilty about being with men, when I'm dressed I feel its just natural for me.

[pamela7]

My questions are
1. Has anyone done it before?
2. Did you feel guilty later about it?
3. Did you get addicted to being with a guy?
4. Did you decide to go fulltime after being with a guy?
Most Importantly
5. Was it more pleasurable than straight sex? How did you feel?

1. my first sexual partner was male, from 15-24 years old I had one boyfriend and a series of girlfriends in parallel; I was Bi, in secret and none of the girlfriends knew, we kept it to ourselves.
2. no, i don't associate sex with guilt
3. no, and i never felt attracted to another guy nor since, i saw it as a coming-of-age experience
4. i was unaware of my close CD/TG/TS until another 30 years, so no i did not go full time
5. it's different sex, more physical, not romantic; there was no emotional side, it was like two friends, we kept our romance for girls.

[Adriana Moretti]

so I am on a guy ROLL right now....
last one..hurt his knee so bad that he couldnt walk
the one before that blew out his back
i love older guys, but they cant keep up with this girl !!!! I am now dateless this weekend ! I put 2 on the bench ! LOL !

[Kristy 56]

Still just a fantasy, but I'vecome close. I was going to meet a CD from here last spring. Neither one of us could host, so it never happened. A few weeks agoI was making plans to meet a CD from this sight in late Nov. I started getting cold feet a few weeks ago and let her know. I tried talking with her again, but no response. So maybe it's not meant to be. I'll always be wondering though

[Samantha_CD]

Acastina, I was reading your post and thinking "See! Its not just me !!

[Acastina]

Ok, the five questions:

1. Yes. More than thrice. Some anonymous, more than one repeat partner. Never without presenting and acting in the female role.

2. Not really. For most of my adult life, I felt a strange kind of guilt after sex with a woman. It passed quickly, but a kind of remorse nevertheless.

3. No, if addiction means obsession and promiscuity. Prominent in my mind when I feel horny, ponder sexual things, or need a surefire fantasy to finish with my spouse, yes, but all-consuming, no.

4. No. I was in a full-time experiment (that lasted nearly eight years) before the first time. For me, it was more about social adjustment and learning how to blend into the human mix on the other side of the gender binary, rather than seeking sexual fulfillment. Sometimes I regret ending the experiment and enduring some of the compromises since, but I am happily married to a wonderful woman who has known about my differentness from the very beginning and could not be more understanding and indulgent. I am virtually full-time in private, and she is fine with that.

5. It absolutely is different, and much more pleasurable and natural-feeling to me than being the man with a woman. The need to be potent and stay potent and penetrate at length always felt burdensome to me, and I've always had to work really, really hard at it to finish. Pretty sure that's not how most "normal" men would describe the act. With guys, the orgasms have just come out of nowhere in a delightful surprise because I was so engrossed in the feelings of surrender and being desired. In contrast to the sorta-guilt described under Question 2, I have this incredibly warm and fuzzy feeling of affection and contentment after satisfying a nice man, whatever my orgasmic outcome might have been, and I think that's a pretty womanly emotion to experience; I feel wonderful that he finished, whether I did or not.

All of that said, I love my wife as I've never loved anyone in my life, and we are happy and secure in our partnership of more than a decade. Our sex life is definitely a compromise and probably quite atypical, but those words also describe my entire heterosexual experience. But, as to the pure animalistic response of one side or the other of how we all got here in the first place, I do wish I had a magic wand at times...

[LydiaL]

I have had sexual experiences with another cross dresser, while cross dressed myself. Very enjoyable. However, guilty thoughts did cloud my mind and killed any success at intercourse.

Frankly, I find myself mostly attracted to other cross dressers. However, I admit to fantasizing about being taken by a man while en femme.

Straight sex is mighty fine, but I find it stimulating to think about future sexual experiences with other cross dressers. So guess that I am more lesbian leaning than gay.

[CONSUELO]

It seems that there are many, many flavors of cross dressing. Nothing unexpected about that. As we wish the broader community to be tolerant of us as cross dressers, we should be tolerant of fellow cross dressers who have different desires to our own.

[FirstTimeCD]

Never thought about that but I am sure it could be more erotic to play with other CD. Playing like lesbian girls ...

[SHINY-J]

S

I'm not sure that's true. It is a frequent report by "straight" CDs that they do experience sexual attraction to men when fully in the female role by dressing and interacting. I know it's tempting to analyze the phenomenon as acting out a fantasy or tweaking one's autogynephilia (a problematic and controversial hypothesis at best), but the phenomenon is very real for some. I view it as the social training that tries to pound any femininity out of us as boys producing such an inhibited and suppressed sense of self that, without the "permission" we give ourselves by being fully in the role, something inside us just won't allow us, presenting as "men", to find males sexually attractive. Thus, we're quite different from gay men who love being men and love being with men. And quite different from CDs who love their straight sex lives with wives or SOs but just like to dress up.

Case in point: Samantha's candid and clarifying comment this morning, which I hadn't gotten to before posting the foregoing comment. 'Nuff said.

I would say this is right on the nose for me... I never have romantic thoughts about men... Never any desire to date a man, hold hands with a man, go out to dinner with a man, cuddle with a man, etc... Any attraction I have is exclusively to women.

It's only when I'm dressed that thoughts about men come into my head... As I've stated on here before, it's never about a specific man like an actor, model, celebrity, etc... And I've never in my life encountered any man where I even remotely felt any attraction at all. And I still feel that way to this day.

However, as time went on and I experienced more and more women that rejected me after I told them about my dressing, I began to try to find other ways to experience and share my CDing with others and not just keep it to myself. That turned into me going out late at night dressed in public places to practice a femme walk and feel the rush of the risk of getting caught. With digital cameras, where I didn't have to worry about having someone else develop the film, that translated into taking pics of myself dressed that I could pose in my various outfits and see myself- which quickly translated into joining MBs and websites where I post those pics. Which translated into comments from other members- etc.

I think it's a natural progression of being a straight man who is attracted to women only but also loving to dress and wanting to experience it with others. naturally, the thoughts of being with a CD, TG, TS, etc. come into play as we share the love of dressing. Even though I love women and want to be in relationships with women, marry a woman, and live my entire life with that woman, I've never been able to have the two together... It's always one or the other.

Obviously, i can have both if I find a CD, TG, or TS to be with. My desire to dress with someone had gone on for so long and became so strong that I eventually found that I would enjoy being with someone else who dresses like myself. That, however, doesn't really ever work because I keep my "hobby" a secret and I don't frequent places dressed or not dressed where I would meet someone who dresses.
I try to do it online, but most of us know how online dating goes. Even on the most popular dating sites I've used in dating women, it's a bit of a headache. Now try to use a site where you are trying to find someone to dress with and it becomes much more complicated. Almost all contact I get from trying to find a dressing partner and playmate online is men. Obviously, we all know that, but after awhile, I did become aroused at the comments and emails I would get and I did eventually start fantasizing about letting a man use me. Once again, Never a specific man that I was ever attracted to... Just the act of putting myself in that vulnerable position, and letting a man have his way with me. I'm still not sure how I will feel if it ever happens- maybe it's just the idea that I love, but I do know that my desire to dress in front of someone - ANYONE - is so strong that I'm absolutely open to doing it with someone regardless of gender or sexual identity.... and it doesn't even have to be anything where there is actual sex involved. Just dressing and playing would be great at this point. I'm so eager to do it, that I'd be happy if I could just dress in front of someone and be seen by someone- ANYONE- while dressed! Still, given my dressing style and look, I'm only gonna find someone who is looking for sex! Lol "dress like a tramp and they'll treat you like a tramp."

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I have had sexual experiences with another cross dresser, while cross dressed myself. Very enjoyable. However, guilty thoughts did cloud my mind and killed any success at intercourse.

Frankly, I find myself mostly attracted to other cross dressers. However, I admit to fantasizing about being taken by a man while en femme.

Straight sex is mighty fine, but I find it stimulating to think about future sexual experiences with other cross dressers. So guess that I am more lesbian leaning than gay.

I think this is pretty much where I'm at... I think being with another CD, TG, TS, ETC. would be amazing because it's everything I love about women, but everything I understand about men.

[Tashee]

Won't answer every question asked. My 1st exp same sex was with a gay friend who I was not attracted to in terms of looks. His personality & constant chasing I was fond off even though I (thought) it was secret. He me wore me down and one night as I sometimes would sleep there instead of risking a DUI I let myself be seduced. I was not in Xdress mode. I love him to pieces & gave in willingly. I was surprised to find all my hidden femininity just poured out. I was shocked to find I rather enjoyed it a bit more than I ever would have expected. Even w/out the female attraction I have I found my time with him very intense. I tried this with someone else & did not enjoy it at all. I enjoy dressing enjoy the fantasy but understand that sex for me has to be with someone I have a real connection with. I just can't find that male connection often-Nearly ever is more like it. My times with him were few but fun & not easily replicated. So I let it be a thing of the past & enjoy the memory and keep the future fantasies, fantasies. I had guilt when I thought I could replicate the time with him with another. So I guess I'm Bi to an extent but could careless and realize for (me) its a personal connection that wins me over not just the act. In a fantasy hell the act works, in real life it doesn't. Hope this confession helps, it probably doesn't its probably me just recalling a very interesting time in my life that I'm not ashamed of. Everyone is different and it sounds like your a wee bit confused & that is ok.