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Thread: Are crossdress gay

  1. #1
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    Are crossdress gay

    I'm only new here so proberbly this thread has been around before
    Most people I talk to who are not crossdressers seem to thing we are gay they don't know I am a CD and I won't tell them but they don't understand I think the percentage is about 50 50
    What do you think

  2. #2
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    In my experience, most crossdressers are heterosexual. You will find that most of the people here are either married or engaged in some way to a female.
    But sure theres homosexual and bisexual crossdressers, just like in anything else, but the percentage I'd say its the same found in general population.

    The "crossdressers are gay" statement is deeply ignorant and is a myth. People who say this, well, they have no idea and mix crossdressing desires with sexual orientation, and the two things are as different as apples and oranges.

    And finally, talking about myself, I am heterosexual crossdresser.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member Shelly Preston's Avatar
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    Its the same as the rest of the population.

    They just assume wanting to be a woman (or dressing like one) means being gay
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  4. #4
    Senior Member Janet Bern's Avatar
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    I think that only about 20% are gay... I am hetero

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ezekiel View Post
    In my experience, most crossdressers are heterosexual. You will find that most of the people here are either married or engaged in some way to a female.
    But sure theres homosexual and bisexual crossdressers, just like in anything else, but the percentage I'd say its the same found in general population.

    The "crossdressers are gay" statement is deeply ignorant and is a myth. People who say this, well, they have no idea and mix crossdressing desires with sexual orientation, and the two things are as different as apples and oranges.

    And finally, talking about myself, I am heterosexual crossdresser.
    Thankyou that is a very good reply to my question

  6. #6
    Pantyhose for everyone! Jennifer_Ph's Avatar
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  7. #7
    Junior Member ShriekCassandra's Avatar
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    No it is an old and common misconception where idiots are incapable of understanding the distinctions between one's identity / method of expression and sexual orientation.

  8. #8
    Junior Member Alexis08's Avatar
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    I'm what people call gay. I find it odd that most crossdressers are heterosexual when there are many gay guys who are feminine compared to straight guys.

    I wonder if it's because gay men, unlike straight ones, find masculinity sexy? Is it why there is just a few of them who crossdress?

  9. #9
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    Some are, most are not. I think the last I heard was around 20% are.

  10. #10
    A Wannabe Catgirl Kaze_'s Avatar
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    I'm a lesbian trapped in a man's body. ;p



    Quote Originally Posted by Alexis08 View Post
    I'm what people call gay. I find it odd that most crossdressers are heterosexual when there are many gay guys who are feminine compared to straight guys.

    I wonder if it's because gay men, unlike straight ones, find masculinity sexy? Is it why there is just a few of them who crossdress?
    Your last paragraph is what I was going to post. I think that is a large part of it.
    Just Roll With It

  11. #11
    Reality Check Krisi's Avatar
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    I don't think that not knowing that crossdressers are not necessarily gay makes anyone an "idiot". My wife asked me that when I started dressing around her. I think it happened to most of us here. Most members of the general public have not knowingly met crossdressers and have no knowledge of them other than what they have seen in movies or on TV. And those are not usually realistic portrayals of crossdressers.

    Now let's ask this question - A gay man, by definition, is sexually attracted to other men. Why would a gay man dress as a woman to attract other gay men? The gay men he is seeking to attract are attracted to men, not men trying to look like women.

  12. #12
    Work In Progress LucyNewport's Avatar
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    For me its complicated. If you asked me 10 years ago I would say that I'm 100% hetero. Now, If I'm being completely honest, I'm not. I'm primarily attracted to women. I also find trans-feminine folks attractive. If I wasn't committed though, I could see myself with a dude. I guess that makes me bi or pan-sexual. Whatevs.
    Last edited by LucyNewport; 08-21-2015 at 09:56 AM. Reason: typoes...tiepos...typos!
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  13. #13
    MIDI warrior princess Amy Fakley's Avatar
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    I think there are as many gay Crossdressers as there are gay non-crossdressers, by percentage at least. I think it's just the random combination of two independent traits your born with.

    For instance being left handed and red headed. Some red heads are left handed, some arent. I don't know, but I'm guessing it probably works out to about the same number of lefties with red hair and lefties with any other hair color.

    I can give the uninitiated a pass for jumping to that conclusion though. For one thing, there aren't a lot of stright dudes on 'Drag Race', and when you mention crossdressing, that's probably the most common mainstream portrayal of it.

    For another thing, if you've never really had cause to think about it deeply before, it has a certain sort of simplistic logic. "Women dress pretty to attract men, you do this and you are a man, therefore you must want to attract men."

    Of course when you think about it, that's only one reason some women like to dress attractively. There are many many other reasons, and for us ... for the most part ... those are the reasons.

    You can't expect someone who's never thought about it before to know that already I don't think.
    "Why shouldn't art be pretty? There are enough unpleasant things in the world." -Pierre-Auguste Renoir

  14. #14
    A Wannabe Catgirl Kaze_'s Avatar
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    @Lucy

    I'm similar... I find I can have romantic feelings for certain more feminine guys, but I have a very hard time being sexual with a male. Long story short, I'm just attracted to femininity
    Just Roll With It

  15. #15
    Style Icon Sara Jessica's Avatar
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    So you think the percentage is 50/50? I'm wondering where your perception comes from. Seems that although you have inside knowledge of being a CD'er, you are subscribing to the same exact perceptions as the public at large.

    Just because you may have gay tendencies doesn't skew the percentages in our community one way or the other. Gender identity and/or expression is mutually exclusive of sexual preference.
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  16. #16
    Junior Member ShriekCassandra's Avatar
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    My older stepbrother made a crude joke about me being a 'puff' (British derogatory term for homosexual person) who liked to dress up in women's clothes because I passed a rare comment about liking a female character's jeans in a movie we were watching last Christmas (the irony is he was actually mostly correct in his insinuation despite not being serious about it), the tone he delivered it made it sound as if it was something to be ridiculed and ashamed about, it did make me feel ashamed and violated and that's why I hide. For that I regard him and everyone else with the same common demeaning attitude like his to be idiots and nothing more. I know there are others who make the same mistake at first but at least try to educate themselves to see beyond the cheap one dimensional pop culture stereotypes and exploitative news stories in the media, but they seem to be mostly in the minority.
    Last edited by ShriekCassandra; 08-21-2015 at 09:04 AM.

  17. #17
    Gold Member NicoleScott's Avatar
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    I agree with you, Krisi. There are a lot of people out there who don't know beans about sex and gender variance, and that doesn't make them idiots (or haters). For many people, gender is just a nicer word for sex (look at the forms you fill out, and listen to conversation, and see how the words are interchangeable).
    "Are you gay?" Is just a question. You can answer honestly (Y, N, NOYB), or use the question to educate. Getting huffy and taking offense serves no useful purpose.

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    Thankyou that is a very good reply to my question
    I do my best to build constructive opinions. Glad to help you.

    For that I regard him and everyone else with the same common demeaning attitude like his to be idiots and nothing more.
    And you are in your right to be offended by such morons. Because I agree with you, they are nothing more than idiots.

  19. #19
    Mumbler Samantha Clark's Avatar
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    According to the unscientific poll/survey started by @Smile here, the responses are:

    Heterosexual 425 67.5%
    Homosexual 34 5.4%
    Bisexual 144 22.9%
    Other 27 4.3%

    The US Trans Survey just kicked off, and the results won't be available till next month. Well have to wait and see what that discloses, but it may not separately analyze the sexual identity of crossdressers.

    Me, I'm a happily married hetero crossdresser.
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  20. #20
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    We come in all shapes and sizes. I for one am asexual.
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  21. #21
    Adventuress Kate Simmons's Avatar
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    If by gay you mean happy, then yep, I'm gay.
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  22. #22
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    I would bet that the average person today who thinks cross dressers are gay is 98%. It makes perfect sense. A guy wants to present as a woman, women are traditionally associated with men, ipso facto, cross dressers are gay.

    What funny is that if you asked that same person what gay men like, they will say MEN, not men dressed as woman. So it seems obvious that a cross dresser is not trying to attract men. It's confusing.

    As for the actual percentage of cross dressers who are gay, it should not be more than the population at large, whatever that is, 5-10% maybe?

  23. #23
    Senior Member Ceera's Avatar
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    From my own experience, I'd say there is no correlation between dressing and sexual orientation. Wanting to look feminine or enjoying the feminine clothes isn't necessarily even a sexual thing with a lot of CD's, though it certainly can be a sex fetish too.

    In my experience, I've met quite a few gay (or more likely bi) males who were quite interested in picking up a TG girl, without even asking if the girl had transitioned fully or not. Like anything else, there is a range of possibilities out there, and someone out there probably falls into any category you can imagine. So while probably most truly gay males aren't interested in a TG girl - and I've met many gay guys that were not interested in even dancing with me - it's also possible and proven that some do like us, and find us attractive. Some gay guys like masculine partners, and some like effeminate partners. A TG girl that hasn't had SRS could be considered the extreme end of the scale as an effeminate 'male' partner.

    That also goes for lesbian and Bi GG's. Some aren't interested in us at all, but a surprising number of them seem to like us, or at least like associating with us. Some lesbian genetic girls like 'Butch' or masculine partners, and some like effeminate partners.

    Either way, I would guess that the ones that are seriously interested in us are most likely bi, whatever their own gender is.

    I've also met some presumably 'straight' guys that wanted to be intimate with a TG girl like myself, but who were unwilling to reciprocate with any act that would put them in the position of 'doing something gay'. I turned them down, and they went off after another TG girl in the same club.

    (For what it's worth, I'm Bi, not Gay, and of the dozen or more TG girls I have met so far, I've never asked or been told their orientation, but I see some chatting up girls and some chatting up guys, with no clue how platonic or intimate they get with those people. As others said elsewhere, it's not as if all of us wear a badge declaring our status.)
    Last edited by Ceera; 08-21-2015 at 11:22 AM.

  24. #24
    Bad Influence mechamoose's Avatar
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    Hi there,

    I'm an outlier here, being bisexual. Most are heterosexual.

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  25. #25
    Member Ninna's Avatar
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    I'm 100% heterosexual!!
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