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Thread: Are crossdress gay

  1. #51
    Ms. Lydia LydiaG's Avatar
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    Maybe the majority of us are gay because if we identify as girls when we are dressed and we like girls then that would make us lesbians . And if we identify as male sometimes yet like men then that would also make us gay!

    I'm mostly just kidding. Like others, I was born male and I 100% like cis-females. I identify as genderfluid so when I dress I consider myself a female lesbian. My girlfriend refers to me as a female when im dressed so it just feels right to consider myself a lesbian when dressed. She's bi-sexual so it all works out!
    Lydia

    "Nothing in life is to be feared; it is only to be understood."
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  2. #52
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    I've actually had a bi curious dream but I'm fully heter...lesbi...gay...I dont know what I am but I like girls OK! 😄

  3. #53
    Silver Member Sometimes Steffi's Avatar
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    When I was a teenage crossdresser, I thought I was gay (although we used a pejorative word back then), because I didn't now that there really was a rainbow. I guess I was an idiot, but before the Internet, there was no information available. And I did look in the library card catalog, but couldn't find anything except about Christine Jorgenson. Now I know I am hetero, but I don't think I really had much choice. My dad was very homophobic.


    Quote Originally Posted by Lacy PJs View Post
    I know that people here generally frown on labels but in the numbers posted above, what can "Other" mean? That someone is not sexual at all?

    Lost in a world of confusion...

    Lacy PJs
    I have a GG friend who claims to be "pansexual", where "pan" is the Greek for all. From my understanding, she's attracted to hetero men, gay (Lesbian) women and MTF TG/TS folk. I'm not sure about her feelings toward FTM, but her current "BF" is MTF.
    Last edited by Sometimes Steffi; 08-22-2015 at 10:59 PM.
    Hi, I'm Steffi and I'm a crossdresser... And I accept and celebrate both sides of me. Or, maybe I'm gender fluid.

    Gender fluid (adj.) - Describes a person whose gender identity is not fixed. A person who is gender fluid may always feel like a mix of the two traditional genders, but may feel [more] like one gender some days, and [more like] another gender other days.

    Ref: https://www.lgbthealtheducation.org/wp-content/uploads/LGBT-Glossary_March2016.pdf

  4. #54
    trans punk Badtranny's Avatar
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    Look, it as simple as this. MOST crossdressers are deeply closeted, so the general public has never seen a 'straight' CD.

    The only men who are comfortable being seen in public dressed in women's clothes are in fact, gay. When the rather large and surly contingent of straight CD's decides to come out and be real, then the general public will begin to see things differently. Until then, even I think you're probably gay.
    Quote Originally Posted by STACY B
    At least there is social acceptance in being a drunk in our world. Hell I was good at it too.
    Melissa Hobbes
    www.badtranny.com

  5. #55
    Crossdresser-At-Large BillieAnneJean's Avatar
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    NO! NO! NO!

    Most CDers are NOT gay. I have been around many and most are definitely heterosexual. A few are TS, a few are Bi, and a very few are gay. The overwhelming majority are heterosexual. I facilitate a CDer social and support group and this has been my experience. And the same holds true for those who go OUT in public. The vast majority are heterosexual with a few gay, Bi, and TS.

  6. #56
    Aspiring Member tiffanynjcd24's Avatar
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    to be honei am bisexual so lets just put it as that

  7. #57
    Bad Influence mechamoose's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Badtranny View Post
    The only men who are comfortable being seen in public dressed in women's clothes are in fact, gay.
    That is a fine edge you are walking there, sweetie. I mostly agree with you, and the average Bubba wouldn't wear pink even if it was a powered armor suit.

    Quote Originally Posted by Badtranny View Post
    When the rather large and surly contingent of straight CD's decides to come out and be real, then the general public will begin to see things differently. Until then, even I think you're probably gay.
    Pretty dramatic, but I get the sentiment. This rolls back to a conversation about what 'normal' is. Normal is 'the prevailing view', and can be changed by what folks see every day. The more they see of us, the more normal it is.

    <3

    - MM
    - Madame 'Kitty' Moose

    I yam what I yam and tha's all what I yam." -- Popeye the Sailor

    "If I am not for myself, who will be for me? And when I am for myself, what am 'I'? And if not now, when?"

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  8. #58
    Reality Check Krisi's Avatar
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    ShriekCassandra, You are taking one incident and blowing it way out of proportion. If you continue to paint everyone with such a broad brush, you are going to find yourself alone and unhappy. And trying to "educate" people is not going to help matters because from their point of view, it may well be you who needs educating.

    I hope you can find a way to have peace and happiness in your life. Thinking everyone else is wrong is not going to do it.

  9. #59
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jenniferathome View Post
    I would bet that the average person today who thinks cross dressers are gay is 98%. It makes perfect sense.
    No, it only makes perfect sense to people who have no other information nor have any predisposition to seek any other information.

    DeeAnn

  10. #60
    GG ReineD's Avatar
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    DeeAnn, I think that most people in relationships with CDers will have a predisposition to seek information. The first thing wives ask when they find out is, "Are you gay?"

    But if someone doesn't know a CDer first-hand, there is no reason to seek this information. Or, if they hear a CDer on a talk-show tell the audience he is female-attracted, they are likely to think he is the exception and then put the whole thing out of their minds because it's only a 15-minute segment on a talk show.

    What's the percentage of people whose gender-identity matches their birth-sex, who have no inclination to dress as a gender opposite their birth-sex, and who at the same time are attracted to the opposite sex? About 95%. So it makes sense that they see the norms as what is around them every day, and since the norms for them are that women are attracted to men, they will deduce that men who dress like women are also attracted to men. Right? Even people in this forum have a difficult time understanding or imagining different motives or goals for the CDing than the ones they engage in personally. It's human nature.

    I agree with Jennifer. Most people, until they have first-hand experience with a loved one who is a CDer, will believe that most CDers are gay. And when all the CDers do come out to everyone in their lives, there will still be 90%-95% of the population who will not be exposed personally to any CDers and they still will not know.

    <Edit> And if some of the 90%-95% of the population who do not have first-hand experience with a CD loved one should come across this forum one day and read some of the threads, specifically where members discuss their attraction to men while dressed or fantasies of that nature, their opinion that CDers are gay will be reinforced.
    Last edited by ReineD; 08-24-2015 at 11:29 PM.
    Reine

  11. #61
    Isn't Life Grand? AllieSF's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ReineD View Post
    <Edit> And if some of the 90%-95% of the population who do not have first-hand experience with a CD loved one should come across this forum one day and read some of the threads, specifically where members discuss their attraction to men while dressed or fantasies of that nature, their opinion that CDers are gay will be reinforced.
    I disagree with this statement unless they look and only read those types of threads which are far from the majority here. If they read a decent cross section of the threads here they will see many more where the writer states that they are not interested nor fantasizing about a same sex intimacy. So, if they read general threads they will get the real story. At the current time we happen to have several active new threads on this topic, which is not always a common occurrence. Even within those threads there are many that state that they are straight with no interest in it. It will only be reinforced if they are already closed minded people who are looking for justification of their own ignorant and biased opinions. Common sense people exist and are by far the majority of human beings out there, so I would guess that they will have the necessary intelligence to truly understand most of what is being written here. I do agree that the majority of the general public will automatically think that we are gay until informed otherwise by what they see, hear or read. That happens to me all the time.

    That is like stating that an SO who comes here and only reads an irate post by a wronged SO by a CD will believe that she/he is totally justified in totally rejecting her SO's revelation or unwanted exposure and refusing to try to understand and then stick her head deep into the sand hoping that it will all go away.

  12. #62
    Aspiring Member Lacey New's Avatar
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    Nope, definitely not gay - but I might make a good lesbian.

  13. #63
    Member StephanieH's Avatar
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    I've been married forever, always considered myself a lesbian trapped in a man's body. Lately, wifey has been exploring a bit with her bisexual fantasies and that's been very exciting for both of us. I will say, it's also got me to thinking about it as well. While I've never done anything with a guy and I don't spend much of any time thinking about them, I believe I would consider myself pansexual these days - if the right circumstances ever arose, I don't think I would rule out much of anything - except barnyard animals - yuck!

  14. #64
    always lurking geek's Avatar
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    I would think that the ratio of gay to strait cd's would be roughly equal to that of football players or any other activity.
    Last edited by geek; 08-27-2015 at 07:01 PM.
    Most any thing I post is from my phone, this is why my answers are short and also why I don't post all to often.

  15. #65
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    The issue I face as an aging crossdresser is that other gay men do not seek out older crossdressers for sex. So it really isn't a sexual thing anymore. When I was younger, in my late teens and early twenties, that was different. It was easy to find interested gay, straight, married, bisexual and pansexual men for sex. My GG SO and I have an open "cuckold" relationship now, and she is a self-admitted fag hag, and in many respects this is much better. We have a small circle of girlfriends, and it is nice to be myself in their company. I am free to enjoy sex with men, but this is always done un-made up, en masculine although my preference would be en femme.

    My point is that no one really knows how many crossdressers are gay, straight, bisexual, or just fantasize about homosexuality and feeling like a woman during sex. I would venture a lot of men have fantasized about it from time to time. I do think that all men enjoy sharing their crossdressing with a GG female, whether it is their wife or bff or whatever. GG's rule!!!
    "Man! I feel like a woman"

  16. #66
    Member weyburn's Avatar
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    When I first started out I feel I was straight women only was married to a wonderful lady who supported me and the sex was great and she loved me in garters and nylons
    After she passed I experimented with men and now would consider myself gay
    Have outed myself and play the lady role all the time and as an older cd er I find there are lots of men out there looking for a session and they are mostly married

  17. #67
    Adyson Saikotsu's Avatar
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    Crossdressing is a form of gender expression. Being gay is a form of sexuality. The two are not one and the same. In cases where I am out to educate people, I like to point them to the "genderbread person" a convenient little diagram with lots of sliders on it that covers a wide range of pieces and parts that make up an individuals identity. I'd post a link, but I'm not sure if I'm allowed to?

  18. #68
    GG ReineD's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by AllieSF View Post
    That is like stating that an SO who comes here and only reads an irate post by a wronged SO by a CD will believe that she/he is totally justified in totally rejecting her SO's revelation or unwanted exposure and refusing to try to understand and then stick her head deep into the sand hoping that it will all go away.
    But this happens all the time. Generally, people look for things that reinforce their beliefs, or that speak to their worst fears. You see it all the time in political or climate change debates online. People will look high and low for the ONE article or opinion that supports their view to use as a reference point, ignoring the hundreds of other articles/opinions that disagree with what they want to say.

    Wives who come here and feel initially leery about the CDing will zone right into the sex-with-men/fantasy threads and walk away feeling afraid. Muggles who come across this forum by chance and who read it as a lark will pay more attention to the well-attended sexual fantasy threads than other threads and they will walk away smug with comfort that their opinions of CDers were correct. Or if they read threads by CDers who relate tales of non-accepting wives, these muggles will quietly tell themselves, "No wonder this is happening, if most of you fantasize about having sex with men".

    Few people are trained in objectivity, I'm afraid.
    Reine

  19. #69
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    In the interests of the statistics i am heterosexual. I have seen men and thought they were attractive but not been attracted to them...if you know what i mean.

  20. #70
    Lisa_vin lisa_vin's Avatar
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    Since I don't even like or trust most men (long story), the words "gay" or "bi" aren't even in my vocabulary. I crossdress for my own psychological and therapeutic needs so neither sex or nor attraction is not part of the equation. I've been doing this since about 3 or 4 years old.
    Lisa

  21. #71
    Silver Member Meghan4now's Avatar
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    @Badtranny

    Ha ha. They did Saturday night! Of course it was at a predominantly gay bar. Although 60 percent of the patrons were girls out on bridal shower bar hops. Glad you have ME "pegged", Of course don't tell my wife. I'd never get her back in the sack.
    Last edited by Meghan4now; 08-27-2015 at 02:52 PM.
    Put on a Happy Face.

  22. #72
    Junior Member laurenp245's Avatar
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    No more so than the rest of the population! For some people the perception of a man dressing as a woman automatically invokes thoughts of him being a homosexual simply because he enjoys the feminine side of life. This, as we here all know, is absolutely absurd. How a person dresses or presents themselves has nothing to do with sexual orientation, these are two entirely different topics. Just because I choose to make myself up, put on an awesome dress and some killer heels doesn't mean I suddenly desire to be with men. Are there CD's whom are gay? Yes, but it's the same small percent of the population of non CD'ers in this world.

    <3 Lauren

  23. #73
    Junior Member colleen_cd's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Heelios View Post
    In the interests of the statistics i am heterosexual. I have seen men and thought they were attractive but not been attracted to them...if you know what i mean.
    That's pretty much how I identify as well. There are quite a few transwomen I find very attractive too, so I guess I wouldn't say I'm 100% straight either - but who is, really?

  24. #74
    Bad Influence mechamoose's Avatar
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    Gay...

    I don't care much for how you present.

    I don't care much for how you identify.

    You like what you like.
    - Madame 'Kitty' Moose

    I yam what I yam and tha's all what I yam." -- Popeye the Sailor

    "If I am not for myself, who will be for me? And when I am for myself, what am 'I'? And if not now, when?"

    - Hillel the Elder

  25. #75
    Junior Member fiona frisson's Avatar
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    does being particularly attracted to other convincing dressers - constitute gay;
    - or a gay or bi element in that you know it isnt a gg - even if you also like ggs

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