Are crossdress gay

[Sandra119]

I'm only new here so proberbly this thread has been around before
Most people I talk to who are not crossdressers seem to thing we are gay they don't know I am a CD and I won't tell them but they don't understand I think the percentage is about 50 50
What do you think

[Ezekiel]

In my experience, most crossdressers are heterosexual. You will find that most of the people here are either married or engaged in some way to a female.
But sure theres homosexual and bisexual crossdressers, just like in anything else, but the percentage I'd say its the same found in general population.

The "crossdressers are gay" statement is deeply ignorant and is a myth. People who say this, well, they have no idea and mix crossdressing desires with sexual orientation, and the two things are as different as apples and oranges.

And finally, talking about myself, I am heterosexual crossdresser.

[Shelly Preston]

Its the same as the rest of the population.

They just assume wanting to be a woman (or dressing like one) means being gay

[Janet Bern]

I think that only about 20% are gay... I am hetero

[ShriekCassandra]

No it is an old and common misconception where idiots are incapable of understanding the distinctions between one's identity / method of expression and sexual orientation.

[Alexis08]

I'm what people call gay. I find it odd that most crossdressers are heterosexual when there are many gay guys who are feminine compared to straight guys.

I wonder if it's because gay men, unlike straight ones, find masculinity sexy? Is it why there is just a few of them who crossdress?

[Jorja]

Some are, most are not. I think the last I heard was around 20% are.

[Kaze_]

I'm a lesbian trapped in a man's body. ;p

I'm what people call gay. I find it odd that most crossdressers are heterosexual when there are many gay guys who are feminine compared to straight guys.

I wonder if it's because gay men, unlike straight ones, find masculinity sexy? Is it why there is just a few of them who crossdress?

Your last paragraph is what I was going to post. I think that is a large part of it.

[Krisi]

I don't think that not knowing that crossdressers are not necessarily gay makes anyone an "idiot". My wife asked me that when I started dressing around her. I think it happened to most of us here. Most members of the general public have not knowingly met crossdressers and have no knowledge of them other than what they have seen in movies or on TV. And those are not usually realistic portrayals of crossdressers.

Now let's ask this question - A gay man, by definition, is sexually attracted to other men. Why would a gay man dress as a woman to attract other gay men? The gay men he is seeking to attract are attracted to men, not men trying to look like women.

[Amy Fakley]

I think there are as many gay Crossdressers as there are gay non-crossdressers, by percentage at least. I think it's just the random combination of two independent traits your born with.

For instance being left handed and red headed. Some red heads are left handed, some arent. I don't know, but I'm guessing it probably works out to about the same number of lefties with red hair and lefties with any other hair color.

I can give the uninitiated a pass for jumping to that conclusion though. For one thing, there aren't a lot of stright dudes on 'Drag Race', and when you mention crossdressing, that's probably the most common mainstream portrayal of it.

For another thing, if you've never really had cause to think about it deeply before, it has a certain sort of simplistic logic. "Women dress pretty to attract men, you do this and you are a man, therefore you must want to attract men."

Of course when you think about it, that's only one reason some women like to dress attractively. There are many many other reasons, and for us ... for the most part ... those are the reasons.

You can't expect someone who's never thought about it before to know that already I don't think.

[ShriekCassandra]

My older stepbrother made a crude joke about me being a 'puff' (British derogatory term for homosexual person) who liked to dress up in women's clothes because I passed a rare comment about liking a female character's jeans in a movie we were watching last Christmas (the irony is he was actually mostly correct in his insinuation despite not being serious about it), the tone he delivered it made it sound as if it was something to be ridiculed and ashamed about, it did make me feel ashamed and violated and that's why I hide. For that I regard him and everyone else with the same common demeaning attitude like his to be idiots and nothing more. I know there are others who make the same mistake at first but at least try to educate themselves to see beyond the cheap one dimensional pop culture stereotypes and exploitative news stories in the media, but they seem to be mostly in the minority.

[Ezekiel]

Thankyou that is a very good reply to my question

I do my best to build constructive opinions. Glad to help you.

For that I regard him and everyone else with the same common demeaning attitude like his to be idiots and nothing more.

And you are in your right to be offended by such morons. Because I agree with you, they are nothing more than idiots.

[Alice_2014_B]

Just happy here!

[Sandra119]

In my experience, most crossdressers are heterosexual. You will find that most of the people here are either married or engaged in some way to a female.
But sure theres homosexual and bisexual crossdressers, just like in anything else, but the percentage I'd say its the same found in general population.

The "crossdressers are gay" statement is deeply ignorant and is a myth. People who say this, well, they have no idea and mix crossdressing desires with sexual orientation, and the two things are as different as apples and oranges.

And finally, talking about myself, I am heterosexual crossdresser.

Thankyou that is a very good reply to my question

[Jennifer_Ph]

I'm happy, yes.

[LucyNewport]

For me its complicated. If you asked me 10 years ago I would say that I'm 100% hetero. Now, If I'm being completely honest, I'm not. I'm primarily attracted to women. I also find trans-feminine folks attractive. If I wasn't committed though, I could see myself with a dude. I guess that makes me bi or pan-sexual. Whatevs.

[Kaze_]

@Lucy

I'm similar... I find I can have romantic feelings for certain more feminine guys, but I have a very hard time being sexual with a male. Long story short, I'm just attracted to femininity

[Sara Jessica]

So you think the percentage is 50/50? I'm wondering where your perception comes from. Seems that although you have inside knowledge of being a CD'er, you are subscribing to the same exact perceptions as the public at large.

Just because you may have gay tendencies doesn't skew the percentages in our community one way or the other. Gender identity and/or expression is mutually exclusive of sexual preference.

[Yoshisaur]

I would identify myself as bisexual but not gay, and even so I don't think there's a connection crossdressing and sexual orientation.

[Rhian]

I'm definitely hetrosexual, part of my crossdressing stems from having lesbian fantasies.

[Maxi]

My crossdressing started when I was going through my divorce. I found comfort in sleeping in a slip, as I was used to curling up next to a woman in one for 18 years. It has gradually led to full blown dressing. I am bisexual but don't find crossdressing a part of that. I am in a heterosexual relationship with my wife, but do find chubby men attractive.
Many people can identify differently at different points in their life, just depends on where you are in life. This would be a tough question to answer,

[Confucius]

Personally, I'm 100% hetero.

Interesting subject. I did a bit of research and found the following articles:
Depending upon the surveys conducted about 20-30% of crossdressers report at least one homosexual experience.
http://www.jaimieveale.com/publications/Masters.pdf
"Benjamin (1966) believed that TS and transvestites could be differentiated in
terms of their sexual orientation, with transvestites being attracted to females, and TS
attracted to males. Some early studies have found transvestites to be an entirely
gynephilic group (Buckner, 1970; Buhrich & McConaghy, 1977a; Docter, 1988).
However, more recent studies using larger samples have shown predominance of
heterosexuality among transvestites to only be 69-89%, with 28-29% of transvestites
reporting previous homosexual experience (Docter & Fleming, 2001; Docter & Prince,
1997; Prince & Bentler, 1972). This is at a similar level to other males in the population
(Kinsey, Pomeroy, & Martin, 1948). "

That still means the straight crossdressers outnumber the gay and bi crossdressers by 2:1

[Sharon B.]

My ex-wife had asked the same question when I told her that I enjoy dressing as a woman.

[NicoleScott]

I agree with you, Krisi. There are a lot of people out there who don't know beans about sex and gender variance, and that doesn't make them idiots (or haters). For many people, gender is just a nicer word for sex (look at the forms you fill out, and listen to conversation, and see how the words are interchangeable).
"Are you gay?" Is just a question. You can answer honestly (Y, N, NOYB), or use the question to educate. Getting huffy and taking offense serves no useful purpose.

[ShriekCassandra]

I agree with you, Krisi. There are a lot of people out there who don't know beans about sex and gender variance, and that doesn't make them idiots (or haters). For many people, gender is just a nicer word for sex (look at the forms you fill out, and listen to conversation, and see how the words are interchangeable).
"Are you gay?" Is just a question. You can answer honestly (Y, N, NOYB), or use the question to educate. Getting huffy and taking offense serves no useful purpose.

I wasn't asked innocently or politely if I was gay. I was accused in an overly mocking and negative manner that I wasn't expecting from an unusual but fairly inconsequential observation I made from the TV and it triggered me,. I can't help how my messed up mind reacts or interprets things I take personally. maybe if I wasn't a closet case with such debilitating gender identity issues it wouldn't have bothered me, but I am and truth hurts, especially when that is the kind of impression I'm given of people like me from someone I know personally. I didn't get huffy after he said it, I didn't vocally react at all, just sat quietly continuing to watch the film while trying to bury the invasive thoughts of betrayal and self loathing that sprang from his comment. Doesn't mean I can't use that to form an opinion of exactly what I think of people who hold that kind of attitude in my head privately. I've tried to educate same level minded people in online debates before about other topics such as invisible illnesses like depression or agoraphobia and they don't want to know. They think it's just used as an excuse to be lazy and not work or interact with people, regardless of the fact it's rare that I can leave my own house by myself without having an anxiety or panic attack of some level if too many people are around. Why would these willfully ignorant types react any better to an equally misunderstood and unpopular / stigmatised subject like transgenderism? You can't force an ostriches head out of the sand.