Are crossdress gay

[CONSUELO]

Some percentage of cross dressers are gay or bi-sexual but there is much argument over the number. Many people come up with a percentage with no data to back it up as in "In my experience only 10% of cross dressers are gay". Think about it. Even if a person has met a couple of hundred cross dressers and knows their sexual orientation (unlikely as sexual orientation is not a badge to be worn on the chest), it would be no basis for an estimate of what percentage of all cross dressers are gay or bisexual or heterosexual. As individuals we just do not collect data in a proper and coherent way to come up with the answer.
The current US Trans survey should give some solid data.

[ShriekCassandra]

I agree with you, Krisi. There are a lot of people out there who don't know beans about sex and gender variance, and that doesn't make them idiots (or haters). For many people, gender is just a nicer word for sex (look at the forms you fill out, and listen to conversation, and see how the words are interchangeable).
"Are you gay?" Is just a question. You can answer honestly (Y, N, NOYB), or use the question to educate. Getting huffy and taking offense serves no useful purpose.

I wasn't asked innocently or politely if I was gay. I was accused in an overly mocking and negative manner that I wasn't expecting from an unusual but fairly inconsequential observation I made from the TV and it triggered me,. I can't help how my messed up mind reacts or interprets things I take personally. maybe if I wasn't a closet case with such debilitating gender identity issues it wouldn't have bothered me, but I am and truth hurts, especially when that is the kind of impression I'm given of people like me from someone I know personally. I didn't get huffy after he said it, I didn't vocally react at all, just sat quietly continuing to watch the film while trying to bury the invasive thoughts of betrayal and self loathing that sprang from his comment. Doesn't mean I can't use that to form an opinion of exactly what I think of people who hold that kind of attitude in my head privately. I've tried to educate same level minded people in online debates before about other topics such as invisible illnesses like depression or agoraphobia and they don't want to know. They think it's just used as an excuse to be lazy and not work or interact with people, regardless of the fact it's rare that I can leave my own house by myself without having an anxiety or panic attack of some level if too many people are around. Why would these willfully ignorant types react any better to an equally misunderstood and unpopular / stigmatised subject like transgenderism? You can't force an ostriches head out of the sand.

[Chancey289]

If I had to call it something, it would be heteroflexible. I'm attracted to femininity. I love cute girls, so if they look like a cute girl, I'm game.

[Tina_gm]

It is a pretty solid consensus from those in the community and those who are professionals who deal with and help those in the community that most CDers are not gay. Although I personally would say that the % of CDers who are at least Bi-curious would be a bit higher than that of the general population. The one way it may not be perhaps is because CDers already opening up to themselves and others in such a non conforming way about their gender, may be a bit less hesitant to state their fantasies or thoughts. Although, it also seems that part of that with many on here who have stated it, is in part to how they feel when dressed and experiences at least physically that a woman would go through sexually. It seems quite common from those who have fantasies or desires or have had experience with men typically do so when dressed.

Still, while the % may be a bit higher just because yes, on some level I do think that gender and sexuality can intertwine... A solid majority of CDers are in fact strictly hetero.

[Elli87]

went through an experimental stage, though these days i'm Hetero didn't like it the other way

[kimdl93]

What I think isn't particularly relevant to the question, because I don't know enough crossdressers to make a valid assessment. However, people who actually do have the facts suggest that a significant majority of cross dressers are heterosexual.

[Adriana Moretti]

wait.....all crossdressers are not gay?? ...kidding !!!! very few actually are....very few, there are alot of bi ones, ( myself included) ..although I lean more towards gay I think, but I wouldnt kick the right woman out of bed, unless it was morning...but mostly on this forum its straight crossdressers...I see why vanilla people would think we are all gay though.

[sometimes_miss]

Let's see, so far we have:

So you think the percentage is 50/50?

there are as many gay Crossdressers as there are gay non-crossdressers, .

Some are, most are not. I think the last I heard was around 20% are.

Its the same as the rest of the population.

I think that only about 20% are gay

As for the actual percentage of cross dressers who are gay, it should not be more than the population at large, whatever that is, 5-10% maybe?

And the funniest,

According to the unscientific poll/survey started by @Smile here, the responses are:
Heterosexual 425 67.5%, Homosexual 34 5.4%
Bisexual 44 22.9%, Other 27 4.3%

Though I kind of wonder what the 'Other' in that last one could be.

In truth, no one really knows, mostly because no one really knows what percentage of the population [of males] crossdresses. Far too many are in the closet and won't admit it to anyone (I was one of these for the vast majority of my life, I know from where I speak). There are probably a good percentage who are bisexual or homosexual but can't even admit it to themselves because they were brought up in such a way that to be so was absolutely unacceptable in any circumstances. Many will also bury their true selves so deep in their psyche that they need to refer to any female behavior as a seperate female personality and refer to that behavior as if it's a different person entirely, to the extent that they need to refer to 'it' in the third person in discussion because to refer to themselves that way would upset the seperation that they need in order to be functional, as admitting that they have female feelings would create too much conflict within their minds and could cause a mental breakdown. Many more simply don't come to online polls or seek professional help because of their embarassment, so the real numbers will always be a best guess situation, again, where anyone's guess is as good as anyone else's.
So, take your pick. And know that whatever it is, you fit in with us somewhere, and we will accept you, as is, as a male, a female, straight, bi, or gay, or any combination of those. One friend referred to the world in this way: 'We're just a bag of mixed nuts. We're all a little bit crazy, just in different ways'.

[ReineD]

Though I kind of wonder what the 'Other' in that last one could be.

Likely asexual and autosexual.

As to the 23% bisexual, it would be interesting to know what percentage of respondents base their bi identity on fantasies of having sex with men vs. actually having had and maintained relationships (physical and emotional) with both men and women (not necessarily at the same time lol). Even if a person had sex with males a few times and didn't like it enough to repeat the experience and even if they continue to have sexual fantasies of being a woman with men, it does not make them bisexual.

[reb.femme]

Who knows and who really cares to be honest?
I'm straight so you can add that to your stats.

Rebecca

[DanaR]

I always answer the question "are you gay" with, do I dress like this to attract men; which my answer is no, because I'm into women. That must mean that dressed like this I'm a lesbian; which would make me gay.

[Teresa]

Sandra,
Most of these opinions are based on media representation , whenever a CDer is shown in dramas they act very camp and usually have male followers in tow ! The other misconception is all gay men are effeminate .
Yes it is usually the first question most wives or partners make , or it's the first denial we make when we come out !

I'm totally heterosexual in drab or dressed, the sad thing is when this question is raised we give the impression that being gay is something wrong ! The laws were changed years ago but sometimes being a CDer/TG/TS or gay appears to be a serious crime in some peoples eyes !

[Confucius]

Personally, I'm 100% hetero.

Interesting subject. I did a bit of research and found the following articles:
Depending upon the surveys conducted about 20-30% of crossdressers report at least one homosexual experience.
http://www.jaimieveale.com/publications/Masters.pdf
"Benjamin (1966) believed that TS and transvestites could be differentiated in
terms of their sexual orientation, with transvestites being attracted to females, and TS
attracted to males. Some early studies have found transvestites to be an entirely
gynephilic group (Buckner, 1970; Buhrich & McConaghy, 1977a; Docter, 1988).
However, more recent studies using larger samples have shown predominance of
heterosexuality among transvestites to only be 69-89%, with 28-29% of transvestites
reporting previous homosexual experience (Docter & Fleming, 2001; Docter & Prince,
1997; Prince & Bentler, 1972). This is at a similar level to other males in the population
(Kinsey, Pomeroy, & Martin, 1948). "

That still means the straight crossdressers outnumber the gay and bi crossdressers by 2:1

[Sharon B.]

My ex-wife had asked the same question when I told her that I enjoy dressing as a woman.

[Yoshisaur]

I would identify myself as bisexual but not gay, and even so I don't think there's a connection crossdressing and sexual orientation.

[Alice_2014_B]

Just happy here!

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Sandra, I can't speak for any one else , But I'm a strait hetro. Crossdresser..

[Rhian]

I'm definitely hetrosexual, part of my crossdressing stems from having lesbian fantasies.

[Maxi]

My crossdressing started when I was going through my divorce. I found comfort in sleeping in a slip, as I was used to curling up next to a woman in one for 18 years. It has gradually led to full blown dressing. I am bisexual but don't find crossdressing a part of that. I am in a heterosexual relationship with my wife, but do find chubby men attractive.
Many people can identify differently at different points in their life, just depends on where you are in life. This would be a tough question to answer,

[SexyMarianne]

I am straight myself but I prefer everything feminine. Being feminine is such a wonderful feeling inside

[notready4public]

I don't know about statistics in regards to sexuality among crossdressers but I know about me. I am not gay, I do not have fantasies about other men. I did experiment in early adulthood and discovered I did not like any kind of sexual experiences that involved another man. Even just having him watch was something I was uncomfortable with. So while I do like dressing I am pretty certain I am hetero. That said, I do not disparage or judge anyone who might be. What they do behind closed doors, or even within reason in public, is none of my business. Two men kissing on a public street does not make me sick. (As long as it is tasteful.) I have a problem with anyone sucking each others faces off in public. There is a time and place for all behaviors and making a spectacle of yourself is inappropriate for anyone.
I used to struggle with this. Growing up in the 70's and 80's with a father like mine it would have been difficult for any man with CD tendencies not to struggle with the notion that wearing women's clothing means he is gay. There wasn't any kind of access for me to support groups or anything like that. So instead of stopping the behavior I got better at hiding it. When I came out to my SO it was scary for me. I thought she would think I was gay and wanted to be with men. So after I showed her myself in a pair of pantyhose I could tell she wasn't sure what to think. I decided to sit her down immediately and explain to her that, for me, crossdressing is a fetish. It is not about wanting to walk around in public and be treated like a woman by strangers, or to have her treat me like we were in a lesbian relationship, or anything like that. I like the way I feel in those clothes. I am 5' 10" 230lbs, with a shaved head and a goatee. I don't try to present as female, but wearing a dress, hose, lingerie, and conservative heels makes me feel sexier than any men's clothing I have ever worn. That is something I want to share with her and only her. She took it amazingly and though it has taken many years to get fully okay with it she seems to be there now. In fact, last weekend we went thrift store shopping for a dress for me together. I am still really uncomfortable telling sales people we are there for me so we avoid that as much as possible. But we wear about the same size so it's not difficult for us to buy things without questions or even questioning looks.
In truth, even though they don't know, or maybe more BECAUSE they don't know, it is up to people like us to raise awareness among people that not all crossdressers are homosexuals. There are many straight men who just like to wear the clothes. And, since most of us who are closeted with it don't let it interfere with other aspects of our lives it is not any kind of disorder. For those who do it for my reason it is a sexual fetish. A sexual fetish is a form of sexual desire in which gratification is linked to an abnormal degree to a particular object, item of clothing, part of the body, etc. The word abnormal in this use merely refers to something outside of the social norm as accepted by the majority of people in a particular culture.
A fetish, not of a sexual nature, is a course of action to which one has an excessive and irrational commitment. I think many of the rest of the girls here can identify with this definition. Notice it does not say anything about an unhealthy or obsessive condition. Simply excessive and irrational, meaning more than other people and unable to explain it. Some men will crossdress as a prank, or to raise awareness for a cause, or for a Halloween costume. The do not necessarily crossdress regularly. It could be a one time thing for them or it could be a rare occasion for someone who does it regularly to go public without having to 'come out' about it. The beauty of it is that even those of us who do it often cannot be 100% sure of which it is for those people. And most of us don't have the desire to judge them either way.
So when someone says something to you about crossdressers being gay it is okay to point out to them that many crossdressers are in fact not gay but may simply have a completely harmless fetish for dressing in women's clothing!
Billy

[Alice Torn]

Some of us are lifetime singles, too, and i know most think i am gay

[Lacy PJs]

Heterosexual 425 67.5%
Homosexual 34 5.4%
Bisexual 144 22.9%
Other 27 4.3%

I know that people here generally frown on labels but in the numbers posted above, what can "Other" mean? That someone is not sexual at all?

Lost in a world of confusion...

Lacy PJs

[Lacyfem]

At one time I though I was hetero too. However, as my dressing went along and I would feel more like a girl I found men to be attracted to me. I was pleased that they liked me as a girl. So one time, after chatting with a man online, I dressed and invited him over for us to chat and see what would happen and how I felt with him. I felt great to his delight and mine and we had a great time chatting, then kissing and playing and I knew I was hooked and not longer straight male. Yes, he ended up taking me to be which was the ultimate in my crossing the line which shocked me but so enjoyed it.

[Katie01]

When I was much younger I thought I might be gay simply because I found wearing panties and lingerie arousing. Plus my teenage hormones we're going nuts! I even tried to have relations with a coworker who was gay and realized I was just not attracted sexually. I wasn't repulsed so much as simply not aroused. More or less like kissing a sibling. Haha. I thought I was a freak of nature! Loved being a guy. Loved being a girl but still attracted to girls. I even thought I might be lesbian! Much later I read that MOST CD's were hetero and everything clicked into place. Therapy helped as did finding a woman whom I trusted and who loved and accepted all of me.