Well, honestly, I could not be attracted to any CD, no matter how close they looked to a female, because knowing they are men is already a turn off for me.Originally Posted by fiona frisson
A man is a man, no matter how he is dressed.
Well, honestly, I could not be attracted to any CD, no matter how close they looked to a female, because knowing they are men is already a turn off for me.
A man is a man, no matter how he is dressed.
I *adore* GGs, I just like what I like.
So pretty! I don't care if they carry a few pounds. They just ooze desirability, just wanna be like them.
I'm a big bull in an ill-fitting dress. I so want to be soft and curvy. I just know it isn't gonna happen, so I don't even try. I do my own thing and damn the consequences.
As far as 'gay', why are you worrying about it? If someone likes you, they *LIKE* you. Just roll with it. Nobody gets to pick their chromasomes.
GD, why are we so hung up on this stuff? It shouldn't matter!
- MM
- Madame Moose - on my way to Anne
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"I yam what I yam and tha's all what I yam." -- Popeye the Sailor
"If I am not for myself, who will be for me? And when I am for myself, what am 'I'? And if not now, when?" - Hillel the Elder
It's a good idea to read through some of the back threads, there are questions that you haven't even thought of yet, that have been asked and answered.
Check out all of the different forums as well, they can help you quite a bit.
Most people just assume that an feminine man is being effeminate to attract men. Historically, the press has given a lot more coverage to very openly out "screaming queens", who are more openly effeminate and seem to fit a stereotype. Often such men are "bait" and get approached by more "butch" men who are gay and looking to meet other men, and looking for someone who might be connected.Most people I talk to who are not crossdressers seem to think we are gay they don't know
Not all gays are effeminate.
Not all feminine men are attracted to women.
Not all cross-dressers are transgender,
Not all transgenders want to transition,
Not all transgenders are attracted to men.
Being a CD only means that you like wearing the clothes of the opposite sex.I am a CD and I won't tell them but they don't understand
What is more important is WHY you like wearing clothes of the opposite sex.
If it's just because you like the feel of a particular fabric in a particular garment, you may be a fetish dresser.
If it's because you like feeling feminine - you are transgender.
Keep in mind that there are two scales, one for gender identity, created by Harry Benjamin, and one for sexual preference, created by Alfred Kinsey.
For gender identity the scale is 0 to 6 - I'm using male to female terms here.
0 - completely cisgender, no desire to be feminine or female ever - usually an alpha male.
1 - Fetish dresser - usually wears a few items, primarily for sexual gratification - part of the fantasy is being female.
2 - Closet dresser - dresses for short periods of time, fantasizes about being a girl for a short time.
3 - Extended dresser - dresses fully as female, may even go out in public for short periods - still prefers to be male.
4 - Trans-identity - either prefers being feminine/female and/or dislikes being male - may or may not include dressing.
5 - Lives part time as opposite gender, has desire to transition, but not necessarily ready to take necessary steps
6 - Difficulty passing as birth gender, perceived by others as feminine or gay, strong desire to transition - may have attempted or sought castration or self destruction.
On the sexual preference scale of 1 to 6 (again using male terms here)
1 - Heterosexual, only attracted to gender conforming women
2 - Heterosexual flexible, attracted to gender variant opposite sex (tomboys, dominant women...)
3 - Bisexual attraction - attracted to men and women with preference for women.
4 - Bisexual activities - activities with both men and women, attracted to specific type of both sexes.
5 - Homosexual - practices - attracted primarily to men, but effeminate types preferred.
6 - Homosexual - attracted to gender conforming men.
Now, if you break that into a 6x7 matrix, you get a complex dance card.
A drag queen is often a man who is a 3-4 on the gender scale and a 5-6 in the preference scale. Of course, being the most unusual and rare, they get the most news coverage.
Statistically, the extremes are actually quite rare. For example, someone who is exclusively attracted ONLY to gender conforming women is almost as rare as men who are only attracted to other gender conforming men. Statistics vary depending on the survey, test methods, and scoring, but it's usually something like thisI think the percentage is about 50 50
1 - 5%
2 - 25%
3 - 35%
4 - 20%
5 - 10%
6 - 5%
So there is a skewing toward the heterosexual side, but the greatest portion is actually bisexual, able to be attracted to tomboys, curvy women, women who wear pants and no make-up, women with deep voices, but could also be attracted to men with softer voices, gentle manner, soft features, who like to dress up in suits or well fitted clothes.
Often people who claim to have "converted" someone from being "gay" have just had a subject who was a 3 or 4 on the scale and was active with men.
There is a similar breakdown on the gender spectrum, but a bit more skewed to the gender conforming side.
1 - 10%
2 - 35%
3 - 25%
4 - 16%
5 - 6%
6 - 3%
The balance is also a function of ages. Among older groups, the number of 6's drops substantially, because they have committed suicide. If you were to interview kids in kindergarten you'd see much more. By the teens, there is more repression of transgender behaviors, because gym coaches and other alpha males tend to persecute "sissies".
If you fill in that grid across the 6x7 matrix, you would realize that there is a lot of purple and lavender and not as much pink and dark blue.What do you think
Facebook - Debbie Lawrence
Web - [URL="http://www.debbieballard.org"]DebbieBallard.org{/URL]
See also:
Open4Success
Most people are ignorant when it comes to cross dressers. I suspect most people think we are gay. Most scientific surveys seem to agree the vast majority of cross dressers are no gay. I know I am not gay, but, why do I like wearing women's clothing on occasion? I don't have a clue.
wearing a bra and or panties does not make a man gay
Just antidotal but I find very few gay cd's. I do think bisexuality is common among cd's, however.
That's kind of what I think too. I believe more forum members lean to bi, then they are willing to admit.
Debbie Wow what a connvincing analysis ...i fit comfortably into the purple lavender
Debbie if you're going to write about past research, please don't change the words to suit your message!
For those of you who are interested,
THIS is the Benjamin gender scale (the actual table from his 1960s research article):
http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_jJepePwUw6...0/benjamin.gif
And THIS is the Kinsey sexual orientation scale (from the Kinsey website):
http://www.kinseyinstitute.org/research/ak-hhscale.html
As to your first percentage breakdown, where did you get that 35% of the population has a bisexual orientation! Good lord, that's 1 in 3! Studies throughout the world estimate 3%-7% for all LGBTs (let's even say 10% to be generous) which would make the Bis a much smaller number!
Your second percentage breakdown of the gender scale ... again, there is no large-scale meaningful study that provides such figures. If you want a quick, common sense assessment, take the number of websites available to various groups of people within this community as an indication of the number who are at different places along the spectrum. Google "crossdresser" and you will be served literally millions of websites catering strictly to the fetish aspect of the CDing, certainly a great deal more than 10% of all the websites for CDs/TGs/TSs!
Reine
I am hetero, dress every day, and have a wonderful 35 year relationship with my SO. I can't really address the question as to how many crossdressers are gay, but just confirm that I am not.
I am in the same place as Ezekiel - Completely heterosexual despite the fact that I love wearing panties and lingerie.
Correct. Although more importantly it almost certainly means that he has great taste in underwear.
No but I am willing to learn............
Hi All going to put my 3 cents in, As I am one of the older C D's on here 74. Over the years I have taken part. I don't look my age so I do have other gurls that I have been with. Sex cross's all lines and I have found that having sex with my wife, I get jealous. She on the other hand " said ". I am not gay, but like to have sex with me as a women. I don't due it just too, I like to have a attraction , just like with a women. O K that is just me. JO
I can only speak about my thoughts as I'm new to the CD community (I'm that deep in the closet). I love to dress really girly (apparently this is sissy....whatever) and I enjoy certain activities with my SO that many gay couples also enjoy. Now to many conventional people with no knowledge or just plain ignorance this would scream gay. People fear what they don't understand and love to put things and people in categories personally I don't think of myself as gay but many would and that's fine by me whatever makes you feel safe sweetie xxx
I don't know I've seen some incredibly attractive CDrs that have made me think twice.
Last edited by Katey888; 08-31-2015 at 02:31 PM. Reason: Consecutive posts merged - please use edit post to add to existing post rather than adding a successive post...
95% are. You can tell because if you ask them they will say NO NO NO I'M NOT GAY!. You can find many in this forum.
All there 'polarized' views just go to confirm one thing: Gender and sexuality are different things, and can have ZERO to do with each other.
- MM
- Madame Moose - on my way to Anne
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"I yam what I yam and tha's all what I yam." -- Popeye the Sailor
"If I am not for myself, who will be for me? And when I am for myself, what am 'I'? And if not now, when?" - Hillel the Elder
I love to crossdress and it has been part of my life forever, I am totally heterosexual just a heterosexual that loves to cross dress
I have never had any feelings towards being gay, never tried it, never wanted to or felt the need for me crossdressing is not about sexual needs and there is much myth and lack of understanding from people who don't know
This is a complicated question to answer for me. I would say that I'm straight, heterosexual.
I'm not attracted to men physically but when I'm dressed I do enjoy the fantasy about being with a man or another cross dresser. Not so much a woman.
I suppose this must make me a little bi but I've never had any sexual interaction with a man so not sure which box i fall into.
I think that's not truth, im say i'm not gay becouse i have 26 years and I know myself and I am absolutely certain whats my sexual orientation, I have no problems with gay people and if i was gay, i had no problems to tell, but im not, im really like GG, never interested in men! I think that ensure they are others, not knowing what they are, it's no good!
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