I want to go out in public.......

[SexyMarianne]

.......I have been out a few times dressed at night(I live in a very safe neighbourhood). Usually right before dawn due to my hours. But I want to take it a little further and possibly interact with people. Do any of you have hair and makeup tips for a beginner who wants to try for the first time? Secondly, any suggestions of places I could go?

[Rachelakld]

I'm 50 now, and have a don't care attitude so....
I have a $50 wig, use a light layer of foundation, mascara & lipstick (if I'm not swimming at the pools, otherwise no make up at all)
I tend to go to a café for brunch (9-10am), but when I was younger and scared, I tended to go for 6 am breakfasts.

[joanna4]

That is exactly how I started, though my neighborhood was not that safe at the time I was living there. I did so when the sun came down and no one was home yet. It was a huge rush to get out that door. Then I started getting in the car and driving. It eventually evolved into going into stores and shopping malls. So at first , it was alone then later, I went into crowded places. Its all possible.

For tips, I would say practice, practice, practice. Go for makeup looks that you like and fit your face. As for hair, a $40 ebay wig will be great.

For me, I started with terrible, bright colored, and cheap makeup and a blonde Halloween costume wig. After a few years, everything evolved gradually and I'm still in the process of growing. I hope you will get to you goals, set a goal each step of the way and it will be very rewarding. I promise you and good luck.

[Annieenvelope]

Coffee shops are best for early morning hours. My husband first started out with just driving in the car and then to drive-thru restaurants until she/he got her/his courage up.

There are many wigs on E-bay to peruse. Usually a color close to your natural color will look best.

Most cosmetic counters do free make up with lessons. If you don't feel comfortable going to one then maybe find a GG to help you with it.

[SexyMarianne]

thank you for the help. Would you have any suggestions where to find a gg?

[Marcelle]

Hi Marianne,

We all start somewhere when we make that leap to the daytime Vanilla world. My recommendation is practice and hone your look WRT make-up. We all need varying degrees of make-up application depending on things such as beard, male features so get comfortable to a point where you don't seem overdone but still have a good femme look . . . make-up is an art form to say the least. A good natural looking wig is best as some have mentioned, you can get a decent one on e-bay for about $40 (to start). Clothing . . . personal choice for sure and depends on your style. However, if your intent is to blend in, study women in your age group and pick a style they wear that works for you. Look is one thing but mannerisms (walk, gestures) and things we as guys have never been socialized in (e.g., carrying a purse, shopping bags) are important to blend in. Again, study women (not in that creepy stalker way though ). Observe how they walk, move, gesture, interact, carry bags, purse, use their cell phones and so on . . . mastering these concepts will help with blending. Voice . . . well again some can do better than others and you will have to work at it and even then I have met some stunningly gorgeous Trans-women who still have deep voices. Just don't do a falsetto Mickey Mouse voice . . . slightly hire pitch, softer tone and practice.

As far as venue what I will say sounds counter intuitive but a crowded mall with a coffee shop would be good. People are busy with their lives and have little time to scrutinize every detail of people in crowded places so the more people, the easier it is too blend.

Final advice . . . thick skin. It is not easy to get out in public and once you are there well, with the exception of a very minutia level of CDers, we all get "clocked, read, made" or whatever at some point. You will get some WTF stares . . . giggles and guffaws and perhaps (very rare) extremely rude people but you have to be prepared for that. Some people here call it "owning the day" but it is really a self-confidence issue and being comfortable with who you are.

Good luck and keep us updated.


Cheers

Isha

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Marianne, A little color on your cheeks and a little lipstick , to the gas station or a department store or a fast food store.

[AbigailJordan]

Hi Marianne,

I started like you, late night drives to nowhere, worked up to drive thru's and garages, I used to visit my friend 30 miles away on winter evenings when it got dark early etc.

For my first time out in daylight, for me it was one of those "screw everyone. if they don't like it they can just keep walking". I didn't go overboard, nice cream linen pegged trousers (dressing a little older than my actual age helped), a nice wrap around purple top, and tiger print tailored jacket with my Prada bag. muted makeup (go for nudes/pinks rather than bright red on lippy, and soft pastels on the eyes rather than neons etc). The less there is that "stands out" the less glances you'll draw.

I will warn you that you're far more likely to get "obviously noticed" by kids. Adults will tend to "check you out" and then either be uncomfortably embarrassed or quietly disgusted. Kids will stare. and stare.. and stare. If they are in a group rather than with their parents, they may even follow you around the store giggling etc. Funnily enough however, kids are also the most accepting once things are explained.. My best friends little boy calls me by my male name, but refers to me as "Auntie V".

Just keep reminding yourself.. only one person in ten will notice you at all.. only one in ten of those will "make you".. and only one in ten of those will have any issue.. and only one in ten of those will have the courage to say anything negative.. so the odds of a negative reaction on a trip out are around 1 in 10,000.. pretty good odds as you're probably only going to see 50 people

Best of luck with it hunny
Lots of Luv
Abi xxx

[St. Eve]

Hi Maryanne

Thanks for posting this thread, I find myself in the same place. Just ordered a wig (probably one that is to cheap,) and getting up the courage to ask a GG over to help we with my make-up and go out with me for lunch during my next Eve day.

Good luck to both of us!

Peace
Eve

[Krisi]

Walking around in a neighborhood dressed as a woman late at night is sure to get you noticed and probably stopped by the police. Real women don't do that, safe neighborhood or not.

My suggestion is to go to a shopping mall, park or the business or tourist section of your town or city in broad daylight. Get a wig with bangs and wear feminine sunglasses. Act like you are actually walking somewhere, don't just wander around.

If you wear sunglasses you won't have to worry too much about eye makeup. Beard cover and lipstick will do. There are dozens of makeup videos on youtube.

[Sometimes Steffi]

Whenever this question comes up, I always say that there are two ways to go out in public, step by step, or jump right in. I chose the jump right in approach. My first time out I went to the Maryland Renaissance Festival, rented a wench costume and went out to enjoy the world. The RenFest is attended by thousands of people each day, so there was no hiding in dark corners. I didn't even have a wig at that time, so I just put a scarf over my head. It was a wonderful experience and it went very well for me.

I don't recommend this for everyone, but a lot of people at the RenFest are in costume anyhow, like knights, ladies in waiting, etc. So an extra faux wench didn't really stick out that much.

[kimdl93]

My suggestion would be to wear a feminine, casual outfit, minimal make up and make two stops. First go to a wig shop and ask the staff to help you pick a wig suited to your facial structure and coloring. Then go to MAC or similar cosmetics counter or store for a makeover

[Katey888]

Other option not yet mentioned: Accepting or 'safe' venue - generally a recognised LGBT club.

Advantages: Dark (so more forgiving for makeup newbies); security and wait staff trained to behave correctly towards customers however presenting; other clientele either accepting or at least not surprised by CDers; Other CDers (if your aim is to interact with others like yourself); Safety (security in club and possibly car parking, depending on venue); Dancing! (if you can tolerate loud, modern music); Pretty much any style of clothing is acceptable - casual to clubwear or themed...

Disadvantages: Clubs are clubs and have loud music, dancing fools (like me ) and you have to pay to get in; tend to be evening/ late night only but you already go out at night...; you do have to interact with people rather than just wandering around a mall; some possibility of being hit on if you present well (possibly even if you don't...) but this can be part of the fun...; sore feet after hours of dancing and ringing ears (take earplugs!)

Other LGBT events might be suitable, or conventions... depends on what you like and are comfortable with and why you're doing this and what's available in your locale... Motivation is a big chunk of how we do what we do, I believe...

Katey x

[Kandi Robbins]

I have been going out fully as a woman for about 7 months now. I found my comfort level grew by first visiting places generally frequented by women. So I went to women's only consignment stores, or a lingerie store, places where I knew I would get some interaction but would not have to deal with possible stares from men. I am also very honest about myself when shopping, in either male or female mode. Honesty and a big smile will light up an SA and you'll find them being very helpful.

Now I have a weekly volunteer job as a woman, frequently shop using fitting rooms around other female customers and go pretty much anywhere I want, but still prefer to put myself in situations where there are likely more women than men. That both gives me comfort and helps me achieve my primary objective, interaction with other woman as a woman. Heck, tomorrow I am taking a Sephora beauty class (I need it), just me and a bunch of other gals! So far, so good. You won't believe how much richer CDing will be for you once you do get out and how much more you will enjoy it. I can honestly say I have never been happier with myself than I am now.

Good luck and please keep us posted (pictures are always welcome!).

[Donnagirl]

All I can add to the above is visit the venue first and check out what the women are wearing. Copy there level of dressing... The click clack of stilettos on a shopping centre tiled floor might be a wonderful sound, but if your the only one making it, well you're going to get noticed fairly quickly...
You will be nervous, excited, scared and elated all at once, well I uncertainly was on my first time into the real world. Enjoy as those feelings soon pass and it just becomes normal to grocery shop in boots, jeans and sweater dress...