Tonight is the night I've , rightly or wrongly, decided to reveal all to my Wife ,she already knows I under-dress but not that i fully dress when alone, forms,wig,make-up, the full monty, Im going to pick my moment and tell her,wish me luck !!
Tonight is the night I've , rightly or wrongly, decided to reveal all to my Wife ,she already knows I under-dress but not that i fully dress when alone, forms,wig,make-up, the full monty, Im going to pick my moment and tell her,wish me luck !!
Best wishes, I hope it goes well for you both
Good luck. I hope you're well prepared.
Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one.
Eleanor Roosevelt
Good luck.
Best of luck. When I told my wife it took several days for her to do her research and process this new perspective of me. You've been growing into this for a very long time, she may need a while to think over all you have been thinking and feeling for a long time. And there may be an issue of trust to deal with as well, why you kept this from her for so long. In the long run that turned out to be a bigger problem than my crossdressing. Expect the unexpected, be comfortable with who you are and remember you got together in the first place for your love of each other.
Sarah
Being transgender isn't a lifestyle choice. How you deal with it is.
Start out with "I love you and you are the center of my world." Repeat this about every five minutes.
Be gentle.
Don't overload her.
Let her absorb it.
Don't overload her.
Be gentle.
Gently tell her where you see this going to. Hopefully it is just CDing.
I wish you both the best because you are revealing that you have been doing something she might not be aware of.
Otherwise maybe you could ASK her if she would mind you doing this now and then. If she says NO then don't, wait three months and ask again. But if she says OK then proceed slowly.
Are you planning to surprise her, by meeting her out of the blue in all out girl mode?!
I can only speak from my own experience, but doing that seems like a *really* bad idea!
My advice, for what it's worth: sit down with her (in boy mode), perhaps over a nice diner and some wine, and explain what's going on. There will likely be tears. There will be a lot of serious stuff to work through . As others have said, be kind, be patient, be completely open and honest. Work through all of that.
When she's ready, ask her of she'd like to see some pics (make them tasteful). Then, if she says she even wants to ... then let her meet Stephanie.
I know the "BLAM! Got it all over in one go!" approach seems tempting from our perspective. I considered it myself, before realizing that my motivations for wanting to do that we're primarily selfish. I wanted to have it all over with quickly... stop to consider how your wife might prefer to receive this life changing sort of info.
"Why shouldn't art be pretty? There are enough unpleasant things in the world." -Pierre-Auguste Renoir
Don't do it when dressed. Have resources that she can turn to to help her understand- readings and videos perhaps. Be prepared to suggest going through counseling together. Good luck!
Be loving to her and yourself. You are not a terrible person so don't act like it. Breathe and calmly tell her the truth. I am hopeful for you!!!
Suzanne
Go with BillieAnne! Be gracious. Be gentle, and make sure that everything you say reflects your love.
If you always do what you always did, you'll always get what you always got!
Good luck Stephanie.
It will be a roller coaster of emotions for both of you. Remember, it is only the beginning of another long road. I can talk from experience. Lots of patience and re assurance will be required, coupled with some undoubted strong and probing questions. Please stay calm and do not pressurize her into acceptance. I sincerely hope for a mutually beneficial outcome and that there is some or full acceptance as it makes your relationship stronger without the element of hiding and the fear of discovery. I look forward to reading of the outcome.
Best of luck!
Just remember a few things though;
Her initial reaction may not reflect her attitude, she may be confused and worried at first.
It may take her a few days to reflect on everything.
Be honest, if your going to bring it up tell her the complete truth.
Explain why you wanted her to know, honesty, freedom, to reduce fear etc etc
And be patient! While it's great to get things off your chest it is easy to become miserable when the response isn't what you thought it may be, or a resolution doesn't arrive as fast as you would like.
And lastly you know why you are doing this, so when the right moment comes up be brave and go for it, you can only be you and you can only do your best but hesitation will prevent that
Sarah x
♫I cant stand to fly, I'm not that naive. I'm just out to find the better part of me. I'm more than a bird, I'm more than a plane, I'm more than some pretty face beside a train. Its not easy to be me.♫
Good luck Stephanie, I understand how you feel, it's a hurdle I've yet to overcome
GG posting
Take it slow with her but tell her everything don't only tell half a story. Ask her to let you finish talking then listen to her questions. Don't expect it to be all fun and lovey dovey and don't expect her to be all accepting straight away, she will have to process what you have told her and then the best thing she could do is get an account here so that she can talk to other GGs in the FAB section which is private.
Good luck.
Sandra
Administrator
I always used to rib you about your legs can't anymore. R.I.P Sexy Legs
R.I.P Rianna
Good luck! Pick your time; be gentle with yourself if you decide to postpone.
Stephanie, the best of luck to you. My only advice is breath.
I'll be thinking about you on this one. The door seems already slightly open and all the advice here is great. Did this myself last December and it changed my life, but everyone's situation is different. Good luck!!!
Visit Kandi's Land (http://www.kandis-land.com/) daily! Nothing but positive and uplifting posts!
Pictures and stories of every time out: https://www.flickr.com/photos/131254150@N06/.
Good luck! My wife had several questions for me when we had this convo, take the time to answer them all straight from your heart. It's nerve wracking as heck having this talk with your SO, but let me tell you after it's done, you will know no greater relief. I'm so happy for you, hope all goes splendidly!!!
<3 Lauren
This is very doable but as Sandra wrote, tell it ALL.
Good luck. On the one hand, her knowing that you underdress may be of some help, it may buffer some of the shock. But, don't bet the farm on that either. I was sort of leaking it out to my wife so to speak, was already shaving my legs and underarms by the time I told her. She was still quite taken back by it all. I do still think that overall it might have been not quite as much of a shock, but still a lot of high voltage went through that night.
If there is one thing I have learned, is, don't treat it like you have some BAD condition, or are a bad person, or make it out to be some negative thing. You can and may likely have to apologize for not fully disclosing. Be prepared for that as much as anything. That will hit her harder than anything.
Chickens should be allowed to cross the road without having their motives questioned
*UPDATE*
well I started off by bringing up the subject slowly and very gently, with suggestion's like what if you saw a man dressed has a woman ? etc etc. she then looked me in the eyes and said "oh your talking about the way you dress when your alone" I replied "well yes" she said " Ive know'n for years " turns out she first found out a few years back from our security cam footage, one time when I went into the yard dressed, and it never occurred to me that i would be on camera ...doh ..,but we continued to talk and talk, and shes perfectly fine with it all,she has even been online tonight and purchased items for both of us,. thanks everyone for the advice you gave me xx
thats awsome
well even if i'm wrong, you know i'm right
Very cool! So excited for ya'll.
Hi Stephanie,
Good luck and give her time to digest as this will be a lot to take in. I started a thread some time ago about communicating after the big reveal. Lots of folks posted and provide a good basis http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...couraged/page2
Remember we are here for you.
Cheers
Isha
Stephanie,
Well done for getting over that hurdle, but take it slow now , you may think the brakes are off but sometimes you have to take a few steps back.
Give it a few days to let the dust settle, I guess it's going to be interesting when the items arrive will she want to see you wearing them, depending what they are ?
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