Page 1 of 3 123 LastLast
Results 1 to 25 of 75

Thread: You are in the wrong bathroom........

  1. #1
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Posts
    46

    You are in the wrong bathroom........

    The other night I went out with the wife to a movie and dinner. All was going well as usual, but then I needed to go to the restroom. (BAD) I try to plan my restroom trips so that people will have as little discomfort as possible. I try to stop at places that have single room, or family restrooms. Next would be fast food places that are not busy. My last choice is anywhere that is busy. I go to the women's restroom because there is never anyone in the bathroom when I am around. But on this night, the movies were crowded and there was no family bathroom. Plus, there were a ton of younger kids there. So I decided that since I am not a transsexual, just a crossdresser, and that so many people in my conservative area are always on facebook complaining about the bathroom issue, I would use my birth gender restroom. I think it would be better for me to use the ladies room when I am wearing a dress pantyhose and heels, but since I know I only pass 50 percent of the time, and that how I dress isnt really anyone's business, and I don't really care what people think anyhow, then it doesnt matter to me where I pee. So lo and behold some guy comes up to me as soon as I walk in and tells me that I am in the wrong bathroom. I tell him thanks, but I have this handled. He insists that I leave and go to the womens bathroom. Sooo, I used my hush voice with him and ask if he really wants me to go to the bathroom with his wife and kids. He says you're probably right, sorry. Then he leaves. I got quite a few looks while I was in there. (less than 3 minutes) My question is do people want us to use the womens room, the mens room or just not use the bathroom at all?

  2. #2
    Rotten 80's child Nicole Erin's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Location
    Indiana
    Posts
    7,074
    People are going to have a problem no matter what.
    Aside the family/single occupancy restrooms, there is no correct answer.
    I am surprised a man would have a problem because it is kind of a no-no to bother others in the men's room.

    If this stupid restroom law had never been pushed there would be less problems. TG have been using the restrooms of their chosen gender for years but suddenly it is a problem.
    It takes a true Erin to be a pain in the assatar.

  3. #3
    Stand-up Comedian En Fem❤ Alice_2014_B's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2014
    Location
    Puyallup, WA (USA)
    Posts
    4,455
    Only time I used the restroom in public in fem-mode was at the local comedy club.
    I just went to the urinal, hiked up my dress and went, no one else was in there.
    Melissa: "... and why are you dressed as a woman?"
    Coach McGuirk: "Because it's freeing."

    -Home Movies
    (cartoon series)

    Shoe size: 9 US women's.
    Dress size: M to L; 8-10.
    Height: 5' 6".

  4. #4
    18 yo Girl <3 Chloe Triss's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2018
    Posts
    14
    Just use the female bathroom. Because with what you're wearing, women/girls can't and just don't assume your gender and women bathroom only have locked rooms. As for me I just use any bathroom if I feel like it since I've been assumed as a tomboy for most of time so I can use the male bathroom + the female bathroom wearing my boy clothes. Unlike men who usually speak their minds, women tend to keep things secret to themselves, maybe gossip about you but the fact remains that they probably won't stop you from using the female bathroom.

    Good luck next time
    Hope Chloe advice helps.....<3

  5. #5
    Platinum Member Teresa's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    Location
    UK
    Posts
    10,525
    Hosekid,
    It looks like we are never going to please everyone ! I usually use disabled toilets , if I have to use the male ones I head for a cubicle. On one occasion the disabled one was out of use as I stood considering the options a GG from our group dragged me by the arm into the female ones saying no one is going to know you're not a woman !
    The real me ,no going back.

  6. #6
    Silver Member stephNE's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    Location
    No. Virginia
    Posts
    2,204
    When I need to go, I use the women's room. I feel its safer for me in there. I do try to go at home before I go out, and most times I'm back home within a couple hours, so there is no need to go while I'm out. But sometimes I am out for the entire day, and then I have no choice. Go in and go straight into a stall, do you business, wash and leave quickly. Don't look at other women, etc.
    Stephanie

  7. #7
    Silver Member Helen_Highwater's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Location
    Midlands UK
    Posts
    4,613
    Hosekid,

    Sorry but I feel I need to call foul. Your comment about, "Did he really want you shaing a bathroom with his wife and kids" makes us out to be in someway perverted. That in using the ladies his family will suffer harm.

    Saying what you did reinforces negative stereotypes. Something along the lines of, "Sorry but I'm conscious of causing offence to some females so I thought it best to come here" shows consideration on your part. That you are aware of those around you. Follow that up with, "Do you think your wife would be offended?" places the onus on him. Does he want to make his wife look a bigot. If he answers "Yes" then ask "So where do I go if neither of you want me with them?"

    I understand the pressure choosing which bathroom to use brings, certainly at busy times. Standing waiting for a cubicle to come free isn't something I'd feel comfortable doing. Thankfully I've always been able to fall back on using the disable toilet up to now but I'm sure it's a dilemma I'll face at some time.

    I have given thought to this and have my choice of words outlined in my head should a GG make a comment about my presence. It's along the lines of, "I don't want to run the risk of some bloke getting physical and one or both of us getting hurt". "Trust me, I'm not here for any other reason than taking a pee in safety" "I certainly don't want to cause offence" Hopefully dialogue will work. Time will no doubt tell.
    Last edited by Helen_Highwater; 03-03-2018 at 05:13 AM.

  8. #8
    carolyn todd carolyn todd's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Location
    isle of wight
    Posts
    459
    Hosekid
    i've just come back from a ten day female holiday dressed 24/7, i am told i past at a distant but not close up but i had no problem going into the ladies toilet (bathroom)for a pee for me it was a case of go in
    have a pee,wash my hands, check my dress, face, powder, lipstick and out not looking at any one else.
    if i am dress female i will use the ladies if i am dressed as a male i will use the gents.

    Carolyn

  9. #9
    ADMINISTRATOR Sandra's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Location
    UK
    Posts
    25,469
    Quote Originally Posted by hosekid View Post
    I used my hush voice with him and ask if he really wants me to go to the bathroom with his wife and kids.
    Really what a thing to say. The majority of the public think that any trans person is perverted, and totally disagree when presenting as female using the female toilets, you saying this just confirmed their thoughts and set the community back. Sorry but it was totally the wrong thing to say.
    Sandra
    Administrator

    I always used to rib you about your legs can't anymore. R.I.P Sexy Legs

    R.I.P Rianna

  10. #10
    Gold Member alwayshave's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Location
    Washington, DC
    Posts
    6,810
    Hosekid, I'm going to agree with Helen, your comment reinforces the notion of troglodytes and small minded religious zealots.
    Please call me Jamie, I always_have crossdressed, I always will, "alwayshave".

  11. #11
    Platinum Member kimdl93's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Location
    Almost heaven, but not West Virginia
    Posts
    20,369
    I’m going to guess that he actually thought you were a woman and thought he was being helpful.

    To the larger issue, I really don’t think most people give a darn which bathroom anyone uses, so long as they don’t have to wait in line!

    Easy come, easy go;
    Easy left me long ago...

  12. #12
    Reality Check Krisi's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2014
    Posts
    6,767
    If you're dressed as a female and reasonably pass as a female, you should be using the women's restroom unless it's illegal in your area. If you're dressed as a female but look like Hulk Hogan in drag, you probably shouldn't use the woman's restroom. That may leave you no other choice than to use the men's restroom. Of course, restrooms are something we should plan for before we go out so keep this in mind. Sometimes it pays to scout out our outing destinations beforehand.
    Krisi

  13. #13
    Silver Member Micki_Finn's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2016
    Location
    Southern California
    Posts
    2,508
    I’ve always used the ladies room but I’m out here on the west coast that’s pretty liberal, and I pass better than some so I’ve never had an issue.

  14. #14
    Gold Member Rachael Leigh's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2013
    Location
    Dallas Ft Worth metro
    Posts
    5,572
    For me if I’m dressed en fem I will not do the men’s room, I’m way more comfortable in the ladies room.
    I just make sure I don’t talk much if any if I’m spoken too. It’s just do my business and leave.
    Never had an issue

  15. #15
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Location
    Western Washington
    Posts
    10,401
    More than once I have been at a sport's venue and a woman has entered yelling "woman on board!" Of course, she always heads for the stall. The usual explanation is the very long lines at the ladies' room. I've also seen mother's come into a men's room to protect their sons from perverts who prey on little boys.

    The next time I would recommend when en femme in the men's room is head directly to a stall, not a urinal. Maybe you should write to that ABC program "What would you do?" That would be interesting.

  16. #16
    Silver Member Becky Blue's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    Australia
    Posts
    2,417
    I have happily used the Ladies in Australia and the USA it has never been a problem. I think more people will be concerned with seeing a fully dressed and made up 'woman' in the mens.

    I also have to agree with the others above, what you said to the guy about using the ladies with his wife and kids, is really not a great comment.
    A.K.A Rebecca & Bec

  17. #17
    Stop that, it's silly.... DIANEF's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2016
    Location
    TEHRAN
    Posts
    2,275
    I have yet to be in this situation but I once asked my wife if she had any issues with 'trannies' (that is what she calls CDs who visit the supermarket she works at) from using the ladies toilets if she was in there. Her reply was, 'no, so long as they behaved themselves'... I didn't press her on what she meant, maybe I should have.
    Here today, gone tomorrow....

  18. #18
    Yeah Ok like whatever Tracii G's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Location
    Between here and there but mostly here close to the donuts.
    Posts
    21,415
    I just use the facilities for which gender I am at that time and there have never been any issues.
    Its a lot safer that way. I have been doing it that way long before any stupid law was enacted.
    Its one of those laws that no one will follow or pay attention to anyway.
    Trans people have been doing it that way longer than I have been on this planet and its never been a problem so why now?
    A lot of this stems from a small group of people that don't like something so they try and ruin things for others they don't agree with.
    Last edited by Tracii G; 03-01-2018 at 07:02 PM.
    Head Executive Chief of the Dept of Redundancy Dept.

  19. #19
    Senior Member Aunt Kelly's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2016
    Location
    Greater Houston
    Posts
    1,978
    Use the neutral facilities if available. If you have to choose, use the facility that corresponds to your presentation.
    It's simple. Yes, it really is. The whole panic about trans people using bathrooms was an invention of a particular group of political animals, trying to appeal to a particular group of haters. Most people, by far, don't by that B.S. If you get in, take care of business and get out, just like any other woman, you'll likely get nothing more than a second glance, if that.

  20. #20
    mini kilted chick t-girlxsophie's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    Location
    Lanarkshire,Bonnie Scotland
    Posts
    3,004
    I think tbh that guy was basically an ass,looking for an argument.I think too that this bathroom issue isn't as much of a problem as it is in the U.S. I have never in my years had a bad experience in the Ladies.

    Ive been in some clubs where the women can't be bothered waiting in queues so jump into the men's And are these religious zealots up in arms when a young child is out with mum and she takes them into the Ladies it's crazy
    Last edited by Shelly Preston; 03-02-2018 at 12:03 PM. Reason: Language
    We look to Scotland,for all our Ideas of Civilisation-Voltaire

    ========================================

    A woman who loves to wear beautiful clothes is like a flower.
    A man who loves to emulate these women is a special flower-a rose
    Facebook:Sophie Johnson

  21. #21
    Yeah Ok like whatever Tracii G's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Location
    Between here and there but mostly here close to the donuts.
    Posts
    21,415
    Sophie here in the US its not as big a deal as they make it out to be so much you almost never hear about it anymore.
    No trans person I know really cares about the law they just do what they have always done.
    Head Executive Chief of the Dept of Redundancy Dept.

  22. #22
    mini kilted chick t-girlxsophie's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    Location
    Lanarkshire,Bonnie Scotland
    Posts
    3,004
    Quote Originally Posted by Tracii G View Post
    Sophie here in the US its not as big a deal as they make it out to be so much you almost never hear about it anymore.
    I'm happy to hear that,it did seem to go a wee bit OTT for a while there.
    We look to Scotland,for all our Ideas of Civilisation-Voltaire

    ========================================

    A woman who loves to wear beautiful clothes is like a flower.
    A man who loves to emulate these women is a special flower-a rose
    Facebook:Sophie Johnson

  23. #23
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Posts
    46
    I don't really know why my comment would be bad. Using someone's own argument against them when they change their story seems perfectly legit. I personally don't care what bathroom people use, but I will say that when my daughter is in the bathroom I monitor the door for any person who enters that sets red flags off. I usually stand just outside, and listen for her to call me if anything is awry, but there have been occasions when I have just went in after someone shady goes in. I hate to say that I intentionally make people uncomfortable, but when you are near my kids, you need to have a slightly uncomfortable feeling. So I guess I can see where some of these people are coming from. I mean, if we want them to understand our side of the situation, we have to be willing to understand theirs.

    I would like to point out 1 example where I am in disagreement with genetic males using the ladies room. Teenagers. Trans or CD, they are still teenagers and lack impulse control. There is no way I want 15 year old angie/tommy in the bathroom at school with my 10 year old.

    I also dont understand why someone who is a CD and does not have a gender identity disorder would oppose using the men's restroom if need be. If you are able to decide to wear a dress in public shouldn't you own it? I mean, I feel that I have just as much right to pee in the Men's room whether I am wearing a dress and heels or a 3 piece suit.

  24. #24
    Silver Member IleneD's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2016
    Location
    Colorado
    Posts
    2,177
    You are a better girl than I am, Gunga Din. ;.... er, HoseKid.
    I think you handled the situation with aplomb and grace. Don't know if I could have discreetly done the same.
    There resides within me a Woman, and she is powerful.
    She has been my Grace and Bearing on the stormiest seas.
    I could no more deny Her than I would my own soul.

  25. #25
    Yeah Ok like whatever Tracii G's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Location
    Between here and there but mostly here close to the donuts.
    Posts
    21,415
    Hosekid your comment did come off as promoting the assumption trans or CD people are perverts out to get "our" kids.
    I was protective of my 2 daughters when they were little too but you need to understand your sons or daughters are way more likely to get abducted in a bathroom buy a person of the proper gender for that room than some trans person that just wants to pee.
    We are all not Hulk Hogan in drag.
    To your last paragraph you can pee in whichever room you wish but if I were to go in a men's room with several guys in there its quite possible they would not want me in there and maybe commit a crime agains't me.
    Why walk into the lions den and expect not to be bitten.
    I can own anything I do and have no problem defending myself but I'm not stupid.
    I can choose to go to the ladies room and be drama free and be on my way. Isn't that much simpler?
    Your incident went off just fine and the guy said OK so it worked out fine so no reason to worry over it.
    Last edited by Tracii G; 03-01-2018 at 08:45 PM.
    Head Executive Chief of the Dept of Redundancy Dept.

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  


Check out these other hot web properties:
Catholic Personals | Jewish Personals | Millionaire Personals | Unsigned Artists | Crossdressing Relationship
BBW Personals | Latino Personals | Black Personals | Crossdresser Chat | Crossdressing QA
Biker Personals | CD Relationship | Crossdressing Dating | FTM Relationship | Dating | TG Relationship


The crossdressing community is one that needs to stick together and continue to be there for each other for whatever one needs.
We are always trying to improve the forum to better serve the crossdresser in all of us.

Browse Crossdressers By State