sending in a spy

[jenniferinsf]

i agree with blue orchid, they are either looking at their mobile phone or in the mirror....

[Loni]

yes people notice, yes people talk, yes people laugh.

at you and me ? i can not say.

but if nothing else at least I leave them with a smile on there faces.

[Krisi]

I must have missed Isha's earlier thread, the one she mentioned in post #15. I just read it.

She had a negative experience in Victoria's Secret. I'm not making excuses for the treatment she received, but that is a store that caters mostly to the young "hot chick" crowd. I've been there with my wife. There's nothing there that would be suitable for me. The employees are mostly young women who view themselves as "hot chicks" also. Employees in this type of store (except perhaps the manager) are not career employees, they are young people waiting to get married or find a better job somewhere. Pretty much the same crowd that works the fast food establishments but better dressed. Isha ran into a bad egg.

I expect Isha (and any of us) would find better treatment at a store that caters to older and more mainstream women. Dillards, J C Pennys, Kohls, etc.

[jjjjohanne]

I am interested in conducting this experiment, and I feel like I am as psycho as Castanza when I consider it.

Here is my idea for further research:
Send in a CD to a restaurant, etc. where you and your co-workers or family will be. Then you can see how they react to a CD. Then you know who you can not tell your secret to.

Science!!

[AngelaYVR]

You don't have any control over the opinions of others and their opinions shouldn't have any control over you.

[Rhonda Jean]

Wow. I missed Isha's original post on this subject. That's pretty disturbing.

When I was in my mid 20's I did a similar experiment except I didn't have an accomplice. I had been going out since I was a teenager and thought I passed without question. Without going into all the boring details, I got into a situation where for the first time I knew I'd been read. It shook me up. I stared my own experiment by, for instance, going into a store en femme and returning at another time and either making up some story about why I'd been in there earlier dressed as a woman (as if it'd been a joke) and seeing if they'd read me, or just outright asking if they read me. Then I'd ask how they read me, what gave me away. Of the ones who read me, the answers were enlightening. Some said they didn't really know. That they could just tell. One said my hands. Several said my voice. One said it was because I was wearing a leopard print bra with a black blouse. (?). A couple of them said it was because I was overdressed.

My (over) reaction was to try to be more feminine, or at least what that meant to me at the time. Shorter/tighter dresses, bigger boobs, higher heels. I specifically remember an electric blue spandex mini dress. Of course, all that was a big mistake, and of course I passed less, not more.

I'd be lying if I said it wasn't important to me to pass, but the older I get the more difficult that becomes. Sometimes it's just not worth the effort. More and more I just go 50/50 and don't even try.

[Janet Bern]

I used to go shopping with a female friend when I was dressed. She would follow
me and see if anyone noticed me or did any double takes.. Even when we were
both at a counter purchasing a pocketbook no one ever looked twice. I am 6'2 and
was wearing flats.. no problem...

[mechamoose]

None of those folks understand,

I get angry at not being allowed to just be myself.

I don't want to apologize, I don't want to be sorry. I don't care where you are on the CD-TS spectrum, we have the right to be this way.

It makes me so angry that any of us have to deal with that.

Yah, I'm wearing a skirt. What the hell does that have to do with anything?

- MM