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My GRS with Marci Bowers, and breast augmentation with Joel Beck on Friday went extremely well. I wasn't sure whether or not I was going to post anything about my surgery, either here or anywhere else, as I can't imagine a more personal thing I could experience. I also worry about the feelings of people who want and need this surgery, but can't get it for any number of reasons. There is very little fairness in this process for so many of us.

I got to see my new (or at least repurposed) genitals for the first time yesterday morning. My boyfriend had stayed with me overnight, so at 6AM, after the nurse had removed my bandages, I asked her to leave the room, and I called over to my boyfriend to awaken him. He figured I needed for him to help me with something, but I told him "Just come over and look".

So he moved beside me, and we looked at my vagina. It was dimly lit in the room and still dark outside. It was an incredibly intimate moment, and it is my favorite memory of my life so far. He held my hand, we talked softly about what had happened, and I cried a little and thanked him for being with me - he hadn't left my side since the surgery. I love this man with all of my heart, at least such as love works for me. The only thing I could imagine that might have felt comparable was a young couple together holding their new baby for the first time. Sadly, that isn't in the cards for us, but this'll do.

So I have noticed several things so far. It's much quieter in my head now - my Dysphoria seems to be gone. I feel great! Just the pressure of that thing laying against my body felt wrong I guess, because I notice its absence, and it's very nice! My sleep is quiet, my dreams so far, just dreams. I can imagine wanting to nap just because it's nice to nap now. I feel so much better.

The only part of this that surprised me was how unpleasant it is to be catheterized. But other than that, this process hasn't been bad at all. I'm a bit itchy - I seem to be allergic to the antibiotic they gave me. Benadryl is helping with that.

I should be released from the hospital today, and I am ready for it. I have follow ups later in the week, and I'll lose the catheter at that time.

I'm here in California until the 14th, barring complications.