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Thread: Don't want to go to this wedding

  1. #1
    Aspiring Member JeanetteX's Avatar
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    Don't want to go to this wedding

    I'm off to a relative's wedding in half an hour. So here I am behind my computer wearing this awful suit and tie. I am so not looking forward to this day wearing this crap for hours and hours. I can already picture it...us men walking around like a bunch of penquins in boring suits while all the women will be all dolled up in their beatiful dresses, pantyhoses and high heels. Its going to be a tough day for me I'm afraid so wish me luck girls! Can't wait to be back home and put on something nice myself.

    Does this sound familiar to any of you?
    Love and hugs Jeanette

  2. #2
    GG ReineD's Avatar
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    I'm sorry that you feel badly. I haven't felt this way (I'm a GG), but over the years I've read posts from many people here who have felt the way you do.

    Do you mind if I ask you a question. Would you feel better at the wedding if you didn't pay any attention to what you are wearing and instead focused on the friends and family you will be with and enjoyed your time with them? I know it's not the same because I'm not a CDer, but when I go out, I forget what I have on. I don't think about how I look, I just enjoy the experience of being there, interacting with the people.

    I once was in your situation (not being able to wear the clothes I wanted). There was an occasion many years ago when my ex husband and I flew to a fancy convention related to his work. All the important people were there. We both wore jeans on the flight and our luggage was lost. We arrived in the afternoon and that evening there was a very elegant semi-formal dinner as a welcome to the convention. My ex husband and I attended, wearing the clothes we had worn on the plane (our luggage showed up the next morning). I have to say that people didn't treat us any differently than if I had been wearing my cocktail dress and my husband his suit. We sat at the table with all these elegantly attired people, and we still had a great time with them. I actually forgot that I was wearing jeans!

    I don't know if this helps or not.
    Reine

  3. #3
    Call me Pam pamela7's Avatar
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    Jeanette, emphatically YES, its SO familiar. I've discussed weddings (and funerals) with my SO, and the problem is that the day is about the happy couple, and not the "stand-out guy in a dress", however, I WILL be in a dress at my daughter's wedding, and my ex will have to deal with it!
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dJFyz73MRcg
    I used to believe this, now I'm in the company of many tiggers. A tigger does not wonder why she is a tigger, she just is a tigger.

    thanks to krististeph: tigger = TG'er .. T-I-GG-er

  4. #4
    Martini Girl Katey888's Avatar
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    Right about now you should be in the midst of the ceremony, looking forward to the first of the canapes and champers... or herrings and beer if it's traditional...

    So this encouragement will come after the event, unless you're one of those young people that is never detached from a smartphone, which also might be a bit sad... I kinda get what you're saying, Jeanette, but for me the intense feelings of shame and potential embarrassment always suppressed any desire to be out amongst friends and family - but a lot of satisfaction and education can be gained from just looking and appreciating women at weddings... without making it too obvious, there probably are worse ways to spend a few hours with free drinks, food and a bit of a fashion show thrown in...

    I hope the weather is nice for you - we have sun here and we're not a million miles away...

    Katey x
    "Put some lipstick on - Perfume your neck and slip your high heels on
    Rinse and curl your hair - Loosen your hips, and get a dress to wear"
    Stefani Germanotta

  5. #5
    BEING YOUnique is AWESOME Princess Chantal's Avatar
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    Why not spice up your suit with some awesome accessories. Hats, tie or bowtie, a flashy vest, cufflinks, suspenders, belt, and shoes. There are many ways to fancy up men attire. Men clothing could be just as interesting as women clothing if you open your mind

  6. #6
    Aspiring Member Samantha_Smile's Avatar
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    LOL
    Sometimes... not often. I'm usually getting pumped to hang with my friends and pre-loading a few jack n cokes
    Samantha -x-

  7. #7
    GG ReineD's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Smile View Post
    I'm usually getting pumped to hang with my friends
    Good for you! And they probably sense that you're into having fun with them, which makes for a better time for all concerned!
    Reine

  8. #8
    Platinum Member Teresa's Avatar
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    Jeanette,
    Can you imagine being a professional photographer as I was for thirty years , going out and seeing all that week in week out ! OK I was lucky, I got to handle the fantastic dresses and that pleasure never went away !
    Consolation for me I had all my stuff in the darkroom so I could spend hours dressed when processing the pictures !

  9. #9
    Platinum Member
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    Total Eye Candy.

    Hi Jeanette, That is the thing that I enjoy, Seeing all of those lovely ladies dressed to the NINES.
    Having my ears triple pierced is AWESOME, ~~......

    I can explain it to you, But I can't comprehend it for you !

    If at first you don't succeed, Then Skydiving isn't for you.

    Be careful what you wish for, Once you ring a bell , you just can't Un-Ring it !! !!

  10. #10
    Platinum Member kimdl93's Avatar
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    You'll survive. For the benefit of those around you, try not to think about what you're missing. Instead, focus on socializing. Modesty soon you'll be enjoying yourself.

    Easy come, easy go;
    Easy left me long ago...

  11. #11
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    Jeanette; I know how you feel I have a wedding to go this coming Saturday, where I have to wear a men's suit and tie. I think I am going to mix it up some with all feminine lingerie under the suit. Once out of the shower use scented body lotion, spray myself with perfume, panties, pantyhose, suppose to be cool here and thinking of wearing a all-in-one body brief, then don my male suit.
    Stay long enough then leave and change into heels and insert breast forms for the drive home.

  12. #12
    Senior Member Krististeph's Avatar
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    Oh yes. And this actually got me dressing more (I had been in a slump).

    I was out on the US East Coast training for a job, shirt/tie & the occasional jacket. Not a big deal, but male enough that I wanted to rebel.

    But for some reason, rather than going out and buying a dress, I started thinking of the feminine equivalent of what i was wearing to work- , when I bought my first pantsuit! I picked up a rather dressy&chic number- grey with light blue pinstripes and a blue shell sweater for underneath. It also worked good with a few men's oxford shirts I had.

    It was a really neat / sublime feeling - almost like being a double agent- I was wearing a pantsuit- but one with decidedly menswear-like touches- just like a female in my job might do. I was delving deeper into being feminine by NOT overdoing it.

    I never crossdressed (outward) at that job, but it was lot of fun to play when I was on the road. But it did make dressing in male business wear more fun- and some of the nicer menswear has touches of refinement you might see on some nicer women's wear as well.

    But I WAS glad to get out of that and back into dresses. The suits- I got a fetish for them- over a dozen skirt & pant suits now- they are great. They exude femininity without screaming it- probably why I find them so attractive.

  13. #13
    MIDI warrior princess Amy Fakley's Avatar
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    Yeah I know exactly what you're talking about. Been a while since I had a wedding, but office holiday parties can be that way, or heck .. Sunday morning at church can be that way too.

    Like most things related to my gender issues it comes and goes. On a good day, I might not even notice.

    On a bad day, it feels like ... god I don't even know how to put it ... it's like taking a dog on a walk through a bacon factory ... being completely inundated with one example after another of just exactly the sort of experience I'd like to have in life, and knowing without a doubt that this will forever be as impossible as walking on the surface of the sun.

    That feeling can be such a gut punch, in the midst of an otherwise wonderful day.

    Over the years, I've come to understand it as a form of self pity, and as my Lutheran pastor used to say when I was a kid "that's poison, yo!". Realizing that, I try to avoid indulging that line of thought. Sometimes it even works, lol.

    Best of luck at the wedding. Try not to let it bother you too much!
    "Why shouldn't art be pretty? There are enough unpleasant things in the world." -Pierre-Auguste Renoir

  14. #14
    Member Ninna's Avatar
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    Oh honey!! Im sorry if you feel like that I know what you are feeling, but im sure you can enjoy tje party, even in male mode, maybe you can put some nice girly undetwear or paint you'te toenails!
    On tje other way, like the ladies said, mayhe you can forget clothes for a time, and enjoy youte family and friends.
    And don't worry im sure you are pretty that all the ladies in tue wedding, but lets say, this time, you gonna let them shine becouse you dont wanna overshadow them!! Hihihi
    If you go with a cute dress and make up, maybe all the girls die of envy!!
    Last edited by Ninna; 09-10-2015 at 10:39 AM.

  15. #15
    Platinum Member
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    OK, I'm going to be a little critical. One phrase: self absorbed

    If you stop thinking about yourself you may actually have a great time. If you do not care for the bride and groom stay home. Yes, I see many nicely attired women at functions. I don't choose to stay home and sulk because they are pretty. Before I was retired, when I went to work I interacted with many professional women who wore business suits, dress, skirts and blouses, heels and hosiery. I did not skip work because I was attired in dress slack, shirt and tie and dress shoes.

  16. #16
    Adventuress Kate Simmons's Avatar
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    Oh I get that Jeanette but these days I can have just as much fun attending functions in a suit and tie as I can dressed en femme. Mostly because it gives my GF a lot of pleasure. I especially like dancing in a suit and tie even though I can sort of "get away" with more different moves when en femme. Just a matter of perspective I guess.
    Second star to the right and straight on till morning

  17. #17
    Member jackielou's Avatar
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    do what Katelyn Jenner said on the Ellen DeGeneres show she wore a bra and pantyhose under her suit for years as she was giving pep talks to athletes so she could feel normal,i under-dress everyday every where i go bra and panties ,no problems

  18. #18
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    If the couple means anything to you, you'll remember that it's about them and not you. If they don't mean anything to you, you might consider opting out. If you're just doing some girly venting that ok too! Sometimes a girl just has to say what's on her mind!
    Last edited by Katie01; 09-10-2015 at 12:11 PM.

  19. #19
    Carole carhill2mn's Avatar
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    Familiar? Oh, yes! I had similar feelings when on cruises and the women got to dress in their finery. I was sure that I would have looked better than some of them!
    Hugs, Carole

  20. #20
    Neanderthal in nylons Julie Denier's Avatar
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    Weddings yes, but seeing smartly dressed women at trade shows and work conferences also trips my trigger

  21. #21
    Aspiring Member Sarah Beth's Avatar
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    I feel for you I know just what you are saying. A few weeks ago I went with my wife to her nephews wedding and I remember looking at the crowd and picking certain ones who wearing something really nice and thinking if only. There were a couple of them I wish I had a chance to ask where they got their dresses from.
    "It takes all kinds of kinds" Miranda Lambert
    Now some point a finger and let ignorance linger
    If they'd look in the mirror they'd find.
    That ever since the beginning to keep the world spinning
    It takes all kinds of kinds.

  22. #22
    Junior Member
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    Wedding dresses & bridesmaid dresses - makes me so jealous to see them. Especially the glossy, satin kind. I so much want to be dressed up like that. A cousin of mine got to wear a gorgeous satin dress as a flower-girl when we were kids - I was green with envy.

  23. #23
    Vespa Vixen AngelaYVR's Avatar
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    It used to be that for a wedding you would wear a morning suit, which is a very fine thing to wear and looks very dashing. You can also buy waistcoats in any number of colours these days, not to mention ties. Vintage/retro - like Victorian - suits can also be fun for the daring.

  24. #24
    Living in Kandi's Land Kandi Robbins's Avatar
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    Well Jeanette, I had to go to a wedding this summer on my wife's side of the family. But I had to do it with my wife and two daughters. Love them all to death, but it's a hard time watching everyone get all dolled up all day (only my wife knows about Kandi) and then going to the wedding. Outside of my family, I think I might have been able to be in the top 3 dressed women at the wedding had I been able to wear what I wanted!
    Pictures and stories of every time out: https://www.flickr.com/photos/131254150@N06/.

    Google "Kandi's Land" and visit my blog for positive and uplifting posts!

  25. #25
    Member Jennie2's Avatar
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    Hey we all have to do things we are not comfortable with that's part of life, make the best of it and underdress, Sexy panties, suspender belt and stockings, then you can think to yourself, I bet I am wearing sexier underwear than the bride and all of the bridesmaids, and that will be your secret and help you get through the day.
    Jennie x

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