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Thread: Don't want to go to this wedding

  1. #26
    AKA Lexi sometimes_miss's Avatar
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    As much as I hate to have to bring this up, please remember that this particular party is all about the bride and groom. It's not all about you; you're there to (hopefully), along with everyone else there, send them off on a lifetime of love and happiness, and at least have a grand old time on their wedding day. So put on your best suit, your best smiles, and be happy for them. For they only have a two in five chance of getting through this thing successfully, and marriage is a lot of work. They just don't know it yet. So let them enjoy the good times while they last!
    Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
    There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
    Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.

  2. #27
    Member Patrica Gil's Avatar
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    Penquins

    Yep for so many years having the same thoughts about weddings and being one who would like to wear the pretty dress, heels, and hose that would have made the events much more fun for this person. Well in the end what did happen is wearing pretty panties, pantyhose and camisole under the boy clothes felt wonderful. Shaving my legs and underarms before getting dressed made the experience much better. My choice of pantyhose were black so that way no socks were necessary and the feeling of being one of the girls a bit nicer.
    Last edited by Lorileah; 09-11-2015 at 03:05 PM. Reason: no need to quote OP

  3. #28
    Reality Check Krisi's Avatar
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    I think that if you've reached the point where you would rather stay home and prance around the house in a mini skirt and heels than attend a relative's wedding and interact with people in men's clothing, it's time to take a look at yourself and your mental condition. That's just not right.

    Where many crossdressers get into trouble with their spouses and families is getting so involved with dressing that they exclude other activities and other people.

    To be mentally healthy, you have to be able to turn it on and off as appropriate. I am about to leave on a two week "vacation" where Krisi will be left behind. That's fine, I will enjoy myself as Homer and Krisi will come back out when I get home. If you can't go a few hours without dressing, you have a problem.

  4. #29
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    Quote Originally Posted by pamela7 View Post
    the day is about the happy couple, and not the "stand-out guy in a dress", however, I WILL be in a dress at my daughter's wedding, and my ex will have to deal with it!
    Seriously?!?!? Have you discussed this with your daughter?? It's HER day, NOT yours. The affair should be remembered for its intimacy and beauty, NOT for '' Did you see that dude in that dress''? And leave the '' ex'' thing out of the equation--that's a pretty petty attitude on your part. She's an '' ex'' for a reason.
    I'm just sayin'......
    Jon

  5. #30
    Aspiring Member jenna116's Avatar
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    Might be a good opportunity to mentally critique what the ladies are wearing. Which ones are wearing a style that compliments/accommodates their figure? Which ones should have looked in a mirror before they went out? How would a particular outfit look on you?
    Jenn A --- nothing fancy, just me.

  6. #31
    Ice queen Lorileah's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Krisi View Post
    it's time to take a look at yourself and your mental condition. That's just not right.

    .
    I assume you have some sort of degree or proof for that statement

    I really never felt the way the OP feels. I know, sounds strange for a TS but when I dressed up as a guy, I rocked the look to best of my ability. I had a tux that was fitted and I had several sports jackets that were different cuts and colors. I hated ties so I would wear a shirt that didn't have a collar or had a special collar. Shirts could be colored or have a subtle print. Ties could be bright or even comical.

    I always have to wonder about the complaining of who wears what to whatever ceremony or party, The women's clothing is just as much a uniform as yours. Expected lenght, cut, color, style. I know people here "live" for hose...but most women HATE them, yet wear them to functions because they are "expected" to. It also confuses me that the same people who complain they "HAVE" to wear something wouldn't wear a dress or heels or whatever if it were allowed because they are afraid.

    I will agree with Krisi and say "Suck it up, Buttercup." Life has requirements that we ALL live with
    The earth is the mother of all people and all people should have equal rights upon it.
    Chief Joseph
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    “Love isn't a state of perfect caring. It is an active noun like struggle. To love someone is to strive to accept that person exactly the way he or she is, right here and now.” - Fred Rogers,

  7. #32
    GG ReineD's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jenna116 View Post
    Which ones are wearing a style that compliments/accommodates their figure?
    With all due respect, Jenna, would you like people to parse you like that when they see or talk to you (whether in guy or girl mode), or would you rather they base their opinion on how you interact with them: your personality, the things you say, etc.

    I do see people sometimes whose choice of clothing stands out in a critical way ... usually when they are showing way too much skin for their body mass index, or they are way outside the rather large range of what people do wear, but this happens rarely. For the rest, my opinion is that we all have different tastes and a person's tastes are appropriate for them. So what they wear is secondary and the focus is not on their outward appearance but on who they are as people.
    Reine

  8. #33
    Call me Pam pamela7's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Joni T View Post
    Seriously?!?!? Have you discussed this with your daughter?? It's HER day, NOT yours. The affair should be remembered for its intimacy and beauty, NOT for '' Did you see that dude in that dress''? And leave the '' ex'' thing out of the equation--that's a pretty petty attitude on your part. She's an '' ex'' for a reason.
    I'm just sayin'......
    Jon
    See my other thread on my daughter. Chances are my ex wants to give her away, so she can therefore wear the trousers/suit, and I can wear the frock - it works on many levels. My daughter wrote me a lovely card saying how me dressing/being me had shown her its okay to be yourself, different, and she's proud.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dJFyz73MRcg
    I used to believe this, now I'm in the company of many tiggers. A tigger does not wonder why she is a tigger, she just is a tigger.

    thanks to krististeph: tigger = TG'er .. T-I-GG-er

  9. #34
    Member Tabitha_Lynn's Avatar
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    I am certain that Jeanette wasnt intending to sound selfish with this thread. Those of us that are native English need to remember that there are some on the forum who arent as fluent in the language. Add tat to the difficulty of conveying emotions and feelings in the written word and there can certainly be misinterpretations.

    What I feel Jeanette was trying to say is that the wedding was going to be a challenge seeing all of the pretty dresses while dressed in drab. I can relate in that seeing pretty women in pretty clothes sometimes makes me a bit jealous. So I can imagine being at a wedding if you really like drssimg to the nines.

  10. #35
    There's that smile! CarlaWestin's Avatar
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    Don't want to go to this wedding

    Quote Originally Posted by Teresa View Post
    Jeanette,
    Can you imagine being a professional photographer as I was for thirty years , going out and seeing all that week in week out ! OK I was lucky, I got to handle the fantastic dresses and that pleasure never went away !
    Consolation for me I had all my stuff in the darkroom so I could spend hours dressed when processing the pictures !
    Uhgg! I know what you mean. As a teenager I would service weddings. My father had a home based floral business and my brother was a photographer. But, I got to pin the corsages on the bridesmaids. Pinning carefully with my left hand protecting their delicate breast from a mishap with the pin. Then I would hang out for the reception. Free booze and food. And I looked great in a suit with long hippy hair. But, weddings just suck. Recently, wifey relieved me of having to travel to an east coast wedding in her family. I was soooo relieved. I also hate traveling.

    And now I'm getting a week of private Carla time!
    I've waited so long for this time. Makeup is so frustrating. Shaking hands and I look so old. This was a mistake.
    My new maid's outfit is cute. Sure fits tight.
    And then I step into the bedroom and in the mirror, I see a beautiful woman looking back at me.
    Smile, Honey! You look fabulous!

  11. #36
    Silver Member daviolin's Avatar
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    I know the feeling. One of these days I'm just going to be me, if I don't chicken out first. Daviolin
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    A CD AND HIS WARDROBE, ITS A BEAUTIFUL THING.

  12. #37
    eyah! Mink's Avatar
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    just show up wearing a wedding dress!

    one more beautiful than that of the bride!

    that'll show 'em!

  13. #38
    Ice queen Lorileah's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tabitha_Lynn View Post

    What I feel Jeanette was trying to say is that the wedding was going to be a challenge seeing all of the pretty dresses while dressed in drab. I can relate in that seeing pretty women in pretty clothes sometimes makes me a bit jealous. So I can imagine being at a wedding if you really like drssimg to the nines.
    I learned jealousy is a wasted emotion. It doesn't do anyone any good. And if you focus on what you are jealous of, it gets far worse. We all want something that is out of our reach at this time. Money, love, wearing what you "want", but stewing over that just makes you go to the next emotion....anger. Anger doesn't fix anything either so it is a loop you should not get into (yes I get angry but then I get vindictive). The points here are 1) it ain't your circus, don't tease the monkeys, 2) It's only for a few hours 3) Would you REALLY wear it if the Bride said you could?( 90% here wouldn't) 4) do something subtle to make YOU feel better 5) Why stir yourself up?. There is absolutely NO reason to not have a good time unless you don't want to have a good time
    The earth is the mother of all people and all people should have equal rights upon it.
    Chief Joseph
    Nez Perce



    “Love isn't a state of perfect caring. It is an active noun like struggle. To love someone is to strive to accept that person exactly the way he or she is, right here and now.” - Fred Rogers,

  14. #39
    trans punk Badtranny's Avatar
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    Yeah this is one of those times when I don't have a clue about CD's

    First of all, there is no way you're ever gonna wear a dress to a wedding so let's be real here. Second every girl knows that accessories make the outfit, so why not just accessorize your tux or suit or whatever?

    Now I don't understand the fascination with underpants, but do whatever you gotta do I guess. What I'm talking about is maybe a nice silk shirt, in a nice fem color, lavender, aqua, something that would really set off your skin or eyes. If your ears are pierced, then how about a single stud that matched the color of your shirt? If your ears aren't pierced, then how 'bout a nice chain around your neck. Not a choker type, but slightly looser with a matching bracelet? Also, a lot of guys overlook a great belt. A sassy belt in a great color can really set off an outfit. What about socks? Your socks can be flashy and match your tie for example. And don't forget all of the awesome options for ties.

    There are soooooooo many options for a guy to look sharp or perhaps even a little fem, with the added benefit that that ladies will absolutely be into it. Pro tip: We LOVE a guy who knows how to dress.
    Quote Originally Posted by STACY B
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  15. #40
    Aspiring Member jjjjohanne's Avatar
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    When I go to a wedding in a suit, I always underdress with pantyhose. Weddings are about the only place where I ever go where I am not the only person in hose.

    I have considered going to a stranger's wedding while dressed pretty.
    I am a man who presents male and wears feminine clothes.

  16. #41
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    Just make up your mind that you are going to have a great time despite your attire and everything else. It works!

    I went to my youngest brother's wedding awhile back--on my birthday. I have six brothers. In a big family where the status of being kinfolk is a big deal in weddings, he rejected all of us for his wedding party. He chose four of his college buddies and all three of his brothers-in-law. Mom had her hands full trying to calm everyone down. When she found me, I told her that I had made up my mind to have a great time and nothing that anyone could do would change that. And I did have a wonderful time. I have some awesome uncles, nieces, cousins, shirttail relatives and family friends! Some folks were unhappy and stayed that way for years. The rest of us partied late into the night.

    It is what you make it. Or as my First Sergeant in the Army told me, "Any fool can be miserable. It takes a smart guy to be happy regardless of the circumstances."

    Quote Originally Posted by Lorileah View Post
    I learned jealousy is a wasted emotion. It doesn't do anyone any good.
    How right you are! Envy is the only one of the "seven deadly sins" that offers nothing but misery. With gluttony, at least you get some good food before bad things set in. With sloth, you get some good time off before it catches up to you. With lust, you can get some time in the sack. But with envy, there is nothing up front to sweeten the pot. So don't give in to the temptation. Go out there and intentionally have a great time--just to spite the temptation if for no other reason!
    Last edited by Katey888; 09-12-2015 at 06:17 PM. Reason: Consecutive posts merged - please use edit post to add to existing post rather than adding a successive post...

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