After a while without being able to go out dressed up, I took the time to go to the local support group in my state. It was great to see everyone again but on the way home I just started going in the downward spiral of poor self image, not feeling good about how I look despite the compliments I received, how little I could really be myself, and how many of the friends that know that I'm transgender are so far away. I started to feel alone and getting pretty depressed. You want to know what brought me out of it? My radio. Sara Bareilles - Brave came on. I'm sure I've heard it before but never really listened to the words until this point. What really got me was the part "I just want to see you be brave." It caused me to tear up and start crying. Then Pink- Perfect came on after with this part "If you, ever ever feel, like your nothing, you are perfect, to me" causing me to sob in my car. There I was, crying, getting out the bottled up emotions I've been holding onto and then the next song came on, Kristina Perri's 1000 years. The song that my wife and I danced to at our wedding. Did you ever get the sense that the radio knew how you were feeling and was purposely playing these songs to make you feel better? Well, with the last song I felt the last of the sadness wash away to the feeling of hope. My hope and determination to be happy returned and I felt that all of my problems were things that I could overcome and not as bad as I thought they were. You might be wondering why I'm sharing all of this. Yeah, I have soft spot for pop music but what does this have to do with the transgender community? For me as assigned male at birth, I was taught to bottle up my feelings but after lots of therapy I've learned that this only creates more problems. It's sometimes hard to unlearn. My point is that it hurts a whole lot more when you bottle things up then when you say what is really bothering you. Getting support from people you love and care about can be very important as well. I know I would be so much worse off if I hadn't started going to therapy, come out to friends, found a support group, and started opening up to my wife about my emotions. I hope that if you are still reading this that you make sure you take time to get in touch with your emotions and express them in a healthy way either by telling a friend you trust or even a therapist that you like and encourages you to be who you are. This ends the public service announcement. This in itself was cathartic for me to write. I have to go now, my cat is trying really hard to get some attention. <3
The crossdressing community is one that needs to stick together and continue to be there for each other for whatever one needs. We are always trying to improve the forum to better serve the crossdresser in all of us.
but what does this have to do with the transgender community? For me as assigned male at birth, I was taught to bottle up my feelings but after lots of therapy I've learned that this only creates more problems. It's sometimes hard to unlearn. My point is that it hurts a whole lot more when you bottle things up then when you say what is really bothering you. Getting support from people you love and care about can be very important as well. I know I would be so much worse off if I hadn't started going to therapy, come out to friends, found a support group, and started opening up to my wife about my emotions. I hope that if you are still reading this that you make sure you take time to get in touch with your emotions and express them in a healthy way either by telling a friend you trust or even a therapist that you like and encourages you to be who you are. This ends the public service announcement. This in itself was cathartic for me to write. I have to go now, my cat is trying really hard to get some attention. <3
